I lovvveee this picture. This is Caleb on his boat, The Get Go. Look at Caleb's face, he is enjoying the moment he is experiencing to the fullest, with his eyes closed and the cape cod wind in his hair. I am trying to think of something reallly good to write here, but i want people to interpret it their own way. If i have learned anything from caleb, it is to live every moment and cherish EVERYTHING and EVERYONE!!!
---Hello everyone...jennie is back writing on the blog. First off, Caleb is doing very well. Like Sharyn said before, one of caleb's meds were lowered and now we are back on track with his progress. Caleb has been going on little outing these days. His brothers and friends have been bringing him bowling once a week for the past couple weeks now. I went along one of the days, because I wanted to see caleb in action. It almost brough me to tears watching caleb have such a good time and acting like a normal 25 yr old. Max and some of his friends are on a league at the bowling alley and they are really good, so they make caleb's experience even better.
---Kai has been coming down over the weekend and when he walks in the door and sees caleb for the first time in a week...you can see the true love that these brothers have. It truely is beautiful and can take your breath away. Max is at the house everyday helping shrayn and caleb with everything and anything that needs to be done. He is really shining and he loves to spend his days with his older brother.
----Caleb is still going to therapy at RHCI and is making alot of progress. All the therapists who help him are so caring and i personally think that they work extra hard with him, because they also love seeing him get better and better throughout this recovery process. He was with Lee, his speech therapist today and they were working on initiation of asking question, and she asked caleb to ask her a question and he said, " do you like working with me?". How adorable is that? I wish all of you could see caleb's face when he asks a question....here is a visual....he raises his eyebrows alittle and slowly turns his head, looks at you with his big blue eye and asks you a lil question. Caleb is still doing workouts everyday, going on long walks with Spud and Boof, doing yoga, getting acupuncture, painting, and drawing. He is a very busy man but he enjoys every minute of it, because he knows that everything he is asks to do, will make him better.
---Since Caleb has gotten back from his last hospital stay, we have not been able to go out on a date. And caleb and i used to go out to eat alll the time, so that was something i was really missing. But, Caleb and I went on our first date the other morning at the Wicked Oyster and it was soo fun. Before Caleb got hurt, we would go to The Wicked and get breakfast sandwiches and go eat them on the beach. We did this every weekend and i have not had one since he got hurt. So...Sharyn let me take caleb out and we were both really excited. We drove there holding hands and we sat in the corner of the restaurant, so we could have some quiet and alone time, because we dont get that alot anymore. We order our sandwiches, and caleb ordered his own, asking for the same sandwish he used to order. and didnt even have to look at the menu. We "clicked" forks before we ate, which was this lil tradition we used to go before we ate and we enjoyed an amazing lil date.
-- As sharyn mentioned before, I just graduated from a Certified Nursing Assistant Program. I am currently...Jennie Smith CNA. I am working at a nursing home and really loving it. As sharyn says, i am now a workaholic, working two jobs, but making sure i see my caleb everyday, even if it is for 20 minutes. I get my caleb fix for the day. All i need is my bear hug and kisses and im good for the day.
---So i think i will be posting a blog every week, letting everyone know what caleb is up to these days. I will be taking pictures and posting them, so you guys can see how good he looks. thank u everyone for your continual support of the blog, none of us could have gone through this without all your prayers and love.
52 comments:
Thank you for painting that lovely word picture.
I found myself seeing all you described in my mind's eye, which was a good thing as my other eyes were tear filled. Your love for Caleb is a blessed gift. The joy you find in each other is so sweet, and as I sit here smiling through my tears I had a warm and wonderful thought.....I have been so worried about all of you, but you are really going to be all right, and it is time to exhale. Time is working it's miracle, little by little....
You are a wonder, dear Jennie. Congrats on your graduation and again, thank you.
As always, with hope,
peg from PA
Thank you Jennie,
sounds like you and Caleb had the best morning together. That is so fantastic. Congrats. on your accomplishments, keep up the good work, but, don't let yourself burn out. Take a few minutes of Jennie time each day also.
Good luck, and thanks again for the wonderful post
Wow, Jennie, thanks for the beautifull words! Your time together sounds like the best medicine for both of you. Your optimism is like
sunshine!
Janet and David
(we met you at your old job)
Keep up the good work jennie. Sounds to me like your what Caleb needs to be 100%. Thank you for the update. I always enjoy reading your blogs cause you are true and when you write most of us can picture caleb exactly how you word it thanks again
Jennie,
It was nice to see you the other night! You painted such a beautiful picture with your post. Sharyn had come in the Liquor Store with Caleb recently and he looks great! I see Max and Timmy all the time and know how "psyched" they get to go bowling, especially with Caleb... That must have been great for you to see!
Thanks so much for the update...
Keep smiling!
Kevin
What a beautiful "painting" (seems like other readers "saw" it as one as well )! I cried reading you post. I said a month or so in one of my comments that I can only PRAY that my sons find a "girlfriend" as special as you appear to be! Good luck with your nursing career!
Thank you Jennie. Everyone you come in contact with must be so blessed by you.
Your patients are very lucky.
J
thank you jennie, for taking the blog again. your detail is wonderful. it is like we are all there with you, helping caleb get better. i look forward to your pictures. i am headed to the cape in april for a few days and hope to catch a glimpse of caleb and crew while i am there. maybe someday i will have the honor of meeting him .... or any of your tribe!
take care and be sure to give one of those bear hugs to sharyn for me.
keep the faith
amy in ct
Thanks Jennie and congratulations on your new title!
Your updates are always filled with the little every day details that show your love for Caleb and your commitment to his recovery. Take Care of yourself.
Deb
Sharyn,
I sincerely hope you do not abandoned the blog completely - this is my day to day connection with you and your sister Laura in Ohio.
Maybe we are all exhaling a bit - thinking time will create more healing. I do not think of myself as moving on from you, but as you suggested - not filled with the dread of opening the blog and discovering yet another crisis. As your brother said, and both ed and I commented as you stood in our yard with the boys and that beat up old bus - only you would even consider such an adventure. Perhaps there is another mission for you wrappeed up in this event. You have a unique way of identiying the pain and suffering, but at the same time able to continue your quest for healing.
You may be on meltdown for the moment, but you have the strength of our Gpa Wm and Gma Laura who homesteaded in North Dakota - on the prairie - plopped in the middle of nowhere - but they made it - as shall you. You have an inner core of strength that allows you the stamina to persist.
Through your blog you have not only provided us with Caleb updates, but you yourself are healing finding old, stashed away "baggage" that you are now able to throw out. THe last six months has allowed you to become a different person as well.
I look forward to hearing from you and please share my concern and continued care with Caleb.
To all of the Cape Famiily - a giant THANK YOU for everything you have done....Laura - Sharyn's sister - the elder Stateman of the family - smart and good-looking too.
Sweet post Jennie. What a team Caleb has. (including his virtual one!) Ali Manchester UK
Jennie......thank you! I always look forward to the girlfriend updates! As others have said, you paint the sweetest picture with heart-felt details and a joyous spirit. What a special morning out you shared-sprinkled with smiles and the "usual" sandwich! So happy that you've graduated and can spread even more of that special Jenny-love!
Thank you so much Jennie for the word picture! ("clicked forks") - it certainly made me smile. Judith/Rochester
Jennie, The image of you and Caleb at the Wicked Oyster is so clear that I can see the two of you sitting there, clicking forks and giggling a bit. We often eat there, especially for lunch/brunch, so perhaps every time we go now, I will see the two of you in my head (if not for real), and it will make me smile even more as I eat those delicious pancakes. Boy, can't wait for spring!
Thanks, Jennie, and congratulations on completing your program, and best of luck on your new journey!
Amy from western MA
Jennie I am sooo glad you got some time with Caleb doing just what you two wanted/needed. Sharyn- I have been sick and out of the loop- so much heart ache when we look at life clearly with all the suffering around us. I feel connecting to this side of life is honestly more real than playing the gotta have more, be brighter side but know they are both sides of the coin that is life. Know whatever you need to do we are behind you- 100 %. I am finding myself more mindful of the mistakes I continue to make everyday and it can be discouraging..but onward I go knowing i am not alone. peace.ann m.
jennie,
i was fortunate enough to run into you guys the other morning at the Wicked and it really was a treat. If you can believe it, that was the first time I had seen Caleb since the accident! For so long.......I had been reluctant to call sharyn and ask if we could visit, afraid of being declined. I was a wonderfdul surprise to see you both! Looking very happy and filled with pure love. I cant wait to see you two again. Maybe at my big 25th! ill call and remind you about it this week but in the meantime be well. We love Caleb sooooo much! and are so greatful he can still be with us all! xoxoxo erin and the punch clan
Jennie,
You are the sweetest little angel of healing one could ever find. Please always include yourself and your own heart in that generous caring you give.
God bless you all.
Jenny your posts are always filled with light, hope, strength and love. You are amazing and your heart is wise and generous. I always feel happy after I read your posts and am looking forward to a weekly dose! Your date with Caleb sounded so sweet and wonderful for the both of you. Congratulations on your CNA certificate. I'm looking forward to a couple of extra letters after my name too. Just another eight weeks to go! Send Caleb and Sharyn and the guys a hug from me.
Lesa
thanks for the beautiful post jennie. you shine through your words so much. it's a gift to all of us.
congratulations on your graduation sweet one...lots of love, sky
Beautiful, Jennie!
Not only is Caleb's face glowing in that great pic, but I feel your face shining brightly through your words....
Congratulations! You will make a WONDERFUL CNA !!!
Congradulations on your CNA Certificate. That is a challenging program, good for you. I too wept to hear about your date. How cool is that that Caleb knew what he wanted to order! I will also look forward to your posts, you always paint such a cheerie picture. Your sunny temperment will help alot in your chosen profession.
Hey Jennie! I have not checked Calebs progress in awhile- It sounds that things are comming along well- I am so Happy for you Caleb & all your friends & familly. I look foward to seeing you on the Cape- Steve & I will be back in May.Congrats on your Graduation & new Job I am so proud of you! Stay strong & I will keep sending positive thoughts toward all of you!!!!!
xoxoxoxo Nielle Roselip
Stowe, VT & Wellfleet,MA
I love you Jennie.
Great post! Thank You! Now, a prayer to Saint Francis, for the Potters, Lindsays, Friends, Neighbors and faithful bloggers.
This prayer is sung in Christian churches the world over.
Lord, make me an instrument of
your peace.
Where there is hatred,
let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I
may not so much seek
To be consoled, as to console,
To be understood,
as to understand,
To be loved as to love, for
It is in giving,that we
receive,
It is in pardoning,that we are
pardoned,
It is in dying that we are
born to eternal life.
Just checking in for the first time in a few days. I am so glad to see that Sharyn has not abandoned the blog, and in addition there is another girlfriend update. I was starting to think Jennie had abandoned us, but I guess you have just been really busy! Congratulations and thanks for another great post.
Sharyn if you are reading this know that there are many of us out there thinking of you, Caleb, and the whole clan daily.
Much love to all!
Kim Harris
I have vowed to post more often, to be one more voice of many, to remind Sharyn, when she needs it, that we are ALWAYS here.....
I too, love your posts Jenny - it is a very innocent and pure glimpse into how Caleb's daily life is.....I can see you both at the Wicked Oyster (we are there often when in town) and the image of the two of you clicking your forks says alot!!
Congrats on your nursing career...you have learned from life experience, the greatest teacher of all.
SHARYN, HI!!!!!
Hope you are well, the rain is pouring down here in New York....like tears...washing away things that need to be cleared, making way for new...let it rain.
We are here, you - and don't ever forget it - you have created quite a unique community and energy force in this blog...a world of our(it's) own.....and I believe it, (we) have a life of it's own!
Hang in there, we are here, even when you aren't - got that?? :)
Nancy in New York
Thanks Jennie for that wonderful post.
Sharyn, Every morning Jane the Dog and I walk through the center of town on our morning outing and I see the sign in the window at Abiyoyo, "We're With You Caleb." So every morning I get a chance to be reminded of you all. I'm sure many people share the same opportunity to keep you in mind. We want to give you some rest from being a public person and make sure Caleb is not distracted and bothered. But we are here!
jack
Jennie, Jennie, Jennie CNA!!!!!Congratulations my Dear, Good Job!So good to hear your "voice" once again, and to know that you are ok!Your words are so precious...I can actually see you two together, going into the "Wicked" and having your breakfast sandwiches, sitting in the corner, and being all "lovey dovey". That's so wonderful, for you both. I could also "see" Caleb bowling, and having a hoot with his brothers, and friends...how great is that?! Wonderful!!!!!!
I couldn't be happier to hear of the progress for you both. As I have said in the past, how lucky is he to have you, and you lucky to have him. You are courage filled, and a very special person! I see wonderful things ahead in your life. Your tender loving care of Caleb has been noticed, and you are held in esteem, my Dear.
Thank you for letting us see things from your perspective, and allowing us into your life.
Take really good care. Give our Love and Big Hugs and Kisses to you know WHO.....You are never far from thought...
Blessings My Dear,
Melinda, MariElena (my 15 yr old) and Kebo (my 15 yr old Maine Foster dog)
Hey Jennie, thanks for the wonderful update, and congratulations on your CNA! It takes a very special kind of person to do that kind of work... and we all know that you are that kind of person. I can't help wondering whether your new career is a bit of a rainbow that grew out of Caleb's dark storm. Perhaps a little bit of "Out of the bad, comes good"...? In any event, you're going to be great and I hope you'll continue to find the work rewarding.
Say Hey to Caleb for me. I'll look forward to your next update!
Jerry G
Congratulations, Jennie!
And thank you so much for such lovely images of "normal"....bowling and breakfast and brotherly love...and your continued vow to cherish every moment.
You've introduced a breath of fresh air into this sloppy, icy February day - I'm smiling BIG!
Looking forward, already, to your next post...
Much love to you,
Susan
I loved your blog. Thank you! Just a question I have: is the Wicked Oyster the restaurant on the shore by the pier/boats? Can eat outside under the red canopies?
Thank you Jennie, for tellin it like it is. Your love for Caleb is so precious, you give us a window in which to see him, one that puts a smile on my face. Ah, young love, the pure beauty of it...I love that he's hangin' out with the guys bowling, having breakfast with his sweetheart, and that he's healing, he's really healing and making such great strides.
Congrats to you, what a great accomplishment with all that you have been through in the last 7 months, you are a very strong young woman.
Peace-
Audrey
Thank you jennie. You're words were perfect for all to read and visualize how things are. I Can imagine the smile you bring to calebs face everytime you see him. LOve you, Grace.
South Shore Mom....
WOW, out of town for a week and just checked in, as I usually do every few days, and saw the hailstorm of emotion, support and eloquent writing. THAT, Sharyn, is the reason most of us don't post......there are just so many who express themselves so well it's intimidating. But like many others, I want to assure you that we are out here, listening and learning and laughing and crying and praying with you every day.
We feel your pain, as you grieve the loss of the Caleb you knew, and the pit of the gut despair in wanting what used to be (I still feel that for my sweet daughter gone 15 months now). But you are on a journey of acceptance of what is, of appreciation of the beauty of life; the anguish, the unknown, and the joy in the simple things. I can't and won't try to tell you how you should feel, but can only hope you know the incredible gift that you give in sharing your thoughts, your joy, your fierce love, your pain, your struggle and the wisdom gained through it all.
What brings us all back again and again to be a part of this community? It's your humanity, your honesty, your beauty and eloquence. Hopefully, you will continue to share with us as long as it fills you up as well.
Caleb, as seen through Jennie's eyes, eyes fresh with the promise of tomorrow without the burdens of too much past....that reflects the essence of who Caleb is and of who he is rebirthing into. Jennie you convey so beautifully the scenes of everyday life as they are unfolding for Caleb, for you, and for his close family and friends now. He is a lucky soul in so many ways.
Sending you all good thoughts and a wish for strength, peace, and laughter.
Thanks you Jennie! Please give Caleb the biggest bear hug from his big brother in SAfrica! We love your super cutie updates! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Jennie-
Congrats on the CNA. I am floored that you have had the energy and strength to make it through these last months with your glowing positive spirit intact let alone to have earned a CNA at the same time- well done!
It was very heartwarming to read your post. I'm so glad you got some time together. You have such a gift in really enjoying and appreciating the little things in life- like breakfast sandwiches with the one you love!
Laura in CT
Anonymous at 9:52, you are thinking of Mac's Seafood at the pier. The Wicked Oyster is on Main Street fairly close to Route 6 and is a real restaurant with indoor seating only. It serves an amazing lunch/brunch menu as well as excellent dinners.
Amy from western MA
Jennie,
Thank you so much for your sweet little picture of "everyday stuff". It's what we all pray for for all of you. How wonderful also that you've found your calling in life. It seems very natural that you would gravitate to caregiving. How lucky for those in your care.
And Sharyn, take the time you need to cry and even rage at this injustice to your family. But while examining yourself and the mistakes you've made (I think that's called being human---we live and learn); please don't take on the cloak of blame. That doesn't accomplish anything. The Sharyn I've come to know through this blog has raised three wonderful young men who would make any mother proud. She has been strong and honest and open to us all by sharing her fears and hopes.You are wise and eloquent, and it's easy to see how well loved you are by your family and community. So take it easy on yourself, okay? Take some warmth from all of us who hold you so dearly in our hearts.
Wishing you peace, Jackie
South Shore Mom...
Your words are beautiful and heartfelt and spot-on! Please don't be afraid to comment. I, for one, love hearing from you...I find such genuine love and concern in your voice.
Wishing you continued strength and hope...
With big love,
Susan
Jennie,
So great to hear your voice. Your sunshine comes through so clear and I know it is contagious.
Congratulations becoming a CNA. I am sure that your patients look forward to seeing and working with you.
It has been great seeing Caleb getting out and about. I saw him cruising the strip (that would be Main Street) with Sharyn the other day and I enjoy reading about his continued improvement. It is amazing to think how far he has come in such a short period of time - all due to his strong will and spirit and dedicated family and friends.
hey jennie- thank you for that. the picture you chose tells anyone who sees it exactly who our boy is. you did a wonderful job putting words to whats happening at home. kai
I hesitate to send this but it was given to me many years ago. I saved it in case someone else might find it a hopeful take on that which, at its beginning, threatens to crush the heart. It is not meant to be a gloss, but rather a piece in the reformulation of a life worth living.
WELCOME TO HOLLAND, by Emily Perl
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability -- to try to help people who have not shared the unique experience to understand it, to imagine it. It is like this...
When you are going to have a baby, it is much like planning a fabulous vacation to Italy. You buy many guide books and make wonderful plans -- the Colieseum, the Michelangelo David, the Venetian gondolas. You learn a few handy Italian phrases and feel it all to be very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day arrives and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands and the stewardess says, " Welcome to Holland".
"Holland", you say -- "what do you mean, Holland? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy -- I've dreamed of going to Italy all my life."
But there has been a change in the flight plan. The plane landed in Holland and there you must stay.
Note that that you haven't been take to a horrible, disgusting, flithy place full of pestilence, famine and disease. It is just a different place.
So you go out and buy more guide books, learn a whole new language and begin to meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's a different place. It is slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. After you've been there for a while, wiht time to catch your breath, you look around and begin to notice the windmills and tulips. Holland has tulips. And Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life you respond to them with, "yes that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I planned."
The pain will never ever go away; it represents the loss of a dream; it is a significant and crushing loss.
But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to go to Italy, you may never be free enough to enjoy the very special, very lovely things about Holland. Holland has windmills. And tulips. And Rembrandts.
Oh, anonymous, that is the most wonderful way to describe what it feels like to lose your way, your child, the child he was, etc...and discover you're really where you should be. I went on that trip, was detoured, and found my way after much time, energy, reflection, inner turmoil, friends, family, and strangers such as yourself. Thanks.
Jennie's postings are such an uplifting change and so welcome in that she draws pictures for us with her words. There is much hope in the blog lately. Keep it up!!
Jennie/sharyn:
Thank you for the wonderful posts over the last couple of days. Caleb is truly blessed to be surrounded by so many awesome people...and as I have said before, even though we have never met..your familys' inspiration has been a lesson to us all. I was reading over the blogs and the story about comparing having a baby to planning your trip and realizing its not exactly where you what to go/get etc...its just like "It's a Wonderful Life". George kept thinking he needed to leave Bedford falls to find happiness etc. when in fact what would make him the most fulfilled was right in front of him. Caleb is a miracle and he is here because of you guys. Your family will continue to be in our thoughts always...and I for one enjoyed listening to your wonderful writing about "how life was returning somewhat to normal" and I wanted to intrude less on your space but yet, checked the blog daily for updates...My family is still along for your journey...may it be through this blog or at a far away distance...God Bless you all!!!
Peace and Smiles :) (Tears are good too!! They cleanse the soul)
A mom in Annapolis
Reason to be cheerful #19; I DON'T live in Maine!
Just a thought -- how about replacing the picture on the blog with one of Caleb today as opposed to who he was at a different time? There is a beauty in him NOW that is different from the beauty of then, and I think that having the older picture up creates a mood of longing for what was, and can pull us back from a full-hearted appreciation of what IS. I dunno - ask Caleb what HE thinks...I would think he would be the one to pick his own picture. I am just suggesting a look forward, not back, because this blog has showed us all how to accept the present and move into the future with great strength, wisdom, love and community.
Congratulations on your nursing, Jennie! It's clear that you're going to be an absolutely fantastic and dedicated nurse to all your lucky patients.
Your story about the breakfast date is so sweet. Its great to know that you two are doing so well. :)
love,
Mia
Please don't stop this blog! I know it has been a while since I have posted, but I still check up on Caleb and all of you! Please don't stop! Please, pretty please, with cherries on top and lots of oyster juice and a big glass of salt air! Please!
love ya lots~
Christa, Jack & Noah
Wilmington, NC
PS ~ I dropped a check in the mail today:) Sorry it's late:(
Jennie:
Like everyone else, I loved your story of the Wicked Oyster breakfast date, particularly the part about the clicking of forks. Thank you for that image!
Congratulations on your CNA certificate. You're a truly remarkable woman.
NY/Wellfleet Mom
To anonymous February 27th, 1:43PM, "Welcome to Holland":
Wow, what a great piece; so glad you saved it and shared it here at this time. Thank you.
Ack, the little clinking of the forks statement made me shed a tear-you are such an awesome girlfriend Jennie. I hope you take the time to realize just how great you are-there arent many people out there in a situation like you that choose the same path you have and for that you are AMAZING. I will try and come visit soon-love you all.
-Arozana
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