On the fourth of July, 2007 Caleb Potter was involved in a skateboarding accident.
He suffered serious injuries and continues to need all of our positive thoughts and prayers.
This blog is to serve as a space for updates on Caleb's journey of recovery.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Just today

There is a pregnant space between the last breath of sleep, and the first of wakefullness in which every morning I get reminded of the reality of what is now. It is a painful second where I remember how our lives have been changed in so many ways.
It is also the time where I can dare to dream with the fullness of morning bearing down...for out of grief and pain .. a new feeling emerges ........hope. It is in hope that I can picture us smiling in the future, without a grimace behind the lips. It is in hope that I can hold fast to the possibiliteis of us. It is in hope that I dare to dance with the thoughts of what will be.

Caleb, my Caleb ... I miss you so much.. and yet you are here - a different you, a softer, more silent you. You are emerging; a wobbly, foal legged man with a grin still so big it threatens to eat me up. I will today, think the most positive thoughts and dream the most daring dreams for you.....for it is not in this moment that change occurs, it is in our thoughts of tomorrow..... and the next and the next........

29 comments:

Kevin Scalley said...

Sharyn,

Keep doing what your doing......

Kevin

Julie said...

The sun is shining it will be a beautiful day. Hang in there...

J

suzibee said...

We only ever have this very moment we are in. Be there. Breathe deeply. And as Kevin said...keep doing what you are doing. Take care of yourself...fiercely, gently.... whatever works for each particular day...always.
Suzibee

blackbird said...

It sounds difficult, yes, but I'm hopeful WITH YOU.

NY/Wellfleet Mom said...

Keep thinking positive thoughts and dreaming daring dreams. Anything is possible.

NY/Wellfleet Mom

Lesa said...

To every thing there is a season. While I will always hold the Potter clan in my heart, it's time for me to hug this community, bid it well and turn toward what is waiting for me around the next corner of my life. I am here if ever anyone in this community should need to call on me. I know that Caleb will continue to grow and develop in his own way and in his way he will continue to be a gift in this world. I am confident that Sharyn and everyone else in this community will also continue on similar journeys. Each of us is the light of the world.
We opened the cottage two weeks ago and plan on spending as much time as we can in Provincetown but also in Wellfleet and Truro this summer. So, I'll still be in the loop but further back in the shadow of the heart.
Be well.
Lesa

Jeff- in the Berkshires said...
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Jeff- in the Berkshires said...

Sharyn,
The time of day you write of is what I like to think of as a "thin space" ; where boundary lines between the natural and spiritual worlds overlap and the borders are blurred. It is in these places where, IMO, the Great Spirit visits often and were we are most receptive to this presence. It is a source of safety and security to express the pain of what is bearing down on us while at the same time feel the source of great hope and possibility that is equally real. It is my most favorite time of day.

You can hold on to the possibilities because they are real! Just as your dreams and hopes on those bleak dark and rainy nights at MGH have now become real and live in Caleb's bright grin. Back then they were only possibilities. How could we all of imagined! :)

We never know how our dreams will turn out, but it is in those dreams that we imagine the path and the possibilities and become in sync with the Spirit.

So Sharyn, today I will also dream with you and celebrate all the past dreams that have come true. Dare to dream big, dare to see them come true.

Jeff

Deb said...

H - Happy
O - Optimism
P - Perpetual
E - Everlasting

Consider yourself hugged, Sharyn.

Susanna said...

Fare well Lesa.

jff said...

At this moment that you are in, you have hope and dreams and I think that is what saves us from despair. You are feeling what is in the moment....moment by moment...it is a far easier way to handle the glitches/slips/despair...I try to follow the same...you are doing just fine at least from how it is seen from the outside looking in..always a heroine...

Jackie said...

Sharyn,
Jeff (in the Berkshires) is so right. Who ever would have imagined that Caleb could have come so far in such a short time. He is amazing and strong and he's not done yet. Keep believing and we will stay with you on this journey.
Jackie in NY

Jerry G said...
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Jerry G said...

Sharyn, you've heard me say on many occasions that the healing process is long... very long. But please take heart, forward motion, however slow, is to be celebrated. You've all had more than your share of setbacks, but it's good to hear that you're looking ahead and not dwelling on the past.

My family and I had the pleasure of a chance encounter with Jennie over the holiday weekend. Though we didn't have much time to talk, Jennie met my two daughters and my guess is that she wouldn't have picked out the one who, several years ago, was unable to speak, walk, or use her right arm. My point is, her journey has been a long one, and her story continues to unfold even today. So by all means, dare to dream those dreams of the future. Tomorrow may not shape up exactly as you envision it, but it will surely bring surprises and incremental progress toward a future filled with way more smiles than grimaces.

And Jennie, if you're reading this, it was truly a pleasure seeing you again and we're looking forward to a *big* 4th of July celebration!

Jerry & family

amy in ct said...

sharyn
you are so wonderful to share your feelings with us all like that. and we are right there beside you, thinking of the hope filled tomorrow that awaits caleb and your family.

hope.... it is what we cling to...

prayers to all
amy in ct

Jennie said...

so i am sitting here alone, in me and calebs bed, in our apartment, which holds so many wonderful, happy and positive memories. but it is definitly missing something, and that is my caleb and everything he embodies. when i am missing caleb, which is every minute or everyday, i sometimes sit and check the blog and look at pictures of caleb and i and all our friends. sharyn, this blog was so true and i am in tears writing this comment. i miss the old caleb more than ever, and ur desciption of how is he right now is so on point. He is gentle, silent at times, so appreciative and you can see the determination to get better in his eyes more and more everyday...
..jerry, it was so nice meeting you and ur family. there is something special about the connection that has been made between all different people thru this experience of caleb getting hurt, and i think it will follow us our whole lives. I hope to see u and ur fam down for july 4th...and dont forget, bring ur pirate flags.

...i will now go to sleep wearing calebs t-shirt, dreaming of him and snuggling my caleb teddy bear

(sorry for any misspelled words. i worked a double today and wrote this whole thing behind tears)

-love jennie

Julie said...

Jennie,

You are so sweet. Hold onto your memories but know that you and Caleb will make many many more over the years to come.
I hope although you are working hard, you still are having some fun!

J

Jeff- in the Berkshires said...

Jennie, A great big cyber hug to you.

While we have never met your words and actions make me believe that you are an old soul and old here is definitely not a negative. You are as consistent and reliable as the tides while at the same time refreshing and new as each tide, and seem to work as many hours as the tides. You seem mature beyond your years.

To you I send positive, warm and good thoughts, now and in those times when you are sitting alone remembering and dreaming. When we say here that we are thinking of you we really are, at the strangest of times in the day and in the middle of the night.

Today I will dream with you. I will cast upon the winds a dream of happiness and future warm sweet memories for you and Caleb and a dream of peace.

Jeff

Amy said...

Jennie and Sharyn, I feel for your loss because it is a loss of the Caleb you knew. Without knowing Caleb before or now, most of us cannot appreciate that difference, but what both of you have written makes it clear how painful that difference must still be. We will all continue to pray for and hope for Caleb's continuing recovery.

Amy from western MA

Gail said...

Happy Birthday Caleb !

Kim Harris said...

HAPPY B-day Leb! I wish I could be there to give you all a big hug!
I hope you guys got my little package. I think about you all, all the time. My love and thoughts are with you today and everyday!
Love,
Kim
kimalysonharris@aol.com

Jeff- in the Berkshires said...

Happy Birthday Caleb!!!

Sky said...

Happy Birthday Yellowbeard!

Gail Hunter said...

Happy Birthday Yellow Beard!! This is a milestone that must be appreciated and celebrated. Your story has created a web of relationships and support and appreciation for life. Many have found hope, and a new start in their own journeys of discovery and growth. Your struggles and your triumphs have a deeper meaning for so many. So I'm lighting candles today and singing a happy song to rejoice in your LIFE!! And to thank you and your loved ones as always for opening up your hearts to all of us.

Unknown said...

Sharyn and Jennie,
I have thought of you both and all you have been through many times over the course of this day. You speak to the poignancy of your loss, and your hopes for what the future will bring with such clarity and grace......you move me.

Today, I sanded the old kitchen table at which Greg's children used to sit down for meals or homework or parties (it took some rugged use through their teenage years). As the old finish disappeared along with pen marks, magic marker squiggles, angry scratches, and the residue of plenty of spilled milk, a beautiful grain emerged, one that had been hidden for many years.

I felt for a moment a pang of loss for that part of their childhood and Greg's former life as a husband and Dad that I was sanding away. As I worked and pondered the nature of loss I realized that I was but preparing the table for a new life, one that will bear witness to the lives of new children (grands, but not too soon, please!) and more family meals and parties, tales of love and heartbreak and the rigors of daily life. It's smooth new finish will mellow into a rich patina of memories, new and old, as will our lives.

Happy Rebirthday, Caleb....

As always, with hope,
peg from PA

Susanna said...

there is no future...there is no past
i can't control my destiny
i trust my soul
my only goal...is just...to be!

there's only now
there's only here
give in to love
or live in fear

no other path
no other way
no day but today!

"another day" from "rent

Jerry G said...

HBTC!!!!!

Caleb, I hope you had a *great* birthday!!!

Looking forward to meeting you one of these days -

Jerry

arose said...

Beautiful posting, Sharyn. You awaken me to the power of hope, again and again.

A belated happy birthday to Caleb-- great photos!

Love,
Alexa

t said...
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