what will be!

Even the doctors eyes reveal that he does not know how this mystery kid does it! The IV. line went directly into the brain and now those powerful antibiotics are being pumped into the source of infection. What I didn't share with you yesterday was the long list of "what can go wrong" items spewing from the doctors mouth while we are nearly comatose and numb from listening. Did you ever see the Gary Larson cartoon where the dog's master is talking and all the dog hears is bla, bla, bla, Ginger? After awhile we are all hearing blah, blah, blah. It is too frightening what he is telling us and the anguish in my other two sons' eyes is now echoing the Doctors. Yellowbeard does not pay attention. His mind is somewhere else, concentrating on what will be - not what is. After hours of staring into space and blankly at each other the Doctor finally returns to tell us that he has never had that procedure go so well in all the years he has done this. Thank you Yellowbeard for staying with us and for keeping the flame glowing bright even when your own mother falters and flickers on low beam. This bacteria is strong, we are told and very contagous. For the next 3 weeks we will be dressed in gowns, plastic caps and gloves prior to entering the room and I am trying to convince the nurses that accessories are key here!
I want to thank the nurse from the Cape hospital, the children who hang pirate flags, old girlfriends, the women who feel from the heart, the fathers who follow along in silent strength, all of you who keep us going with wishes, hopes and messages of love. I read these aloud to whomever is here - and to the cleaning lady who now does not want to go on vacation because she wants to watch over Caleb. We laugh out loud and fight back tears and dare to dream of better days ahead because of you. I can tell you that when we return I will be looking forward to seeing all of you there along Main St. - smiling,knowing, peaceful faces - ones I recognize and many that I don't yet, joined for the sole purpose of recognizing that our children are our future - our hope. We stand by them all. ... For God's sake - please bring food - this boy will have the appetite of a tape worm! Mumsie is well - we are complete!