There is a book titled "Animal Speaks". The premise is that when you repeatedly see the same animal and it speaks to you in some way - you can look up the animal, read about its' spirit - this correlates to you and what is going on with you at the time. Kai, Max and I have long known that Caleb's animal spirit is the fox - cunning, cleaver, a scrapper, a survivor. When it spots it's prey, instead of going at it - it will play, roll over and convince the other animal that it is no threat till it's close enough to go in for the kill. Caleb spots them all the time. I am beginning to think he is also part Tom cat as well.. he has so many lives! We are on the 4th as of last night..he was a breath away from leaving us- temperature steadily rising, burning to the touch, white blood count soaring, doctors looking grim and talking in the corner,gaunt, lifeless, family holding in breath. Once again he pulled together all his cunning to fight death away. Cat life number 4. Today he is stable -back in Neuro IC, temps down to normal and responding to commands. I don't know how and sometimes I don't know why he makes it through. I truly found myself praying for him to make it and then praying he would let go and end his pain.. this is raw! We are hangin in!
Upon reflecting on him all night long, I realize that Caleb makes me want to be not only a better mother but a better person as well. He is honest, where I tend to stretch the truth, he is happy to just be himself..I spent my energy for years on being someone I was not - they fashioned the Stepford wives from my personality. Kai says that Caleb's personality is the same when he is around old people or little children...he is just true to himself, kind to all, and he loves equally. Today I am going to spend my energy trying to right my wrongs and I invite you, in the spirit of Caleb to do the same. The word grudge does not exist in Caleb's vocabulary. Allow yourself to be a bit more like him today and see through his eyes.. life will look more splendid to you I am certain. Caleb is always asking more of us just by demonstrating who he is -
I have found a new place so that I can continue to stay by Caleb's side - yet another person has stepped up and is allowing a means for me to stay in Boston. I am so grateful to Dennis for giving me his place up to this point. He is stellar person - energetic,honest and generous, successful,handsome and smart- gives me faith in men again. He is the kind of guy a girl could easily fall for - but let's face it - I am 54 and I think he is maybe 35 and that is just a little too old for me!
We are well - holding it together and realizing that Caleb opens up all kinds of probabilities and possibilities as we trudge through our day. Life experience with him is never dull or certain..we ride the waves with him. We hit the bottom and it hurts like hell and we worry that our boards are broken forever. We are on top of the swell again and we are expanding and pulsing. There is no place or thought that is off limits to us - we choose life for him and for ourselves! Love, mumsie
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
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Hi,
I am from Central MA and this past week my family and I spent time in Chatham. We drove to Wellfleet one night and we looked around the town center and ate dinner, but most importantly, everywhere we looked, be it the Town Hall green, stores, restaurant windows, or bulletin boards, we saw pictures of Caleb and signs encouraging everyone to pray for him. That night, when we returned to our rental in Chatham, we were eager to find out more about Caleb, for it was evident that he is so loved. I am now captivated by his story. You keep writing about how you don't know where he gets his strength or how he pulls through, but I think that his courage comes from you. He is so lucky to have friends and family like you guys and you get him through each day. Keep staying strong and I wish you, Caleb, his brothers, and all of your family and the Wellfleet community best of luck.
Kate, age 20
God bless you Sharyn, you have the strength of a thousand women.
Caleb is amazing. My thoughts and prayers are with him and your whole family every day.
Sharyn
I don't think that Caleb could have asked for a better mother. Please be gentle with yourself today. You are a beautiful and strong woman. God bless you.
Dear Stepford Mum,
You've always been my role model in mothering and living. Someday I hope to be half the mother you are. Remember our sauna sessions at the Norseman? Or how about that New Year's Eve when we didn't have anything to do and you had us over for a fire and you made donuts. I mean, who makes donuts? I've always looked up to you.
It's funny you talk about grudges not existing for Caleb...it's so true. He'd always give me space to hold mine, and then, when my time was up call or text me and say simply, "You can't be mad at me forever." Of course I was never mad for any good reason, and he'd remind me of that, and we'd go back to normal (if normal is dumping mixtures of mayonnaise, rotten eggs, orange juice and who-knows-what-else on each other's heads!). It's just one of the many million things I love about him.
Glad things stabilized today...I still get so worried. I miss you and can't wait to see you again. And I think you should definitely go for Dennis.
In fact, I'm sure Dennis reads this. Dr. Dennis, you should ask Sharyn out.
And come to our auction. (Can't miss an opportunity for publicity!)
Love,
Morgan
thank u all for your prayers,
this is jennie, caleb's girlfriend. i was just sitting with him, and he is doing alittle better this morning. last night was a scare, but once again, he is pulling through and fighting. he has another infection to beat, but he is reacting well to the medication and was squeezing my hand and looking into my eyes this morning. It had been two weeks since i had last seen caleb, and i missed him dearly. the past three years that we have spent together have been unbelievable, and i feel so lucky to be apart of this amazing family. This is something we are going to get through and I can not wait till he wakes up and we can snuggle and fall asleep next to eachother again. Keep the prayers coming because they are working. i love u all.
Hi Sharyn,
Again, I will say..."Write a book, Woman". Don't let that talent of your's go to waste. Today's blog was wonderfully written. We thank you so much for all the heart-felt energy that you put into your writings. Stay well, and kiss the Lad for us. Give an extra one to Uncle Poop for the little Caleb back in Fleet.
~Nicole Miner & Fam.
We love you!!! :)
Hi Sharyn, Jenni,caleb, max and kai. All of you are the captains on this ship, dealing with unpredictable winds and learning how to steer through the gusts. As you coast when your on the right path, there are so many friends to help you along your way. I miss you all dearly. thanks for the incredible words Sharyn. Xo love you all! Grace
Hey Sharyn,
Lastnight i went to the concert at the church. It was filled with beautiful music and lots of love. The Parkington sisters sang a song about home and i started to cry. Wellfleet is my home, it has always been the place i wanted to be even after college. Its such a special place and along with the place comes my friends, the kids i grew up with. Caleb. We may not have hung out together everynight like he did with others but we were always friends no matter how much time went between us. I miss randomly seeing him on the street. I don't believe in any religion but i do believe we become a part of the earth when we leave it. When my grandpa passed away (which killed me inside) he became the wind in my mind. Everytime i think of Caleb and wish him well, gusts of wind appear out of nowhere. Thats my gramps..and i know he is watching out for him. Caleb has got a great "wind" angel on his side. No worries.
And sorry..just so you know who the random person was who left that last message about their grampa, it was me, Arozana :). Much love.
Fox is # 25 in the Medicine Card deck (Caleb's age) "Camouflage" Fox has the ability to adapt to winter by changing color, like the chameleon..(thus explaining him being blonde, then not so blonde), Fox medicine involves adaptability, cunning, observation, integration & swiftness of thought in action (very Caleb-like) These traits may include quick decisiveness and sure- footedness in the physical world.
Foxes ability to be unseen at times allows it to be the protector of the family unit.. If danger arises Fox is johnny-on- the- spot. Fox is always concerned with safety of family members and is an excellent talisman for those traveling far afield.
Much like the clowns at the rodeo Fox can keep the raging bull from stampeding a friend, or family member.. Fox can use silly tactics as a brilliant camouflage move.. No one could guess the sly power behind such ingenious moves.
Fox embraces opportunity and flourishes, encouraging you to take on life with positivity.
Hang on tight Caleb, our prayers are with you every moment of each day.. we love you.
Deep, deep, cleansing breaths today...
We are thinking of Caleb and the whole Potter family. He is lucky to have the love and the support of such a great family, a wonderful town, and a community of strangers like myself who see that Caleb represents a strong strong spirit of life!
Sharyn
Caleb sounds like the best of us when we aren't watching ourselves. Spirits such as his are rare in that this spirit has been nurtured and encouraged to thrive and be at peace where it is, not where it thinks it should be (like most of us).
You have obviously been that nurturing force and that comes through in your writing.
Even in an injured state Caleb seems to bring that out of people, you bring that out of people and encourage people to explore this within themselve as you are doing now.
I recall the story of the good shepard. "He tends to his flock." Even in a hospital bed Caleb tends to his flock,through you, an ever growing flock of folks he may never meet.
Peace, rest, recovery - for you all.
Ah yes, I learned all about "Sharyn-the-Stepford-Wife" when I stumbled on the TRUE secret of your pie crusts (for your sake, and your image, I'll refrain from a public revelation). But you're wrong about one thing: the real Sharyn, the one revealed these weeks in your blog entries—honest, protective, fierce, funny,and most of all loving—always always emerged whenever you spoke of your three boys. You didn't fool anyone.
Keep the faith.
Love, Paula
We are thinking and praying for Caleb,
his family, and their collective spirits!!
Please keep up the hard work Caleb, hold on and power through this, there has to be a light at the end of the tunnel.
Sharyn and Jen, Your comments are heart breaking and heart filling. We out here in Western MA continue to read about and think about Caleb every day. When there wasn't a post for over 24 hours, I was quite anxious. Now I see there was a reason to be worried, but I am so relieved that Caleb is doing better. Our prayers continue to be with you all.
Amy
Each day of your journey teaches me something new.
Sharyn, Caleb, Kai, Max, Jenni, Jan...to the Potter family....We think of Caleb everyday since a month ago we visited Cape Cod. We send our prayers and thoughts for you all from Manchester UK...as others who have posted, although we dont know you, we are captivated by the strength and love shown each day on this website and in your community....Ali Andy and Tenaya
you amaze me...
Sharyn,
I weep as I write you today...your strength is amazing....I am so glad Caleb pulled through last night. The concert in the church was beautiful and special...all thoughts and energy your way. I have to admit I woke up last night around 1:00 AM in a cold sweat....I think I've shared with you before the story of when my grandfather died( he was in PA in a nursing home) I smelled him in my bedroom in the middle of the night...he always wore the same cologne, lilac vegital, it was really bizarre... so the next morning I called my folks to ask how he was doing and they said he had died in the night about the same time I smelled his cologne....something similar happened when my grandmother died. Well, last night I was doing my nightly mantra in my head and visualizing healing light and I concentrate on the light as it swirls behind my closed eyelids...sometimes it forms shapes or faces....usually just swirling beautiful blobs of light...as I was repeating the mantra for Calebs healing, the light broke apart and went into very small specks of light and I tried to concentrate on bringing the light together again as one... when it disappeared...no light at all...this has never happened... I woke up in a cold sweat and started pacing...confused...wondering, had something happened to Caleb? I woke Gary and shared my fears and he thought I should just go back to bed! When I did I tried the mantra again and a very faint white light appeared....I squinted and opened and closed my eyes hoping the light would be more prominant....after about an hour...now about 3AM....little balls of light started to form and within about twenty minutes the swirling peaceful mass was back....WHEW! I was able to rest and was actually trepidatous to log on today...afraid of not so good news......I am so happy...he is SO strong..you are SO strong and please don't sell yourself short....you are a good friend and an amazing Mom. Rest today....god knows I need a nap too! My thoughts and prayers are with you daily....cat/fox Caleb pulled another majic trick last night and he's now ready for the real recovery and healing....love ya' stepford mumsie....jodi
Dear Sharyn-
As always I looked forwards to todays entry and feared that something was wrong as the morning passed. As I read my heart hurt and my eyes filled with tears. I was glad to hear that the morning brought a bit of peace to Caleb.
Nights always seem to be the hardest when somone is in pain. Then the sun rises and you take a breath and relize you made it through yet another night. I am so sorry that anyone has to endure such pain as you and your family have. You are such an amazing person, those boys are so lucky to have the love and support you give. Don't forget to BREATH and take a moment to yourself tonight.
All my love to you and Caleb.
P-Town Girl
My mantra to Caleb -Whatever you need to do I send love. Since the 4th of July I have felt certain Caleb would be fine- what that would mean for him / you/ us is unfolding each moment. Sending healing light..chosing life and love..Sharyn- get outside for a few minutes for a recharge. Hugs,. ann m.
Hi Sharyn, Kai, Max, Jenni, and Jan,
I'm so happy to hear that Caleb is doing better. My heart goes out to all of you.
You have no idea how many people you have touched since Caleb's tragic accident. Your wonderfully written blog makes us rethink how we live our lives and how we treat those around us.
I pray that Caleb's road to recovery continues at a steady pace and that we see you all soon.
love, monica
It's amazing how people, as well as myself, are anxious when time passes without a new entry on the blog... kept on checking the site almost every hour...although I don't know Caleb or you, Sharyn, in person ... you are such a wonderful person, a true inspiration... your entries a written beautifully!!!! Thank you!
I believe in your and, especially in Caleb's strength!
Love from Germany
i don't know caleb, but i sure would never go up against a pirate as mighty as he... rather I would raise my mug and drink with him until the sun did rise...keep fighting the good fight and bring that ship home!!!
Keep your chin up. You're still going to take the punches, but keep your chin up. May you have the strength to keep it sticking way out there and keep coming back for more. May the punches lose their sting but leave you stronger than before. When you let yourself go and say you can't take any more, have a good cry, beat the floor, get comfort but keep coming back.
Keep up the courage and strength until victory is at hand.
We love you.
Sharyn -
Stepford wife - I don't think so! You're a wonderful, true person. Don't be so hard on yourself.
And your kids - you have done a great job as a mother. Let's face it - the best we can give our kids is unconditional love. Everything else is extra. If kids get the safety and security from you as babies, plus your love, they will be fine. They are are on their own life path and we have to respect that. We can give them a little (emphasis on little) advice, but they have all the goodness they need already.
And as a wife - you've probably been one of the best. Men don't grow up at the same time as women. You do your best, but if it's not working, you must get out. That's not to say they won't eventually realize that what you've been about is what they want to be about also. But usually much later - and with someone else that they happen to be with at the time.
Life is a crap shoot. We all stand behind you and your kids and pray for the best.
(Miss our Thursday phone calls!) Love ya - Sylvia
Sharyn,
You do not know me nor does Caleb but I have friends and family that are lucky enough to call him a friend. Just to let you know if you ever find that you need a place to stay you, your family and friends will always be welcome in my home. I live about 10-15 minutes from MGH right off storrow drive. Call 617-208-8300 if you ever find yourself in need. At any hour of the night or day.
Peace Love and Joy to you all
First of all I'm so glad Caleb pulled through again! My heart goes out to you.
Secondly, I'll go out on a limb here and be the first guy to comment to you on your post. All of your words here, your gardens and yourself all have one thing in common. Completely beautiful!! You can stop smiling now!! Do you know why pencils have erasers? Because people make mistakes! We all have. No one escapes that problem. Looking back is history. Looking forward is what we can make the most of. Stay just the way you are and bring us back Caleb to the Fleet!
Arrrrrrrr,
Kevin
Our prayers continue to go out to all of you. Yesterday we were at a DVS (skateboard) demo and today we were at an Element (skateboard) demo. The whole DVS team and Element team sends its prayers and thoughts. They read some of the comments I printed out and promised to check the website and keep Caleb in their thoughts.
Bless all of you
Denise
Dear Sharyn and family,
The roller coaster ride once again... and Caleb came through after last night. What amazing wonderful news! Once again we give you our continued thoughts and prayers. Guests here at the inn continue to ask who Caleb is and like so many others have expressed their interest and concerns. We hope that tomorrow there will be more good news. Please get some rest. Good night wonderful Mumsie,
The Young Family
Sharyn, Jennie, Caleb, everyone- this morning I checked the blog and found no new posts from Sharyn. It had been two days. Like so many others, I was worried but hopeful.
This evening after work I tackled some yard work. I cut away some oak saplings and brush where our yard meets the woods, and in so doing, I uncovered a little wild rose bush. There's a story behind this bush. On the very day that my daughter returned home after a lengthy and excruciating hospital stay (several years ago) we learned of its existence. We arrived home from the hospital to find that it bore a single pink rose, the first it had ever produced since we'd lived here, and so stood out in sharp relief against the green woods. It was our first summer in this house, so we were unaware that it was even there. We'd been away so long that all of our grass was dead, weeds had taken over, but we felt the emergence of this little rose was sort of a harbinger of rebirth, a fitting welcome home.
Tonight when I pulled back the weeds and uncovered the bush once again, I thought of Caleb and his long journey back home. There is no rose yet this year. The bush is looking a little rough around the edges, but it's still alive, still there after all these years, untended, wild, hanging tough. I wondered how Caleb was doing, hoped there hadn't been a setback. Now I know... and I'm so sorry to learn of what you've all been through this past couple of days.
Our family has had a glimpse into the world you are in now, albeit long ago; the memories are frighteningly fresh. Please know that we, like all of your old friends and new stranger-friends on here, are keeping Caleb front and center in our hearts and in our prayers. We are all looking forward to the arrival of his rose.
Jerry G
hey to Sharyn, Caleb and crew...you know ...all...who you are!!!Yesterday night a sweet wonderfilled Congo church celebrated Music and Cape Cod...and Caleb.....Today I finished Barry Clifford's Whydah book....and visited the Pirate Museum....so much to this Pirate of ours....and the Fleet...and the Pirates that love each other ....and know it ....and show it.....and then a bunch of us went out on HINDU and celebrated Birthdays....and Moondays...and Tuesdays...and together days.....on the waters around Provincetown....and then GB and I came home and read yr blog together.....WHEW... I had wondered..all day....and now we know.!!!...that the tide withdrew for a while....(Thank you JOdi, for hanging in there, too)....and now the Tide has come back in....whew!!!Tomorrow...on my b'day I will swing by Sharyn land...and snap a few pics of yr gardens...for those of "us" that may NOT know you that way....and send them to sky in Denmark....and soon they will grace these pages..in an effort to echo the comment made ...hmmmm....maybe only a few days ago.....that YOU....mumsie...are even more beautiful than yr gardens.....We Love you.....the Fleet loves you....and we're there for you all...light!ly....ch...and the scatterlings
Dear Sharyn, I wish that pain shared could somehow lighten it for others. My tears and hope and prayers have been flowing freely all summer for you and Caleb, Jen, Kai, Max and Jan. Please tell Caleb, even in his sleep, to float gently on the beautiful aqua sea that he loves, and let it help heal him gently. Sharyn, I float you too, you must be so drained. Be easy on yourself too! You have given so much positive energy and beauty to this town, and this world that you have earned everyone's love and respect! You are an awesome mom, too. You helped me raise Ben, right. And you brought me food at home each time I ended up in the hospital. So many times you helped me! I don't think that you know that just when I met you that I was struggling to be with my Mom who was in Mass Gen ICU for 14 months as a result of a bad accident, while raising Zoe and Ben. I was ripped apart trying to be a so strong link in the chain. I learned all kinds of medical things I never wanted to know. I know you know what I mean. And thank you so much for helping me with Ben! Last night I dreamed of you. I was helping you, by listening and talking. It was gentle and I was combing your hair, as if to sooth you. I just wish things coukd be that simple! Please do me another favor, and tell all three of your boys that they are easy to love!!! In my heart every day..... love, Andrea, with Geoff, Zoe, and Ben
Dear Sharyn,
I repeat.....what a MOM and what a TEACHER....AMAZING!!!!!! My daily prayers are with you and Caleb and of course Kai & Max. Margie
Dear Sharyn,
We echo relief that Caleb has weathered another bad storm. The concert that same night was incredible--so full of life! We expected acoustic to be quiet, and there were quietly beautiful songs--but also uproarious jazz, with brass, piano, keyboard, wonderful voices, all kinds of strings, clapping = musical prayer! A good crowd, too.
Dave filmed it from the balcony, so you can enjoy it later on DVD when things calm down...they WILL calm down.
Sending blessings across the bay,
Janet and Dave
You are amazing Sharyn and an inspiration to all. Think positive and stop beating yourself up. Obviously reading this Caleb has so many that love and care from him, but just as many are here for you. When Caleb is back home in Wellfleet and things become calm and back to normal, copy all of your posts and a few from us minions and write the book. It will be such a great example for all mothers, fathers, brother, sisters and friends around the world.
You are stronger than you think, you are beautiful beyond words, and you are loved.
p.s. Dr. Dennis...the time may not be right to make your move now, but someday soon...J
Whew! Amy had told me of the latest update (we talk on the phone just about every day-sometimes twice) but when I read your blog this morning when I got to work my eyes filled with tears (not the first time)and I had a lump in my throat. Yet another test and the mighty,steadfast Caleb found his way back one more time. The strength that comes from you and him Sharyn,is totally overwhelming and I feel that it will continue to be there for as long as it takes.I hope and pray that all will be calm very soon. My love to you and the boys. Penny,on St.John.Take good care of youself too.
I visited Wellfleet last week - a much needed R&R getaway
While in town and all around the Cape really I got constant reminders of Caleb's situation. I spoke to shopkeepers, people in the market. I was overwhelmed by the level of love, the care, the willpower of everyone. Of the specific events, readings plus. I purchased a bracelet (black) for Caleb - it is on my right wrist and will not come off until all is well. It is a powerful reminder to me about how precious lives are and the power of one person. I cannot thank you enough for providing me with inspiration - I feel like I know Caleb - I have told many others about him - and you - and the town of Wellfleet - before I thought it was just a picturesque beautiful town - and it is that - but much more.
I have shared the need to wear helmets with many.
While I am saddened by the events and the pain you are experiencing, I cannot tell you how impactful your strength is for me. Your "Stepford Wife" reference is a classic - and I love that you can be encouraged and laugh and stay positive - because it matters.
I could go on and on but I will finish with the fact that Caleb is in my prayers - and I look forward to visiting Wellfleet again - and sharing the joy of his recovery with all of the wonderful people who support you and your family.
Best wishes from a new friend
Bryan Mullen
Port Washington, NY
Sometimes running a shoppe in the center could get a little ho-hum. The same bottles of rum, six packs of beer and maybe a new zinfandel but when a Caleb would come in wth that twinkle and grin or Sharyn with her hopefully winning lottery ticket or her boots she thought were new to her but were hers all along
they would make my day !!!! I would watch them walk over to the bench and eat their lunch and smile. I wish I could make your day today.
I do wish you love and the knowing that you are enough each and every day. kolleen
I continue to pray and hold you all in my heart and thoughts
love, Maryann
I knew the first time I visited Wellfleet 10 years ago that it was a very special place. Over the years of trips there I have met many special people. I just put it together that my husband and I met you, Sharyn, in 2005 and you moved a lilac bush for us to save it from our construction at our house on Drummer Cove. It is growing well and it will always be a reminder of you and your dear Caleb for us. He is in my thoughts daily. Love and good wishes...Diane and Jim Davis
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