We are all connected, and so I imagine that you too are becoming a bit more used to the new Caleb, just as we are. The parchment paper layers of emotion that we peel away at each day reveals another and always yet another feeling to deal with, and this rawness leaves us bloodied and spent sometimes, and then laughing at others. The ups and downs of having the kind of year that we have had allows us to re-invent ourselves each day...because with pain, and the unbearable burden of it, also comes rockets of desires that we shoot off because we hope for a better way. We have to insist on it to get through another 24 hours.
I do not know why this course is now ours to follow...I do not know how we manage sometimes...I do not know where this will all land, but I do know that love never fades .
I have been remembering the morning how it was that I walked into the silenced room where mother had died. The permanency of it. Caleb is holding my hand each day and breathing a thank you of gratitude at every turn. He is smiling and studiying the birds who perch outside his window seemingly for his entertainment alone, and I watch from the shawdowed corner of the room and am glad that tho this is tough, it is not by any means permanent,and I bear witness to this miracle called Caleb.