Sitting on a floating dock at the Pargo Rojo in Bocus del Toro, Panama , surrounded by balmy waters and loitered laughter with my Frozen Daquiri in hand -my companions were two handsome young surfers in their 20's who found me amusing. The owner was an Israli who had had his tongue cut out ( I never asked) and a piece of his thigh sewn back in so that he could amuse us in return - which he did. He was peevish, but took a liking to us so dinner was otherworldly... I can remeber thinking this was as good as it gets - an ahhhh moment in time . ...an ahhhhhh moment in time.
There are always two sides to a stick and now I am in a Ohhhh moment in time...but are they not one in the same?
The ahhhh moments are to be savored and enjoyed for what they are..just like the company and dinner. A space in time to cherish, a space in time to replenish.....
But it is in the ohhhh moments that I find I learn the most . I am trying to learn to cherish these moments too. I am a seeker as I know all of us are.....we love; we are dissapointed, we laugh; but feel empty inside,
We are proud, but we feel we don't deserve....we are fearful and whistle into the dark to soothe ourselves.
Yet all of my questioning dissipates when I realize that Caleb was only 6 months ago, a thinking, functuning human being who was the life of the party -and the heartbeat at our dinner table. When I expected company I called Caleb in hopes that he would be free- he made impressions by making people laugh- he made impressions by being himself- an authentically humble human who always saw the light in others.
The ohhhhhh moments- I am not asking for more of them--Caleb is healing in his own time and in his own way and we are grateful,,,,,,,- but I am asking that I can see through them to the other side ..I am asking that I can cherish these moments too; knowing and trusting that we as a family will move through this to a better time and a better place and that we will feel replenished in the aftermath. No matter where we land- we cherish!
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19 comments:
Sharyn,
Sometimes you leave me without words and in deep thought...you touch us all, cause us to stop, breathe, think and feel.
Breathe deeply, one day at a time, one moment at a time.
Wishing you more of the Ahhh moments, but knowing that the Ohhh moments will surely make appearances. Trusting that you will make it through the Ohhh moments to the other side, stronger & wiser from the experience of it.
Sending you positive energy,
D.
North Eastham
I love and respect you mucho Sharyn and think of you so often. Wintertime is such a time to hunker down in regardless of where we are at in life. I am just knowing that as spring rolls round and the earth starts to stretch and yawn in wakeup that the Potter/Lindsay household will experience a shift whatever that may look like. A little more sunlight does wonders on us all and transforms all those great winter insights into another form of energies. Don't hesitate to call if you ever need someone to bounce ideas off of, need someone to love on you thru the wires or anything else. I know I'm far away but you are always close in my heart. I very much respect your open-ness to the mystery, the wisdom and whatever the journey may bring.
Big Love to you,
Jenny H. in OR
Dear Sharyn,
On one end of the stick are your ohhhs, on the other is the unending comfort you bring to your dear Caleb. As you dream of cherishing the difficult moments, please know that your words on this blog already reveal them as the treasures of an age.
Thinking of you, and doubting the balmy waters are done with you, ever... with love,
Alexa
Sharyn,
I am a firm believer it is the ahhh moments that get us thru the ohhh times. Being able to relive those times is such a gift. We cherish our ahhhh times and I see you do also. I consider them my "happy place" I love going to my happy place. Peace and love to you all. One step at a time you will be fine.
Sharyn, I have always admired your ability to be in the moment--but I think I have just seen the down side of the issue. The ohhh moment is not be be savored like the ahhh moment, I think. This is where a good dose of dreaming or plain old-fashioned denial has its place. Love in all moments--El
sharyn
thank you again for your words. i have had so many ohhh moments in my life and i am living an ahhh right now.
i can see both ends of the stick as you call it..... the ohhh end, being quite sticky indeed.
through my recent journey your words have helped me, my journey started in august when i first found your words, and you have helped me look inside myself. i thank you for that.
i hope that my words, and everyone else's words here can help you through your ohhh moments..... so that you can focus on the ahhh's in the future.
caleb is strong and progresses well at his own pace. he is lucky to have your love by his side, as well as all the rest of the tribe.
be well today, keep good thoughts and know that i am still praying for you all.
peace to you
amy in ct
Sharyn,
OMG! I can't imagine what the Israeli guy with his tongue cut out felt like in front of you. You already have enough unfair advantages.... It's hard enough with my tongue in to stay up to you! Talk about ohhhh's and ahhhh's, you have your post entered twice here today.... Is that an ohhhh or an ahhhh? Maybe I should hold my tongue here? Ooooh....
Ahhhh, with it being Leap Year we all get to enjoy the Potter/Lindsay clan one more day this year!
Ohhhh, but you also have one more day to put up with me!
Kevin
Hello Sharyn,
Well it sure has been an "OHHHHHH" kind of few months. And yes,the deep breaths help to keep us going.
We must remember how precious life is and how,in a split second,it can change us forever. I know you know this----I am just reminding myself.
I hope Caleb continues to heal and stays on the up-hill swing. My love to you all and lots of positive energy. Penny on St.John
Sharyn-
It is truly a blessing to have ahhh and ohhhh moments in life. Although, sometimes painful to think back upon they are so important in the course of life. Both wonderful and torturous being that they reflect the past, what was at that moment. We all must look back on our lives at some point and reflect, that is how we make it through to yet another day. Childhood memories, wonderful days at the beach, drunk nights, snow storms, and missed kisses. What a story though to tell your grand children, thats what moments like that are for.
All my love on this rainy Cape Cod day,
P-town girl
Sharyn I hope you know you are never alone in your Ohhh moments.
I doubt many of us will ever meet, but boy do I feel like you have all helped me and we have all played a little role in helping you.
Your boys are young, you are young, you will have so many more ahhh moments in your life, that the ohh's will never rule!
Think grandchildren, think hottie gran in her red lipstick.
Your words inspire the masses. I do hope someday this blog will find a way to become a book.
i.e. caterpillar to a butterfly
J
what will bring you through this sharyn is your amazing ability to know that there is a reason above it all. What tests you are all being tried with!! I see caleb struggling to find that "self" that he once was, and, I truly believe still is, just a scrambled version. I wish to give him patience with himself and all of us....it is such a difficult situation for everyone. Sending love and happy thoughts....amystj
Sending love, prayers, and BIG smiles on the warm wind 2 u all hoping it reaches you well..
Our lil Caleb garden here is doing really well, flourishing as is Caleb.. I miss you all so much.
Stay positive, & keep the faith.
Xo.. Clance & family.
It's the ohhhh moments that help make the ahhhh moments so sweet, yes? Following that theory, I forecast that your ohhhh moments will ease, and your ahhhh moments will be elevated beyond imagination...
The better time and place are right around the corner ......You will get there, with Caleb showing the way. Time is the thing...we never have enough of; it is fleeting and can leave us standing still if we lose track, and yet we look ahead in anticipation, wishing it away without realizing what moments we are missing in the meantime.....and over time our perceptions of moments in time can shift...ohhhs can turn to ahhhs.... it just takes time......
Wishing you well, and still lighting Caleb's candle,
As always, with hope,
peg from PA
Sharyn,
I think the only way from Ohhh to Ahhh is with Aha. And I am sure Caleb is filled with many Ahas; always has been. I wish you all many Aha moments; they always surprise us.
Jackie
First of all, Peg, you rock! You never complain, you write beautifully, you survive. Thank you.
Sharyn,
We could never appreciate the sweet without the bitter, the sugar with the salt, etc.....ooohs and aaahs go together for a reason.
A while ago I was recounting to a friend that sometimes when life is absolutely crazy and everything seems swirling all around, I try to find a couple of small calm spots in my life and those are where I try to mentally visit more frequenty.
Her astute response to me was that those are most likely where most true living takes place.
An ahhh ha moment
[If I have written this before forgive me as my head feels like it is filled with cotton candy (with this cold/flu)
Sharyn,
You should write a book, really! and be making mucho mucho dineiro (how is that spelled?). You are such an amazing writer. As well as an inspiring mom.
thanks for sharing this beautiful piece of your wisdom.
Dash's Mom.
hey sharon this is my first post although I check your blog every day...but this post really hit me..I am turning 30 this week and I have been kinda sappy lately....I remember when i was in Bocas, and having been away from my mom for the longest time ever in my life!!!!,it was starting to really hit me...then out of the blue I saw you...and I remember starting to cry cause you were the closets thing to a mom I knew coming towards me.... I just went AHHH I will be ok...
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