Friday, September 14, 2007
life is precious
It is with heavy heart that I report tonight. As of this morning, Calebs' white count was down to 15 and now has soared to 400 in a few short hours. Only 100 points less than it was when he was in big trouble before. I am confessing that I am nearing the end of my ability to bounce back and am worried sick. I realize, tho Caleb greets me each morning with a gentle kiss, looks into my eyes as I spoon feed him, attempts to speak when I ask him to, and writes that he is well when I know he is feverish, that there is absolutely no guarantee in life and that he could still not make it. We remain ever hopeful - but tonight I feel like someone has sucked the blood out of me. Kai and Liz have arrived and I see Caleb struggle to wake to the sound of his brothers voice.. so connected these two. I know that parents have lost children and survive, but to lose Caleb is not an option to me and I dangle my heart out to any entity who will listen and I plead for his life. He is near comatose again - lifeless and not responsive and I ache with the thoughts that churn through my head. I am tired- so tired- so tired.
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105 comments:
All my thoughts are with Caleb right now. He is the toughest boy. To even have the strength to say that he is feeling well with he is obviously not takes incredible positivity of the likes I can't even quite grasp. Most would use the strength to say whats bothering them or whats hurting but not Leb. He is a strong soul even in this weakened state. I may not have faith in god but I have faith in the will to live and we all no that Caleb has got the will of lion.
May you find the peace to rest this night and wake with new strength and vigor to keep the faith for your dear son Caleb.... Sharyn Your expereinces and courage to share thme so eloquently has been an inspiration to so many! You have touched so many people who are perfect strangers (myself included) through this journey...Thank you! It seems each day another gaurdian angel appears to watch over your wonderful family... my entire family will keep keepin' the faith :)
a mom in md
i just lit my "caleb candle" and some nag champa and said a prayer for you all... ended with an "arrrrgh"! sending love, strength and inner peace from the other side of the country to the strongest pirate i've ever met, and the strongest mumsie i have yet to meet! your boy still has plenty of jags ahead of him, let the doctors do what they do best in the world and just be there to love him and each other. and if you need to cry or beat up a pillow, do it, you'll feel better and stronger afterwards.
with love from CA always, but especially tonight.
Our hearts dangle together...
Dearest Sharyn,
I would like you to rest your head down and sleep and the angels will hold you and renew your strength.
Caleb wants you to rest and tomorrow will is another day.
You have been a power of strength and you are allowed to rejuvienate.
Prayers and healings are focused on all. Sleep
loving thoughts
I'll send as much positive energy as I can muster, and a little more after that.
/salute
love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love (i prayed hard for you all tonight)
Oh Sharyn, Know that all the love in the world is yours tonight. Namaste
Sharyn - I wrote once earlier, but feel compelled to add my words this early morning. Thank you so very much for sharing your family's walk. Your strength is powerful. I identify so much with you being the Mom of three boys about the ages of yours. I lift up prayers for all of you (including Wellfleet) daily. May you feel God's loving embrace as your heart seeks His "still small voice" even in times like these. He IS with you. - Rochester, New York/Wellfleet visitor
O Sharyn. Know that in each moment you are doing everything in your power to help him. There isn't anything else you can do. We all admire you so much (and always have). Thank you again for having the strength to write. We are praying with and for you all. Love, Susanna
Sharyn,
We're with you. Faith, Hope and Love are what He gave us. But the greatest is Love. No matter where you are with your Faith or Hope, Love remains. Love so strong. So painfully strong. Hold on.
Caleb is in His hands. You don't have to believe to have it so. Love can be so beautiful but loving someone also hurts. I know that hurt you are feeling is beyond belief. A mother's/wife's/daughter's love is so special and so strong. Just know that you have given every ounce of love that you can to Caleb. He knows. A hospital chapel can be a comfort. I am sending you strength to face the minutes, hours, days and years ahead.
Dear Sharyn,
We are all with you, wrapping loving arms and prayers around all of you.
This is a journey like no other.
I have been awake since 4AM and finally two hours later, did what I was compelled to do earlier, check the website..hold on to reality and hope...and know all our arms are under and around you and Caleb and whoever journeys by your side...sending prayers to soothe you all.....an amazing family, --the definition of family......J
I have been awake since 4AM and finally two hours later, did what I was compelled to do earlier, check the website..hold on to reality and hope...and know all our arms are under and around you and Caleb and whoever journeys by your side...sending prayers to soothe you all.....an amazing family, --the definition of family......J
Please know that we are all here for you - my extended family (in fleet on the 4th) prays for him daily and has such admiration for you...
Sharyn,
My thoughts are with you and the Potter's every day. All the Guardian Angels are praying for you all. Hold on and try to stay strong for Caleb. You are an amazing person to know.
Kevin
Oh I felt sick as I read this- I am so sorry you all are facing yet another hurdle. My thoughts are with you always but I will spend this Sat. with my children enjoying them and their wonderful spirits as you have reminded us all to do- and we will send our positive thoughts to you all day. Hang in there- you are not alone.
Oh Sharyn, My heart breaks for you.Your a strong woman and you, Caleb and your whole family will get through this. Stay strong you have people out there praying and supporting you everyday.
Michelle from Lowell
Sharyn,
Holding our collective breaths as we watch through your eyes and heart... Try to sleep some. love, arlene
Sharyn, a candle for Caleb is burning in my heart. I know that there are absolutely no words that can comfort you and provide you with rest and peace and also heal Caleb. I don't know if there is anything as painfull as having a child in distress and feel helpless in "fixing it". As a parent, your experience pains me as it does many others.
As much as this cyberspace community can be, we are with Caleb, praying and sending thoughts of hope and healing. As I hold my prayer rock from a beach in Wellfleet I hold Caleb and your family in my thoughts throughout my day.
I hope that this past night has brought improvement in Caleb's condition
Loving and ever encompassing spirit of life, who is as constant as the waves and the tides, continue to wrap Caleb in your healing love and energy. Give him strength to fight this infection and peace from discomfort.
Also surround Sharyn, Kai, Max and this entire family with your love and support. Let them feel your presence during this trying time, give them peace in knowing that you are working with Caleb every moment of the day and night and never leave his presence.
I think of you all this morning. It breaks my heart to hear your sadness today. On your low days, I think of your infectious laugh, Sharyn. You have the ability to light up a room. When I think of your laugh, I imagine you lighting up room 1228 for your Lebster. Stay strong. Caleb is a fighter. He has many lives left...
I can't help to cry over this matter with you sharon, And I dont blame you for breakin down. you have been amazing through all of the ups and downs, and to be scared is normal. but listen hear, caleb is a warrior, and I believe,if he wanted to let go, he would have long time before, he has spoken through the divine and made it clear he will battle, he will fight, he wont let nothing keep him down. I pray for that strength to be vital, to be powerfull in this time of sheer weekness, and here we are again, ready to gather our powers in town lawn. breath sharon and hold on to your heart. I feel the rain falling and know that the strength of the almighty is working hard and caleb will fight sharon, he will. I love you and just breath.... just pray. I love you lots. emmy D
we're sending you a huge hug! and of course huge prayers for Caleb. Robin & Priscilla
As always, you all have my prayers and thoughts. May you all dig deep and find the strength to keep fighting.
Amy
Dear Sharyn,
My heart aches for your pain. We are praying every day for Caleb,for you and the family and sending you all our love and support. Your Mother's love is boundless and it WILL pull Caleb through! He is telling you this, "I am well".
Kathy and Owen
Oh my dear, my dear,
I will not say don't worry, because I am worried. I will not say don't cry because my tears are flowing. You are with Caleb, in his heart and soul, and he is there in yours. Your pain encompasses all of us, and we are all with you with healing prayers, and loving thoughts. Know that you are strong, and know that Caleb shares your strength. He will fight.
With a warm embrace, and much compassion for you and your dear family,
peg from PA
Sharyn,
Remember that God's arms are wrapped around Caleb...and with you and the boys. We are ever so hopeful and praying every moment.
Love you... Susie
Oh Sharyn. We cry with you; we pray with you; we wish you strength to endure, to find peace, to rest. We are with you on this arduous journey.
Mom in CT
Dear Sharyn, Caleb, Kai, Max, Jan, Liz and Jenny, the Lord said, "I will not foresake you."
I have been following Caleb's progress via your posts, commenting only to myself since I don't know any of you personally. (I visit Wellfleet a couple times per year, and was there in August). Please add me now, in your mind and in your heart, to the huge number of people who care and who hope with you. Know that Caleb and you continue to educate and to inspire....that your articulate communications have drawn an incredible amount of positive energy your way.... and that there is an ocean of strength for you all to draw from....
Sharyn,
Breathe, breathe....I wish I could hug you and comfort you. As a Mom I can not imagine what you are going through, but I do know my heart aches for you, Jan, Caleb and the boys ....as well as the rest of "our cyber family".
I have said it so many times in the past 2 months, but, always with meaning...peace and love be with you. You have taught us all so much, thank you for that, you have such an awesome family. I hope you find the strength to carry onward through this....as we have said the sun will shine again tomorrow. With that I hope Caleb has the energy to kiss you Good Morning and give you a smile. Please if you get a chance..rest.. Another battle means you need all of your strength. I have grown to love you all (though we never met) so much wish you the best.
Peace, love, thoughts, and PRAYERS are with you today, and every day
You're not alone. Love knows no boundaries such as time and distance; we're right there with you and Caleb, right now !!!!!!!!!!!
Maryann Stow
Let go and let God.
We are holding Caleb in our hearts in Provincetown and sending love and strength to Sharyn, Kai, Max, Jenny, Liz, Jan, Sarah, Carol, Ray, and all of Caleb's immediate family and blog family.
We wish the doctors clear insight into what must be done to continue the healing process.
With love to Caleb and his family,
with love to Caleb's friends and community, my prayers are offered. To all my Gods and demi-gods...all the grandmas and grandpas, aunties and uncles up in Heaven, I ask you to smile down on this handful of Earthlings who love each other so, and do what you can. There is such love here. Such love.
My heart breaks for you. Feel like I have to repeat two things already written here - Let go and let God - and - "I will not forsake you."
God bless you all.
Whatever happens your family has the love and support of so many people to carry you through....
my heart skips a beat every time i start to read-i always seem to hold my breath through the entire post until i know caleb is fine. perhaps the rain today will be cleansing and soothing and all those prayers out there will be taken with it. with arms around you and big love...
hey crazy lady,
What ever god has in store for caleb we can't change that. You know he is fighting with everything he's got. He will not give up. But sometimes shit happens, fair or not. Just understand that we are all here for your whole family. What ever hand that lad has been dealt we must live with it. But don't put so much of the burden on yourself, because it has already been decided. We just have to wait and see. He will be fine.
Much love
judith
I know you are so tired but Caleb will pull through, hang in there just a little longer. We are with you Sharyn.
My own mother said this prayer worked miracles...I have faith that all the love and prayers sent to you and Caleb will help him through this
Memorare
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me.
Amen
My thoughts are with you and Caleb and the rest of your family.
dear sharyn, these ups and downs are excuriating...you and Caleb ride them out with ferocious strength and amazing love!!! I have kept a powerful image of Caleb with me since his accident... at the Juice, laughing and talking to my grandkids, being his pirate self! They were SO impressed.. Cora has always been "intigued" by him...sensed his open, playful spirit... Sending love, healing thoughts and energy... hang in there...Laura B.
My heart, prayers, and thoughts are forever with you.. Sharyn, have faith PLEASE.. he will come out of it, you have reason to worry, be sad, and feel tired. But please we all are pulling for you immensely and know he will come out like the fierce warrior he is and always has been. I love you all..XO..Clance
Oh my god Sharyn.... I can barley handle what you are going through what this whole situations holds. I hate it! It is soooo fruserating and unfair! It is so easy to look at it like that. I will just be in the situation and hold you close to my heart hold him close to my heart. I too will hold him in light hold you in light and everyone in this situation in light. There is nothing I can say but I will breath peace. I love you soooooo much! He is a fighter and he willl get through this it is just so hard to see that everytime something like this happens. You amaze me thank you for being vulnerable and sharing yourself with everyone the way you do! I LOVE YOU!
You've taken center stage with your bravery, courage and complete faith in faith! I have not stopped pleading & praying since July 4th and will not stop...my heart aches for you; your soul is his soul is all of our souls and together we believe...luv all of you -
Oh my God, mama, we are with you in every possible way. We pray, we share, we console, we love and we believe.
Our combined faith is strong- I hope you can feel our arms around you.
Dear Sharyn
You have invited and instructed us to care deeply. We do, we do, we do. May these clouds part.
Elaine
Sharyn and Caleb,
Let every voice be thunder, let every heart be strong! We're still working! Beleve!
Jackie
Sharyn,
Tears stream down my face this morning as I read your blog. My heart goes out to you and your family as you continue this roller coaster ride. As a mother, I can only imagine what you are going through. My heart aches for you and your family. Our thougts and many prayers continue to be with you...I will say some extra prayers today.
tc
Caleb is on his path to whatever is in store for him. You, sharyn, have given him the love and courage to walk that path. No matter where that path leads, you must ALWAYS remember that you have done everything humanly possible to help him on this journey. No regrets, no looking back and wondering "what if I had....." - woulda, coulda, shoulda....you've reached inside yourself and given your best to him. He's on his own now and we must patiently wait. It rains again today, hopefully
washing away more infection and clearing the path for him.
we are all with you
sharyn be strong, but rest too, have faith -- we are all sending the positive energy. anonymous
Let yourself fall. There are people around you that will catch you and cradle you in their arms while you while you grieve. Trust them and yourself. You will rise from their arms when you can. Caleb is here. Now. Even so, Caleb knows when he must fall. He trusts that the people around him will catch him and cradle him in love and caring concern. Why then, would you expect that you anything less? Take care of yourself. Don't fire your feelings. Respect what your emotions are telling you.
With much love and admiration,
Lesa
Correction (missing words) in message above:
Why then, would you expect that you deserve anything less? Take care of yourself. Don't fire your feelings. Respect what your emotions are telling you.
Lesa
my heart aches with the thoughts that churn through my head as well......cliche's run through my head... "what's meant to be will be"...."it's in His hands"....."fate"......they all have merit, certainly.....but, right now.....with heavy heart.....I am starting to get pissed.......come on....enough already......what ever greater power(s) at hand here........do your job and make this one right!!! With all the prayers and love and energy that surrounds......this is supposed to be a no brainer......it just seems so unfair, all the ups and downs........please know that I'm with you Sharyn, all day, every day, pleading right along with you...if you need a friend to come be with you, especially one with large and comfy shoulders to lean on....all you have to do is say the word and I'll be there....no matter what is happening here.....I'll drop whatever I'm doing and be there in a flash....(very much like the birthing of all three of your kids)....all you have do do is call.....love, jodi
Dont give up Mumsie, I am not and pray that Caleb and you dont either...I would take your heavy heart and hold it for you if I could...Ali Manchester UK
my heart and thoughts are completely with you sharyn. i have always known you as an amazing and strong woman, but now you a super hero! i love your family and i know that caleb will fight right on through this!
lots of love
Dearest Sharyn,
I know you are tired and you should be. Navigating thru these rough,churning waters seems almost fruitless. But knowing Caleb thru his dear friends,I feel that even 'tho this incredible set-back seems like the "last straw" strength and love and faith will overcome all.Don't dispair.Caleb will be better very soon.
My heart and good thoughts are with you. Love, Penny on St.John
Oh Sharyn,
Our hearts go out to you. We are so thinking and praying for Caleb and all of you.
God Bless,
The Young Family
You and Caleb are strong Sharyn, and resilient. We are wishing you both peace and rest. The skies in Wellfleet have opened up as if with tears drenching the earth. Maybe that is what is needed now - a time to allow yourselves to cry and then refresh.
I read your words this morning and feel perhaps a fraction of the pain and uncertainty that you are feeling with this roller coaster ride of healing, though it takes the spirit right out of me. In my beginning career as a nurse, I am always taken a back by how fast things can change, but have faith that they change just as quickly for the good as well. We are all praying for Caleb's continued strength, and have the utmost confidence that he will perservere through this current hurdle. The good food that you have so lovingly been feeding him these past few days will give his body a boost and we are joining you in calling on all the great spirits of the universe to embrace him in their healing arms. We love you mumsie, take heart.
Pilar and the Clements Clan
Sharyn,
Someone else has already said what I want to say: We are all with you.
I am praying and keeping the faith, Gail
Faith is defiance.
Defiance of evidence, defiance of numbers, defiance of expert opinion. Faith is life where there should be no life.
A sprout reaches out to the sun through the concrete.
Just know that our sprits are with you and that you are always in our hearts which are full love for you and your boys. Brailsford & Jean
A Native American Prayer
So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life.
Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide. Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and grovel to none.
When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself.
Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision.
When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death, so that when the time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.
Chief Tecumseh(Crouching Tiger) Shawnee Nation 1768-1813
This prayer was read at my dear friend husbands's funeral last January. He was 40 years old and leaves behind a 9 and 5 year old. He was diagnosed with stage 5 colon cancer the same week his wife found out she was pregnant with their daughter. The doctor's told him he would not live to see the birth...not only did he defy the odds but he had 4 amazing years with his daughter Zoe (who name means life...after her daddy) I think this prayer is very poignant for Caleb having never met Caleb but judging from the thoughts expressed in this blog and his mumsie amazing unbelievable strength. he is a person true to himself and others....Marty (my friends husband) was the same way and there is not a day goes by that we don't miss him but are ever so thankful he was in our lives and our mission it to make sure his children remember and grow to be the same time of human being. Those of you in Caleb's inner circle are truly blessed to know such a person,...God has a plan for each and everyone and we need to remind ourselves no matter how dark the hour is we are and were lucky to have met/known/love such a great strong true person.
God Bless and hug your family and friends tighter today :)
a mom
oh,mumsie - how you haven't splintered off into thousand pieces before this is beyond me. I know you do it for Caleb but do you realize that you do it for us too? Your strength is our strength. But it is OK to be tired, it is OK to rest, it is OK. Know that thousands of arms are wrapped around you and your boy and the rest of your family. We are blessed to know you.
Sharyn, Holding you and Caleb in my heart and mind. jack
no doubts, Sharyn.
how many times has Caleb proven his strength? He will do what needs to be done!
no doubts.
"Rough it up good!"
Tears instantly spring to my eyes for I too fear where Caleb is. But dry those eyes we will rise again for you Sharyn, we are an army of prayers and we have moved mountains before and I hope with all my being we can do so again and again as many times as we need to. I send all of my love and well being to him and anything I have left after that.
Of course you are tired, you are both fighting a war and like any war it takes a toll. I have the utmost faith in Caleb and knowing how badly this blog community and Wellfleet communtiy need him someone up there must be mighty stupid to mess with First Class Pirate Army, we are a force and we will send again our love and prayers as we do as often as we can.
Sharyn I put out my hands to hold you, I put out my heart to carry you, and I put out my mind to strengthen you.
I know we all want nothing more than for this to be over with, for him to be healthy, happy, and home. But I fear that the road is still long and bumpy but as we were here in the beginning we are here now and in even bigger numbers. Just remember when you feel you have nothing left that Caleb and his story is reaching far and wide from sea to sea and from person to person, everyday I hear of someone new finding the beauty of this community and his story. He and you can manage to change masses and he isn't even here to do it. I can't help but smile knowing the lives you are touching and changing for the better. I send any and all of my strength for Caleb, you, Kai, Max and Jan to use at your dispossal (especially Caleb).
I was going to share with you a dream I had last night before I came on and read his progress but I still feel I must share it.
Caleb was with me and many of our friends, and all the boys and the fleetian crew were there, we had a roaring bonfire and we were watching the boys play fireworks wars (he would know what I mean by that) we were out on the beach and the keg was far from tapped. Caleb was sitting by my side smiling that smile of pure happiness and we were talking of all we had been through, the days we thought we'd never be here again. We laughed over the few who managed to climb to the top of the dune and then throw themselves or run down until they came rolling or sliding to the bottom. Another pallette was thrown on and as the fire grew in strength he leaned over and told me, "We can do anything, just wait you haven't even seen the best part". With the roar of the waves and the heat from the fire I awoke. I couldn't help but smile and cry for I could feel him there with us in those moments of my dream, and all I hoped at that moment is that while he lay sleeping that he was there too.
Of course we all want nothing but good but often there is bumps in the road and I will keep believing no matter how many downs we have all that matters is that we fight with every prayer to bring our Pirate Captain home, so in a year or two that dream might just come true, just like he said we haven't seen the best part yet.
I leave you Sharyn with as many lipstick kisses as one can send and so many warm and tender hugs your arms might just get tired. I will keep holding on, and the legion of people who daily check the progress of Caleb will keep holding on, so when you are both feeling weak remember you have an army that will gladdly carry you.
Love Rachael
P.S. As the rain makes grey skies I can't help but to think we are all in a gloomy state, but lets pick ourselves up and send everything we have because if he can fight back from a 1% chance we can help him get back from this.
P.S.S. I am going to a concert tonight and I wish that you could please whisper in Calebs ear for me that my sister, our friends, and I (especially me) will be dancing for him and sending all of that energy straight to him to help him fight. That I am dancing for him and there will be a day when he can be there to watch us dance again.
Like Rachael, I too am going out dancing tonight. Every ounce of energy I generate will be sent your way Caleb. I miss you and cannot wait to be wrapped in your big bear hug once again. Thank you for writing to us...For believing in this connection that binds us all together. As you well know, it's the relationships that we have that make this life worth living. And you have SO MANY to live for! I love you Cabes. We're here with you. Please don't worry.
Love, sky-hole
"I cannot go to school today,"
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
"I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I'm going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I've counted sixteen chicken pox
And there's one more--that's seventeen,
And don't you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut--my eyes are blue--
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I'm sure that my left leg is broke--
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button's caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb.
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is--what?
What's that? What's that you say?
You say today is. . .Saturday?
G'bye, I'm going out to play!"
Caleb, Sharyn, Max, Kai...here are my wishes for you all right now. Although i am in New Mexico right now my thoughts are always as close as they can be the people i love on the east coast. Be well and remain as wonderful as your always are.
love alita:)
it is ok to surrender,
we are all with you. I have so much faith that he will pull through all of these challenges, knowing they may go on and off for a while. It is so hard to be patient. We are sending so much love and prayer sharyn, we are with you.
weeks
Sharyn, I wish so to travel back in time to that fun day of laughter and play when all of us were celebrating the 4th and all was right with the world. I can't even remember most of the parade anymore, because the end of that day takes over. I know you are tired.. that word doesn't even cover it, i'm sure. Exhausted, drained, emotionally wrecked, and losing faith are probably more like it. But here we are. So many people are right there with you as you struggle to understand why and how this all could be happening. Don't lose faith sharyn. Please. You are going to come through this, and Caleb is going to come through this. just his ability to try to comfort you by saying that he is feeling well, when we all know that he can't possibly be feeling all that well, is a miracle and shows how much strength, love, and awareness he has left in there. My heart has never felt so heavy as I stand here at a computer in the library, tears streaming down my face,writing to you and trying to find any words that might offer some comfort, if only for a moment. I love you and I love your family and I will continue hold you all in my heart. Maybe I'll even go out dancing tonight also, so I can try & send that energy up there to you. I wish you peace of mind and a good nights rest. I wish caleb comfort and health and laughter and love. Thinking of you always...amy stj
For Caleb and family...
From the Lees...
Saint Jude, friend of Jesus, faithful servant, apostle and martyr, helper in despairing cases, great in virtue and rich in miracles, please hear our prayers for -
CALEB POTTER
Sharyn your words, no matter the situation, take my breath away. Your strength shines through, even when you feel so beat down. My thoughts are with you and Caleb today, as they have been. Everyone's thoughts and prayers will shine through all this and hopefully lift your heart.
In the Catholic tradition, in which I was raised, I offer up my labor today, as I have been since Caleb’s accident, for you and your lovely family. My work today was fittingly in our community garden, where we grow for local shelters. Gardening and mothering are much alike. You plant the seed, tend it with care, but there comes a time when the end result is not in your hands.
Your exhaustion is the gift that brings you to surrender. Surrender does not mean that you lose hope or faith but that you let go of the illusion of control.
Do not lose faith in his journey or yours. Whatever the ultimate outcome, whatever the reason why or why not, this is your journey. Each life is perfect as it is. This was a painful lesson for me during my childbearing years. You are both surrounded with love today and every day.
With love and deep admiration, Pat
caleb, sharyn, max, kai, jan, i am holding you in my heart...
those who have written before me have spoken my truth...
thank you my beloved alita for posting...i love you baby girl...
love all of you for loving... for caring & being a thread in the potter-lindsay web of LIFE...
thank you sky for your beautiful photos
xoxoxoxo deirdre
"if the only prayer you say in your whole life is THANK YOU it would suffice"
meister echkardt
Dear Sharyn,
We are all with you, even those that don't "know" you. As a mother, I am with you with all of my heart and soul.
You must feel so incredibly battered right now, I simply can't imagine, even though I nearly lost my own child a few short years ago. Breathe deeply, try to rest, and do not give up hope. There is no reason to...Caleb is a fighter extraordinaire, and he has so many giving their love and healing prayers out to him...and to you.
Love,
Pam in VT
caleb is the boss of us. he has already taught us all so much more than we already knew before. whatever he decides to do will be right for him. it is us that still need to learn. it is also us that remember and feel and love and hurt... whatever the outcome. we are not alone. please don't forget..cuz, sometimes i do...i am so humbled by all of this... by all of you... mostly by caleb..and you sharyn.
p.s. didn't mean to cause such a stir with the f word the other day...sorry for all i offended.. and yes, i still have a job..
Sharyn... others above have pretty much said it all. Just please don't give up hope. Hang on. When it seems impossible, hang on some more. Caleb needs you to do that right now.
Praying for you all...
Jerry G
Sharyn,
Surrendering does not mean giving up. You have been carrying this for a long while and have every reason to be exhausted. It is ok to ease back a little and rest. The great spirit of life is there when you need it as is all the good energy we are all trying to send. Let some of that support you and Caleb for a while. You are not alone, Caleb is not alone. .
Lisa b...thanks for your apology:)
This Jewish Prayer of Healing is offered each week at our Temple. Members of our congregation quielty name those who are in their thoughts. We add Caleb's name with love and hope.
May the One who was a source of blessing for our ancestors, bring blessings of healing upon Caleb Potter, a healing of body and a healing of spirit. May those in whose care he is entrusted be gifted with wisdom and skill, and those who surround him be gifted with love and trust, openness and support in his care. And may he be healed along with all those who are in need. Blessed are You, Source of healing.
Dearest Sharyn,
You are tired, I know, as we all are of this madness. Don't give up hope. Put Caleb in God's hands and let Him take over. He will do all the work for you and let you rest. I have faith that God will take care of Caleb in His own time. We continue to pray and have faith in Caleb's recovery. We all need to be patient and stay faithful to the One who loves us.
Many blessings to Caleb and you, dear one.
Sue and kids
Hold on, we got you.
We love you.
We love you.
We love you.
You bear your soul and hang your heart and open your life to us.
YOU are so Caleb.
WE are so thankful.
Hold on, we got you.
loveandlightandwarmthandpeace
Riding the Waves
by Keri Johnson
Riding the waves of life.
of dualistic forces ever so present in our lives.
the beauty of waves is
the rise, the break, the ride, and the crash.
again becoming one with the ocean below.
Simultaneously never seperating
that connection through the surf.
Days present us with moments of polarity.
In one breath we can be riding high...
tromping through the streets of Wellfleet
covered in Pirate gear.
Only thing missing----
personal bottles of rum at 10 am.
Sword fighting, stumbling, dancing, and yelling
at all the scallywags we happen to pass.
The world before our steps.
Living life with a playful dispossition and open heart.
Smiling at all the kiddies
loving the pirate getups.
The parade ends...
but we just began.
The day lays ahead.
Endless possibilities of sunshine and shade.
Amy you happen to fall and smash yer face.
smash. smash.
Close to the same time,
we find out,
our Captain Yellowbeard takes a stumble.
Over a month later
he is still on the recovery
making each breath count.
For Sharyn, as you said...
it could be his last.
Please don't give up Caleb.
This awkward place of limbo.
wanting Caleb to pull through
but also comforting him
that if it is time to let go
he will never be alone.
he is endlessly surrounded by our love.
The love that he shared and bestowed upon us.
the compassionate soul
that continues to inspire
my day and night.
I may not be there for the
daily prayer circles at
11am and 9pm on the town green,
but my love and support has
never left your side Caleb.
It continues to support you.
Ensuring you
that which ever
direction the next step takes
is the appropriate one at the moment.
each of us will fade
into darkness.
it is what we do during
the breaths of light
that can aid that transition.
I have learned
to smile and love.
Change my lens of perception.
I will not succumb to
the role of the victim.
I will live this day with an
appreciation so overwhelming
I begin to cry.
My heart weeps because
it is so filled with
this love and appreciation.
Gratitude for the moments
that we have shared.
there is no reassurance or
definite answer
which will happen first:
tomorrow...
or the next life.
If my breath were
to leave me this night,
I share with all of you now...
I am grateful for
the laughter and the tears.
the love and the heartbreaks.
the scars and the impressions
left on my soul.
I believe I have lived my life
to the fullest,
attempting whole heartedly to maintain
an equinimity of mind
and openness of heart.
allowing the willing
to venture into
this adventure called life.
If I were to leave tonight
I say thank you for
the kisses shared,
the meals prepared,
the intellectual intercourse
and all the physical pleasures
of my days.
Knowing in the depth
of my being
that if this were the last day,
I have lived it well...
Caleb, thank you
for teaching all of us
that in order to ride the wave,
we must wait out
and endure the storms.
Enjoying the sunshine
and sea breezes
along the way.
In what ever form,
I look forward to seeing you soon.
Remembering
to smile,
play,
and always
remembering
to kiss good night.
I love you.
All of you.
Thank you.
We remember how tired you were, Sharyn, when we saw you after the parade on July 4th. You said all you wanted to do was go home and sleep.
Keeping you and Caleb in our hearts and prayers,
M & M in NYC
Even though it has been over two months I still find it hard to believe that there's anything that could keep Caleb Potter down. I feel in my heart that he will bounce back, again and again until he is back here with us. You are such an inspiration Sharyn (and the rest of the potter clan and friends), stay strong, and if you can't there's plenty of people that will be there to do it for you
Sharyn,
You have been so strong for so long. It's totally fine to feel weary, but keep believing in Caleb's strength and determination and your love for him. I keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.
Please don't give up - either of you!
With much love...
j
LOVE YOU ALL
PRAYERS TILL COMING
CANDLE STILL LIT
PEACE
what more can be added. Our thoughts are focused on you.
Sharyn, I know that this is very hard for you and the urge to just lay down and close your eyes is overwelming...but the fact is that this will not go away...and niether will Caleb! You have to stand strong and keep the faith that things are going to turn around again, and again! Life is like a revolving door, you just have to keep pushing it open, around and around. We are here for you and every ounce of hope and love from everyone on here is filtering threw Caleb to you to help you stay strong and to help him get out of this nasty slump he is in! We love you all and look foward to more progress! Fight Caleb, Fight!
Your Pirates,
Capt. Noah, Christa & Jack Jones
Wilmington, NC
The loving spirit here is just awesome in the truest sense of the word. I wait and hope and pray, I talk to my spirits, the souls of those who have gone before, and ask them to send whatever grace they have given me to Caleb, to help him.Whatever love they carry for me , send it to him and to you , my dear. You both honor us all with your sweet strength, and I wait with bated breath to hear that this crisis has been resolved.
I feel that I have somehow fallen in with the most beautiful people on this planet.
peg from PA
hu
Dearest Sharyn,
having a child is wearing your heart on the outside of your body. With our most arden hopes we think of your family.
Remind yourself that the biggest comfort for any son is to know that his mother is laying next to him feeling his pain, his breath on your cheek, even through your tears. A mother's love , there can be nothing better.
Allison and Ed
Dearest Sharyn,
Your previous words were about allowing............please allow yourself to rest. Apply the wisdom of allowing to your own tired self, and take good care. We will hold you up.
With metta,
Joan
Hi Sharyn,
So sorry that I am a couple of days late on my comment...I have been in NH for about a week.
I am so sorry to hear of Caleb. He will indeed get better though. I just know it!!! I have lost a child and survived, and if worse came to worse, I know that you'd be ok, but I do agree that loosing Caleb IS NOT AN OPTION!!!
Love you, and thinking of you LOTS,
Nicole Miner
Witha Y, Mumsie....Feel my arms around you....feel my arms surround you....and yours.
All my love,
Shelly
With a Y....Mumsie,
Feel my arms around you....
Feel my arms surround you...and yours.
You can do this....we all love you.
Caleb's name was spoken aloud this morning, followed by "Somebody Prayed For Me" and "Amazing Grace", sung with voices raised for both of you...still keeping you in our hearts in Provincetown
Caleb is in our thoughts, Sharyn, only how we're thinking of him is HEALTHY. Sending you the strange love of strangers.
xo Catherine
My prayers and thoughts are with you!!!
Oh Sharyn, Please hang on, I wish you had a Mumsie angel to take care of you and Jan, Jen, Kai, and Max right NOW! Caleb is a catalyst of love! You are the best Mumsie ever, right from the word , go. "May God hold (all) you in the palm of his hand." My prayers are unceasing. love, Andrea
Well, son, I'll tell you:
Life for me ain't been no crystal stair.
It's had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor --
Bare.
But all the time
I'se been a-climbin' on
And reachin' landin's,
And turnin' corners,
And sometimes goin' in the dark
Where there ain't been no light.
So boy, don't you turn back.
Don't you set down on the steps
'Cause you finds it's kinder hard.
Don't you fall now --
For I'se still goin', honey,
I'se still climbin',
And life for me ain't been no crystal stair.
Langston Hughes
Dont you fall Caleb, nor you Sharyn. Dont you fall. -Arozana
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