It may not be for awhile that I am able to speak to you..
I sit before you with a spasm in my heart, a bludgeoning of my soul.
I watched with horror as Kai slumped over his father and wept...I reached out for Max moments before he shut down ....
I sat with Caleb as he tried to sift through the fog of his already damaged brain....
This morning, Jan sorted out his life into neat little piles on his kitchen table, walked with a loaded gun to the beach and shot himself.
I rubbed his head moments after his body was still..and I felt his blood trickle onto my little finger.
I pressed his blood to my lips, drank it in..... and gave him a final kiss goodbye.
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212 comments:
1 – 200 of 212 Newer› Newest»take all the time needed.. we are praying, and love you immensely.
In this time without speech may you and all your family be overcome with love. With endless prayers, Lisa K.
Jan was a man of the Ocean....
tonight....our tears overflow....and the rain falls .... with our tears.....many tears...
the ocean will hold them all.....
be strong...
there is so much healing that we ALL have to do..and we will ALL do it together.....
....we love you sharyn...
we love you Caleb...we love you Kai....we love you max..we love you Jennie..we love you, sarah....
we love you.......jan.......fare forward...
Peace to this very VERY special worldwide circle of Love and Love's energy made manifest....
in sorrow we will face tomorrow....and ....we'll breathe it into another ...today
sleep ... light!ly
with Spirit---from our little corner of the darkness..of the universe...love, gb and ch/dad
Thanks Papa Ch..
You are all surrounded by love,prayer, and caring. We all want to be there for all of you at this time.
Sharon, Caleb, Kai & Max, Many prayers are for all of you tonight and forever!
My eyes are an ocean in which my dreams are reflected.
It's like barbed wire in our heart, and a stinging salt in our eyes. No words can heal this. Music at least can soothe.
My huband David and I would like to send a song he wrote and recorded over to you. We just need an address that we know can accept an MP3 file. Can anyone help us out here?
~Tricia Duffy
I don't understand... nothing seems to make much sense anymore.
Please know that people are thinking of you and sending all kinds of courage and hope and strength in your direction. This is beyond unfair.
Sharyn, Caleb, Kai and Max - as you have been there for me in the past; whatever you need....please do not hesitate. you know where to find me. always, victoria
I've not commented on the blog before, though I've checked every day since forever to catch up on Cabes...and now this.
We are shattered, yet not irreparably broken. Breathless, but still sipping that sweet air of life. Bound by love & tears, angry, and mystified.
Jan my friend, may you travel quickly and well into the light, borne on the breath and love and intention of us still in the flesh and with you in spirit. You are free, go now, and you who were worried beyond bearing, you are released with love.
We who are here still, have work to do, lives to manage and carry on, so let's just do that, in the memory of Jan, one who did so much and asked for little more than to have his freedom absolutely upheld.
Sharyn, Kai, Max and Caleb, Ken and Bob, Vivi and Poi, and especially Sarah, breathe well, live on. We need you to.
tricia, you can send it to me. with love, sky (novembersky.freysscole@gmail.com)
Dear Sharyn,Kai,Max,and Caleb, Sarah, and all of the Potter family......We are saddened and shocked by the loss of Jan. He was a true friend who always found time to help, console and laugh with us. My family will always feel his absence since he is part of the walls and roof of our life in Wellfleet. And, I will truely feel the loss of his friendship. Prayers and love are extended to you all...
Roberta, Melissa,and Evan K Wellfleet/NY
I am at a complete loss of words,
take comfort and hold those boys close to you.
Tracy DelSignore
in the berkshires
I walked home through the city tonight from a happy celebration with my hands in my coat pocket, breathing in spring air for the first time in quite some time. After a winter of extreme ups and downs, the air felt magic and signaled a well needed change from the norm.
I read the blog as I climbed into bed, and I heard a sound. I read, and as I did so, the sky started to pour down spring rain. The rain continues to fall. Even in the comfort of my small bedroom, I feel the rain fall and move around me in the wind. I think of the movement, water, air, and you.
It's a bad night in the fleet, rain and wind and all this, and KC and I just trying to figure it out. I don't think we're going to come up with anything. So it seems like unconditional love time, for Jan and all of you. Heartfelt condolences from Railroad Ave.--Eric Williams & K.C. Myers
Oh, Sharyn...
My heart and prayers go out to you...I wish I could ease the pain that you and your family feel. May the thoughts and prayers of so many who love you and your family, hold and support you through this.
My deepest sympathy,
DD
why?
why???
why did jan choose to go when there is so much love and beauty and open hearts and kindness surrounding you all...?
why? when spring is in the air and caleb is just getting back on the bicycle and riding strong...
why did jan let go?
all ways love and prayers to you sharyn and boys
peace
I am holding you all in my heart.
Words, which are so often my strength, fail me now. Just know that you are in my thoughts...my thoughts, my tears and my prayers.
With profound love,
Susan
My heart and prayers are with you all. I am so sorry. I love you guys!
Meghan Donahue
My heart and prayers are with you all. I am so sorry. I love you guys!
Meghan Donahue
jan, i remember you smiling...may you be at peace. and know that you are loved.
sharyn, caleb, kai, and max,
may warm love surround you when it's cold, and may soft light shine upon you when it's dark. may the endless strength you have found in each other be there for you now.
my heart aches and i wish i could take this heavy burden from you all...
sending endless love,
jen in nj.
When it rains it sure pours. My heart is aching just thinking about all you are going through. I send my condolences and send prayers your way during this very hard time. I am praying for God to give you strength in your hours of need.
My heart,
Corey
Sharyn,
You are SO strong. Please know how much this hits me for you and your wonderful wonderful boys...I can not possibly say here what I feel for all of you right now...
Kevin
WHY?!?!
oh dear God. neverending prayers.
I can not possibly begin to say what I feel on this April "Fools" Day. My heart goes out to the whole Lindsay/Potter family during this immensely painful time.
sharyn.
i am so sad, so heartbroken over this tragedy... i only just heard and i feel that trying to talk to you over the internet cheapens the pain i know you are feeling.
please know that i have always been thinking about you.... i love you. i love you all so much. i'm so sorry.
haley
Pray for us all, for the Potters-Sharyn, Caleb, Kai & Max, for Sarah, for all of us here in Wellfleet. For Jan....Give us strength & courage at this tragic time. Fill our hearts with love and hope. Help us heal and be strong. Help us understand?
there are no words.
I know the anguish in my own son's eyes when his Dad made several unsuccessful attempts to do the same thing.
This will be the hardest hurt to heal for your boys. The hurt you'll feel will be matched by anger, I'm sure, that your beautiful boys have to bear this.
I don't know you but please know that I'm praying for you all every day!
I'm so sorry for your pain.
Oh Sarah, my heart sends you all the love you need to wrap around your broken heart and life...may you heal with time...
Max and Kai, I know how you feel because this happened to me. You are scared, confused, angry, sore with hurt that touches every part of you, reeling with incomprehension, wanting to scream, and you have the task of helping Caleb understand the agony in the air around him. I hope you are able to be with Sarah and share this unspeakable grief.
take all the time you need. My thoughts and prayers are with you all
~Tabitha
Please know that my family is holding your family in our hearts.
We're so very sorry. Our hearts go out to you all.
with love,
janet and david
Much much love to you all. As much as I'll miss his sweet kindness as my neighbor and knight in shining armor, I cannot fathom your pain at this time, but will continue praying for you day and night.
Love, Claire
We love you guys so much! We are so sorry for the tragety that has happened. We wish we cold hold you in our arms & will asap. Deepest love & prayers to you, Sarah, Caleb, Kai, Max & Sharyn. Stay strong & stay together. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
All of you have been constantly in my thoughts since I heard about Jan. Just know we are all here for you if there is anything at all anyone can do.
You are in our thoughts, our hearts and our prayers...
Marcia, Sam and Jeffrey Duggan
-Such extremes of intense pain and intense joy that we experience as we travel our journey. Yet, from within,over time our innate sense of resiliancy begins to embrace us. Hold hope for your tomorrows. May the love and caring of all of us help to hold you up and reassure your spirit of the peace,promise and joy sure to come in time.
Much Love,
Louise & Buzzy
I am so sorry for your loss. My first thought was Caleb...I hope this doesn't set him back, I hope he doesn't feel in anyway responsible. The reason I say this is because we always blame ourselves for others hurt, pain, and tragedy.
Stay strong if you can, and lean on the ones who love you most. Your community will rally once again.
Blessing, love, strength, and support go out to you now.
I'm so sorry, I'm in shock.
J
No words, just prayers for you all as I wake today and think of you.
Amy from western MA
Oh my God!! I am soo soo sad, my heart aces and love goes out to you Sharyn, Kai, Max and Caleb. You must stay strong...this was irresponsible and selfish!!! Why did you not reach out Jan?? there would have been help.. depression is a dark evil that closes your mind and weighs you down in darkness!
Stay focused, you were all doing so good, you're all strong but don't be afraid to reach out! We're here trying with words and prayers to help but still feeling helpless!
I'm upset and MAD this should have not happened!! Never be afraid to reach out....Love to you all
Eva
I hope down the road when the healing has begun, this terrible tragedy can be explained. Was he suffering for years? Why did he not reach out to the tight community/family that he had?
Do the boys suffer from the same illness? Will they get help before it is too late.
My heart aches, my heart breaks for you all.
We are all here for you Potter family. You are so loved, please feel it.
Casey
Sharyn, Kai, Max, and Caleb -
My heart goes out to you tonight, and on all nights. May you find peace.
~Karen in NY
Sharyn.
Such sad news. Many prayers go out to you and your boys. Take all the time that you need.
Peggy from Western MA
I weep for you and your family. May God wrap you in his arms and provide you some guidance to make it one day at a time. Keep Faith even when it seems harder and harder to do so. You will be EXTRA strong in my prayers!
travel safe my friend Jan you will be sorely missed..
How could it be? How could it be? Such sorrow and tragedy. Love and compassion to you all.
I have no words but just feel an incredible sadness for Jan's family, Sarah and his many, many friends. You are all in my thoughts and heart. Take care and be well, Ashley
Sharyn, Max, Kai, Sara, Jenny, Shaye and Caleb. . . Keep the communication flowing between you all. Depression is in the D.N.A. sometimes. Keep tabs on each other.
Nothing else matters but your tears and hugs. Take your time. There is no right or wrong way to feel or to grieve.
Your relationships will take on a more genuine glow. You need your friends now more than ever and we need to feel like we can help. Everyone is confused.
Our family sends HUGS to you this morning.
Settie, Zack and Ella Mae
I am so sorry. Peace be with you Jan, and with the family you have left behind.
I speak for myself and no one else. Still. . . . please all writers know that our anger, fear, frustration or judgment will reach the family just as our love and prayers will. Please spare them of any negative energy -- we all can give them the gift of just our love and healing light, and I believe it is merciful to do so. Of course your grief matters as well, and I pray for all those grieving. Yet the family deserves only light at this dark, dark time. With deep respect, Lisa K.
Sharyn & family, hopefully you saw my message to you on your last post. I had posted before this one arrived. Be well and please find me if you need anything, anything at all.
-Arozana
i am thinking of you, and praying for you. i'm so so sorry.
S from KY
Falling-
Yesterday's impressions
are etched into my mind,
Though much of what I did
was just the same.
It was an ordinary morning,
on an ordinary day,
When a friend of mine
just washed away like rain.
I sat beside my window,
to catch the morning light,
Something so familiar seemed so strange,
Like I was born into this very room
with infant like dismay,
Feeling the moment slip away.
Oh, I am falling,
no reason or rhyme,
Oh, I am falling,
it's so much a matter of time.
So much frustration,
so much gone to waste,
so much love
just emptied into space.
It was an ordinary morning,
on an ordinary day,
And nothing will ever be the same.
Peace to all-
Audrey and Greg
There is so much that is beautiful in this world. Why is it that it can sometimes be so hard to see. It's hard to comprehend the pain Jan must have been feeling.
You and your sons are clearly a very strong family as you have already found ways to survive and move forwards past obstacles that would have stopped many in their tracks.
Stay strong.
Its hard to comprehend the pain you all must be feeling.
ANGER....is one of the many emotions we feel when someone choses this "way out". Anger is not a bad thing when you use it to give yourself strength. Use your anger to make you strong. Be spiteful about this. "In SPITE of this, I will be strong. My family needs ME...I must be strong for my family." Let your anger lift you and give YOU the strength to deal. Im sorry...this family has seen enough hurt, they need to pull strength out of this. Turn your sadness into pity for him. Forgiveness can come later, for now, strength is needed. Feeling angry is a natural emotion. Turn your anger into STRENGTH.
Some people have to deal with this alone. You have so many to give you the support you will need, take your strength from whatever you can. Im sending the power and strength to you, along with all here who love you.
Sharyn,i am so sad for you and the boys. I sit here and weep for the tenth time since i found out about this last night. I am so shocked and scared for caleb's healing thru all of this. I love you all so much. The last time i saw jan was at the very beach he took his life. Im sorry....love grace
there are no words that i can write to you all only how very sorry i am for your pain
sharyn, caleb, kai and max (and everyone in the tribe that knew and loved jan)
my heart goes out to you all. know that you are all in my prayers, i hope that this will help you heal your hearts.
no one knows what goes thru someone's mind when they try to take their own life. turmoil, pain, sadness, who knows... my ex-husband tried but failed and then about a year later he passed away from a heart condition. so i am familiar with this loss and confusion.
dont isolate, keep your hearts open to all of our prayers and love.
we are all with you this day, and every day.
amy in ct
There are simply no words that can ease this pain. I am so sorry for you all. I'm sending my prayers, love & strength your way.
Melinda
Sharyn,
I wish that I could send you a pretty package of all the good things in the world. And I wish you and the boys could take turns pulling the wrapping until it all lay before you to share.
There are no words to comfort you I am sure. But know that your circle of love is larger than I have ever seen. I know that it will hug you tight and it is surely what you need at this moment.
All my love...
Sharyn, kai, caleb and max. We send you love and strength from truro, our little family has been watching this blog from day one. My daughter 4yrs old keeps a picture of caleb with her all the time and we make wishes for you and him. Our thoughts are with you still and especially now. I saw you at the gas station the other day and i had to resist coming over to you to give you a big hug. You are such a strong and beautiful woman , and we are all with you and your family..love love love will heal
Sharyn, boys, Sarah, and all of Wellfleet,
Words fail me. I'm so sorry. Just know that we hold you all in our hearts.
Jackie
Wishing you peace and strength.
Sending you love and prayers.
NY/Wellfleet Mom
All of us are terribly shocked and saddened by this and thinking of you every minute. There's nothing one can say except to express deepest sympathy and to assure you of our love and caring.
jack
To all that are so sad at this time, your family and everywhere this blog has entered a heart....first the ocean of tears which need to flow after you find a way to exhale....and then finding and allowing the ability to receive and accepting the arms that are around you...I am with you ....distance makes no difference. Breathe..
Uncle Frank's Judi
I am so sorry to hear the news! We love you all and are holding you in our hearts. I am so sorry that so much pain has come to one family. And such a good family at that, it seems so unfair for sure.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you!
Lauren in CT
My heart just sank...
sharyn,
walking into the hospital last night was like a nightmare that that we've already experienced, i don't understand it.
With the few times I've been able to meet and talk with Jan I always knew he was his own person and a disciplined one
and I always respected him for this.
With every piece of my heart I believe that a spirit never dies, how can it?
Jan will be riding the waves
soaring in the sky
and like April first, pouring raindrops on our roof tops and souls.
I can't imagine the pain in your hearts, or the exhaustion that you must feel in every part of your body.
Myself and everyone else that loves you and your family are sending strength, hope, and more love!
My heart is always with you and with your absolutely wonderful family! I love you all.
Sharyn,Kai,Max,Caleb you just may be the strongest people I've ever met.
Lizzy
As always, first thing in the morning, I checked the blog. I couldn't believe my eyes when I read about the tragedy. Since then I kept on checking every few hours, as I wanted to write something...
I am still speechless and tears run down my cheek... my heart aches...
Sarah, Kai, Max, Caleb, Sharyn, Kerstin, Vivi and Poi, you are all in my thoughts.
Laura
There are no words........What an incredible loss. We are holding you in our hearts on this saddest of days.
With love, Kathy and Owen
Dear Sharyn,Kai,Max,and Caleb;
You have all been through so much. We are so sorry for your loss. Please know that we are all here and sending you our prayers. Stay strong and know that everyone is there for you.
lads,
i dont know even what to say.
i am so far away but i want you to know that im with you now and always.
i love you three like brothers.
jan,
see you in the water good friend.
shaye
My heart weeps for you...my heart weeps with you.
sincere sympathy for you & yours. I don't know what else to say...
I can't imagine the pain you all must be feeling. I'm so removed, and yet feel so numb.
I guess there is no comfort in words right now.
But there are a lot of people thinkign and praying for you all.
May I join them.
endless love and prayers from across the worlds oceans..
luvk
I'm stunned. This feels awful and wrong, and I want with all my might to be able to undo what Jan did. So that somehow he can find the healing he needed.
Potter/Lindsey clan -- sending love and strong healing energy to you all. You are NOT alone in this. I care.
Alison
Hi Sharyn,
We were so looking forward to seeing your smiling face yesterday afternoon and now all of this sadness. Once again our thoughts and prayers go out to all of you at this very difficult time....
Patty, Fred, Jeremy and Heather
Sharon, we may never understand how someone can sink to such depths that they lose sight of what is good in life and those who love them -- that their desperation makes them unable to see beyond their own pain. But that is what can happen with some people, for so many reasons. But this is not your destiny or Kai's, Max's or Caleb's -- we have seen in all of you your ability to see the good and the joy and to rise through and beyond the pain. The climb may seem unattainable at this time, but please trust that with time, you will feel your way back to a place of contentment. You have the spirits within you to work through this pain and the love and support of so many who will help hold you up.
Sonia
you are in all our hearts and minds...may you feel the wind at your back and let it support you. you are so strong, and so loved.
sophia
On top of everything else you're going through, now this. We will all continue to lift you up in our prayers and ask for strength, healing, comfort & guidance for you all. I'm so sorry for your pain and loss. Please know that you are not alone and that so many of us wish that we could lighten your load.
Angry and selfish are the only two words that come to my mind..
This stinks of selfishness deep and wide !! NOT only for the Potter clan left behind and what they obviously have had to endure even before recent events..but for ALL the wonderful people who will have to endure this pain over and over. There were plenty of other beaches...Newcombs Hollow will NEVER be the same..I pity this man.
Sharyn and boys me heart breaks for you. This can only be a time of ENDURING...nothing will ever make sense and questions will never be answered
HOLD eachother tightly.
Jan not only took his own life but at least 3 others as well... What a shame !
Eva...
DITTOS..
Oh Lord God. Help this family. Help all of us. I can't believe what I've just read. I can't believe it.
sympathy and healing light to Jan's family, Jan's friends and to Wellfleet
Patty and Michael
I feel shocked and saddenned by this news. I don't understand, but will continue to pray for your beautiful family
May comfort find you. You are all in my thoughts.
sharyn..once again you are left to pick up the pieces...Please let us help you..
Our little town has suffered many losses this year, and yesterday, with Jan's death, we wept again as a community, a family.
In every face, I saw the deep and meaningful connections Jan has made. Never asking for attention or fanfare, he suffered quietly. His partner, Sarah, his friends and his family knew his soft heart and fragile soul.
Jan carefully planned his leaving. I don't think it is possible to explain how he came to this decision or how he could rationalize the devastating void that he would create.
We will miss him, miss his strong arms and coy smile, miss his charm and clever wit.
Godspeed.
Dear Sharyn & Boys - You may be thinking that you could have done something to prevent this ... "I should have...." "if I had only done...." whatever. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT! We are not God. THIS is NOT YOUR FAULT! You are all in my heart. Joanne L.
I might add to my last comment after reading the anger and selfish comment prior to my entry:
This family has suffered immensely. It is in a dangerous place and each and every one, Sarah included, needs our support, just that. We can't call Jan out for what he did.
We need to allow the Sharyn, Caleb, Kai, Max and Sarah to space to grieve without our opinions. I can't even begin to imagine the anguish.
If anyone has ever known depression, they know it is a very illusive illness and they thought processes are not always rational even though they may seem disciplined.
Let's please be kind and sensitive in our comments.
May we all show loving kindness to Jan's beloved Sarah and the Lindsay/Potter clan. However they need to receive support, may they know it is there for them.
Losing a loved one in a way that leaves us confused or guilty is a terrible burden to bear. Love to all of us who were touched by knowing Jan. Beverly
You took my hand
You showed me how
You promised me you'd be around
Uh huh
That's right
I took your words
And I believed
In everything
You said to me
Yeah huh
That's right
If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong
I know better
Cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew
Remember when we were such fools
And so convinced and just too cool
Oh no
No no
I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you friend
I'd give anything
When someone said count your blessings now
'fore they're long gone
I guess I just didn't know how
I was all wrong
They knew better
Still you said forever
And ever
Who knew
Yeah yeah
I'll keep you locked in my head
Until we meet again
Until we
Until we meet again
And I won't forget you my friend
What happened
If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong and
That last kiss
I'll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes
It harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep
Your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling
Who knew
My darling
My darling
Who knew
My darling
I miss you
My darling
Who knew
Who knew
Jan has left a gaping hole in this tiny place we call Wellfleet.
What a shame..
I consiter myself lucky to have known Jan. Words can not express such a great loss - you will not be forgotten. Rest in peace...
Caleb, Kai and Max my heart goes out to you during this difficult time. Thinking of you always...
Jenni Bull
Oh Sharyn and sweet boys, I am so sad and utterly lost for words. The anguish and the pain you must be feeling is swirling around me and my eyes are filled with tears. I am very sorry and send all of my love to you. Penny on St.John
standing in a puddle of love, my tears.
i am so sorry and sad for the pain your magnificent & inspiring family is having to endure.
waves of light & hope flow from my heart to you all...and the entire community who has loved you.
deirdre
I'm heartbroken for you and your beautiful boys...I've gone though something like this and it takes time but things can get better. Try not to give up hope. I'm praying for you and the boys--all of you. Strength and light. So very very sorry. Sheila in CT
All our hearts weep with you.
Susie
This is such a horrible shock. I am so sorry that this has happened. You and your family are in my prayers.
this is too beautiful.......... i felt it should be posted again. thank you chuck,
Jan was a man of the Ocean....
tonight....our tears overflow....and the rain falls .... with our tears.....many tears...
the ocean will hold them all.....
be strong...
there is so much healing that we ALL have to do..and we will ALL do it together.....
....we love you sharyn...
we love you Caleb...we love you Kai....we love you max..we love you Jennie..we love you, sarah....
we love you.......jan.......fare forward...
Peace to this very VERY special worldwide circle of Love and Love's energy made manifest....
in sorrow we will face tomorrow....and ....we'll breathe it into another ...today
sleep ... light!ly
with Spirit---from our little corner of the darkness..of the universe...love, gb and ch/dad
For those of you who can't understand it--it is not for us to understand-just know the black hole you "can't understand" --has nothing to do with those left....it is not in the thought--that is HOW DEEP it is..(the WOULDAs SHOULDas will turn our innards for a long time but there is nothing we could do)....All I know if that we love the person who left us, weep for the pain they felt, and support those who mourn and there is no finer to surround the family than in Wellfleet.
I am so sorry- so very sorry
Sharyn, Caleb, Kai & Max and Sarah,
I'm so sorry to hear the tragic news. Our hearts go out to all of you.
love, monica & linda
My heart aches for you, Sharyn. Kai, Max and Caleb please stay strong. I love you all
The light from the hearts of your friends are shining on you all today. We hope you can feel the love. Jan will be missed but never forgotten. When such a tragedy befalls a family the only thing to do is talk to one another. Hold nothing back. If you're angry, yell. If your sad, cry. If you're confused, talk to each other.
Jeremiah and Alanna
Sharyn, Caleb, Kai, and Max,
Bruce and I send our thoughts and prayers your way. No words can say how very sorry we are.
Hold on to each other and try, try, try, to stay strong.
Dear Sharyn,Sarah,Caleb,Kai,Max,family and friends...
My heartfelt love,thoughts and prayers to all during this unexplainable time. Stay strong.
Jan, I hope you found your perfect wave. It was a pleasure to have known you but we were not ready to say goodbye. You will be missed.
Peace
Eric G
Reading this blog has become part of my day...I'm reeling from the horrible news I've just read. Although we have never met, I love and care for your family. Please know that I am part of the circle of friends , family, and strangers that surround you and your family with love and prayers. We will pull our circle tight and hold you strong! Angie
We are so sorry- this is unimaginable and there aren't any words. Our thoughts and love go out to you; Sharyn, Kai, Max and Caleb, and Jan's kind family. We care deeply about Jan and are so pained to hear this,
Love from Neil and Carrie
we are so very sorry. Be strong.
You and your sons are in our hearts always.
My prayers are for you all.
my prayers go out to the potter family, be strong.
Oh, my dear, dear Sharyn...and Caleb, Kai, Max, and large circle of extended family and friends...I cannot find the right words to tell you how very very sorry I am...and how much you are carried in my heart. How you must be hurting. You have spent such a long time healing yourselves together and now you are aching again. Your courage your faith are astonishing. Keep them close every minute. So many are sending waves of love your way. Do not give up!
Suzibee
Om Namah Shivaya
Om Namah Shivaya
Om Namah Shivaya
May light wrap your hearts and protect them in its warmth.
Confusion, utter disparity of luck or pain. Why now? Why your family again?
Om Namah Shivaya
Om Namah Shivaya
Om Namah Shivaya
Sharyn, Sarah, Caleb, Kai, Max, Jennie-
We will pray for you and hold you in our aching hearts at this tragic time. We are away and it seems so surreal, but know that we are thinking of you every second. Just when you thought that you couldn't get any stronger, YOU WILL BE! And we will all be with you to help you stay positive and heal.
Love, family, community, friends, time- all of the blessings we have will get us ALL through this sad time. No one should ever has to go through this much pain... Please know that you are all NEVER alone.
Sending much love to heal your sorrow-
Jess & Justin
I am so sorry to hear of Jan's death. As was mentioned by a previous blogger, Jan was a humble, private man, never seeking the limelight or needing fawning attention no matter what the situation was. He loved his sons deeply and was profoundly in love with his dear Sarah. It is so tragic that he couldn't find a way out of his thoughts and fears. Sarah and the boys will need everyone's love and support.
May God bless you and hold you safe and calm during this tragic time....thoughts and many prayers are being sent to you today....peace to all who knew and loved Jan...my heartaches for you all....
Godspeed
Lisa in Annapolis
My heart is with you in your time of sorrow.
Kathy, Mom in CT
Dear Sharyn, Caleb, Kai and Max:
I am in shock, in an utter state of disbelief. The last time I felt this way was on July 5th when I first heard about Caleb's accident. I am so sorry... I cannot imagine what you are all going through, it must be so raw, so confusing, so uneblievable.
I clearly remember the day, it must have been August '84, Jan approached me in the parking lot at Newcomb's and asked me if I wanted to work with him... I felt intimidated because I knew he was such a good builder. I had so little experience, I was anxious about being able to do a good enough job for him. I admired him for his skill, his independent spirit, his energy and wisdom. It has obvioulsy carried on in all 3 Potter boys. And with an awe-inspiring mother like Sharyn, you guys have matured into wonderful human beings...
I know in a place like Wellfleeet you will have all of the support you need, not to mention from within your family and close circle of friends. Take what you need, stay close and love each other.
With all our love and deepest sympathies, Claus, Kirsten, Sophia and Sacha
I have been in shock all day.
I send everyone involved a prayer to help you begin to heal.
I have been thinking of the wonderful smile, and hello kisses that I recieved from Jan in the past 30 years.
I grieve for all of you who will not recieve those again.
Sarah in Eastham
I have seen so much unimaginable pain in the last year. It keeps the small stuff in perspective and makes me so thankful for the joy of every carefree moment and the safe existence of all my loved ones--especially my 3 brothers and my husband who is 1 of 3 brothers. The sun will shine gently upon you all again—just hold on—you have so much incredible support.
Potters and mom, family, friends, all of Wellfleet.....We need to really love each other and spread light into the hearts of all we encounter. It is our job...to be loving and kind today, and from this day forth. I am thinking a prayer circle on Town Hall lawn on Friday? At 8 PM? What do you all think? Lisa
There are no words. My heart aches for you and I am saddened that I was never blessed by Jan's presence. Much love and peace.
You are not alone.
We all share some small portion of the loss, and anger, and sadness.
I'll choose to remember him smiling at a table with Sarah at the Flying Fish. Scrubble-face, wide smile, lights reflecting off his big glasses, arms like tree trunks and speaking with a gentle voice as he looked me in the eye and extended his hand.
I hope that at least he found peace in the view of the waves as the world blinked away.
I am sorry that it is you who are already struggling who are left to pick up the pieces. I'm sure Jan is too.
Much love. Hold strong.
Jon
thinking of you,honoring your sorrow,wishing you peace.
I will be there friday- in my heart i am there now- as we all are sending our light and love to wellfleet and beyond. ann m
There are no words to describe the depth of our sorrow for you and your family. Our prayers and love.
Pat, Anna, and Ethan
I am sitting here stunned, wondering what I could possibly say to comfort you...
I am so sorry...so saddened...
thinking about all of you in my deepest prayers, today and forever.
May god watch over all of you and give you the strength you need to endure.
We love you! ~Barbara
May you see God's light on the path ahead
When the road you walk is dark.
May you always hear,
Even in your hour of sorrow,
The gentle singing of the lark.
When times are hard may hardness
Never turn your heart to stone,
May you always remember
when the shadows fall—
You do not walk alone.
Dear Potter Family, Sarah, and Wellfleet: I am saddened to hear about Jan. I will have lasting memories of his distinct smile and his kindness that will last with me. I send all of you my prayers.
Sharyn and family,
Oh My God. I am so sorry for your loss. Our deepest prayers go out to you. God Bless you all
Lisa in Pa
sending all of you positive thoughts and healing energy. you are loved.
lizzie in ct
To your whole family, I am deeply, deeply sorry. I send my love, support and prayers, to help you all cope with this devastating loss.
My heart hurts for your family. You are all in my deepest prayers.
nothing but prayers to you all
I am so sorry.
Through our sadness and disbelief at the pain the Potter family must be feeling, remember to every day give thanks and appreciate those we love. It is so easy to take others for granted. Although I never met Jan, it is clear that he had a great presence in this world. He will be greatly missed.
Sharyn, Max, Kai, Caleb and all those sadden by this loss I give my unconditional love, hope and support.
~Stay strong
steph
I wish to offer you some comfort. When in need, I turn to The Prophet, K. Gibran. Today I opened to this page:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, tough it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with his own sacred tears.
May you find some peace with this,
in your own time. Love, Marilyn
Can things be more heartbreaking or tragic for Sarah, Caleb, Kai, Max, Ken, Vivi, Poi, Sharyn and all the other family and friends who loved Jan so much. It's unimaginable the despair and pain Jan must have been feeling to be unable to hold on and let himself be carried and embraced through his darkest night of his soul wrenching anguish by the vast numbers of family and friends who loved him to the other side. It is so painful and sad to think of how alone he must have been feeling.
May he have found some peace, and may his family and friends gather together and hold each other and heal each other to a peaceful place.
My condolences, Sharyn, to you and your family. Unfathomable, and very sad. W/love, David W.
Jan was a good and loved friend and a deep, kind soul and very proud of his boys. He loved them and Sara very much and I will miss him and the wonderful times we shared. Onward, dear Janus.
Love.
Janus Potterus Genius Maximus is what i've known him as since I was a little girl. He was family to us & will be deeply missed by all. My sweet sweet cousin Sarah, Caleb, Kai, Max, Sharon, and everyone else my deepest sympathy goes out to you all. rest in peace dear Janus.
Claire W.
In hopes that my positive thoughts and prayers will bring all those who love Jan and his family some comfort and strength.
May we all find a way to make this world a place where we can feel that there is always hope in the future, a place where no matter how strong the demons seem to be we will be able to hold on until all is once again safe.
My deepest sympathy,
Cathy
All of this long day I thought...and thought again and thought again....and thought again of all of the times I have come close to letting go finally......I have been in that place where life seems untenable, where consideration of others just disappears and the pain of living is too great....but fortunately I have always found something, some small thing to hold me clinging in desperation to this life. I know the pain of needing to let go and it is no one's fault, no one else or nothing else outside of my own head is responsible, it is my pain and my anguish that drives me to that point.... and I weep for Jan that he could not find that one small thing to hold him to this planet. I wish him peace at last.
I weep for you, Sharyn, Caleb, Kai, and Max, and I am anguished beyond words at the pain you must be feeling. You are lodged in my heart and and my soul, and I weep with you.
peg from PA
Sharyn,
My heart and prayers go out to you, your family, Jan and all the people that love him.
peace from LA.
Potter/Lindsey family - we are thinking of you, knowing your strength and love for each other.
Having lost a family member in a similar way, I know how painful this is.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Kate & George
I couldn't believe my eyes when I read this news today. I am so sad for you all. I really have no words. You all will be in my thoughts and I will hope for some peace for you all.
Laura in CT
I need to join with the blogger who commented about the "angry and selfish" entry....this is not a vehicle to voice opinions, but to offer support, love and comfort. Please contact the NIMH and find out about this disease before commenting. Did your writing comfort this family? I wish you peace for yourself.
Prayers to anyone whose lives Jan has touched....
Peter and I held each other and cried a river of tears. How deeply tragic and shocking to lose Jan while life was seemingly brighter for the Lindsay Potter clan. We love you Sharyn. We love your boys. We will all hold you up. Elizabeth and Peter B.
You are all in my prayers.
Oh my God! I can't breathe and my heart is overwhelmed. To all of you, I send much light and love. To all of you - - - be strong. You have each other to cling to now and I'm sure your bond will be even tighter. I cannot tell you in words how sorry I am, how sad I am, and how much I love you all.
I keep thinking "Maybe it's an April Fool's joke?" Of course not, of course not. But my brain just doesn't want to accept that this has happened - to Jan, to his family, to Wellfleet, even to me who knew him only slightly.
I remember reading that Max was especially Jan's child, as we migrate to others when we find like hearts.
So much pain.
I hope the anger some people express here doesn't offend too much. Anger is said to often be a secondary emotion.
God must bless you (I don't know how to underline "must".)
Caleb, Kai, Max, and Sharyn... there simply are no words. We are so very sorry to read this horrific news.
Please, please, please give yourselves space and take care of each other. Our thoughts and prayers are with you now, more than ever.
Jerry G and family
sharon, i can't stop thinking of you and yours, i wish i could do something to ease you, but, i know i can't , only time and prayers will help, i never wrote in before, only read, i hope if you read this and there is anything i can do, shop....sit with you....stay at your place so you can get a walk in or something... i offer my help...if you need it...i am so sad for you all, truely a life challenge, peace be with you .....i send you strength and prayers, love, dawn manning (berry)
Sharyn, Caleb, Kai and Max,
My heart sank when I logged on this day. Please know that you're forever in our thoughts and prayers.
Deb
My deepest love and sympathy goes out to all who are left suffering this great loss. I pray for your strength and your courage.
-O
Sharyn, Kai, Max, Caleb, and Jenny...there are absolutely no words, I know that. My heart is breaking under the weight of this but I know it is not a trillionth of what you feel. I am praying and battling for you and standing over you with all I have in my Spirit. I love you, all of you. Grace and peace to your hearts, and Love that is stronger than death, that surpasses understanding.
Anna
my heart is breaking for you all... i wish i could wrap my arms around you all, that somehow i could take from you some of the pain and frustration that you must be feeling, kai, max, caleb i can't even imagine what you are going through, just know that you are being loved always. this is beyond unfair for you i will be thinking about you all sending prayers and positive thoughts your way my love to you all
my thoughts are with you all tonight. i am so sorry for your loss. i have nothing but love and prayers to send to you all.
We can't imagine what this must feel like right now. Be strong, but let your minds and hearts feel and experience what they need in a time like this. My deepest thoughts and prayers to all that love Jan. A candle will be lit for him tonight
...and more prayers to you...
All the love I can send your way .. Jan was nothing short of wonderful and kind to me, always giving... I don't understand any of it, but I have have nothing but love & compassion for you all.
Melissa
Sharyn and family -
We are all wondering what else can you possibly have to face? Our hearts are so heavy for you and we are feeling the stabs of pain along with you. You have so often said to take life as it comes, rejoice in it, and live it to its fullest. Each day is a gift and you will know that even more now. Maybe you will gain freedom from having to be so strong and just live each day for what it is with its ups and downs, sadness and joy, things you can't control and things you can. We all continue to learn the wonders life reveals. Your family and your experiences have taught us all and given us new strength each day to count our blessings and seize the time we have. Your sorrow will never go away, but it can be a reminder of what is important - to love well the ones you love, to be a friend to the friends who befriend you, to know our time is short, but there is so much to enjoy and much gladness to experience before our journey is through. Many hearts are breaking with yours, but are also sending you love and sharing strength to help you find your center again. Be well, all of you, and find your way out of the dark night to face the sun . . .
Sharyn, Caleb, Kai and Max...I only know you through this blog, but my heart aches for you as it would a life-long friend.
Hey Max, Sharyn, Caleb and Kai
I am really sorry for this to have happened to such an beautiful family. Im really sorry for what your going throught right now. Were thinking of you always.
Max- stay positive.
Love Dave and Zach
I've never met you Sharon, or your family, but the events you've had to encounter have rippled throughout the Cape. My heart is heavy and pounding for you all. As I wake up, go to sleep and breathe the air in between, I send prayers and love and strength to help you all endure. My most deep condolences and love to you, surround you along with millions of others, in strength. Breathe deeply, slowly, throughly.
~Coco
There are no special words here, just offering sympathy and prayers that the universe will give you all the strength to carry on... how incredibly sad and painful. I know I would be still in shock... may your grief be softened by all the love sent your way.
Peace be with you Jan, and to all those left behind.
My mom called me yesterday and told about Jan. I sat stunned and saddened. I prayed and will continue to do so. I am so sorry for your loss. Love you all. Casey
Sharyn, Caleb, Max, Kai - I am so sorry to hear this news. Your family has been tried so much this year. All of us are sending you the strength and the love that you will need to get through this.
Sam G in NYC
Oh, Sharyn, there are no words for this. I will send all the love I have your way, for you and your boys and all who love you. I am so very sorry. Hold onto each other.
Love,
Pam in VT
Dana & Mike said - So sorry to hear this.....know that we are all holding you & yours in our hearts & prayers. With the arrival of spring, hope will emerge....xoxo
I took my dog for a walk at the beach today. I had no idea that was the beach. I heard Jan walked there in the rain and assumed it was a beach nearer his home. At the beach I found a beautiful tribute to Jan. A surf board was standing up in the sand with Jans' picture on it and his hammer attached below it. I was very moved. I hope all of you who loved Jan can find the peace that elluded him.
please do not forget sarah in this wonderful space of love and understanding. she is devastated, too.
yes! Sarah, whom I don't know, but who I hear was Jan's love..I pray that where Jan's love flowed over you while he was here would not be dry now, but instead flooded with a healing love, a soothing presence, and a peaceful knowing that the Lover of your soul is with you..
Jan was a friend to me. We actually became closer after sweet caleb's accident. Jan always made me happy...made me laugh..listened to my words and storys...was more of a father to me than the one that was mine...always there and just knowing that made me feel safe and snug in this world. I will miss him. I send you all my deepest sympathy and greatest love. amystj
I am so sorry.
How can this be? Jan should not be gone...I will remember him as he was...wisecracking and kind. My heart breaks for his family and the pain he must have felt. My memories of him are rushing back, and I can only imagine the suffering of those closer to this. Wishing all left behind peace and healing.
He will be missed.
Merritt
I did not know Jan but admired his buildings, the two I visited - your home and the one designed in our neighborhood last year. My husband Sven met Jan 10 years ago in the history aisle at the library and enjoyed chatting every time they happened to meet after that. We are so sorry for your loss and extend all our condolences in this difficult time.
I am offering my hands, my heart, my help, and my love xoxoxoxoxo
kolleenk23@msn.com
Like everyone before me - I have no words for this tragedy. I know there is little comfort now - but please, Sharyn, Caleb, Max and Kai - please KNOW this is not your fault - and do whatever you need to to really understand that and not ever allow yourselves to think it might have been. Caleb needs to know that. Help him to know it - These are my initial thoughts, protective ones, I guess - and the second thought that comes to mind,after just wnating to wrap my arms around your family and hold you all.
Nancy in NY
Sarah,
I lost my partner the SAME way. I know all your feeling. Confusion, despair, and the endles...why.. WHY...? As I analyzed all over the coming years, I did come to understand all of the why's. And you will too. But now, just take time to grieve. Understanding will come later. Don't dwell on it, it'll only make things worse for you. One day at a time works here, too. My sympathy, strength, prayers & strength vibes are comin your way..
Melinda
with sympathy, love and prayers...
spaulding rehab team
Sarah,
It is almost impossible to imagine this. I feel my body disconnect from the information. I can't imagine it for you. I only can see the two of you beaming or giggling at the end of a bar or in front of the swap shack. Count me among the people who surround you with love and support. Call me when you are ready. I would love to see you and take you away for a respite from this. Yoga, movie, I don't know.
big hugs, Reva
Dear Sharyn and Caleb,
Max and Kai.
I am confronted with disbelief and grief upon learning of your loss. Please know that I am struggling to move through this with you; and am praying for courage & strength to relieve your sorrow.
Laura Krikorian
I believed in you
Well I believed in you
did I say it, did you know
where did you go
gone back to where you came from
gone to save your soul
gone to save your soul
Oh the rising sun
and the place it's coming from
in the rising sun
you can feel your life begin
and it'll take an Ocean to hold your love
cryin' out loud
talkin' to myself
wish I had an answer to give
but I can only offer my love
I beleive Jan was wracked with GUILT and remember only good and decent people have guilt
Dear One's:
We send you love and the Cosmic Comforter. Jan is safe and at peace with and in the Infinite now.
Sharyn, Caleb, Kai, and Max you are always in our thoughts, hopes and prayers. We love you all dearly, so hang on, knowing that ALL of Wellfleet and beyond are there to support and nurture you all.
With Love,
Steve and Laura Gazzano
Jan, I will love you and hold you in my heart for the rest of my life.
Jan, I will love you and hold you in my heart for the rest of my life.
Sue B.
we miss you potters...
My Dear Sharyn, Caleb, Max, Kai, and Sarah....I just read the post, and my heart skipped a beat. Please know that you all continue to be in thought and prayer, and that we all here enbrace you all with tender loving arms. This path for Jan was more than he could bear, and he laid it down. I am so sorry for the loss of his precious life, and the role he played in yours. Let the remembrances bring joy and comfort to you all at this time, and know that we hold you all in LIGHT and LOVE....
IN Love and Gratitude for Jan's life and for how he enriched yours.
WE are with you, sending all the Love, Peace, Understanding you can take in....
Con Todo Carino,
Melinda and MariElena
Day after day, night after night, I watched your family stand tall and accept the surrounding love of the prayer circle for Caleb. We all learned how to be strong in the face of adversity from watching you, being with you and sharing in the challenge that lay ahead. What an amazing family you are. It saddens me that your ability to withstand trauma and sadness will once again be tested. Please know that every bit of love you felt at the circle continues to surround you, and then some. I am a part of that community and my heart is with you. Please feel my virtual hug, caring and love for now. Yvonne Barocas
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