Thanks for all the new title suggestions - I think I'll remain just plain ole mumsie - but they did produce a good laugh. What a creative bunch you are! This is day two where we have continued to received good news and progress. Caleb was in his chair today when I arrived and since the Neuro team said I could allow family members to visit -- Kai and Max are again here with me. Caleb was throwing punches at them when they held palms up --this change is radical from where we were even three days ago when Caleb lay motionless and lifeless.
Caleb is scheduled for a ink procedure at oneo'clock to determine why the antibiotics are not reaching to the left frontal lobe of his brain and this, I am in hopes will be our last stumbling block..he can't afford another surgery in a vulnerable place and so we are going to concentrate on just making that area open by sheer willpower.....be with him on this one please!
The professional skateboarding teams: DVS and Element sent Caleb some cool autographed posters and their best wishes. We thank them for contacting us even tho they don't know Caleb( like lots of you who are with us). On the subject of skateboardig -- mumsie is going to give a lecture - don't worry - it will be gentle. For all of you with the best intentions who want to lecture about safety and helmets - forget it! This story is not about helmets--- this story is about being aware of where you are each and every waking moment of your life and being certain you are aligned with who you really are - not being alligned with yourself is what causes accidents- not the lack of helmets - I met a woman at Spaulding who has similar injuries who fell in a shower - are we all to wear helmets in the shower now? As I mentioned earlier, Caleb was in a lot of emotional pain at the time of his accident - the situation surrounding this emotional pain is incidental but what is not is that Caleb was suffering and not putting himself first, as so many of us do. Again, this does not require blame -it is only a gentle reminder to pay attention to our inner thoughts and desires, to make things right with ourselves, and in my case as a parent - to pay close attention to my children and help them when they are suffering, instead of walking the line and standing back as I did. I have learned the hard way that putting yourself first does not have to be in any way selfish. If you learn nothing else from this blog and from me it is this - live your life fully, take chances, be full of yourself..and for Gods' sake pay attention to what makes you happy. Thoughts are all we have - you can change each moment by changing your thought- choose to be happy, choose to be positive, choose to change - do things that make you vibrate in positiveness. The greatest gift Caleb has taught me was that from early on, he intended to be himself. That meant at times I did not like what I was hearing from him, but I could always count on his honesty. I always knew where we stood! Caleb is always just himself and being yourself ensures that you will be consistent, and that engenders trust. Being himself meant that he would jump off of houses, fall purposefully out of trees, tumble down dunes and that he would always do things his way. He would stick up for friends in spite of the fact that he would end up in court...I am not trying to convince you to parent as I do - you get to choose for yourself.- but I am saying that I will not be asking Kai or Max or Caleb to wear a helmet in the future. Caleb is in bed before my eyes and I still say I will embrace diversity. OK..I am finished and will sign off with the most important quote I have ever seen -"Rough it up good- don't let anything dangerous change your mind." Caleb Potter - written 2 weeks after having suffered tramatic brain injuries! Mumsie
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27 comments:
hey old lady,
I think the wearing helmets thing all day long sounds good(Maybe a new craze). And lets not bring up the speaking up for his friends incident. Sounds like he is doing well. You also sound recharged. Let the healing begin. Tell caleb I said hi.
Much Love
Uncle Judith and fam
p.s. Get better uncle poop
love
Mini Judi
Ah, I loved that quote the first time you shared it Sharyn. I've repeated it to myself several times. It might be perfect. It might even be another contender for the title for your book. Little long though. It beats the title of the book that Jason and I wrote about our lives... "WHEN MEN SCREAM" Of course, you have to remember that Jay and I met in prison- right Sharyn? We love you guys and are thinking about you each day. Neil and Carrie
Mum Sharyn,
Envisioning Caleb sitting up and throwing punches made me smile! Isn't it amazing how quickly the body and spirit can heal itself?! A day after my daughter had lost 75% of her blood, she stood with help (-well, she did faint, but not on the next try a few hours later.:)) He's a lucky man to have so much love around him to keep his soul going strong.....oftentimes the emotional aspect of healing is ignored by the docs, and that's where family and friends come in.
Don't be hard on yourself, sometimes standing back is the right position for a mum to take. And, sometimes we only know in retrospect what the "right" thing was. Give yourself a hug mum, you're a great one.
Sending all the best, most strengthening thoughts Caleb's way,
and envisioning that left frontal lobe opening to be healed,
Pam K in VT
Mumsie,
I just returned from a week of classes and competitive sailboat racing on J24's in Newport, RI. I am black and blue all over and have never felt so damn good and pummelled at the same time! It was a glorious adventure for this 40-something year old. Team Perfection as we were called came in first. Of the nine races we were in we consistantly kept our lead. Ernesto, Keith, Ash and I made up Team Perfection. We weren't perfect BUT we won hands down! I was the spinaker princess. I never thought I'd be proud to be Newport's finest pole girl :-) This week was part of my MBA program -- teambuilding under stress was its goal. And we did it. I say all this because you are absolutely right and so is Caleb. Rough it up! It's what makes life so fantastic. So here's to a BIG, BIG AAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG to Caleb. Looking forward to seeing you, Mumsie and your brothers back in Fleet. We're heading down to our cottage in P-town tonight for three or four days -- of course we'll stop in Fleet first to offer more prayers, hope and energy to strengthen and heal Caleb and to embrace the entire Potter clan.
Chris had told me that Caleb had written that down. Just shows what an amazing person that Caleb is.
As far as you...You are TOO funny. I Love You!!! ;) The way that you write shows that you are a like PUMA, and that if someone tries to endanger or harm your babies in any way....YOU'LL POUNCE!!! LOL. Good for you. That is what all Mother's should do.
I hope that people follow your way of parenting. Always protect your children with every power of your being, but let them be free and independant at the same time.
LOVE YA,SHARYN
-NICOLE MINER
Through adversity comes a renewed wisdom and reality of what is really the core of what is important. Thank you Sharyn for sharing your experience with us.
Continued blessings to Caleb, Sharyn, Kai and Max.
I have never met you or Caleb, but feel such a strong pull to you both from this blog. My own children are 9 and 6. When I read your stories of Caleb as a child I always think of my son. My honest wish to the universe is that my son and daughter grow up to be as honest, strong, forthright, and adventurous as your Caleb. and that I may be as strong and loving a parent as you. My positive thoughts are with you and your family.
Miss Chief I mean Mumsie,
"My Pirates Prayers" should definitely be your book title. The thoughts you stimulate with your writing are what "wanna be writers" wish they could do! Check how many people are reading your story of Caleb and the trials and tribulations of motherhood here! Your making people want to be a better person to everyone. That's a gift.
Caleb throwing punches at his brothers is awesome. He is Wellfleet's Muhammad Ali, a born fighter! My money is on him.
Kevin
Sharyn - So happy to hear Caleb is stronger. It was great to see you. Choosing fear or love...it all boils down to these choices. There is no time to live half strength now. I love the spirit of embacing the moment ,every breath we have a choice..peace,joy and happiness..We may have been unconventional mother's but we have wonderful kids- You are delightful, take care. ann m
ya know.. i stubbed my toe the other day and jesus if i didn't RUN (limp) out to get a toe helmet, but they just didn't have one my size....so now i've decided...!@$!*% it...i'm just gonna get full body armor and call it a day!
you are right. it is all about being aware and mindful. and happy...following our bliss. thanks for the reminder. love to caleb et al. lisa
I was recently in Wellfleet for vacation and of course saw all of the signs regarding Caleb. I finally asked a clerk in the store, "Who is Caleb?" She said he was injured in a skateboarding accident.
"But no, I thought, who IS Caleb?" Who is this boy with the beautiful smile that has inspired an entire town? I knew there had to be more to the story. And now that I have read each and every blog, I think I understand so much more.
I don't know Caleb but we all know people who light up a room with their presence, who have the spirt of adventure that we admire, and who we are all better for knowing. From the comments of Caleb's family and friends, I can see that he is one of those amazing people. I can actually picture him walking down Main Street in a pirate's costume!
Please know how inspirational this blog is and that Caleb's story transcends borders. I will continue to read on and carry you all in my thoughts.
Thanks for being such a great mother, not just to your three sons, but to us as well. We are so proud of the way you look at this entire situation. In the end, all that matters is love, laughter, and vino! I was having a horrible day a month ago on my brother's birthday- one of those days everything went wrong. As I sped past the Eastham town hall heading to Fleet as fast as possible, I forgot I was going to the registry. After driving back through Eastham and parking I noticed there was a blood drive at the town hall. The regigsty said I had to go to Yarmouth to swith registrations so that was another slap in the face to add to the rest of that day. I went into town hall to give blood for the first time with caleb on my mind. I've never weighed 110lbs so I was happy to be a little chubber this summer! I knew my blood could save a life and I needed something good to happen. Of corse the whole time I was in there, Cheryl Crow was playing ( I can't stand her!) and I realized the bad luck was in the air for me that day. I was told 2-3 lives could be saved with my blood and left my morning curse behind and kept that thought close for the rest of the day. I just recieved my blood doning card in the mail and was happy to to finally know my blood type- B POSITIVE!!!!! I now know that B-ing POSITIVE is what I was meant to do, and helping spread that around Wellfleet has been my mission all summer. Caleb has tought me a lot of wonderful things over the years and we are looking forward to the progession to come from him in the weeks to come. No matter how far away he is from Fleet, he is here in our thoughts, our hearts, and our prayers. Thanks for all the kisses the other night, Sharyn. You are an amazing second (&third) mother to us. We look forward to seeing you and those fabulous earings soon!
Love and Blessings~ Your Wellfleet Phamily xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Sounds good to me Sharyn..
That quote of his has changed a lot in me.. screw fear.. what's the point in worrying in outcomes all the time?? That Caleb is just the best.. the one thing I have always adored about him is his confidence in being HIM! I am beyond content knowing he is throwing punches at his lil bro's.. & I fully agree that looking out for ourselves is crucial.. be kind, considerate of others, but look out for the best interest for you & your loved ones!
You amaze me everyday Ms. Lindsay!! Caleb too.. XO.. Feliz Viernes! ~Clance
you have a wonderful point, but i will be wearing my helmet skateboarding
I found myself wondering lastnight as i watch the fireworks, how Caleb was doing today, and it wasnt the same not seeing him there. But then i realized we all had talked about him as the night went on, and i look around and we have our caleb gear on..whether stickers on bikes, pirate flags on our cars( or stuck in our hair)he was with us in spirit. WE MISS YOU CALEB..... were all waiting for ya!
What incredible wisdom and insight. I am so grateful to you for sharing so much. I was in Wellfleet for just a few days in mid-July but was profoundly moved by the town's outpouring of love, support, and concern for Caleb. I, too, wanted to know more about him and was so thankful to discover this blog when i got back home. I find myself thinking about you & Caleb throughout the day. Continued prayers; there is clearly an amazing Power at work here.
When I was a child we had toys with sharp edges, toys that would cut you if you didn't handle them properly. I knew not to eat marbles. This weekend I will turn 50.
As the mother of 5 kids I chose not to over-parent. My kids were not wrapped in Nerf. Now they are 14-27 and I think they turned out pretty good. They learned logical consequences. Today everyone is so afraid of risk that they sit inside on the couch and develop obesity and type 2 diabetes. I would rather my children took risks. A lot of life depends on luck, otherwise I wouldn't be having a 50th birthday.
Suzanne
Well then, Ole Mumsie if you wish but no one would ever call you plain!
Sharyn,
Great news, O.M.G. you just make me take a step back once again. I had a 5 year old (now thank god 25) who had a head injury due to no helmet on a bike. I was young and dumb, but every Dr. we saw made it MY fault, to this day I say choice, I made that choice for him and beat myself up for many years, now he's a stapping 25 year old that does things that make me curl up and shake my head........point is they have to be themselves, and I love both my boys for that.
Lots of love , hope and prayers
Lisa Pa.
Dear Sharyn,
How wonderful to hear of the continued health progress for Caleb - even better to know Kai & Max are by his side. The other night at the auction I was standing with Kai, Elizabeth & Tina when Elizabeth asked "who is the best brusher here"? My answer MAX!!!!!!
Your beautiful words have brought me peace and helped to keep myself focused on what life is truly about this summer. As always all of you are in my prayers & yes Prayers are Powerful. Love Margie
The Buddhist poet, Nguyen Du, wrote: "When necessary the heavens will not stand in the way of humans. The result of past actions can be lifted. Future causes and conditions can be created." The great mystic poet was referring to the power of prayer. Thich Nhat Hanh quoted Nguyen Du in a discussion on whether prayer actually changes anything, or whether our fate is just set into motion. But these two great mystics, one living and one long dead, both believe that a loving force moves through our souls, which means moving through and with the quality of our souls. A soul that is filled with pessimism and empty of hope cannot have the past lifted as it is possessed by the past, not by heaven's choice, but by its own. But as a soul releases its own past, through faith, through optimism, through hope, and through love in action, "future causes and conditions can be created."
That is as true for the healing of an illness as it is for the healing of one's soul and for the healing of our planet. Enter a place of profound silence and let the grace from God flow into your being, to all those who have requested healing interventions, and through you into the earth we share that is our home. (-- Carolyn Myss)
I found this message in my email today and felt it appropriate to share here with all of you who pray for Caleb's continued return to health.
Love,
Anne
"It takes a rough sea to make a great captain."
Matt, London and for this week with my family, Wellfleet guest.
PS It really may not be your thing, but having just finished "it's not about the bike" by lance armstrong, can more than recommend it for the perspective.
Livestrong, Caleb.
Hello,
I have been trying to get some info from someone in the Caleb camp. We built a site where all the revenue generated will go to Caleb and had a few questions. The site is simple you basically go to www.wellfleetpirate.com and set it as your homepage and use it when you search. All of the revenue from the paid listings (less Google's cut of course) go to Caleb. If someone could email me that would be great: rderow @ gmail . com (spaced so I dont get spammed)
Best
Robert Derow
I came across this quote a short time ago and it spoke to me very strongly. I think it sums up Caleb's view of life as well...
Emile Zola wrote:
"If you ask me what I came into this world to do,
I will tell you: I came to live out loud."
God Bless All Of You!!!
Tom
Thank you for the positiveness! Love you all ! Every couple of days this summer althea and i would speak about how we need to take the long overdue trip to fleet to see sharyn. To reminace of the carefree days we used to hang on her front porch, laugh all day, and probably stay the night without calling home. But we were at sharyns, it was a good enough excuse as any. And it woould fly with the parents in brewster because they saw how happy it made us to be in the presence of such fun and healthy people. Sharyn, you've done the best job a mom could do at laying the law and allowing freedom all at once. For many of years i wished you were my own mom. iv'e been blessed to continue recieving your advice and humor to this day and hopefully for years to come. Stay strong women. You've taught me more than anyone in this life. I thank you. Grace
There are lessons here, and most folks are trying to be nice about not pointing out the obvious, but you've got to be a little more realistic.
This isn't your fault for letting him work out whatever was going on in his life at the time. It's his fault for riding the truck and Shaye's for letting him. No one else deserves blame.
The lessons? Yes, there are some.
How about: Don't skateboard off the back of pickup trucks?
How about: When you're 25, it's time to stop skateboarding and grow up.
How about: Wear a helmet?
You're a strong and remarkable person, Sharyn, and your decency shines through with every post -with every day of your fight to help your son. I just think your lecture missed the teaching points.
Sharyn,
I've been following Caleb's progress since his accident and like so many others from the Cape to California, he's been in my prayers. Your blog is wonderful, your thoughts are inspiring, and your family is an amazing example of the power of love and prayer.
Accidents happen every day, but few result in such an outpouring
of well wishes and prayers from friends and strangers alike.
Take care and I'll be keeping Caleb in my prayers.
Deb
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