I am so sorry that it took me so long to post these pictures. Before I take pictures of Caleb, I always asked him if it is okay and I actually think he enjoys these little photo shoots. He has always been a ham infront of a camera. After, he likes to flip through the pictures on my camera and check them out for himself. I will bring my camera up with me when I visit him, and update everyone with pictures when possible.
Snuggle Time!!!
Kisses on the cheek!!!
Caleb and Mumsie on the Charles River
Is he not the cutest thing ever!!!
Having lunch outside and trying to get Caleb to smile.
Mumsie (still beautiful as always) , and Caleb (giving the "jag" sign)
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Big Brother, as told by younger brother.
Ill introduce myself as Calebs little brother, the middle son of the three, my name is Kai. I want to start by telling everyone that yesterday and today Caleb has shown us some amazing things. We were all outside and we asked him if he wanted to try walking, he said yes, and so we spent most of the rest of the day walking around, sitting on benches and sidewalks and having really good, clear communications. by nighttime, Caleb was pretty worn out but would not go to sleep. Mom and I sat with him trying to convince him to sleep and I found myself continually having to turn my head away, but not to hide tears as before, but to keep from laughing out loud and encouraging Caleb- he wouldnt stop doing things to make me laugh. Thats pretty much how its always been with us. Then, finally when we thought he was asleep, he grabbed a cold wet rag and threw it at my face, thats also how its pretty much always been. Caleb has always done this sort of thing to me. I remember when I was about eleven years old and mom, in one of her madly spontaneous acts, had decided to take us all on a cross country trip in a crusty, rotten old van that someone had given to her. This van was at the point where it should have been considred "yard art"; something thats sits there and grows wild flowers and weeds on and around it- not something you pack 4 kids into and set out on a four thousand mile journey and expect to make it home in. Anyway, we were in some far away nameless little town at a campground that our van had conviniently broken down next to and we we were all having a swim in the pool. Someone realized that this little girl had pooped in the pool so we all came running out and went to the showers to wash off. We were wrapped in towels and walking back to our campsite, and in true Caleb fashion, he reached over and ripped off my towel and took off running. I ran naked all the way back to our site, followed by the screeching laughter of about two hundred other campers. For the rest of our stay there, I was "that naked kid". So now, at the hospital, he is still doing things like this. About a month ago, a nurse handed him a magazine, he rolled it up and smacked me in the face with it. then, I was lying in his bed with him, looking at a mirror, and he extends that long pointy finger toward my reflection and then puts it to his neck and drags it across - ear to ear. this is right after he gave me the finger. Yesterday, I gave him the thumbs up, he grabbed my thumb and twisted it a little, making a snapping noise with his mouth and then giving a little smile. Then last night there was the whole wet rag to the face thing. Caleb is doing well, he is still giving me hell, beating on me, harassing me and being a constant symbol of abuse- just like a big brother is supposed to. But then, at the end of the night, when mom and I were finally getting him to sleep, I lay my head down on his chest and told him how much I love him. I felt the loving hand of a big brother reach up and rub my head softly, as if putting me to sleep, reassuring me that he is right there and that he will always look out for me, and make sure I am ok, and give me confidence and strength when I am weak or scared, or tell me where to go if Im ever lost- to be a constant symbol of strength - just as a big brother is supposed to.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Von Lindsay
Hello again - I love this guest bloggin thing... for those of you who want to understand just who Lisa is-and what she means to the community, take all the wonderful things said on the blog, times that , let's say by about 100 and maybe you get close to just how cool she is!
Handing Caleb a newly purchased chalk board proved interesting...When asked to write our
names, he wrote -- Caleb Von Potter, moms name is Sharyn Von Lindsay, Kai Von Potter, Max Von Potter. I actually like the Von and would ask that all of you address us as such in the future. Language is still in there, he is just having a difficult time transferring that to speech..
Leb has a great room mate who speaks Creole and who now calls me mum as well. Glad Lisa can speak Creole cause Caleb might come out of here speaking Creinglish.
Kai arrived last evening. From the time he was little till now, we are joined at the hip. He is by no means a mommas boy. He is independent, smart as a whip, accomplished and just about everything I ever wanted to be. We share spirituality and a similar outlook on life and I sometimes just forget that we are mother/son. We are completely honest with one another and can talk about anything. Mostly we talk about Caleb. We lay out our fears, our hopes, our tears, our laughter and my spirits are lifted just by being in his presence. Max will arrive today. He is the drop dead handsome, steady and quiet one. Great bass guitar player and beautify voice. We always say that Max doesn't say much - but like that perfume advertisement, when he whispers, people pay attention! I want to introduce you to yet another son- not legitimate nor illegitimate .. just another son named Tim. We call him Timalah. Tim has been by my side through all of this ordeal also - he walks our beloved dog, Spudly each night after he returns from a long day at work, feeds the cat and keeps Max company while I have to be away. He travels with us - eats all my holiday meals and loves the shirts I buy him for Christmas. Thank you Tim. I feel better knowing I have two sons at home!
Sharyn Von Lindsay is taking an hour off for a facial ( compliments of Suzie B. thank you) and then the entire Potter clan is joining me for an outing to the Science museum.
We are trying to keep life as normal as is possible in this situation . We tell stories, poke fun, laugh and hold each other up. Family is the sacred breath that we inhale each day and breathe out with a sigh of relief- Caleb is still with us and he will prevail. Love, mumsie
Handing Caleb a newly purchased chalk board proved interesting...When asked to write our
names, he wrote -- Caleb Von Potter, moms name is Sharyn Von Lindsay, Kai Von Potter, Max Von Potter. I actually like the Von and would ask that all of you address us as such in the future. Language is still in there, he is just having a difficult time transferring that to speech..
Leb has a great room mate who speaks Creole and who now calls me mum as well. Glad Lisa can speak Creole cause Caleb might come out of here speaking Creinglish.
Kai arrived last evening. From the time he was little till now, we are joined at the hip. He is by no means a mommas boy. He is independent, smart as a whip, accomplished and just about everything I ever wanted to be. We share spirituality and a similar outlook on life and I sometimes just forget that we are mother/son. We are completely honest with one another and can talk about anything. Mostly we talk about Caleb. We lay out our fears, our hopes, our tears, our laughter and my spirits are lifted just by being in his presence. Max will arrive today. He is the drop dead handsome, steady and quiet one. Great bass guitar player and beautify voice. We always say that Max doesn't say much - but like that perfume advertisement, when he whispers, people pay attention! I want to introduce you to yet another son- not legitimate nor illegitimate .. just another son named Tim. We call him Timalah. Tim has been by my side through all of this ordeal also - he walks our beloved dog, Spudly each night after he returns from a long day at work, feeds the cat and keeps Max company while I have to be away. He travels with us - eats all my holiday meals and loves the shirts I buy him for Christmas. Thank you Tim. I feel better knowing I have two sons at home!
Sharyn Von Lindsay is taking an hour off for a facial ( compliments of Suzie B. thank you) and then the entire Potter clan is joining me for an outing to the Science museum.
We are trying to keep life as normal as is possible in this situation . We tell stories, poke fun, laugh and hold each other up. Family is the sacred breath that we inhale each day and breathe out with a sigh of relief- Caleb is still with us and he will prevail. Love, mumsie
Friday, September 28, 2007
Big & Little Slices
Hi everyone, Lisa B here (that's me on the left with Dakota in the middle and Deirdre on the right) to give respite to Sharyn and to share with you a little slice of Wellfleet and a big slice of Caleb…well, here goes….
I’ve known the Potter/Lindsay Clan for as long as they have been in Wellfleet, and one of my first recollections of Caleb was when he was a skunk in the Halloween parade while he was so tiny. I remember he fit into Sharyn’s arms like this furry little puppet, and he smelled like a skunk by the end of the parade because he had pooped his pants!
I owned a restaurant once called the Flying Fish from 1990 to 2000, and in that time had almost every kid work with me in the Fleet bustin’ suds, or prep cooking, or on the line, and Caleb was no exception. And he was a prankster! We had the world’s smallest dishwasher working for us this one summer, and Caleb and Jonah (Shaye’s bro) convinced this kid to climb into the laundry bag and when the Acme laundry guy came to pick up the bags, he jumped back and screamed when the bag started to writhe and wiggle. Afterward, Caleb offered to buy him breakfast, and apologized for laughing so hard. That guy talked about that for years! On another note, when Jesse was working at the Fish, just 4 months before he died at 19 of cancer, Caleb was so tightly in that kid’s pocket, helping him just keep on keepin’ on. What a tough time that was, and how humbled I was to be just a little adult corner of the kid fabric that held these growing Fleetmates together.
I currently teach at Nauset Regional High School right next door in Eastham. It’s where I graduated from, and where Fleet kids go to school. I teach World Music, and the second year of class I had Mike D, Caleb, Bags (Caleb P), Sky And Casey S in my class…all Fleetsters. We started what is now the Nauset World Music Ensemble, and our first big concert was the first annual Clothesline Concert where a few hundred people showed up at the high school for this fundraiser.
Now, none of these kids were “professional”. in fact, most had never really performed in front of this many people (well, maybe Sky had). We were supposed to fill about 15 minutes of the evening, and because everything we did was original, needless to say we had about 10 minutes of stuff, even including the cool thing Sky danced to, which she stretched as much as she could. Caleb, Bags and Mike ASSURED me that they could fill the other 5 minutes, 2 minutes before we went on. Ever have one of those moments when your career flashes before your eyes? When you know that the kids think they got it all goin’ on, and you are afraid because they grew up in Fleet…and…well…maybe etiquette is a little…uh… different here than in the real world, that perhaps you really won’t see a job in your foreseeable future after what was about to unfold? GULP. Just trust them (I whispered ferverently to myself). Okay. We go on. I introduce. The Ensemble plays, Sky dances…and… the three boys start in on this clap thing, hitting their bodies, their heads, their thighs, beating their chests to this crazy beat & rhythmically pounding each other like a Stomp / Blue Man Group gone haywire! Then Caleb starts that jig..y’know... THE jig with arms and knees and elbows a’flappin’..?
OHMYGOD they brought the house down!
The moral of the story? If you want laughs, love, tenderness, compassion, and general hijinx, well..it’s definitely alive and well in Wellfleet. It is where we get to bump into each other and bump dysfunctionally into ourselves in a BIG way. And soon again we get to bump into Caleb too….I love you guys.
Lisa
p.s. At 5:30 today whoever wants to help move the circle 3 feet to the cannon, we will see you there!
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Hornet nest
Geeeeez- look what happens when mum steps out -we got a hornet's nest stirred up! Judith is always full of mischief- we once had a water fight that started in my yard and quickly moved into the house (the water source) and ended with Judith pouring pitcher's full of water over my head! Never mind that the builder had just left at five with newly sanded floors and precautionary words... " whatever you do, keep water off the floor". Those few buckled boards are my favorites in the house.
Today I walked into Caleb's room - he was dressed in a new contraption which zips up the back and ties him into bed.. seems the boy decided he could get out of bed last night (Max and Kai called this one) and he ended up sitting on the floor till the nurse discovered him. When I asked him this morn if he was trying to get to the bathroom he shook his head no and said - "town hall"! Well now - do we think the prayer circles are working? He has moments of clarity like this and it is so reassuring.
Next week we are cleared for outdoor recreation - so the Lebster and I will be rowing on the Charles with the rest of the crew. I can visualize more water fights in our near future!
On the flip side ( seems there is always one) Caleb has been vomiting after each meal and that points to signs of Gallbladder stress..perhaps another trip to MGH for yet another surgery...we find out tomorrow. I just spoke to his doc who is an acupuncturist as well as a traditional practitioner and I gave him the OK to work his magic with Caleb to see if we can get his energy flowing in a less invasive, medical way.
There is a friend who lives down the road from us who is now confined to a wheel chair. She was always a very vibrant woman, but somehow she is more vibrant since her disease has caused her this immobility. She pauses to hear the birds, she loves her flowers and she has kind, encouraging words for all who pass through her door. When I am low, I think about her and try to focus on all the good. Caleb and I sat outside this morn and with our eyes closed, hands locked, imagining that we were once again on the beach of Costa, side by side, sun on our faces, birds in the trees, warm sand on our feet. Just together as we are now. As we returned we passes a wagon with 3 little boys and I said a mother's silent prayer.. God bless you and keep you safe.
I am so appreciative of the guest blogger spots which allowed me a bit of time to step away and concentrate on Caleb. It backfired in a way and I became seriously depressed. Perhaps too much time to think too many thoughts. This is a necessary step along this healing path and thank God for Kai and Max and my dear friend Donald who walked me through. At times you just want a giant bottle of white out to dab on the mistakes so you can start over with the way it was meant to be.
I am on the mend and Caleb is doing fine! Love, mumsie
Today I walked into Caleb's room - he was dressed in a new contraption which zips up the back and ties him into bed.. seems the boy decided he could get out of bed last night (Max and Kai called this one) and he ended up sitting on the floor till the nurse discovered him. When I asked him this morn if he was trying to get to the bathroom he shook his head no and said - "town hall"! Well now - do we think the prayer circles are working? He has moments of clarity like this and it is so reassuring.
Next week we are cleared for outdoor recreation - so the Lebster and I will be rowing on the Charles with the rest of the crew. I can visualize more water fights in our near future!
On the flip side ( seems there is always one) Caleb has been vomiting after each meal and that points to signs of Gallbladder stress..perhaps another trip to MGH for yet another surgery...we find out tomorrow. I just spoke to his doc who is an acupuncturist as well as a traditional practitioner and I gave him the OK to work his magic with Caleb to see if we can get his energy flowing in a less invasive, medical way.
There is a friend who lives down the road from us who is now confined to a wheel chair. She was always a very vibrant woman, but somehow she is more vibrant since her disease has caused her this immobility. She pauses to hear the birds, she loves her flowers and she has kind, encouraging words for all who pass through her door. When I am low, I think about her and try to focus on all the good. Caleb and I sat outside this morn and with our eyes closed, hands locked, imagining that we were once again on the beach of Costa, side by side, sun on our faces, birds in the trees, warm sand on our feet. Just together as we are now. As we returned we passes a wagon with 3 little boys and I said a mother's silent prayer.. God bless you and keep you safe.
I am so appreciative of the guest blogger spots which allowed me a bit of time to step away and concentrate on Caleb. It backfired in a way and I became seriously depressed. Perhaps too much time to think too many thoughts. This is a necessary step along this healing path and thank God for Kai and Max and my dear friend Donald who walked me through. At times you just want a giant bottle of white out to dab on the mistakes so you can start over with the way it was meant to be.
I am on the mend and Caleb is doing fine! Love, mumsie
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Guest Blog #2: Judith a.k.a. "Chris Miner"
Hello everyone! I was asked by sharon, or the crazy lady as I like to call her, to tell you a little bit about Caleb. So here I am. I am one of the lads close friends. I pondered what to say to everyone for quite a while, so here goes.
I live in Wellfleet with my wonderful family, Nicole my awesome wife always by my side, and my son Caleb who is just like the lad in every way. If you are wondering it is not a coincidence, he got his name from the lad. My son though because of the confusion of both their names being Caleb, we then renamed caleb potter to: "Uncle Poop." It fits perfect. I, like the lad, am a local fisherman and modern day pirate.
Enough about me, I would like to help you fill in the puzzle pieces so maybe you can see a little more of the big picture. Caleb is wonderful, friendly, calm, kind natured, helpful, and respectful. The best kind of friend a guy could have. Always the center of attention where ever he might be. I am proud to be a pirate on the best ship in the world, with yellowbeard at the helm.
Caleb has done so much for me that if I listed everything, you would be reading for days. He is the type of guy that if you called him at 2 a.m. because you needed help(which I have). He would be there in 5 minutes. Or maybe he would just sit and listen when I need to vent. Or just a kind hug, and a glance with the simple words, "What's up Judi?" is enough to put a smile on my face. He is just about the best wing man a guy could have. He is truly one of a kind.
Days before the accident my mother called me to tell me that; Caleb had driven down to the trailer park to see jenny's family. Yet the Wellfleet road race was blocking their exit. Caleb always remembering every little road in Wellfleet, rememberd the driving path to town. The path, though, goes right through my mother's front lawn. Instead of just flying through her yard, and escaping. He stopped walked up to the front door and rang the doorbell. Patiently waiting for approval. My stepfather answered the door and caleb then stated, "I am friends with Chris and I was wondering if I might be able to drive through?" My stepfather then replied, "No one has ever asked for permission, you can drive through anytime you want." This is caleb every minute of every day of every year. Kind and respectful and always thinking of others before himself, and usually charming the pants off of anyone he comes in contact with.
I am proud to be friends with the lad. There is no doubt in my mind he will return as the Yellowbeard he truly is. If Karma has anything to do with it then this kids got enough good will for 2 lifetimes. Keep praying for Caleb Potter. I also want to thank anyone that is involved in the massive Caleb Potter Campaign. From the benefits, to his grant, to the bloggers keeping sharon occupied, I say "THANK YOU."
Much Love
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
girlfriend update!!!
So this is my guest appeatance for the week. Like I said last week, Sharyn asks me to write in the blog when I come to see Caleb on Mondays and Tuesdays. Just for a reminder, I'm Jennie, Caleb's girlfriend. Caleb is back at Spaulding Rehab as all of you know, and going well. He is back in therapy and has all the same PT, OT and ST ( which are his three different therapies he goes through during the week.) I was told that all his therapists asked to have him again and fought for him as a patient, because they enjoying seeing his improvements and love his personality. Yesterday, Sharyn and I stole Caleb and brought him outside to feel the breeze and look at the ocean and the boats. We then tried to feed the geese with our bagels, but Caleb was hungry so he ate it instead. Then he grabbed my gatorade ( if you know Caleb, you know he loves gatorade) and drank some of it and handed it back to me. Since he was obviously hungry, we brought him back to his room for dinner. He ate almost his whole dinner, which included pasta, soup, bread and some vegtables. While he was eating dinner, he was getting food on his fingers, and he was licking the food off his fingers. For some reason it was the cutuest thing ever...funny how the littlest things make me so excited when I am around Caleb. He got his IV taking out yesterday, which is so exciting. This wasnt any IV, this was a PIC line, and when the doctor was pulling it out, it looked like a bird pulling out a worm from a tree hole. But Caleb is a fighter, and he just watched and wanted to assist the doctor. If he continues to eat three meals a day, drink enough water and get enough calories, his feeding tube will be removed within the next couple days. This is the last tube he has in him, so that is very exciting. Caleb will be "tube free". Yesterday, we were able to snuggle and take a nap together. I fit perfect right next to him, and he brought his arm up and ran his fingers through my hair like he used to. So when people ask me if Caleb recognizes me...Yes, he definitly remembers me and I know that by the way he acts and the little things that he does. I have pictures that I will be uploading when I get home. So Check back later to see some recent pictures of Caleb.
.....I put this computer on Caleb's lap, and told him to write whatever he wanted. SO this is what he typed...."what the hell is that undergrouned Maax " and " hiiiiii peeps its the rockbar hanging with the eal ." he got alittle tired because he just had physical therapy, so I think that is why he didnt finish.
Caleb wantes to go wheel around in the hall so I have to go now. love you all and thank u again for your thoughts and supports.
-love jennie
.....I put this computer on Caleb's lap, and told him to write whatever he wanted. SO this is what he typed...."what the hell is that undergrouned Maax " and " hiiiiii peeps its the rockbar hanging with the eal ." he got alittle tired because he just had physical therapy, so I think that is why he didnt finish.
Caleb wantes to go wheel around in the hall so I have to go now. love you all and thank u again for your thoughts and supports.
-love jennie
Monday, September 24, 2007
Measuring beam
Dear Sky,
How many times have I told you to always do your very best, but only to the point where you don't outshine me - tisk tisk - your blog entry was spectacular! (Is there any wonder why Sky always calls me bad mom)?
I too look forward to the other bloggers - we have quite a line up already. This affords me a break and I think you will gain some insight into our lives and our community as seen through eyes, other than mine.
I want to backtrack a bit and clear up two things - one is that when I say Caleb is walking, I mean tiny little, perhaps only 3 steps kinda walking. I forget that you cannot visualize what he is doing unless I am very descriptive..the important thing is that all limbs have movement and the possibilities are endless.
The second is that back a few blogs, Nicole commented on how well Jan and I do together in this process of parenting.. I want for all of you to know that we too are a dysfunctional family just like any other family out there. I am, in this process of healing with Caleb, trying to heal myself and I wish to address truth. The function of a family member, as I see it, is to be a sounding board, to love unconditionally and to have as your bottom line the secure feeling that no matter how low things are - family will stand beside you, hold you up and see you clearly and perhaps differently than anyone else will. We too as a family have had our troubles. Not a single one of us is without our faults ( tho granted, I have very few) and we have had a lot of bumps and bruises along the way. When Caleb was hurt, along with our hurt came the clear realization that we were a real family. I am so proud of my two sons who are loving big and of Jan who is wearing his heart on his sleeve, of Aunt Carol who has ever-ready batteries just like that bunny. And now I have an even bigger family out there who just does not quit--thank you.
Today begins a long journey for the Lebster. He is up to the task. The schedule is arduous. He now has to feed himself, dress himself, wash himself, get up and walk when he is exhausted. He is forced and he is force!
Kai says to me at dinner as we are unsuccessfully trying to piece together the fog of the days following Caleb's accident, that he believes he read somewhere that the triangle is the strongest architectural shape; therefore Caleb must get better. Caleb, Kai and Max-the three sides to our triangle - there is no other way. I say--
Adversity forces one of two choices...you either quit or you grow. I can't wait to measure all of us on the beam in the kitchen once again. Love, mumsie
How many times have I told you to always do your very best, but only to the point where you don't outshine me - tisk tisk - your blog entry was spectacular! (Is there any wonder why Sky always calls me bad mom)?
I too look forward to the other bloggers - we have quite a line up already. This affords me a break and I think you will gain some insight into our lives and our community as seen through eyes, other than mine.
I want to backtrack a bit and clear up two things - one is that when I say Caleb is walking, I mean tiny little, perhaps only 3 steps kinda walking. I forget that you cannot visualize what he is doing unless I am very descriptive..the important thing is that all limbs have movement and the possibilities are endless.
The second is that back a few blogs, Nicole commented on how well Jan and I do together in this process of parenting.. I want for all of you to know that we too are a dysfunctional family just like any other family out there. I am, in this process of healing with Caleb, trying to heal myself and I wish to address truth. The function of a family member, as I see it, is to be a sounding board, to love unconditionally and to have as your bottom line the secure feeling that no matter how low things are - family will stand beside you, hold you up and see you clearly and perhaps differently than anyone else will. We too as a family have had our troubles. Not a single one of us is without our faults ( tho granted, I have very few) and we have had a lot of bumps and bruises along the way. When Caleb was hurt, along with our hurt came the clear realization that we were a real family. I am so proud of my two sons who are loving big and of Jan who is wearing his heart on his sleeve, of Aunt Carol who has ever-ready batteries just like that bunny. And now I have an even bigger family out there who just does not quit--thank you.
Today begins a long journey for the Lebster. He is up to the task. The schedule is arduous. He now has to feed himself, dress himself, wash himself, get up and walk when he is exhausted. He is forced and he is force!
Kai says to me at dinner as we are unsuccessfully trying to piece together the fog of the days following Caleb's accident, that he believes he read somewhere that the triangle is the strongest architectural shape; therefore Caleb must get better. Caleb, Kai and Max-the three sides to our triangle - there is no other way. I say--
Adversity forces one of two choices...you either quit or you grow. I can't wait to measure all of us on the beam in the kitchen once again. Love, mumsie
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Guest Appearance #1: Sky Freyss-Cole
Well here I am kicking off the first of many Sunday guest appearances. Since many of you I have never met, perhaps I will start with a short introduction. I’m Sky, a.k.a. blogmaster and paparazzi queen. Sharyn often mentions that she is the mother of three boys but she neglects to tell you she has many other “children” who have in some way or another finagled their way into her family. I’m one of those kids. Anne is my other mom; Ch is my dad; Cedar is my brother; and Soleil is my sister…not to mention the rest of Wellfleet: They’re extended family.
A very dear friend of mine from Denmark visited me in Wellfleet this summer. Her name is Nanna, or Frankie as I call her and we have been studying together at the KaosPilots in Aarhus since last fall. Frankie entered our spectacular little town in the midst of fundraisers, prayer circles and of course the heat of the season on Cape Cod. On our drive home from the bus station in Barnstable the night she arrived, I reminded her about the email I had sent, in which I had told her about Caleb’s accident. I warned her that things were “a little busy” around town. She had told me she had wanted to visit so that she could see where I came from and I have no doubt that she was able to do just that!
Frankie leapt head first into the heart of Wellfleet. It was time for a crash course! During our outings in town my comments went a little something like this:
“That’s Shannon, who is married to Jonah. Jonah ’s brothers are Shaye and Zach. Shaye is Katy’s boyfriend. Oh and remember that sweet little girl we saw yesterday? That’s Ella-Mae who is Zach and Settie’s daughter. Settie is the woman with the incredible voice who was singing the chant at the prayer circle. And Zach is the yoga teacher who has the studio where my mom works. You know, just behind the restaurant where we ate the other night? That’s Mac’s Shack. Oh and remember this morning when we saw the woman and the two sweet girls on the street by my house? That was Mac’s wife Tracy and their kids Bella and Lily. Got it? Oh and that woman I was just speaking with was Jodi. She’s one of ‘the moms’…”
It went on and on. By the time she headed back to Denmark, Frankie had it down. She had cracked the code of the interconnected web that is Wellfleet. In high school one of my history teachers made a bad joke about the family tree of someone from Wellfleet looking more like a wreath. Contrary to the stereotype, we are in fact not inbred, however we are part of an incredibly close-knit community. And that, my friends, is something to be extremely proud of.
Caleb is a shining star of this place we call home. To me he is a friend, a brother. To others, a son, a student, a teacher, a lover. Whether he’s banging on a drum, strolling in the woods, dancing a jig, driving on the back roads, brawling, laughing, screaming, spitting fire, jumping off a cliff, a roof, or a branch, Caleb embodies life. He is present. Loving. Real. A friend with the hugging power of a bear and a heart of gold. Damn he is missed!
I laughed to myself when the stickers were first printed up this summer. I can’t tell you how many photos I have where friends were posed and ready and at the last minute, Caleb jumped in on the side just as the shutter clicked. He likes being in the limelight but I bet he couldn’t have cooked this one up if he tried. I can’t wait to see his face when he returns to see his piratey mug plastered all over town!
Sharyn, thanks for the space to share. I sign out with a warm heart…and with this poem that reminds me of you, Mr. Caleb Russell Yellowbeard Bill Matey Leb Lad Potter…
How many, How much
By Shel Silverstein
How many slams in an old screen door?
Depends how loud you shut it.
How many slices in a bread?
Depends how thin you cut it.
How much good inside a day?
Depends how good you live 'em.
How much love inside a friend?
Depends how much you give 'em.
A very dear friend of mine from Denmark visited me in Wellfleet this summer. Her name is Nanna, or Frankie as I call her and we have been studying together at the KaosPilots in Aarhus since last fall. Frankie entered our spectacular little town in the midst of fundraisers, prayer circles and of course the heat of the season on Cape Cod. On our drive home from the bus station in Barnstable the night she arrived, I reminded her about the email I had sent, in which I had told her about Caleb’s accident. I warned her that things were “a little busy” around town. She had told me she had wanted to visit so that she could see where I came from and I have no doubt that she was able to do just that!
Frankie leapt head first into the heart of Wellfleet. It was time for a crash course! During our outings in town my comments went a little something like this:
“That’s Shannon, who is married to Jonah. Jonah ’s brothers are Shaye and Zach. Shaye is Katy’s boyfriend. Oh and remember that sweet little girl we saw yesterday? That’s Ella-Mae who is Zach and Settie’s daughter. Settie is the woman with the incredible voice who was singing the chant at the prayer circle. And Zach is the yoga teacher who has the studio where my mom works. You know, just behind the restaurant where we ate the other night? That’s Mac’s Shack. Oh and remember this morning when we saw the woman and the two sweet girls on the street by my house? That was Mac’s wife Tracy and their kids Bella and Lily. Got it? Oh and that woman I was just speaking with was Jodi. She’s one of ‘the moms’…”
It went on and on. By the time she headed back to Denmark, Frankie had it down. She had cracked the code of the interconnected web that is Wellfleet. In high school one of my history teachers made a bad joke about the family tree of someone from Wellfleet looking more like a wreath. Contrary to the stereotype, we are in fact not inbred, however we are part of an incredibly close-knit community. And that, my friends, is something to be extremely proud of.
Caleb is a shining star of this place we call home. To me he is a friend, a brother. To others, a son, a student, a teacher, a lover. Whether he’s banging on a drum, strolling in the woods, dancing a jig, driving on the back roads, brawling, laughing, screaming, spitting fire, jumping off a cliff, a roof, or a branch, Caleb embodies life. He is present. Loving. Real. A friend with the hugging power of a bear and a heart of gold. Damn he is missed!
I laughed to myself when the stickers were first printed up this summer. I can’t tell you how many photos I have where friends were posed and ready and at the last minute, Caleb jumped in on the side just as the shutter clicked. He likes being in the limelight but I bet he couldn’t have cooked this one up if he tried. I can’t wait to see his face when he returns to see his piratey mug plastered all over town!
Sharyn, thanks for the space to share. I sign out with a warm heart…and with this poem that reminds me of you, Mr. Caleb Russell Yellowbeard Bill Matey Leb Lad Potter…
How many, How much
By Shel Silverstein
How many slams in an old screen door?
Depends how loud you shut it.
How many slices in a bread?
Depends how thin you cut it.
How much good inside a day?
Depends how good you live 'em.
How much love inside a friend?
Depends how much you give 'em.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Home again home again, jigidy jig
It is official - we are back at Spaudling and settled into our new digs. Caleb is resting and looks better that I have seen him in a long time..Kai Max and I bought 3 cakes from the whole food store for Ellison 12 and walked away after a tearful goodbye- these folks become your family and I will miss their attention, expertise, and their no-fault encouragement plan. Now - for the bad news- mumsie has a full blown case of the hives! The only thing that suprises me about this is why it took till now!
Now I am red from head to toe.
I am looking forward to the guest appearances from those people who got back to me and I will contact you new posters soon to set you up with a password..Those of you who don't know thee Wellfleet characters are in for a big suprise!1!! If there are important updates on those days, I will update in the comment area, so mumsie will still be reporting.
Caleb today- up walking with the help of PT already - eager to do his best, eating still and uses utensils when he is fully alert.Color is great and vitals good-- does it get any better??? Now all that is lacking is a handsome hands on Doctor who can cure hives! Love ya, mumsie
Now I am red from head to toe.
I am looking forward to the guest appearances from those people who got back to me and I will contact you new posters soon to set you up with a password..Those of you who don't know thee Wellfleet characters are in for a big suprise!1!! If there are important updates on those days, I will update in the comment area, so mumsie will still be reporting.
Caleb today- up walking with the help of PT already - eager to do his best, eating still and uses utensils when he is fully alert.Color is great and vitals good-- does it get any better??? Now all that is lacking is a handsome hands on Doctor who can cure hives! Love ya, mumsie
Yellowbeard Oysterfest Booth
Shaye Cavanaugh will be hosting a booth for Caleb at the Wellfleet Oysterfest
(OCTOBER 13-14)
He will be selling t-shirts, hats, stickers, sweatshirts, flags, videos etc...
If you have anything to DONATE...please contact Shaye at 508-237-1174
All proceeds will go to the Caleb Potter Benefit Fund
(OCTOBER 13-14)
He will be selling t-shirts, hats, stickers, sweatshirts, flags, videos etc...
If you have anything to DONATE...please contact Shaye at 508-237-1174
All proceeds will go to the Caleb Potter Benefit Fund
Friday, September 21, 2007
Time to move on
When is it that you know that you have been at MGH for too long a time? Perhaps when you get in line at coffee central and when you get to the counter they already have your medium sized 1/2 decaf,1/2 reg; lots of cream waiting..or when security no longer needs to call the 12th floor to let you in because they, along with the floor janitors recognize you...or perhaps it is when almost every nurse on 12 visits Caleb on a regular basis because they have all been charmed by him on their shift? We are on the docket and ready to move..either today or tomorrow at the latest. I am, from experience anxious about this - caught in a hard place --Caleb does not really appear to me to be healthy enough for the move quite yet, but his legs are going and he needs movement! This will be one of those trust moments and we will go with it!
I have decided to ask certain people close to the family to do a "guest appearance" blog entry on Sundays. I have asked Sky to kick it off this Sunday and would ask that perhaps Nicole S,the great Judi, Cedar, Anne,Kevin, Lisa B and Jodi might take a Sunday coming up - This will give all of you readers a fresh and more complete perspective on Caleb and the goings on with our little town..instead of just his mother's point of view. It will also afford a break for me and now that we will be at Spaulding, I will need it. (Above mentioned names please call my cell if interested).
As for Condi and the lipstick - we share only the shade,(not the bust line or the politics). Jerry G - I did try to reach you by e-mail but it didn't go through.
Lesa - nice paper! and to all the rest of you - fear not, my sense of humor is coming back- a good sign of mental stability and with Kai, Max and Jan coming this weekend, I am looking forward to better days... Love ya, mumsie
I have decided to ask certain people close to the family to do a "guest appearance" blog entry on Sundays. I have asked Sky to kick it off this Sunday and would ask that perhaps Nicole S,the great Judi, Cedar, Anne,Kevin, Lisa B and Jodi might take a Sunday coming up - This will give all of you readers a fresh and more complete perspective on Caleb and the goings on with our little town..instead of just his mother's point of view. It will also afford a break for me and now that we will be at Spaulding, I will need it. (Above mentioned names please call my cell if interested).
As for Condi and the lipstick - we share only the shade,(not the bust line or the politics). Jerry G - I did try to reach you by e-mail but it didn't go through.
Lesa - nice paper! and to all the rest of you - fear not, my sense of humor is coming back- a good sign of mental stability and with Kai, Max and Jan coming this weekend, I am looking forward to better days... Love ya, mumsie
Thursday, September 20, 2007
My Apologies
I'm updating the Blog already for two reasons-- #1. I insulted my dear friend Kevin with my account of how he could ruin me and I only meant that to mean that he knows too much about me and is always telling stories about me..I never meant to hurt his feelings..sometimes the written word can be misleading.. so scratch that comment!
#2 Caleb is on the move in two days... or even perhaps tomorrow if he continues to do well. He has 3 little Gallstones which need monitoring, but all signs point to go---we are on our way to Spaulding! thanks for the update on the site and I am so pleased that it will remain on Town Lawn. I'll keep you posted on our travels..
#2 Caleb is on the move in two days... or even perhaps tomorrow if he continues to do well. He has 3 little Gallstones which need monitoring, but all signs point to go---we are on our way to Spaulding! thanks for the update on the site and I am so pleased that it will remain on Town Lawn. I'll keep you posted on our travels..
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Freedom
I am touched by the ever increasing - pro Town Lawn comments concerning Caleb and the Oysterfest. I am also encouraged by the insistence that I write about this experience- but I have to say to my good friend Kevin that any publisher in his/her right mind would exorcise his comments immediately-I would have an image to uphold- and he could easily be the ruin of me!
Around the witching hour I took a deep breath, took all your comments and inhaled them heartily, walked away from Caleb for an hour,went back to my new apt., poured myself a glass of chianti, took a pampering hot bath, and then ran back to the hospital -- well I am practicing! Brilliant tho - I feel better!
As for the red lipstick -( and this is the honest to God truth )- Only I and Condelissa Rice are passionate about this Channel color and therefore I cannot divulge the number --come to think of it I may have inadvertently told my sister and now I am going to have to kill her!
Caleb's drain is out - they have him girdled so he can no longer pull out his G-tube (food tube) and his IV line is heavily armed with gauze - so perhaps ( and we are experimenting tonight) he will no longer need the restraints..to me - this smacks of freedom. A free spirit is not easily chained and already as I write this I look up to witness a beautifully, peaceful, sleeping boy. First time in what feels like a decade!
I think it has finally become clear to the nursing staff that I am making my home here ( if they want you to leave why do they stock the visitors fridge with ice cream?) They wheeled in a cot and I am looking forward to a blissful sleep - I'll be dreaming of you...
Around the witching hour I took a deep breath, took all your comments and inhaled them heartily, walked away from Caleb for an hour,went back to my new apt., poured myself a glass of chianti, took a pampering hot bath, and then ran back to the hospital -- well I am practicing! Brilliant tho - I feel better!
As for the red lipstick -( and this is the honest to God truth )- Only I and Condelissa Rice are passionate about this Channel color and therefore I cannot divulge the number --come to think of it I may have inadvertently told my sister and now I am going to have to kill her!
Caleb's drain is out - they have him girdled so he can no longer pull out his G-tube (food tube) and his IV line is heavily armed with gauze - so perhaps ( and we are experimenting tonight) he will no longer need the restraints..to me - this smacks of freedom. A free spirit is not easily chained and already as I write this I look up to witness a beautifully, peaceful, sleeping boy. First time in what feels like a decade!
I think it has finally become clear to the nursing staff that I am making my home here ( if they want you to leave why do they stock the visitors fridge with ice cream?) They wheeled in a cot and I am looking forward to a blissful sleep - I'll be dreaming of you...
About the Lawn...
Lisa Brown was the one to take out the permit for gathering on the Wellfleet Town Lawn and therefore holds the official responsibility for our activities there. She has now been asked by "some of the powers that be in Town Hall and elsewhere", to please consider moving the stuff off the lawn.
Oysterfest is on it's way and the town would like to spruce up the lawn in Wellfleet Center. One suggestion is to perhaps move Caleb's things onto Cannon Hill. An additional idea was to put in the circle's place a sign thanking the town and all of the people who have supported, contributed, donated, loved, arrgh-ed etc!
Please ADD YOUR FEEDBACK to this post or find Lisa and speak to her in person about this matter.
We need to make a decision about this soon and there's no doubt that the best possible solution lies in us. LET'S BRAINSTORM!
Oysterfest is on it's way and the town would like to spruce up the lawn in Wellfleet Center. One suggestion is to perhaps move Caleb's things onto Cannon Hill. An additional idea was to put in the circle's place a sign thanking the town and all of the people who have supported, contributed, donated, loved, arrgh-ed etc!
Please ADD YOUR FEEDBACK to this post or find Lisa and speak to her in person about this matter.
We need to make a decision about this soon and there's no doubt that the best possible solution lies in us. LET'S BRAINSTORM!
Compassion
The clean sky of fall is above us as everyone preambles the streets of Boston. Jackets and gloves are starting to appear on the bodies I pass and the feeling of hunkering down is in the air. At home about this time, I would be ordering my three cord of wood and enticing Max, Kai and Caleb to help stack in exchange for beers and dinner.
Caleb's move to Spaulding is looming on the horizon, scheduled from one day to the next in a holding pattern till they are certain he is in good shape for the journey - one block away. His liver is showing signs of stress from the deluge of antibiotics and he is scheduled for a test this morn to see if any damage has been done. Aside from that, he is eagerly eating three meals a day, gives me morning kisses and good night hugs and is seemingly in good spirits. The attempt at speaking is presenting us with many comforts and challenges.. he is so clear at times and then frustrated at others when I don't "get" what he needs to say...but as each day passes, he becomes more capable of spewing out those legendary stories he usually plies us with. The drain in the head remains, but that too is on hold till we see CAT scan results. By all appearances, he is becoming more and more like the Caleb we remember.
The days here are long, my lipstick tubes; running short and my gratitude remains steadfast..
"Hospital land" is filled with contrasts...Caleb is peaceful - I am a wreck, Caleb eats, I am empty. Nightfall brings clouds of sorrow and is compensated with friendship. But each day I wake to the ever growing feeling of hope. In the wee hours of dawn I roll over, open my eyes and bless the day for giving me another opportunity to exercise compassion -
It is, I believe, the only reason to ever get up.
Love and blessings - mumsie
Caleb's move to Spaulding is looming on the horizon, scheduled from one day to the next in a holding pattern till they are certain he is in good shape for the journey - one block away. His liver is showing signs of stress from the deluge of antibiotics and he is scheduled for a test this morn to see if any damage has been done. Aside from that, he is eagerly eating three meals a day, gives me morning kisses and good night hugs and is seemingly in good spirits. The attempt at speaking is presenting us with many comforts and challenges.. he is so clear at times and then frustrated at others when I don't "get" what he needs to say...but as each day passes, he becomes more capable of spewing out those legendary stories he usually plies us with. The drain in the head remains, but that too is on hold till we see CAT scan results. By all appearances, he is becoming more and more like the Caleb we remember.
The days here are long, my lipstick tubes; running short and my gratitude remains steadfast..
"Hospital land" is filled with contrasts...Caleb is peaceful - I am a wreck, Caleb eats, I am empty. Nightfall brings clouds of sorrow and is compensated with friendship. But each day I wake to the ever growing feeling of hope. In the wee hours of dawn I roll over, open my eyes and bless the day for giving me another opportunity to exercise compassion -
It is, I believe, the only reason to ever get up.
Love and blessings - mumsie
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Another good day!!
So Sharyn is letting me update everyone on the blog today, because I have come up to visit with Caleb, so do not freak out when you do not see a blog from her today. I arrived yesterday afternoon, and Caleb was sitting up in a chair wide awake when I walked in. That first impression was so exciting for me, because I have not seen him like that in like a month. I gave him a pad of paper to respond to me if he wanted to communicate. I told him I loved him over and over and then he wrote..."I love you back". I will carry that little piece of paper with me in my wallet everyday, so that I can look at it whenever I'm missing him. He really enjoys having a pen in is hand and it makes me so happy to see him doing something he loves. On September 17th, Caleb drew a picture of his accident and he wrote his name next to it and the doctors are very happy about that.
As you all know, Caleb is eating and doing such a good job at it. On the menu last night was puree chicken, mashed potatoes, apple sauce and gravy. I have to say, after not eating all day because I hate leaving Caleb when I am here, that food looked really delicious. He is swallowing really well and he is gaining weight back. Yesterday he was weighed, and Sharyn and I were so jealous that he weighed less than us. haha....He weighs 129 lbs now and that is very encouraging because he has gained 5 lbs in the last week and a half.
Eventhough Caleb is learning how to eat again and trying to talk, he is still in the ICU and not out of the clear. Which means, that no one except family can visit him. I wish i could write more, but Caleb is getting antsy and Sharyn has to go get him some eggs, so I have to watch him. He tends to like to pull the drain in his brain out, but we are very watchful so he has not succeeded.
thank u for all your prayers because caleb is getting better day by day. we love u all. and so does caleb...
As you all know, Caleb is eating and doing such a good job at it. On the menu last night was puree chicken, mashed potatoes, apple sauce and gravy. I have to say, after not eating all day because I hate leaving Caleb when I am here, that food looked really delicious. He is swallowing really well and he is gaining weight back. Yesterday he was weighed, and Sharyn and I were so jealous that he weighed less than us. haha....He weighs 129 lbs now and that is very encouraging because he has gained 5 lbs in the last week and a half.
Eventhough Caleb is learning how to eat again and trying to talk, he is still in the ICU and not out of the clear. Which means, that no one except family can visit him. I wish i could write more, but Caleb is getting antsy and Sharyn has to go get him some eggs, so I have to watch him. He tends to like to pull the drain in his brain out, but we are very watchful so he has not succeeded.
thank u for all your prayers because caleb is getting better day by day. we love u all. and so does caleb...
Monday, September 17, 2007
chameleon
Sun rise over the city is in stark contrast to sunrise over Whitecrest, but it is still lovely and captures the essence of a new beginning- a new day - a new chance! I have been spending nights again with Caleb and with sleep derivation staring me down, I found myself frustrated and weary at 4 am, trying to help Caleb get comfortable. He looked up at me with one beautifully clear eye and said "don't be mad".
Now I can't speak for you, but I could stand to lose about fifty pounds of anger that has been stored over the years- this one little,profound sentence is what will speak to me today! Can they liposuction anger yet?
Caleb has managed to pull off yet another miracle - the day nurse from yesterday walked in this morn and said "Is this the same boy?" and I was tempted to say no..because he seems to change before my very eyes as well. He has always managed to have a bit of chameleon in him, and it serves him well. Now we need calm seas for a bit so we can stay the course!
I love the saying " When the going gets tough- the tough get going...If someone had not already coined that phrase, I surely would have come up with it while watching Kai and Max under duress. Max, always the strong and silent type has continuously been there by Calebs' side, never leaving, never wavering..he can just sit for hours and hold and rub and hold and rub Caleb's hand. He looks into Caleb's soft blue eye with his strong doe eyes and gives a look to Leb so filled with compassion that I have to turn away for fear of crying. Never mind that he is the youngest of the three- Caleb never dares to pull on Iv lines with Max around - it just doesn't happen!
Kai, the intellectual surfer, grilles the surgeon on all kinds of topics related to Caleb's condition- to the point that the Nero doc suggested to me that he should become a surgeon himself- his questions are measured, poised and researched.
Jan always brings comic relief to the table and Aunt Carol ; well lets just say you don't want to mess with her- - so you see after all your accolades - all I really do is sit back and relax! Caleb and I are in good hands.
I am mindful today that I could not be doing any of this half as well as I am without the help of my new found friends and "old" extended family. We are back on our road again and following it, winding as it may be and we are grateful to all of you along the way - My lions, and scarecrows and my beloved tin men and I say with great clarity "there's no place like home!" mumsie
Now I can't speak for you, but I could stand to lose about fifty pounds of anger that has been stored over the years- this one little,profound sentence is what will speak to me today! Can they liposuction anger yet?
Caleb has managed to pull off yet another miracle - the day nurse from yesterday walked in this morn and said "Is this the same boy?" and I was tempted to say no..because he seems to change before my very eyes as well. He has always managed to have a bit of chameleon in him, and it serves him well. Now we need calm seas for a bit so we can stay the course!
I love the saying " When the going gets tough- the tough get going...If someone had not already coined that phrase, I surely would have come up with it while watching Kai and Max under duress. Max, always the strong and silent type has continuously been there by Calebs' side, never leaving, never wavering..he can just sit for hours and hold and rub and hold and rub Caleb's hand. He looks into Caleb's soft blue eye with his strong doe eyes and gives a look to Leb so filled with compassion that I have to turn away for fear of crying. Never mind that he is the youngest of the three- Caleb never dares to pull on Iv lines with Max around - it just doesn't happen!
Kai, the intellectual surfer, grilles the surgeon on all kinds of topics related to Caleb's condition- to the point that the Nero doc suggested to me that he should become a surgeon himself- his questions are measured, poised and researched.
Jan always brings comic relief to the table and Aunt Carol ; well lets just say you don't want to mess with her- - so you see after all your accolades - all I really do is sit back and relax! Caleb and I are in good hands.
I am mindful today that I could not be doing any of this half as well as I am without the help of my new found friends and "old" extended family. We are back on our road again and following it, winding as it may be and we are grateful to all of you along the way - My lions, and scarecrows and my beloved tin men and I say with great clarity "there's no place like home!" mumsie
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Hero
Soooooooo- you can stop holding your breath in - Caleb is back!
What a scare he gives me, gives us..gives you!
His IV fluids are coming back negative indicating no bacterial infection on the rise; his vitals now stable. I wanted to get this off to you before there was a mad exodus of wailing Fleetians trailing off to Newcomb beach, jumping into the sea like little lemmings. But then I realize that's how depressed I was - you all hold firmly and stay grounded when I can no longer see my way. I thank you for being the heroes of the day. My hero- each one of you out there holding us in your thoughts.
You are such courageous creatures -and I am so blessed to have you by my side, always plugging for Caleb.
Caleb is working out whatever bug he had in his system.. he vomited several times today, looked up after one such bout and said " hi pops" to Jan. I cleared the room of family so the nurse could clean him up leaving the Kai guard to watch over him. Caleb looked up and whispered to his brother " where did everyone go?" Perhaps he is ready to party???? He is beginning to "find his voice" again- just little bursts- I am relieved.
I want to say Happy Birthday to Grace (one of Calebs' past loves)- I love her so..and happy birth-date to all of you who were born at just the right time in order to be a part of the journey we are all on. We will be celebrating at the Lindsay/Potter home as soon as I can bring this child of mine home...celebrating with all those beautiful faces on the blog and all the new ones to be added....can't wait to see you all! Love mumsie I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What a scare he gives me, gives us..gives you!
His IV fluids are coming back negative indicating no bacterial infection on the rise; his vitals now stable. I wanted to get this off to you before there was a mad exodus of wailing Fleetians trailing off to Newcomb beach, jumping into the sea like little lemmings. But then I realize that's how depressed I was - you all hold firmly and stay grounded when I can no longer see my way. I thank you for being the heroes of the day. My hero- each one of you out there holding us in your thoughts.
You are such courageous creatures -and I am so blessed to have you by my side, always plugging for Caleb.
Caleb is working out whatever bug he had in his system.. he vomited several times today, looked up after one such bout and said " hi pops" to Jan. I cleared the room of family so the nurse could clean him up leaving the Kai guard to watch over him. Caleb looked up and whispered to his brother " where did everyone go?" Perhaps he is ready to party???? He is beginning to "find his voice" again- just little bursts- I am relieved.
I want to say Happy Birthday to Grace (one of Calebs' past loves)- I love her so..and happy birth-date to all of you who were born at just the right time in order to be a part of the journey we are all on. We will be celebrating at the Lindsay/Potter home as soon as I can bring this child of mine home...celebrating with all those beautiful faces on the blog and all the new ones to be added....can't wait to see you all! Love mumsie I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, September 15, 2007
We are with you!
Friday, September 14, 2007
life is precious
It is with heavy heart that I report tonight. As of this morning, Calebs' white count was down to 15 and now has soared to 400 in a few short hours. Only 100 points less than it was when he was in big trouble before. I am confessing that I am nearing the end of my ability to bounce back and am worried sick. I realize, tho Caleb greets me each morning with a gentle kiss, looks into my eyes as I spoon feed him, attempts to speak when I ask him to, and writes that he is well when I know he is feverish, that there is absolutely no guarantee in life and that he could still not make it. We remain ever hopeful - but tonight I feel like someone has sucked the blood out of me. Kai and Liz have arrived and I see Caleb struggle to wake to the sound of his brothers voice.. so connected these two. I know that parents have lost children and survive, but to lose Caleb is not an option to me and I dangle my heart out to any entity who will listen and I plead for his life. He is near comatose again - lifeless and not responsive and I ache with the thoughts that churn through my head. I am tired- so tired- so tired.
Allowing
Day four with continued progress. Your comments are so touching, so helpful and I have decided that if and when I need a break from posting I will secretly sign one of you on to take over the mumsie roll for a week- how fun could that be?
Caleb is eating 3 full meals a day - We should all be eating pureed food - how easy to digest. He has gone from a size five to a six and is looking fuller in the face- not so gaunt anymore. If he continues to drop in bacteria count, white blood cell count and sodium levels- he will be traveling back to Spaulding toward the end of next week. His legs are no longer moving so we need this step to help him re-gain that lost strength. We are moving forward, breaking through the shoal!
I have been lately preoccupied with the idea of paying attention to allowing... allowing others to be just who they need to be without passing judgment. I read a story which taught me so much and has stayed with me as a reminder over the years. When I find myself in a situation where it would be so easy to criticize or shun someone, I remind myself of this story... A man was sitting on the train with his two young children who were misbehaving and bothering all the other passengers in their proximity. The gentleman across from them could take it no longer and spoke up - "Don't you see that your children are acting poorly and are bothering all of us?" The father lifted his head slowing and said " I am so sorry- I didn't notice. I have just come from the hospital where their mother has died" I am trying to keep this story close to my heart today and I am trying to learn from Caleb to accept people and know that we are never standing in their shoes...therefore to judge is a waste of time...I continue to learn from my children each day ! Love one another - be gracious and accepting. Caleb would want this from you - especially now!
Thank you Jodi for the reminder of how courageous your whole lots is and for all the other comments that move me through the day - you are all angels! Love, mumsie
Caleb is eating 3 full meals a day - We should all be eating pureed food - how easy to digest. He has gone from a size five to a six and is looking fuller in the face- not so gaunt anymore. If he continues to drop in bacteria count, white blood cell count and sodium levels- he will be traveling back to Spaulding toward the end of next week. His legs are no longer moving so we need this step to help him re-gain that lost strength. We are moving forward, breaking through the shoal!
I have been lately preoccupied with the idea of paying attention to allowing... allowing others to be just who they need to be without passing judgment. I read a story which taught me so much and has stayed with me as a reminder over the years. When I find myself in a situation where it would be so easy to criticize or shun someone, I remind myself of this story... A man was sitting on the train with his two young children who were misbehaving and bothering all the other passengers in their proximity. The gentleman across from them could take it no longer and spoke up - "Don't you see that your children are acting poorly and are bothering all of us?" The father lifted his head slowing and said " I am so sorry- I didn't notice. I have just come from the hospital where their mother has died" I am trying to keep this story close to my heart today and I am trying to learn from Caleb to accept people and know that we are never standing in their shoes...therefore to judge is a waste of time...I continue to learn from my children each day ! Love one another - be gracious and accepting. Caleb would want this from you - especially now!
Thank you Jodi for the reminder of how courageous your whole lots is and for all the other comments that move me through the day - you are all angels! Love, mumsie
Thursday, September 13, 2007
my muse
I just want to paint a clear picture of what room 1228 is like for Caleb. Sterile, crisp sheets piled high, meds with funny names usually ending in "in" (colistin, amikasin)pumping through his veins, the cool up and down and all around bed which Caleb is glued to round the clock, a parade of Doctors coming and going day and night, nurses ever so faithfully watching over him, tending to his needs, the never ending poking and prodding, needles in his tummy, needles in his arms, needles in his brain, IV lines twisted up together and tangled like my emotions. Caleb moans and groans, is uncomfortable most hours of the day, is forced to wake just when he has gotten to sleep and is a sunken a shriveled example of his robust and healthy former self. In spite of this he chose to write todays blog on a piece of paper with his nurses looking over him....
" Hello everybody..I am feeling well."
Now - I am a firm believer that we all are unique and special in our own ways, and that when we find our calling in life, we have something very important to add to this world. I am also aware of those few special creatures who walk this earth who are reminders of how it can be. I repeat- how it can be! Caleb is one such creature. Caleb never quits - never! He is always the example of kindness and generosity. He is rarely impatient and is always joyful. He is not knowledgeable in the way that this world would judge him, but he is the smartest person I know... because he has learned that what you give is what you get! It is a tangible measurement and as you are witness, he receives in spades!
I am humbled by my child; this young man who walks among us with Grace and dignity, who treats young and old alike and who finds the fun in every situation...who invites strangers over (usually for dinner at moms) who gives with open heart and opened mind. Who always looks on the bright side of life..
"I am well" Need I say more? mumsie
" Hello everybody..I am feeling well."
Now - I am a firm believer that we all are unique and special in our own ways, and that when we find our calling in life, we have something very important to add to this world. I am also aware of those few special creatures who walk this earth who are reminders of how it can be. I repeat- how it can be! Caleb is one such creature. Caleb never quits - never! He is always the example of kindness and generosity. He is rarely impatient and is always joyful. He is not knowledgeable in the way that this world would judge him, but he is the smartest person I know... because he has learned that what you give is what you get! It is a tangible measurement and as you are witness, he receives in spades!
I am humbled by my child; this young man who walks among us with Grace and dignity, who treats young and old alike and who finds the fun in every situation...who invites strangers over (usually for dinner at moms) who gives with open heart and opened mind. Who always looks on the bright side of life..
"I am well" Need I say more? mumsie
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Grace under fire!
Once again you have managed to pull me out of the bowels of the earth with all of your heartfelt comments, which I read and re-read many times through the night. Thank you.
Yes, I was asking all those "what if" questions and I was losing ground, then in your comments a theme emerged and I could see and feel hope once again.
Caleb's grandmother's name was Grace (my mother). She and Caleb had a special relationship- he in short adored her and they share a similar spunk and vitality for life. When company opened the drawer next to the sink that was obviously the one for silverware, they instead found a drawer full of fake bugs, flys trapped in ice cubes, dog puke, whoopie cushions , a dribble glass ( she used that one on Jan the first time I took him home); all sorts of goodies - but no silverware! The theme of Grace was comin through. My mother was a terrific grandmother..real hands on! She sat in the grass for hours with Caleb laughing with him as he tickled from all the ladybugs climbing up and down his arm. She armed all my sisters with loaded super-soakers then told the cousins and Caleb to open their eyes for their surprise! I realized last evening that she, along with all of you, is along for this ride as well... and she is watching over him too! Another mothers' love.
Caleb has high levels of sodium, which continues to make him lethargic and is a concern- but one that is being monitored. He has been eating oatmeal with me every morn and pureed foods every time he is alert enough to eat. His white count; still down and his bacteria count;dropping. We have so much to be grateful for today...he is better!
It is a beautiful day in Boston. I have tucked Caleb's Gracie teddy bear under his arm while he sleeps,I have turned on his heavenly music which Kai recorded,and I remind myself " Tis Grace that brought us safe this far; and Grace will lead us home" God Bless, mumsie
Yes, I was asking all those "what if" questions and I was losing ground, then in your comments a theme emerged and I could see and feel hope once again.
Caleb's grandmother's name was Grace (my mother). She and Caleb had a special relationship- he in short adored her and they share a similar spunk and vitality for life. When company opened the drawer next to the sink that was obviously the one for silverware, they instead found a drawer full of fake bugs, flys trapped in ice cubes, dog puke, whoopie cushions , a dribble glass ( she used that one on Jan the first time I took him home); all sorts of goodies - but no silverware! The theme of Grace was comin through. My mother was a terrific grandmother..real hands on! She sat in the grass for hours with Caleb laughing with him as he tickled from all the ladybugs climbing up and down his arm. She armed all my sisters with loaded super-soakers then told the cousins and Caleb to open their eyes for their surprise! I realized last evening that she, along with all of you, is along for this ride as well... and she is watching over him too! Another mothers' love.
Caleb has high levels of sodium, which continues to make him lethargic and is a concern- but one that is being monitored. He has been eating oatmeal with me every morn and pureed foods every time he is alert enough to eat. His white count; still down and his bacteria count;dropping. We have so much to be grateful for today...he is better!
It is a beautiful day in Boston. I have tucked Caleb's Gracie teddy bear under his arm while he sleeps,I have turned on his heavenly music which Kai recorded,and I remind myself " Tis Grace that brought us safe this far; and Grace will lead us home" God Bless, mumsie
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
In Your Shoes
It rains like the dickens in Boston and in the city the water has no better place to go than into your shoes...Through this journey I feel as tho I have been in your shoes as well - invited in to be able to see my boys as you see them, to feel your feelings and to think your thoughts along with you. The words from this blog swirl around my head each day - words of encouragement, love, devotion, peace and kindness...I am eternally grateful and impressed with all of you - from the one liners to the lengthy posts - I am encouraged by all! My family is held so gracefully in your hands.
I do not have it in me today to speak of Caleb and his progress - I cannot find any words that fit and I refuse to report any thing negative today - I just can't get myself to do it-- Know that we are well, side by side and doing the best we can in each and every moment. My Love to all, Mumsie
I do not have it in me today to speak of Caleb and his progress - I cannot find any words that fit and I refuse to report any thing negative today - I just can't get myself to do it-- Know that we are well, side by side and doing the best we can in each and every moment. My Love to all, Mumsie
Monday, September 10, 2007
I got the fevor
Thank God to all of you for being out there for us - you in turn make me smile, laugh, cry - but mostly you make me realize that we are never alone. Thank you.
So the temp. is rising....it is almost amusing to me that in this era of CAT Scans,Chest X-rays and MRI's there is still the age old, antiquated, full proof method that the Doctor's resort to time and time again - the process of elimination. ( I imagine the prehistoric days ...Dr. Thor talking to Dr. Ugggg - "it no chicken pox - we no have that yet..must be rash from heat - we call it something fancy like Heat Rash..charge extra dinosaur dung for keeping fire going") Well - we have a bit of that going on up here.. They have eliminated bacteria so far and are looking into the kidneys, lungs, urinary tract and so forth. I will fill you in when I know more. Meanwhile, stay tuned for more of the Caleb Potter show. And yes, I am most certainly loosing my mind - can you tell? Love, mumsie
So the temp. is rising....it is almost amusing to me that in this era of CAT Scans,Chest X-rays and MRI's there is still the age old, antiquated, full proof method that the Doctor's resort to time and time again - the process of elimination. ( I imagine the prehistoric days ...Dr. Thor talking to Dr. Ugggg - "it no chicken pox - we no have that yet..must be rash from heat - we call it something fancy like Heat Rash..charge extra dinosaur dung for keeping fire going") Well - we have a bit of that going on up here.. They have eliminated bacteria so far and are looking into the kidneys, lungs, urinary tract and so forth. I will fill you in when I know more. Meanwhile, stay tuned for more of the Caleb Potter show. And yes, I am most certainly loosing my mind - can you tell? Love, mumsie
Sunday, September 9, 2007
stumble, stumble, roll
Like all the mothers ( and fathers) I have known... I am also one who is full with prided concerning my children...but since I am a mother I ask - what is this condition of motherhood where you feel often that your hearts beat as one and subsequently bleed as one also? There is no concrete explanation for it but it is a force that is so real that it can be tasted in every kiss you plant on their foreheads as they run out the door, and out of your range of safety. Kai left today - I must say that it is almost in a way easier for me to make it through the week when I am here alone and can bolster myself up and carry on. When the boys are here I am reminded of what was, instead of what is. Max, Jan and Sarah were here today as well and we are watching Caleb like hawks-- a mindful eye always focused on him. Every little shifts in him is like an earthquake to us and it reverberates through the room and makes us fret. We have no explanation as to why he is turning for the worse, but we hang onto hope and look forward to tomorrow when we can loosen the tight grip on our fingers. It may be a urinary infection, it might be a secondary infection, it might be this- it might be that! Living the unknown to us has just become plain ordinary living! So- by the early morn I hope I will have answers to share with you. I hope that the next time the boys come to see me that as they are walking away I am not watching their every move, biting my lower lip in order not to cry; as I begin to cry.
Sunday morn
Kai and I are by Caleb's side bright and early this morn, anxiously awaiting the arrival of Max and Jan...Caleb has had yet another slide backwards- but only a slide, I think..As the day progressed yesterday, he became more lethargic and shut down. After reading the CAT scan, the Doc's appeared to say that his left cranial ventricals are swollen and that he will have to taken off the intrathecal IV..the one line which directly feeds the brain his antibiotics. (which is what has improved his condition so far) The Doc's say this is pretty routine, but we are always disappointed and dismayed when this sort of thing happens. Frankly, we were just getting used to the full bore, full on healing mode and I know this back and forth is to be expected, but it is trying. We will spend the day with him and I will report back to you in the morn -- nothing more to say!
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Erection
Richard, Kai, Caleb are sitting around discussing erections-you can tell this is an all male room and I am the fly on the wall. So things are a bit more normal and Caleb is actually eating - for the first time- real food...that is if you can consider pureed baby food real. But he gets this satisfied look on his face, and that is enough for me! Jan and Max will arrive tomorrow and this room #28 has taken on a party atmosphere with all his floor nurses checking in on him even tho they are not assigned to his room. As is typical, Caleb has created a scene! He is snoring away now- the sign of a man well fed and we are elated at his continuing progress.
The Doc tells me he is scheduled to go back to Spaulding this next week and as always, I have mixed feelings about this.. but know that it is the necessary move towards improvement for him. He is just so pampered and safe here and once again we have to move into the unknown and push to the next level. We are ready!
I would like to ask all of you who can to take the time to write a letter on behalf of Shaye - Sky included his e-mail on this site. It needs not to be long or clever - just has to be a sentence in favor of not getting sentenced. Just write from the heart as you are all so good at doing. He needs the support and since Caleb is on the mend perhaps you can spend your usual blogging time, writing for Shaye. ...or better yet - do both because I would miss you. This is a worthwhile investment of your time!
So I am off to the Hardware store to buy a diesel toilet plunger - another side effect of an all male crew! Love to you all, mumsie
The Doc tells me he is scheduled to go back to Spaulding this next week and as always, I have mixed feelings about this.. but know that it is the necessary move towards improvement for him. He is just so pampered and safe here and once again we have to move into the unknown and push to the next level. We are ready!
I would like to ask all of you who can to take the time to write a letter on behalf of Shaye - Sky included his e-mail on this site. It needs not to be long or clever - just has to be a sentence in favor of not getting sentenced. Just write from the heart as you are all so good at doing. He needs the support and since Caleb is on the mend perhaps you can spend your usual blogging time, writing for Shaye. ...or better yet - do both because I would miss you. This is a worthwhile investment of your time!
So I am off to the Hardware store to buy a diesel toilet plunger - another side effect of an all male crew! Love to you all, mumsie
Thursday, September 6, 2007
fundamental fun 101
This is a class about life which I suggest you take...Living on the edge here, as we do each day has taught me the importance of making each second count -- and all that is required from you is a conscious decision to do so! In each changing moment there is an opportunity for you to choose.
Caleb? - he is a fun seeker! We were scheduled to fly to Costa when a nasty storm blew in blanketing Fleet in snow - Caleb and I drove to town and built a snow girl in one of the town's islands complete with breasts, my bikini, and red lips. (By the way - who has that bikini?) She was a show stopper. Being around Caleb means laughter and excitement and not knowing what he will do next! He is spontaneous, spunky and spirited! It is no surprise to me that so many people have reached out to him - he is well loved!
So - thank you for all the suggestions about the "what to dos in Beantown" and I will store them all in my memory, and a great many suggestions there were! For now I am confined to Caleb's room. He has to wear restraints and is tied to the sides of the bed all day long if I am not there.. so I didn't make that clear and now I will be subjected to Kevin and Jane's suggestions - actually I think I might just get into this!
Caleb's doc was just by and here is the update for today- looking good, some concern about infection, but they are on top of it. IV line in the head will come out this Sunday and antibiotics will continue for another week administered through his regular IV... so if all continues as is, we might be back at Spaulding in 2 weeks time. Yipeeeee!!!!
Thank you- all of you who sit behind your computers and follow along with us..for all the kindness, all the heartfelt stories of survival, and all the laughs... I for one am deciding today to be a fun seeker like Leb... and the first thing I am doing is blowing you a big, fat red and gooey lipstick kiss through these lines. Where it lands is up to you! mumsie
Caleb? - he is a fun seeker! We were scheduled to fly to Costa when a nasty storm blew in blanketing Fleet in snow - Caleb and I drove to town and built a snow girl in one of the town's islands complete with breasts, my bikini, and red lips. (By the way - who has that bikini?) She was a show stopper. Being around Caleb means laughter and excitement and not knowing what he will do next! He is spontaneous, spunky and spirited! It is no surprise to me that so many people have reached out to him - he is well loved!
So - thank you for all the suggestions about the "what to dos in Beantown" and I will store them all in my memory, and a great many suggestions there were! For now I am confined to Caleb's room. He has to wear restraints and is tied to the sides of the bed all day long if I am not there.. so I didn't make that clear and now I will be subjected to Kevin and Jane's suggestions - actually I think I might just get into this!
Caleb's doc was just by and here is the update for today- looking good, some concern about infection, but they are on top of it. IV line in the head will come out this Sunday and antibiotics will continue for another week administered through his regular IV... so if all continues as is, we might be back at Spaulding in 2 weeks time. Yipeeeee!!!!
Thank you- all of you who sit behind your computers and follow along with us..for all the kindness, all the heartfelt stories of survival, and all the laughs... I for one am deciding today to be a fun seeker like Leb... and the first thing I am doing is blowing you a big, fat red and gooey lipstick kiss through these lines. Where it lands is up to you! mumsie
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
September goodies
This is day four with continued positive progress for Caleb...it looks as tho his bacteria count is going down - it's slowly moving in that direction...but it's moving. White blood count is down as well...temps are stable, and blood pressure - good! So, I am feeling really radient.
For those of you who want to send cards (thanks to the teacher on the blog who is teaching her kids about kindness), Sky posted my address. I would also like to have Pam write to me about NHRS and her experiences there, should she like! I am considering that option for Caleb. I am always amazed and amused at how many of you say that you are shy about writing on the blog----please don't be. I value all of the words that are spoken on this site, and often you shy types say the most profound things.
There is a nurse here (one of our favorites among the favorites)who knew Molly Benjamin ( our own female pirate in Fleet who recently passed away) who follows this blog along with many of the nurses here at MGH and those at Spaulding -- I say - hats off to the nurses - they are beyond dedicated and they make your stay at the hospital so bearable..and those outfits! Gotta have one! There are days where I find myself laughing and crying with them, just as if I were with all of you at home. Please give some positive mojo to the nurses today ..they are the best!
Kai and Liz are settled into their new apt. in Western MA, Max is holding down the fort, Dad is back at work, Aunt Carol; back to teaching, Jenny is back at school as well and I am adjusting to my new life as a city girl. As Caleb improves, I am finding that I actually a bit bored - any suggestions? Love to all from the mumsie
For those of you who want to send cards (thanks to the teacher on the blog who is teaching her kids about kindness), Sky posted my address. I would also like to have Pam write to me about NHRS and her experiences there, should she like! I am considering that option for Caleb. I am always amazed and amused at how many of you say that you are shy about writing on the blog----please don't be. I value all of the words that are spoken on this site, and often you shy types say the most profound things.
There is a nurse here (one of our favorites among the favorites)who knew Molly Benjamin ( our own female pirate in Fleet who recently passed away) who follows this blog along with many of the nurses here at MGH and those at Spaulding -- I say - hats off to the nurses - they are beyond dedicated and they make your stay at the hospital so bearable..and those outfits! Gotta have one! There are days where I find myself laughing and crying with them, just as if I were with all of you at home. Please give some positive mojo to the nurses today ..they are the best!
Kai and Liz are settled into their new apt. in Western MA, Max is holding down the fort, Dad is back at work, Aunt Carol; back to teaching, Jenny is back at school as well and I am adjusting to my new life as a city girl. As Caleb improves, I am finding that I actually a bit bored - any suggestions? Love to all from the mumsie
Please take a look...
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Monday, September 3, 2007
Sunset
I am watching one of the many sunsets which I witness nightly and I am reminded that in all things - there is beauty. I have been holding myself so rigidly in the past two months that now that we have had three consecutive days of good news with Caleb - I am finding that for the first time, I am able to grieve.....grieve for the carefree life we had, the ordinary days passing by, the belief that life would always be as it was; boys rolling up the driveway, boys in the kitchen, more boys coming by, empty refrigerator, empty beer bottles, full hearts. Like the sunset,there was so much beauty in our lives. I am now witness to the fact that it doesn't go away. In all of this uncertainty, heartache and loneliness, there is an abundance of beauty. Grief, I am finding, is very similar to falling in love. You loose yourself. You pour juice into the coffee, you get dizzy with emotion and your heart is laid wide open for all to see. As Jan sits quietly staring off at thoughts in the air, and Kai touches and smiles down at Caleb, and Max lays his head onto his big brothers lap, I find I am overwhelmed by this unfolding. I am a young girl again on my father's farm. I have just seen a foal being born. It is all legs and it struggles against life and then with it...and we watch Caleb being born again in this same way. He struggles and falls and struggles again. It is in itself a thing of beauty - a wonderment to behold.
I rest my nose beneath his nose before I leave him for the night - each and every night- and I inhale the air he is breathing out and I bless my life for exactly how it is today. Like the sunset - It is beautiful!
I rest my nose beneath his nose before I leave him for the night - each and every night- and I inhale the air he is breathing out and I bless my life for exactly how it is today. Like the sunset - It is beautiful!
Sunday, September 2, 2007
What an amazing day!!!
I have to say that today was one of the best days I have had in the past two months. Sharyn got Red Sox tickets for a Kai, Max, Lizzie, Jan, Timmy, Jim, Ian and I and we all met up in Boston and had an amazing day together. We were sitting in the outfield seats and had a very good view of the field. The weather was beautiful and we had the sun shining on our glowing faces for the whole day. The crowd was crazy and it was just an ocean of red sox hats and t-shirts. Watching 35,ooo people do the WAVE around the huge stadium was a site to see and we were all loving it. ...thank u so much for the tickets Sharyn!!!
After the game I was able to go see Caleb and I was so excited I can not really describe how I was feeling. It has been two weeks since I last saw him and it was our anniversay yesterday..yes, we celebrate our anniversary on the first of every month, for all those people who like to make fun of me for that and call me a dork. Why can't a couple at least take one night of the month to celebrate their love for each other?? When I walked into Caleb's room, he looked so much better then how I saw him last time. His face is filling out more and he was a lot more responsive to me. We played alittle game with each other, where we blow kisses to each other and catch the kiss and then blow it back. It was soo adorable. When he catches my kisses he like smashes them on his lips...We cant kiss on the lips yet because he is still sick, so I'm taking whatever I can get....haha...
And here is the best part of my visit and the funniest. Just so everyone knows, Caleb has not changed at all and you will know what I mean after you read this. I was leaning over Caleb's hospital bed and we were just looking into each others eyes, and I see his hand moving up toward my face, but no..he isnt reaching for my face, he is reaching for my boobs. Yes, caleb presided to grab both of my boobs and pull on the front of my shirt. I was like, "Caleb, your mother is in the room." But he didnt care at all. So everyone rest asure, Caleb is definitly in there and the same as we all remember him.haha.
...i love u baby!!!
After the game I was able to go see Caleb and I was so excited I can not really describe how I was feeling. It has been two weeks since I last saw him and it was our anniversay yesterday..yes, we celebrate our anniversary on the first of every month, for all those people who like to make fun of me for that and call me a dork. Why can't a couple at least take one night of the month to celebrate their love for each other?? When I walked into Caleb's room, he looked so much better then how I saw him last time. His face is filling out more and he was a lot more responsive to me. We played alittle game with each other, where we blow kisses to each other and catch the kiss and then blow it back. It was soo adorable. When he catches my kisses he like smashes them on his lips...We cant kiss on the lips yet because he is still sick, so I'm taking whatever I can get....haha...
And here is the best part of my visit and the funniest. Just so everyone knows, Caleb has not changed at all and you will know what I mean after you read this. I was leaning over Caleb's hospital bed and we were just looking into each others eyes, and I see his hand moving up toward my face, but no..he isnt reaching for my face, he is reaching for my boobs. Yes, caleb presided to grab both of my boobs and pull on the front of my shirt. I was like, "Caleb, your mother is in the room." But he didnt care at all. So everyone rest asure, Caleb is definitly in there and the same as we all remember him.haha.
...i love u baby!!!
I carry your heart with me
And I do carry your heart with me.. all of you! I am humbled by all of this - so good to hear from the "moms"..but damn it Shelly - did you have to tell everyone about the green m&m's? To this day I have the boys trained to give me all the green ones whenever they open a package. When I return to Fleet, I will now be expecting this from all of you.
Let me tell you a bit about the "moms". There was a baby boom back in Fleet in the early 80's ..Cedar and Caleb were some of the first to arrive, followed by Nicole,the two Ryans,Jill,The Litendre girls and Rob,Sky,Mia, Rushby, Kai,Max and Kenneth. Most of us did not have family close by so we started to get together once every week for coffee (which quickly and magically turned into champagne), and this went on for years. This was pure bliss for most of us - being a young mother is so tough..and we bonded in a way that only champagne drinkers can - our kids bonded as well(over milk bottles) and to this day they are like brothers and sisters.. one big, extended family. Nothing could stop us from getting together - we gossiped through a storm till it became apparent that it was treacherous- then we all piled into my Izuzu knowing that Rt. 6 was closed due to a blizzard and drove down the highway following the nearly invisible telephone poles to make our way..dropping moms and kids along the curbs. We have held each other through births,marriages,divorce and life! I cherish these strong women - we should all be so blessed!
Speaking of strong moms..I was in the Chapel at Spaulding a few weeks back and I met this lovely couple. They introduced themselves and not being one who follows the news or generally reads the paper - I didn't recognize the name till they sent me a card. They are the family who's lovely, young daughter went to work as a lifeguard in Western MA. and never came home. They found her remains weeks later. This woman was so loving and caring and was listening to my story when in fact she was living the story from hell. The strength and fortitude of the human spirit is beyond description at times. It is hard to feel sorry for oneself when all you have to do is look around!
Caleb is restful now, and when he is not - he is his usual ball of energy - grabbing at his IV line, biting holes out of his OT balls, angry to be in bed, mad at the world.. but I am not fooled - I have learned that anger is the healthy emotion that pushes us forward towards healing, so I am smiling inside watching this unfold. The day is beautiful, Caleb is healing, his doctors are gorgeous,we are blessed... life is good. Enjoy your day...enjoy yourself,enjoy each other-enjoy your life! mumsie
Let me tell you a bit about the "moms". There was a baby boom back in Fleet in the early 80's ..Cedar and Caleb were some of the first to arrive, followed by Nicole,the two Ryans,Jill,The Litendre girls and Rob,Sky,Mia, Rushby, Kai,Max and Kenneth. Most of us did not have family close by so we started to get together once every week for coffee (which quickly and magically turned into champagne), and this went on for years. This was pure bliss for most of us - being a young mother is so tough..and we bonded in a way that only champagne drinkers can - our kids bonded as well(over milk bottles) and to this day they are like brothers and sisters.. one big, extended family. Nothing could stop us from getting together - we gossiped through a storm till it became apparent that it was treacherous- then we all piled into my Izuzu knowing that Rt. 6 was closed due to a blizzard and drove down the highway following the nearly invisible telephone poles to make our way..dropping moms and kids along the curbs. We have held each other through births,marriages,divorce and life! I cherish these strong women - we should all be so blessed!
Speaking of strong moms..I was in the Chapel at Spaulding a few weeks back and I met this lovely couple. They introduced themselves and not being one who follows the news or generally reads the paper - I didn't recognize the name till they sent me a card. They are the family who's lovely, young daughter went to work as a lifeguard in Western MA. and never came home. They found her remains weeks later. This woman was so loving and caring and was listening to my story when in fact she was living the story from hell. The strength and fortitude of the human spirit is beyond description at times. It is hard to feel sorry for oneself when all you have to do is look around!
Caleb is restful now, and when he is not - he is his usual ball of energy - grabbing at his IV line, biting holes out of his OT balls, angry to be in bed, mad at the world.. but I am not fooled - I have learned that anger is the healthy emotion that pushes us forward towards healing, so I am smiling inside watching this unfold. The day is beautiful, Caleb is healing, his doctors are gorgeous,we are blessed... life is good. Enjoy your day...enjoy yourself,enjoy each other-enjoy your life! mumsie
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Letters//Emails of Support
Many of you have been asking where you can send letters in support of Shaye's legal situation. Shaye has spoken with his lawyer and was told that letters could be submitted to the judge before the court appearance date. This may be very helpful!
If you wish to send an email or letter it would be helpful to include the following information:
To whom it may concern
Name
Date
Position in the community
How you know both parties involved
Your thoughts on the entire situation and
A hand written signature
Letters can be sent to Shaye via post. But also just a REGULAR EMAIL to Shaye with the greeting to the District Attorney//Judge would be just fine! Shaye will print//collect them and hand them over to his lawyer.
shayecavanaugh@yahoo.com
Shaye Cavanaugh
80 Peace Valley Rd.
Wellfleet MA.
02667
If you wish to send an email or letter it would be helpful to include the following information:
To whom it may concern
Name
Date
Position in the community
How you know both parties involved
Your thoughts on the entire situation and
A hand written signature
Letters can be sent to Shaye via post. But also just a REGULAR EMAIL to Shaye with the greeting to the District Attorney//Judge would be just fine! Shaye will print//collect them and hand them over to his lawyer.
shayecavanaugh@yahoo.com
Shaye Cavanaugh
80 Peace Valley Rd.
Wellfleet MA.
02667
Living out loud indeed!
So all my blah, blah, blahing yesterday and I could have chosen those three words to describe Caleb. My three words should be :simplify, simplify, simplify! And he continues to live out loud - really what all your quotes and messages were about yesterday..thanks for supporting me on that one - I felt I might be going out on a limb just a bit and I felt that limb start to split.
So fall is in the air up here, students are moving in, the streets are lined with U Hauls. Kai and Max are packing up two trucks and will drive to Western Mass to settle Kai into school with his lovely girlfriend, Liz. Caleb is moving as well - back to Ellison 12 - just across the hall. Actually back to where we began. I feel renewed, energized and ready to move forward. I finally got around to joining the MGH health club yesterday and will be lifting weights on Monday so that when the time comes and I have to help with Calebs' physical therapy, I will have stamina. I am feeling fat and sassy after eating all this hospital food and I prefer thin and sassy.
Have I told you today how much I adore you? It is a beautiful day and I have set my intention for the day...to focus on health and well-being for the "Lebster". He is sound asleep now and looks like an angel (oh how he continues to fool me). All of your encouraging words, thoughts and dreams have moved Caleb back into the fast track and we are one with Mario Andretti! I am only concerned about one thing -what is it he will choose to be now that all of you have become pirates! We are well- thanks to you! Love, mumsie
So fall is in the air up here, students are moving in, the streets are lined with U Hauls. Kai and Max are packing up two trucks and will drive to Western Mass to settle Kai into school with his lovely girlfriend, Liz. Caleb is moving as well - back to Ellison 12 - just across the hall. Actually back to where we began. I feel renewed, energized and ready to move forward. I finally got around to joining the MGH health club yesterday and will be lifting weights on Monday so that when the time comes and I have to help with Calebs' physical therapy, I will have stamina. I am feeling fat and sassy after eating all this hospital food and I prefer thin and sassy.
Have I told you today how much I adore you? It is a beautiful day and I have set my intention for the day...to focus on health and well-being for the "Lebster". He is sound asleep now and looks like an angel (oh how he continues to fool me). All of your encouraging words, thoughts and dreams have moved Caleb back into the fast track and we are one with Mario Andretti! I am only concerned about one thing -what is it he will choose to be now that all of you have become pirates! We are well- thanks to you! Love, mumsie
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