I am scorched, not only by the sun , but the realization that we have a ways to go before we can determine how Caleb will do in the future. Tonight as we eat dinner, he is asking for his real mother - and I am sittting across from him, staring in disbelief. This is the kind of emotional fire that when drawn near... only burns, but never warms .
Jenny comes by and reports that hot shot surfers are reaming out others..mostly their best friends.. for dropping in on them...when Caleb only ever went into the water for the sheer delight of it ---to have fun and to push Kai off his board at every opportunity...and yes ...I do find myself asking why? Why my kid when there are other's who seem more suited for danger and are less appreciative of life! I know it unfair of me ... but those are the thoughts!
Remember ..Life is a daring adventure..life is a daring adventure!
I netted and dragged a bloated and very dead chipmunk out of the fish pond today..perhaps and oversight on his part as to how far from rock to safe rock... perhaps in curiosity he leaned over too far, perhaps he jumped out of frustration..I know not! But what I am learning is that we are ..none of us safe from what will be and it is only in our imaginings that we live fully - be well and think happy thoughts!
Not far from the busy highway is the rock wall... not far from the rock wall is a sapling. That sapling will grow and overtake the wall at some point.. that seemingly weak sapling will grow into the oak and the oak is stonger than rock! History has not been written yet!
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On the fourth of July, 2007 Caleb Potter was involved in a skateboarding accident.
He suffered serious injuries and continues to need all of our positive thoughts and prayers.
This blog is to serve as a space for updates on Caleb's journey of recovery.
He suffered serious injuries and continues to need all of our positive thoughts and prayers.
This blog is to serve as a space for updates on Caleb's journey of recovery.
Adding Comments
Please feel free to add your comments to the blog. All you have to do is click on the number of comments at the bottom of one of the postings. Then write your comment in the box provided on the right side of the screen. Thank you to all of you who have been commenting so far; we're creating quite the community on here! Be well...
A BIG Thank You
In this season of giving thanks and celebrating family togetherness, I wish to extend a warm thank you to everyone who has been involved in a myriad of ways with my son, Caleb Potter, and his recovery. On July 4, he was involved in a skateboarding accident in our little hometown of Wellfleet on Cape Cod, that caused him serious injuries. He came home from Spaulding Rehab in Boston just before Thanksgiving. Through the blog we started:
http://calebpotter.blogspot.com/
the Wellfleet community of support stretched far and wide across the country, and in fact, throughout parts of the world, with many people offering prayers and words of wisdom. We could not have come so far without this legion of support from all of you, in Wellfleet and beyond. We are sincerely grateful.
Sharyn L. Lindsay and family
http://calebpotter.blogspot
the Wellfleet community of support stretched far and wide across the country, and in fact, throughout parts of the world, with many people offering prayers and words of wisdom. We could not have come so far without this legion of support from all of you, in Wellfleet and beyond. We are sincerely grateful.
Sharyn L. Lindsay and family
DONATIONS
THE CALEB POTTER
BENEFIT FUND
Donations may be made in person at any branch of Cape Cod Five Cents Savings Bank or mailed to the bank at P.O. Box 697, Wellfleet, MA 02667.
Thank you SO MUCH
for your contributions.
With love,
from all of Caleb's friends and family
BENEFIT FUND
Donations may be made in person at any branch of Cape Cod Five Cents Savings Bank or mailed to the bank at P.O. Box 697, Wellfleet, MA 02667.
Thank you SO MUCH
for your contributions.
With love,
from all of Caleb's friends and family
Official Information
If you have questions about calebpotter.blogspot.com,
email Sky at:
novembersky.freysscole@gmail.com
email Sky at:
novembersky.freysscole@gmail.com
For Sending Cards etc.
Caleb Potter
c/o Sharyn Lindsay
45 Sapokonish Way
Wellfleet, MA
02667
(please be respectful)
c/o Sharyn Lindsay
45 Sapokonish Way
Wellfleet, MA
02667
(please be respectful)
Blog Archive
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2008
(127)
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July
(15)
- Dear Caleb,As I watch from afar, and nurture from ...
- It's always good to have a fresh perspective..and ...
- I can tell you that when I want to, I can conjure ...
- There are days, maybe now even stretches of days w...
- This night, not unlike many others, Caleb and I ar...
- Caleb's Nurses Visit Wellfleet
- We are bound as a family to Caleb and his physical...
- Like old friends, indeed, we here on this blog con...
- I am scorched, not only by the sun , but the reali...
- There are times in your life when all things seem ...
- We are all connected, and so I imagine that you to...
- July 4th Parade. Wellfleet. Pirates Take Grand Prize.
- It was no accident that twice when I tried to call...
- The Fourth
- Another night in the ER...but this time with the 3...
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July
(15)
MORE POSTS!
To make sure that the blog continues to be fresh and quick we've cut down the number of posts shown on this main page. However, all the posts are still there. Just scroll down to the bottom and click on "Older Posts" to read the rest!
14 comments:
Sharyn,
This road is long and winding, but it's been going in the right direction overall. Maybe Caleb has had so much that's positive and exciting lately that he needs to regroup a bit. (I loved seeing his beaming pirate smile on the 4th). Maybe in a quieter moment he'll tell you what he was really asking... he may have come to one of those brain bridges that's still out, and may need to travel further
along to another bridge that will clear things up. I don't know much about surfing, but I know the pure joy of the ocean, and I'm with Caleb and Jennie on that. I don't understand hot shot competitive stuff, especially among friends. I'll bet on your sapling oak any day. Sorry about the chipmunk...
they carry around lots of ticks with Lyme disease and other unsavory germs...so much for happy thoughts. The heat is getting to me, I'm not a summer person.
Peace to you and the family,
janet
oh sharyn,
what your days must be like... and how you come out each day with a good outlook, such as the oak, such as the daring adventure....
i dont know anything about brain injuries except what you and this blog has taught me... all i know is that we keep praying, for all of you.
there are good days and bad days... for all of us... and sometimes we wonder why we go on, why we keep trying... and even if we cant come up with a happy note... we just keep trying anyway.
heres to more good days than bad
peace to you tonight
amy in ct
Sharyn,
My thoughts are with you on this night of an almost full moon. I was reading an article not that long ago with the quote "pain is part of life, suffering is optional". It took a while but as I meditated on the thought I could see the truth in it.
These scorching moments that you are experiencing are very much part of where life is with you and with Caleb and I expect with you all. Like a wave smacking you on the back of the head when you were distracted, it catches you off guard and throws you a bit. But I see that your choice is to step back (from the suffering) and appreciate life in all its fractured imperfections and reflect on what is happening, the unknown, the what could have beens..... and writing.
As any parent would, I felt a jab of pain in your words. Your thoughts are not unfair, they are genuine....they are real.
That sapling of yours is healing, and IMO he has plenty of growth in him to come. His delight in being in the water is all about life and enjoying the moment. However that chipmunk met his demise it wasn’t because he was sitting on the wall watching life go by. He took the leap and perhaps this time it didn’t work out but then again this may have been his ten thousandth leap and 9,999 were great rides. (Perhaps you should check the pond again for a little surf board.)
Peace and warm thoughts.
Sharyn,
All of the rewiring that is going on in your lives is bound to give you a jolt now and then, especially following a period of excited activity (the 4th of July high...) Caleb is still healing, little by little.... and I suspect there will be more shocks now and then...but you have past the point of one step forward, two steps back, from now on it is only forward, albeit slowly.
Asking why is only human. We all question the unfairness of life at some point, we all ask why, and there is never an adequate answer. We just have to trust to our faith that there is some reason for all that befalls us. Some believe in predestination, some in random chance, but who really knows? Life is a never ending learning process of which questions are an integral part. If we are lucky we come upon an answer on occasion...In the meantime, living fully and keeping happiness in sight seems to be our brightest option.
As always, with hope,
peg from PA
'Everyone who wills can hear the inner voice. It is within everyone.'
Gandhi
Sharyn,
You have the inner voice. It is evident in all your blogging.
Sharyn, When I first read your post, I felt a sharp stab, trying to imagine what you felt when Caleb said that and trying to imagine what was going on in Caleb's head. The brain is such a mystery.
Can someone explain what "dropping in on them" means in surfing terminology? I was watching the surfers yesterday at LeCount Hollow, which was quite amazing to watch. Is it when someone is already surfing a wave and another then starts right on top of him/her? Anyway, I sure wish I knew how to surf! It looks like so much fun.
Amy from western MA
Sharyn, beautiful post as always, it's been quite a while since i felt the throat lump reading the blog. we shall persevere, as we do. and if you ever are distraught at the pace of progress, remember that sapling was once an acorn, and from what tiny acorns great oaks do grow.
amy- dropping in is catching a wave that someone's already riding; if someone catches whitewater and there is a surfer between her/him and the point at which the wave started braking, s/he is a snaker.
Thanks, Tim Bob. It is so much fun to watch the surfers, but I did see two collide this morning at LeCount. Looked sort of scary to me, though both seemed to be fine afterwards. I am not sure how anyone avoids collisions out there!
Ohhh, Sharyn... your story strikes a nerve. That bolt out of the blue... the unanticipated and so very unfair reminder that all is not as it appears. I know it well.
When Rebecca was little we regularly asked ourselves "why"... why our kid when it seemed other parents just let their kids run out and play on railroad tracks, with never so much as a scrape... Sadly, there is no answer to "why." It's not unfair of you to ask... not at all... just, unfortunately, futile.
Stay strong. Yes, life is a daring adventure (so sayeth Helen Keller) but it's also a never-ending test. You are in the quantum physics part of the test now... but this too shall pass, and you'll soon be in the 'free verse' part - which we all know you have NAILED!
We'll be bouncing back and forth - in and out of town the next few weeks... hope to see you around.
Warmest regards,
Jerry
Sharyn,
I read your post this morning - but had no time to write....and now,tonight, I returned to comment and while I feel your pain and felt the blow that must have come with Caleb's question - after reading all of the comments, I feel compelled to make a CHOICE- That choice is to allow the beauty of each and every word in each and every response to you to overcome everything else (for now) and to SHINE.
Sharyn, the love and light and incredible energy that lives here on this blog is truly heartwarming.
Jeff in the Berkshires - you bring tears to my eyes.....Janet, Amy, Peg...everyone - your words are healing and heartfelt.
What an beautiful corner of the world this blog has become - what a safe harbor....what a shining example of the genuine GOOD that still exists in people.....
I love this place. I think I may have needed a bit of support tonight and by coming here to offer some to Sharyn...I found some for me too - in the simple love,support and profound wisdom that is offerd up here daily!
Peace and love and light to you Sharyn...especially when those dark moments strike.
Ths is a place of love - and it is all yours.
Sharyn,
I've been away, and since getting back have been unable to log on. I just wanted to let you know my heart still beats with yours, my hurt is still reflected in yours, and my joy flows when your spirit soars. Perhaps by the comment "real mother", Caleb was searching for the familiarness of his past life; as we all do. Sometimes we desperately want our "real life", the one that is forever gone. Until we remember again that the NOW is all any of us ever have.
Your words and the reflections of the other bloggers continue to contain teachings and hope for us all. These familiar voices are like old friends, always there to listen, to give solace, to laugh with. Thank you one and all.
Bocas renewed my spirit and you and Caleb were there with me, snorkeling the reefs and soaking up the sound of the crashing waves.
Until we meet some day......... holding you and yours in my heart.
Gail (South Shore Mom)
Sharyn,
I've been reading this comment over and over again since you posted it and I was dumbfounded. And yet, I wasn't surprised. How many times have not we all looked around and said "this is not my beautiful life! this is not my beautiful family! how on earth did I get here?" with varying degrees of rage and bewilderment. And how often have not our small children looked at us in a rage and said "I wish you weren't my mother!" or "my real mother wouldn't have let this happen to me!"
Caleb is like a person who has gone on a long--years long--journey away from you, away from the life he knew, and returned to his old home to find himself, and his life, irreperably changed. In that way you share so much with the families of the soldiers who are returning, injured or uninjured. They have travelled to a land we can't really understand, and they have to deal with the fact that they will never get their old lives back, or when they get back to their old lives those lives and their friends and even their family seem to have left *them.*
Here you are, you and his brothers, having gone so far down the road for him, having realigned your lives and your expectations to be there for him every day. Its got to be hard for him to deal with the fact that, for now, he has to take and take and take and can't be the giver he always was before.
Maybe he has to say these things because he can't stop himself--because he's still relearning the pathways that inhibit us from blurting this stuff all the time. But he's just saying what a person in his situation has to feel, on some level, regardless of how much you, his real mother, have done for him. Because he's still just waking up to the fact that his old life, his old self, is gone and he is resenting that and projecting it out onto you. Surely if you aren't his real mother, this can't be his real life?
You are a woman in ten thousand, a woman in ten million. No child can comprehend that. To him you will always just be the great be all and end all, able to take careless words and rework them and perhaps even use them to nourish you and him. I'd say I have faith in your ability to rise above this difficult moment but that would be wrong. because faith implies that I don't know, that I only believe. But reading your diaries here I know, simply know as a fact, that you will turn even this moment into something powerfully good for you and Caleb and the boys.
I'm thinking of you.
aimai
just as you are exquisitely attuned to your own internal processes, you are as attuned to your son(s), and to the content of their hearts and minds, spoken or unspoken. whether or not caleb was asking for his real mother, or some other once familiar reality, may not be something you can discern with confidence. nonetheless, as it appears in your writings, and as is clearly seen in the photo of his embrace of his real mother during the parade, he knows only love for you -- his mother - who stands before him, who laughs, weeps, cheers, anguishes and watches over him round the clock. whatever it was that he meant to express during tuesday nite dinner, it seems a safe bet that he knows only abiding affection for, and deep gratitude to YOU... for much more, and for much longer, than the past 379 days.
as caleb continues to draw sustenance from your love, trusting you with every fiber of his being, you too might, over time, come to trust in him completely, once again, even when synapses are interrupted, and words fail.
Aimai, what an absolutely beautiful comment!
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