On the fourth of July, 2007 Caleb Potter was involved in a skateboarding accident.
He suffered serious injuries and continues to need all of our positive thoughts and prayers.
This blog is to serve as a space for updates on Caleb's journey of recovery.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Jenny

Young love is so sweet and promising.

I want to take the time to express my gratitude to Jenny for standing by Caleb's side through all of this. She has been here every day since he returned home,finding the time to see him tho she was juggling work and school. She drove to Boston (when we were there) when she could - usually once a week; scaled down her work load and was completely broke so that she could be part of his healing. She asked the Doctors poignant questions and smiled when the pretty nurses flirted with Caleb. She has rubbed his head a thousand times, cleaned him when he had accidents, and looked across the bed in anguish to mirror mine when he was not doing well.
I was not certain of Jenny when she first appeared on the scene--she was afraid of the dark, had to be accompanied everywhere, and was much more of a girlie girl then I would ever be...(it is a mother's perogative to scutinize.)
She was Caleb's second serious girlfriend and as a second wife, I always felt that I was misunderstood,out of favor and generally disliked. There was always an uneasy queasiness, a recoil with my inlaws and I was determined to not let Jenny feel unwelcomed......
She has proven to be the substantial young woman who I hoped she would be and I admire her for her staying power.

I have learned so much from the younger women in my life. They are soft and yielding, stunning in their youthful beauty, but most importantly they have dignity and they know their truths. Long gone ( and so may it be) are the days where women will setttle for less.....at least with this crop of adolecent Wellfleet women who I know. They are determined and satisfied with only the best that life has to offer. Hats off to them!

So as Jenny packed her things to go off into the dark last night ... alone, unattended..... Caleb walked to the french doors to watch her go
and I stood behind watching him watching.

Thank you Jenny!

48 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's lovely to see you on the blog once again, Sharyn, and it's heartbreakingly lovely to read your thoughts about Jennie. It can't be easy for any mother to share her son with another girl, no matter how wonderful she is. It must make Jennie very proud to know how you feel about her.

love,
Mia

Anonymous said...

jeez sharyn - every time i think you have gotten as raw and down to the bone as it gets, you go deeper. thank you - i read your blog daily and feel we are living paralell lives, would love to have a glass of wine with you and talk about FINALLY getting it, and no prattle allowed.

Anonymous said...

How different it must be to be the mother of sons than to be the mother of daughters (as I am). Of course, I worried about each young man my daughters might bring along, but they were men and thus by definition, foreign to me both because I had no sons and because I am a woman. I never really expected them to be my friend.

To read your words, Sharyn, makes me appreciate how different it must be to have another woman enter your life and the life of your sons---another woman, so a potential daughter you didn't have, a potential friend, and a potential rival. The challenges of mothering sons must be just so different from mothering daughters. Not easier, not harder, just different. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It seems that you (and Caleb)are lucky to have Jenny and vice versa.

Amy from wetsern MA

Anonymous said...

Sharyn:

What a lovely picture of Jennie your words have painted.

It's good to hear your voice. And your insights.

NY/Wellfleet Mom

Anonymous said...

Love conquers all.

blackbird said...

Miracles are all around us.

Anonymous said...

The first time I met Jenny, I was taken by the way her kind, gentle demeanor came through so clearly to a total stranger standing outside her booth at Oysterfest (me). Since then, I have been impressed and touched by her articulate and loving updates here. Her considerable beauty is way more than skin deep. Caleb is so lucky in many ways.
Jerry G

Anonymous said...

That was beautiful Sharyn.

Thank you Jenny! You're an AWESOME person.
Miss and love both of you,

Katie

p.s. it's 30 below here tonight and when you walk home your eyeballs stick in your skull

p.p.s. i went to the barack obama jam for change last night and spent too much money on beer, demonstrating my successful resistance to change

p.p.p.s. congratulations on your nursing certificate Jenny!

susan in portsmouth said...

Love IS the answer...

and it's so nice to hear your voice, mumsie.

Anonymous said...

Sweet little girls grow into beautiful young women, who then become fabulous mumsies....
As always, with hope for peace,
peg from PA

Anonymous said...

Jennie sounds like a gift from heaven. God has blessed all of you

Anonymous said...

Your words Sharyn are eloquent and beautiful to hear.
My mother in law (mother of 3 boys as well) was hesitant of me in the beginning too. Her son was young and although he had many girlfriend before me, I was older than him and I don't think she liked it.
16 years later we are the best of friends and I am blessed to have her in my life.
We have both grown and learned from one another. She accepts my faults an loves me because of them.
You and Jenny, your good people Sharyn, thanks for blogging.

J

Anonymous said...

You're good people. Ignore my grammar it is early!

Anonymous said...

Sharyn,

Nice words for sure to a total sweetheart of a girl! Being a divorced father of boys only is interesting to hear your perspective...Coming from divorced parents and living through divorce has it's challenges. Hopefully our children will be just as strong!

Kevin

Anonymous said...

OK, so is it Jenny or Jennie? I am so confused! Sharyn spelled it with a Y but Jennie posted it with an IE, so I am assuming it is with an IE??

becky said...

I've always wondered how I would handle a serious girlfriend for my sons. That is why from reading Jenny's comments I have come to pray my sons find someone as special as she appears to be. Sharyn your raw comments reassured me that it is going to be ok to "scrutinize" at first, but reminded me that I need to be open minded when one of these "new women" walk hand and hand with my sons through my front door.YIKES!) Can you accept another thank you from me? We continue to pray for Caleb, in fact I wore my Caleb shirt to my son's baseball practice last night and was able to share his story with another mom that commented ont the shirt....another life touched.....

Jeff- in the Berkshires said...

When we stop learning from others and being open to their gifts, regardless of their age, then its time to pull in the stakes and fold up the tent of life.

Happy leap day to all!! A special day.

Anonymous said...

Wow, Sharyn, this one's a favorite.
Caleb's Jennie is a real treasure--you're all so lucky to have each other!
With two sons, then a daughter, I've seen both sides of it. I became too attached to the first girlfriends of both of my boys...young love is fun to be around. I missed them both when they went away, and have held back from bonding with their next
ones...wondering whether they're really keepers this time. (I will work at being more welcoming.)
Daughter's boyfriends have come and gone more painlessly for me. I'm content when they treat her with respect, trusting that a keeper will emerge in time. Thankfully there doesn't seem to be a rush to settle down these days.

I worked in a nursing home during high school, on my way to more academics...and I really enjoyed the patients. I sometimes wish I had listened to my co-workers and gone to school for nursing instead. Besides being a caring and rewarding profession, it's so practical through the years. We will always need nurses, whatever the economy does. It's very useful within the family... and has flexible scheduling. Good choice.

Congratulations to Jennie!!
jt

Anonymous said...

Hi Sharyn,
After returning from my vacation week in maine i am beginning to thaw out (a little) and have gotten myself caught up on all the blogs i missed. I am happy (perhaps for selfish reasons) that you have decided not to abandon the blog and to hear that progress continues, as well as jennie's charming visuals. As I rode down the mountain the last run of the last day, it was quiet and calm and the light was changing and I smiled proudly as a landing a tiny jump. And I couldn't help thinking of Caleb (and Kai) in the water with their joyful yelps and encouraging cheers and i let out a little woo! to the emptiness around me. I have so much faith in the love of family, friends- and sweet jennie- and wellfleet water that surrounds you- much love ryan

Anonymous said...

Jennie is a gift to Caleb packaged in devotion and wrapped in smiles.

Deb in Groton

Anonymous said...

Let it be!

Anonymous said...

thank you sharyn for sharing your feelings toward the lovely jennie. i am currently dating a wonderful man who is getting divorced and i am so afraid to meet his (very protective) mother. i am afraid that she will think i am not good enough for him, i am afraid that she will not accept me. i am divorced as well, it was a messy one, restraining orders and all that fun stuff. he was an alcoholic and after we were finally divorce he passed away 6 months later. my son was 10 at the time. my ex-inlaws have since accepted me back into their arms.... mainly for my son's sake.... but there was a time that they were not so fond of me as well.
i can see your thought process with jennie and i am so glad that you accept her with the love that you do.
i hope that i am met with the same acceptance in the near future.
thank you again for sharing your feelings.... prayers to you and caleb and the whole tribe...
amy in ct

Anonymous said...

Jennie seems like a wonderful young girl, whom adores Caleb. She has blown me away since I first got to know her on this blog.
With that I must say I think you are all extremly lucky to have her in your lives. I only wish my boyfriends mother had such wonderful things to say about me...

Anonymous said...

sharyn!!! you are back! yahooooo. I was beginning to worry about you, girl. Keep your spirits up-winter is long and the lack of sun gets to us all. Missed you...gonna have to stop by one day soon for a visit with you, Caleb and the rest of the bunch. Would really love to go bowling one Tuesday night, too.

As for Jennie-we all know how great she is and has been, but it is quite nice to read about it again from you. Actually, I met Caleb through Jennie a couple of years back when she worked at, appropriately enough, the Genny and Caleb was doing his oyster bar gig on the side.

Anyway, look forward to seeing you guys soon. In case it helps lift your spirits, march 1 is the first day of meteorological spring, so you can say as of tomorrow that spring is here! Tonight's snowstorm might have a different opinion, however.

Be good.

Yours,

Dennis M

Anonymous said...

Dear Sharyn,

It is always good to read your words, and to feel the wisdom and candor behind them. I love hearing about your history with Jennie, and it makes me more interested to hear about Caleb and Jennie's story, too. Obviously I am not from your lovely neck of the woods, and do not want to appear obnoxiously nosy. But I would love to hear more about how they met, and how they continue to thrive in their love for each other, if anyone wants to share.

Also, Sharyn you remind me how much power moms/dads do have in the lives of their adult children. I have a loving relationship with my in-laws, for which I am extremely grateful. It is rooted in their eagerness to welcome me into their lives as well as my husband's. I have seen the best and worst of them over 15years, as they have of me, and it's the messy stuff that really has cemented my ties to them. It's easy to be nice when life is easy, but our true gifts come out during harder times.

As always, thank you for sharing your true gifts, and thank you to Jennie as well for sharing hers.
Congratulations on your CNA! Lisa K.

Anonymous said...

Sharyn- thanks for sharing your thoughts on a complicated relationship. Thanks to Jennie for the countless acts of devotion. Thanks to Caleb who is strong enough to accept love in many forms. You are all brave ...A bit of hope for us all... peace ann m

Anonymous said...

That was so very sweet!!!

Anonymous said...

Sweet Sharyn, lovely to hear your voice. Hope this week has been a little easier on you. So hard it must be to let go and give your boy to his girl, but looks like Caleb could not have made a better choice. Love to you all Ali Manchester UK

Anonymous said...

Your words dance all over every page!!!! I love reading every word that you type. i wish i could express what i have running thru my head the way you do. i have tons of thoughts and feelings and then when i try to get them out it never really reads the way i feel.

sashawk said...

Thank you Jenny and Leb's mum for letting us into your life by the updates and the blogs..even on an intimate and emotional level it is very appreciated. What you have been through and endured is really an inspiration for all of us to not complain about things that our out of our control and in the hands of a higher power. I have many faults in my life that are wished away daily, and then thinking about Caleb, how pure and awesome his spirit is even after all this, makes me try and better myself even more. How he is so humbled by the love, respect and help that he receives from the closest members of his family and friends. You must be so proud to see the effect he has on the people around him. You are still in my prayers and thoughts and I hope that someday soon you will experience a normalcy and recovery through all of this. He is blessed to have you all there, and you are blessed to have the part of him that constitutes his persona still shining. That's a great balance.

sas

Anonymous said...

Amen to Jenny!! She has been the anchor in this storm for Caleb. I'm sure he knew from the beginning of this journey that she would stick by his side. I met Jenny at Spaulding Rehab last Oct. when my daughter was admitted there. Jenny was there quite a bit and I'd heard so much about her. The younger generation is so different from ours Sharyn and from what I can see, it's for the better. You are right, they don't settle for just anything and Caleb and Jenny are living proof of who they are and what they want and their determination to get there. Bless you all, your are always in my thoughts!
Love, Julie/Court's mom

Anonymous said...

Good to see you writing again!!!!! Very kind of you to recognize Jenny's loving actions as well. I am also a second wife and my in-laws treat me as such, and it's refreshing and sweet of you to make sure Jenny doesn't feel any of that type of negative stuff. You are truly a good, good woman Sharyn. Do me a favor - pour a glass of wine and get into the tub later if time allows - in other words - BE GOOD TO YOURSELF!!!!

Love, Mom in CT

Anonymous said...

Sharyn,
I've always joked with you that one day we'd be in-laws. The special connection between Caleb and Jenn was evident to me from the beginning. They are very sweet individuals and care very much for each other.Jennifer has gone through many stages during Caleb's recovery. The confidence I see now is reassuring to me as her mother..the days of uneasiness are gone. I'm so very proud of my daughter for staying so strong and I think it's so wonderful that she spends time with Caleb everyday and cherishes every minute.

I often ask Jenn how you are doing. Although, I do not write in the blog often, you are always in my thoughts and I wish only the best for you. I glad that you're writing again...you should realize that Caleb's story, written so eloquently by you, has effected everyone of us in our special ways.

Big hugs from me and Linda.

Anonymous said...

Jennie is very clearly a person of integrity strength and character. She has stuck in there - through thick and thin and that speaks volumes. I think that ALL of you have been changed and grown so much, in countless ways since Caleb's accident. I'll bet Jennie is less afraid of MANY things, not just the dark anymore!! ( I think that's endearing)
Let there be light, and when it's dark, let us still be able to see the light....

Keep talking Sharyn.....I was so happy to "hear" from you!!

Nancy in New York

Mommato2 said...

It sounds like you are very lucky to have her in your lives. My little boy is only 7 now...I can only imagine how it feels when your "baby boy" brings home a girlfriend!

Glad you are continuing the blog...you are an amazing writer and one super Momma!

Anonymous said...

Beeaautiful.. just like Jennie!

Anonymous said...

I'm crying. That's all I have to say.

hannah said...

i could only hope to have the strength that jenny has had in the past months. caleb is lucky to have such a wonderful girl.

sharyn - i can't wait for your haircut. i promise it will be far from old lady. i've never been good at that anyways.

xoxo. hannah.

Anonymous said...

Ha Sharyn!

They're referring to you as "sweet"! Who knew?! Love, El

Anonymous said...

Jenny rocks!!

Anonymous said...

I too confess to worrying wether Jennie was right for Caleb or not.. only because I love Caleb as a dear friend, &, brother.
Jennie has loved Caleb genuinely, enduring so much these past 7 months. She has shone through with her beauty, loving intentions, spunky personality, intelligence, and has blossomed so gorgeously before us all.. plus she has that latina spice that is undeniable!!

Jennie you are Caleb's rock.. his pillar, and not only the family has you to thank for blessing them, but all of us as well! You are a true example of a compassionate young woman here to spread good.

Love you! Hope to see you soon!!
Xo..Clance

Anonymous said...

p.s...
through this relationship of Caleb & Jennie I realize it is never an outsider of ones relationship to judge wether one is good for one another... blessings 2 Caleb & Jennie!

Anonymous said...

p.s...
through this relationship of Caleb & Jennie I realize it is never an outsider of ones relationship to judge wether one is good for one another... blessings 2 Caleb & Jennie!

Eva said...

It is a rite of passage, and a part of growing up, that a boy, not quite a man yet, has to make a choice who is going to be the woman in his life, (and sometimes over and over again) and as every mother of a loving son knows, it cannot be her. Painful as it is, if you raised your boy to be a man, he will love, protect and honor the girl he loves, even if she is needy, insecure and afraid of the dark (and so unlike what you expected her to be) And at one point, that point when it really matters, you will be so happy that she is there, to be, and give what you cannot.
And in the end, as we know - we are better people for it.
Eva

Anonymous said...

Greeting all,
I have a now daughter in law that came to us so shy so afraid to trust no self love, the whole 9 yards. My other daughter in law was afraid of her...thought she hated all of us....except of course my son. You know what......after lots of love, showing her how a family works, and support she has grown into a beautiful self confedient young woman. She is the best. I am a firm believer that we all make a difference in each others lives. I love to be a part of all of it. We need to show the support and love to who ever needs us. I am so proud to give my love and support to Caleb and family. Though we have never met, I am here with prayers, love, and words, anything else that is neded I will drive from Pittsburgh to Wellfleet..(.and of course have an oyster while there).....be well be happy

Anonymous said...

So good to hear your voice, Sharyn...

Beautiful! Such honest, kind and generous thoughts and words for Jennie. Coming from one pretty amazing mumsie!

DD
North Eastham

Anonymous said...

So glad all can see the true colors of Jennie! This summer will be 4 freakin years since Jennie joined our family. Girly as she is, she has strengthened into one of the strongest women I have ever known! She was affraid to be alone at night, as I was at one point too. But Jennie has been holding down the homestead solo for months & indeed she realizes the scariest things in life don't happen in the dark. Caleb's accident was on a sunny afternoon in the center of town. There were people everywhere, enjoying the celebration of our nations' independance. Since then, Jennie has experienced her own independance. She has loved caleb with all her heart since the first day I met her & continues to love him more & more everyday! Relationships have ups & downs, and in the end only love will pull you through. Caleb & Jennie's love is strong enough to move mountains, & I feel could really withstand the tests of time. I am happy & blessed to have her in my family & for Caleb to have found such a beautiful woman, inside & out. After all, Jennie's first job when she moved into the barn was as a construction worker! Wearing Caleb's hoodie & work boots. I love you jennie. Thank you for being YOU!!!!!!
Admiration & Blessings~ Pure Love xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Anonymous said...

Jennie is spelled with an IE!!!!!!!
Big love to you, Jennie!!!!!!!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox