Thank God to all of you for being out there for us - you in turn make me smile, laugh, cry - but mostly you make me realize that we are never alone. Thank you.
So the temp. is rising....it is almost amusing to me that in this era of CAT Scans,Chest X-rays and MRI's there is still the age old, antiquated, full proof method that the Doctor's resort to time and time again - the process of elimination. ( I imagine the prehistoric days ...Dr. Thor talking to Dr. Ugggg - "it no chicken pox - we no have that yet..must be rash from heat - we call it something fancy like Heat Rash..charge extra dinosaur dung for keeping fire going") Well - we have a bit of that going on up here.. They have eliminated bacteria so far and are looking into the kidneys, lungs, urinary tract and so forth. I will fill you in when I know more. Meanwhile, stay tuned for more of the Caleb Potter show. And yes, I am most certainly loosing my mind - can you tell? Love, mumsie
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56 comments:
Sharyn, Thanks for the post. I have been checking since early this morning to see how Caleb was doing. Yes, docs can be like car mechanics at times---it seems like educated guesswork. But you are certainly in the best place with the best docs doing the work, so have faith.
Thinking of you, as always,
Amy
With every cloudy day we have to think of the big fat ball of sun waiting to burn through any amount of cloud coverage.
Thanks as always for taking the time to include and update all the many people who follow your journey here- so many of us you don't even know! I have been checking all morning for word. The not knowing must be so frustrating. Hang in there and remember even if you can't picure all of us- we can picture you and Caleb and are keeping you both in our thoughts always.
What's truly astonishing is that you still have a mind to lose. I know I would have been carted off long before now. We are still all here for you.
Paula and Company
Don't be afraid to use your mother's intuition about Caleb and tell the Doctors what you think it might be. The Universe is full of energy and thoughts that can be tapped into. You might even ask Caleb what he thinks it could be.
I know this sounds far out but COME ON. . . we have all finished each others sentences before and can know what someone is feeling just by being quiet and looking. . . listening. . . feeling.
Hold his hand and close your eyes. Imagine taking a trip inside his body. Sit there quiet for awhile. It may feel uncomfortable like your waiting for a specific diagnosis to pop into your head. But whatever comes through write it down and let the Doctors decide if it's hogwash AFTER YOU TELL THEM what you came up with. Let Caleb know what your intention is as your sitting there. Run your other hand just above his body slowly while eyes are closed and feel energy.
Is it stuck somewhere?. . is it hot somewhere? Do you get goose bumps? Open your eyes and see where your hand is. (don't laugh) Together you may have a funny feeling about something. This is cool stuff if you believe. Tap into your connection as mother/son/universe. Do it often and see what you come up with.
NO INTERUPTIONS. BELIEVE!!!!
xoxox,settie
Hang in there,Sharyn.
LOVE,
Nicole M.
Sharyn, You strong like bull, I'm just a little ewe in the field. Yarg Caleb. Up & Down, Up & Down, I just cannot wait until the path is sturdy and everyone can come home. Tell Caleb that I love him so much, and that I'm sorry that it sucks for him right now and to take all that frustration, push it out, and heal.JUST HEAL. I send to you my strength and love. I'd send you my patience but they are short and would probably just cause trouble. Thank you so much for keeping in touch. Such a good Mumsie.
Hugs and Kisses and a Breath of Wellfleet Air
Shannon
Sharyn, Losing your mind is a rational response to your situation. Diagnosis is still an art, not a science, though it is built on science. And those men and women at the General are the best artists we have. You have done everything possible for Caleb and we stick with you. Jack
sharyn you strong and luv much give me warm place caleb much strong and many luv i you miss i caleb argh we be home you wait luv scroge tim
Sharyn,
Your doing a FABULOUS job! Everyone should have half your mind!
Kevin
Go ahead, lose your mind, there'll be plenty of time to find it later. It's your spirit and character that will nudge you onward, and I don't think that's going anywhere!
If you find that losing your mind is an acceptable price to pay for the herculean support you offer to your Caleb, then here is perhaps a good title for your book (and maybe a little mantra):
whatever it takes
I hope many things happen today to make you smile.
Sharyn, thank you so much for keeping us all updated. My heart was so heavy when I read yesterday's post. Hang in there, know that we are all right there with you in thought and prayer. You can find your mind when things calm down.....or.....maybe you don't want to??????? Life would be easier that way. I always tell my kids I am going to fake alzheimer's just to drive them nuts....
hang in there, and try to have a great day.
I am rolling, bumping, crying, losing my mind, maybe in need on a compass(oops that is so yesterday)-in need of a GPS system, along with you--but you are right where you need to be..and follow your instincts-know you are the best advocate for your son..Judi
Sharyn, I can only imagine that if Caleb has made it this far that all will be okay.. When he recovers he might be the next Dr. AAAARGH.. @ MGH ....his advice to all the interns will be, wear red lipstick and laughter, kissing, breathing,touching and a class on erections
Also to tell them it's okay to cry!!!!!!
sending all of you, peace, thoughts & love...
i'd have lost my mind by now...your strength is overwhelming. i often wonder if i actually could deal with the same situation. i guess the answer is no since it hasn't happend to me. but please GOD...no need to test me!
i do my best in perpetuating prayer for caleb...and remind myself to expand the prayer to all those in need.
sharyn & family i FEEL you.
i notice when caleb has his biggest challenges my sleep pattern doesn't flow..so in my dream state & waking i send you all love & healing energy...
words are insufficient right now.
here's a meditation....
lisa & i celebrate our 2 year anniversary today...we have GREAT video footage of you sharyn & MANY of your boys...hold that vision. i have great picture of caleb from that day that has been on my desk top since july.
holding you gently in my heart.
xoxoxoxo...deirdre
Well, this sucks. I wish very much that you could take a break and let all of us do your worrying for you. You all must be so exhausted and I am so sorry that this is happening.
If you lose your mind for a little while we'll be there to hold on to it for you. A good cry might be a good thing and I'll be right there with you. Keep the faith and we will "will" that boy to get well. Love and lots of hugs----Penny on St.John
PS Thanks for letting us know what is what.
Oh! I have just re-routed the Pac Men!!!!!!!!!!!!
Penny
Peace, love, and strenght be with you now and always.
J
This must be a screamingly difficult time for you. The rollercoaster was never my favorite ride -- nor at the moment is it yours. Namaste.
Lesa
Oh, Sharyn... I normally read but have posted only once (summer vacationer--want to leave as tiny and respectful a footprint as possible on your community, real and cyber). But as a mother, I can't *not* post today. Sending strength and sunshine to you and Caleb on this journey back to health, joy... and home. Hang in there.
--Eve
man o man living in the moment.. and every moment so different! y'know, masters of meditation probably aren't as fully conscious as you need (and are forced) to be right now. with every breath in please breath in our love, and with every breath out, breathe it into caleb. just keep breathing! oxoxo lisa
Sharyn,
I as many others are on this roller coaster of uncertainty but I have been riding a coaster with many uncertain downs and plenty of ups and I am still fighting for myself and Caleb, I will never cease.
As for Boston, it is the best place to be and people fly from all over the world to get our North-eastern docs help. I once had an Indian princess on my floor and a Chinese embassador's son too just for our surgeons and teams of doctors they flew all the way around the world.
I have dealt with health issues my whole life, though only 23 years it has been long. But I write to you to tell you that in all of my 14 surgeries and over fifty infections I have gained what I call my gathered strength, much of it I received from my family and friends support, the rest you get from deep down in the places only a person trapped in a bed and/or in their minds can receive.
Caleb has always been untameable and courageous, but to be on the safe side I have said this many times to people around here but I am now telling you, Leb, and the boys that I am sending all of the strength I have gathered over my many years of struggle, I send it all in hopes it gives him even a little bit of what I needed/need.
As for infections I must say after so many infections that I have lost count not knowing is frustrating but they don't always need to have a name to be pushed right out of his body, we have done it before in our prayer circles, and we can do it many more times (as many as it takes).
For Caleb tell him counting helped me with my pain, the ceiling tiles, the dots on the floor, the wrinkles on my fathers hands, the clouds, or thinking of the rolling sets of waves that I know I missed the most and I know you must both miss tremendously. I was wondering if you have tried listening to music or reading a book for you, and/or aloud to Leb. It often calmed my nerves and allows you the reader/listener to adventure to anywhere you desire, anywhere and everywhere the human mind can go. Remember to breath, appreciate, and let your mind wonder to beautiful places and your strength will be renewed.
Even though the world keeps going while you are in those walls hundreds of people are here with you everyday every hour wishing all of you the best we possibly can.
You should try asking the doctors about testing for staff infection, or even MRSA (many times it can be overlooked) which can be treated with Vancomiasin (if they haven't already).
To cry is natural, you are hurting and tears can release pent up stress, anger, and fear; you are his mother and your job is one of the most difficult situations a parent can face.
We all strongly believe in due time he will break these barriers and come sailing home on his boat of dignity. We miss both of you as well as your company immensely, and all eagerly await the chance to welcome our pirate to the low tides and sunshine we call home (Our dear Cape Cod). Make sure to tell him we all can't wait to have him watching us all dance from the stage with Evan spinning music beside him at the beachcomber again. For many of us that was the last place any of us saw him pre-accident so it is often the memories we revert back to. You all have strength that should be admired and we should all try to replicate it daily.
I will also be sending a letter with a few pieces of my poetry as well as some pics from my sister's and Tyler's wedding; we got some fabulous pics of your boys and everyone. My family and I send tons and tons of love, support, and care and not forgetting plenty of lipstick kisses and warm tender hugs.
PS from a writer to a should be writer of at least a book if not more, I would love to help you (if you would like any assistance) because I think you are an amazing and whitty writer and everyone would be spellbound reading all of your stories of past, present, and future. I love your outlooks and through Caleb and all of you many lives have changed, petty trivial things are just that, you guys sure put real in reality. XOXOXO
To the many who diligently read this blog the most important things to remember is to always love and that nobody should ever take their health for granted, everything can always be worse.
(Sorry for the novel I did not mean for it to be so long but I had a lot to say)
Settie said it for me. Kevin,too.
Now I will be as quiet as I can be and send it out to Caleb.
From, Post Meno
sharyn,i luv you ,but i really want to send this to eve.please rember that our footprints on the beach all run together.as people we all must share the same paths.your respect is honorable,but yor thoughts and prayers are required.do not fear the stepping on toes,you must never have danced with sharyn and the disco ball and strobelights.sending love to the lebster.
...no, you're not losing your mind, and I hope you can let yourself cry. Thinking of you and yours, as always, and hoping you can continue to find the strength to endure and to be well
Mom in CT
This absolutely does suck - I am so sorry that you are going through this!!!! Hang in there - we are ALL "here" for you - my candle with the Wellfleet shells is burning all the time that I'm home for you and your pirate. Don't lose faith!
Love, Mom from CT
I'm going with Settie on this one...all that she said resonates with me and my feelings on this whole thing. Hold his feet and imagine all the bad stuff leaving him and beautiful, healing white light filling him up....I too am thankful that you take the time to let us know how things are going up there. We really are all with you all of the time. You are the bestest mumsie ever, and you deserve good things to come of all of this. (penny, you are not a "mumsie", but a "mum", so don't take that one personally!! :)) I was working at Kia Ora today and everytime I went outside I looked to the flag on Uncle Tim's and sent my heart to you all up there. I have noticed that I am never out of sight of a pirate flag....it is a good 'ting. As always, I light my candles before bed and hope tomarrow brings you a strong healthy caleb and peace of mind. amystj xoxoxo
Many people feel like they have lost their minds for a while especially under what you've got going on. In fact I've been looking for mine today, so if you find it before I do, feel free to borrow it for a bit. :D
Every good roller-coaster has lots of ups and downs until it come smoothly back into the station.
You've got alot of people riding along with you sending good thoughts.
Sharyn,
You are such a positive light with or without your mind-----my heart goes out to you and as always you, Jan, Caleb, Kai & Max are constantly on my prayers. Better news on the horizon. Margie
Dear Sharyn, You are the best Mumsie on Earth. My prayers are unceasing for you all. Love, Andrea
I, as Eve mentioned above, am one of the many who don't personally know Caleb and company but yet feel so compelled to read and write(once!)this blog. Sharyn, your strength is an inspiration to all of us and that fact that you can even form a coherent sentence, never mind a beautifully written narrative, is nothing short of miraculous. Remember that strength doesn't mean not showing your weakness! Keeping you and yours in my thoughts. Melissa
Bruce Springsteen said "Faith will be rewarded"...I believe that. Keep your head up and take care of yourself to be strong for Caleb.
There are many fans praying for Caleb this night.
It would be a shame to loose that wonderful mind of yours, dear Sharyn. I know some super talented man who sound a bit like a lady once said "baby, it ain't over till ots over". Funny that silly phrase iswhat comes to mind right now, but perhaps we're ALL going crazy at the same time. Caleb is going to be blessed with happy endings and your and jan's struggle will be history. Yes history is taking place right now, in caleb's room full of love. This is a time to reflect on the good times that have passed and look forward to the lovely things yet to come. My strength is with you and Caleb. He is a warrior, a survivor and an inspiration. He shall prevail with the power and love from his beloved Wellfleet and beyond!
Srength & Blessings~ xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Dear Sharyn - My favorite place in Boston is the Isabella Stewart Gardiner Museum next to Simmons College. There is a beautiful interior piazza that is always festooned with a spectacular variety of plants and flowers.
I love Steves Greek I believe on Exeter Street off Newbury, but somebody correct me out there in blog land if I messed up on the location.
In the Public garden you can find the ducklings from the book "Make Way for Ducklings" by McCloskey, who also wrote "Blueberries for Sal."
Thank you again for helping us all keep the faith for Caleb.
Bev Fromm Vermont
Sharyn,
As a part time vacationer in your lovely town, my family and I have been deeply moved by the overwhelming outpouring of love for all of you by the community. I check the website every morning with bated breath, willing Caleb health and the rest of you respite.
Thank you for your vivid description of Caleb. He sounds so vital and spontaneous and sometimes maybe more than a handful. I think my youngest son and he could have partied together. Maybe they will someday.
In lieu of the shoulder I would happily lend, please know that the countless prayers and positive thoughts sent your way can do as much as any doctor can; and I hope you can feel supported by the cocoon of well wishes. Jackie
Sharyn,
I remember that my son's pediatrician once told me that mother's have a sixth sense when it comes to their children...so don't hesitate to tell the doctors what you think! If you have a feeling about something...go with it, let them know. You continue to be in our thoughts and prayers!
p.s. Tell Caleb we send him a big ARRRRRRRRRRRR from Miami!
We went to P-town and Wellfleet 2 weeks ago. We hadn't heard anything at all about Caleb, but Googled when we got back to our home south of Boston. I check on you all day everyday, Caleb. We think of you constantly and hope that you and all of your family are getting better every day.
Come on, Yellowbeard, you can do it! Stay strong-
m
xoxo
p.s. Arrrrggghh!
Fever is the body's way of fighting germs. It is a defense mechanism. Think of how quickly your children's fevers went up and down when they were young...this one could break at any minute. I have my fingers crossed.
Suzanne
I felt a cleaving in my mind-
As if my brain had split-
I tried to match it- seem by seem-
But could not make them fit.
The thought behind, I strove to join
Unto the thought before-
But sequence ravelled out of Sound-
Like balls-upon a floor.
Sharyn,
I don't know what demons Emily Dickinson was battling when she penned this but I think it expresses what you must be feeling.
the body has an incredible way of protecting us from pain (emotional and physical)and if loosing a bit of your mind is your way of dealing with the pain- then go with it-don't fight it...healing thoughts to you...
Dear Mumsie...You are in good company on this one! A brilliant mind is a terrible thing to loose, though it happens quite frequently to the best of us, and the least....So let go girlfriend. You'll find center again. Trust me.
Sharyn, is the Reiki Master still around (the one who was working on Caleb's eye earlier)? With all the wonderful "energetic" suggestions being made, and folks doing "energetic" work on Caleb, I figured it could only be of benefit. Good recommendations from Settie....use your own intuition, grace, energy and warmth to help the situation. Your energy will be so welcomed by your Caleb.....what better gift to give your boy....sharing a piece of yourself in this way. Try it, you'll like it....it's truly amazing.
Blessings to you both this night,
Melinda
Just wanted to add my thoughts to the thousands that are sent your way every day, every moment, in support and love for a remarkable young man. Peace, strength, support, love, faith........not just empty words, but true blessings. If love can heal him, he will be strong and whole again!
South Shore Mom
Sharyn,
Don't know what to write? Tears are streaming down my cheek as I read your words. But I'm sending lot's of healing thoughts, Love and a big hug from me to you and Caleb.
Eva
Sharyn, Suzanne is right. Fever is a natural way for the body to fight infection and heal. It means Caleb's body is doing what it is supposed to do to fight the bug (whatever it is). The doctors will figure out it out but right now Caleb's little "Pac Men" are working overtime and overheated.I think it is a good sign. Love, Susanna
to everyone and all there is luv brewing in big vats of fleetian mud honey.low tide if you don't know what is down.a poet once wrote that it takes a village to raise a child,well in fleet it's a little diffrent.we were taught by a young man named jessie that a child can instill confidence in all who fear for him,can resist odds that make vegas seem like dollywood,and breathe life into old farts who would just as soon get fat and talk about the old days than run head long into the culture they themselves created.so proud of all the fleet families who run ahead and don't look back(unless you dropped your child or wallet)this blog is a prayer circle,it is mine,it is yours,it is ours,no matter who you are,where you come from,we welcome your heart,your soul,and your strength.we are in need of it all.don't be scared,be prepared to fight,and don't forget to luv those that are close to you,especialy those who you know not.caleb luv,sharyn rest,caleb strong,kai ease,caleb happy,jan centered,caleb peaceful,max driven,caleb loving,spud woofing,caleb cackeling at the top of his lungs as only his mom or him or aparrot from costa can do,buff learning how to open the screen door by himself,most of all you all and love,spead it,share it,make it if you have to,but do not abandon it,it is what we are and what we were made for.
Caleb's body is fighting back in the most elemental way, and that shows a strength of will that will surely carry him through to a healing place.
Don't worry about your mind I lost mine a long time ago, and I am just fine.......Sending thoughts of good health and happiness your way, as always.
peg from PA
p.s thank you to all the staff(not infection) at mgh and spaulding and cape cod hospital and wellfleet fire and rescue.your everyday tasks are huge,and often go overlooked.you are not forgotten.
Sharyn, I feel like I know you and Caleb. I follow the blog every day. You are a remarkable person to be able to write in the blog each day. My thoughts are with you and Caleb. This has to be the last setback...forward from now on.
Peggy from Western Ma.
sharyn this is my first post -- i sent it to cyberspace somewhere -- i am and have been thinking of all of you and sending positive thoughts, a former fleetian
Just heard about all of this in South Carolina. What beautiful community support and what a great family! We will focus our thoughts on you all. God bless you.
dear sharyn...
big astrology going on this morning...as we enter a new moon in virgo with a partial solar eclipse...we have also passed through the last full moon with a full lunar eclipse...
many changes a foot...the planets/cosmos is playing with us all...caleb is not exempt...
this is a good time for prayer...as the grid of earth and sky are wide open...
this moon is about relationship and healing...eclipses are powerful change mechanisms.
also something has been on my mind for some time..
in many shamanic traditions..tribal traditions etc...
if one of the tribe has suffered a serious injury...it is well known that the healing and understanding of the one injured to him/herself is assisted by either returning that one to the scene of the injury or somehow conjuring that memory of energetic space..so the one can gather themselves up.
to have such an impact to the body...our many bodies split from the one...and oft times some of them are energetically left behind..and it is beneficial to have them gathered up and reintegrated into the one body...
use this info as you will....mumsie...and many many thanks for your continued communing with us all....
holding you and caleb gently in love and light
es
Sharyn,
Peter and I have been following your journey and pray for brighter days ahead. You are doing a magnificent job being a mom right now...I can't think of anyone who does it better.
You know I'm in Boston a lot. Please let me take you out for a walk and a meal whenever you're up to it. Call me at either number:
781-878-5214 or 781-987-1055. Don't hesitate. I promise I won't talk about the red skimpy raincoat dress we poured you into in P-town many years ago.
With love and positive energy for Caleb's full recovery...
Elizabeth
Sharyn...
Its all good, you may be going a wee whacky in Beantown, but it's not much different than any other day in your life with your boys, and the rest of us beside you, slamming the screen door, raging in your yard, and planning some type of revenge on you for throwing cake at us.. you are completely entitled to lose it.. back then, today, & any other day, you're you, and we are grateful!
I am holding yours, and mine closer than ever, each day growing more and more thankful for those who are in my life.. near or far.. these are the times we need to reflect upon who we are now, not who we were.. thanks for always making each and every one of us welcome into your family. I sincerely can't imagine my life without you, because you are a HUGE part of who I am..
XO..Ms. Clance
Yep...fevers are good because they burn out all the bad stuff. calebs trying to get his body back from all those creepy bacteria...jerks. He will be fine....he has to much love around not too be. that is just the way it is. here we are.
"most of all, you all and...... LOVE,spread it,share it,make it if you have to,but do not abandon it,it is what we are and what we were made for."
do I hear an echo HERE??? Thank you to September 11th 2007...3:03am "anonymous" for yr incredible Power words...about WHAT IS GOIN" down/UP....goin' ON!!!.........a little bit o' history...a little bit of NOW....and Lots of LOVE....thanks for celebrating and encouraging the entire Circle of who is HERE NOW...and is on board with Caleb for "the ride of his/our LIFE/lives"...
'tis VERY powerful, folks.....thanks for all that you ALL contribute...here...at THE circle...and from wherever you're breathing IN ....and Out.... In and Out.....
and a quick note to "es"....this morning's "astrologer/shaman"....these things are often Out of our Hands...as long as we remember the Power IN our hands.....for anyone who may have missed it....SCROLL back to **Sunday Matinee**on his blog....August 19th....and watch Part One of the YouTube video that Kai and Weeks and Shaye and others put together....and you will see Kai....bend down ---at the spot---WITH HIS HAND on the Earth...of IMPACT...and thru the Power of digital electrons....that JUICE is looping to Boss-town and Back....you,"es" have described what we all may have seen when first we viewed it.....but your words help to make it all ...more clearly seen/scene.....we all pray/drum/circle/hope...for the day ....soon.... when Caleb can make that LOOP for himself....here in Fleet....blessed be....light!ly....ch/dad
catching up on days of past blogs makes me laugh and cry and laugh and cry again. wow!!! i am in front of my computer, sending my love through the lines to you and caleb and caleb's brain and all his organs and systems, and to the doctors and nurses that they might figure it out and fix it right now.
i started nursing school this week. and i only wish i was done already so i could be there with you. (and get a beaded bracelet that i'm sure every nurse on the floor will covet!)
your enlightened words about space and time and knowing and loving yourself are so inspiring. we are all one giant circle of joy and suffering and love and hope and pain. and it comes out from you at the hospital through the lines to us and we cycle it through ourselves filter it, and nourish it and send it back, continuously. without ending.
i feel you. so strongly. and i love you all.
Sharyn, sending tons of prayers and good energy from los angeles! no rain here in months. keep the faith. you don't know me but i feel like family. my family in wellfleet led me to caleb and your family.
peace, donna in LA
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