On the fourth of July, 2007 Caleb Potter was involved in a skateboarding accident.
He suffered serious injuries and continues to need all of our positive thoughts and prayers.
This blog is to serve as a space for updates on Caleb's journey of recovery.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Jan

The most recent shock wave to blast through the Potter household has slowly settled to a point where we can all finally look at each other and not find ourselves staring back at the "deer caught in the headlight" look.
We are a tumble of all emotions at once.. sad sometimes, angry at others and mostly lost in the confusion of our minds which will not wrap itself around this.
Once again, the support from everyone is more than we could hope for...thank you.

I wish to address the negative posts that found their way to my eyes before Sky could remove them. I must say that at first I was aghast at the insensitivity. As a younger woman this could have destroyed me for weeks.. but now in this space and time it has given me a measure with which I can calculate how far I have come as this woman that I have morphed into over the years. I can read negative things that were clearly meant for me and brush them aside with a blessing to the angel who delivered them, for that angel was reminding me once again to know, as I know my own name, the woman I have become, and which I now proudly lay a claim to.

For the aftermath...

Sarah, Ken (Jan's sister), the boys and I have become a team support group and we all feel very strongly about keeping in touch with one another through this and have planned a memorial to Jan that we feel is appropriate to him. These two women are crushed with grief and yet maintain clarity of spirit, strength and dignity. I adore them.

The boys -- well the boys are holding up as well, if not better than I expected. There are wisps of soliloquies that reach my ear in passing, there are eyes swollen with tears, there is the deafening quietness, but there is also the hand which silently lands in mine with a prophecy of hope and the pursuit of something that is bigger in terms of understanding. They have chosen a life which has handed them many obstacles... but not a single one that can render them helpless. They are beacons of light and they will find their way.

I too am feeling the loss .. I used to tease Jan by saying " You can end a marriage, but divorce is forever". And this was true for us.. we had issues as anyone can guess, but as a young bride I loved him so very much and when you walk away from each other you cannot just put that love on a shelf .. it stays with you.
I am certain that Jan is now in a better place for Jan, and I am relieved for him. I will celebrate him and my life with him on Sunday and I will choose to play on the side of positive. I don't think I will wear the traditional black of mourning, but I will wear all white as a sign of the light I see in him, and for the freedom he has claimed as his own..

80 comments:

MsGraysea said...

Just perfectly beautiful: all of you, the community, the ability to love, every word written in its own way, every message in those words.
Thank you! Your peace and light are reverberating around the world and bringing healing and hope to countless others.

A grateful follower of this blog since the beginning. A fellow Cape Codder.

Sandals said...

That was touching, and beautiful Sharyn. Give the boys a great big hug from all of us. Throughout this blog, and in life, you are all showing such absolute grace. I am constantly stunned with the raw emotional beauty of life, love, and tragedy. I only wish we could do more.

Sandy in PA

shellie d said...

Sharyn-
You are so beautiful and continue to amaze me with your indomitable spirit- you all do. So much love, Shellie

Lizzie in CT said...

That was beautiful. Thank you for the update. Always thinking good thoughts and sending positive vibes your way.

Anonymous said...

Dear Sharyn, Sarah, Ken, Jan's mom, Max, Kai and Caleb,
My father-in-law commited suicide in much the same manner, at the age of 55, 19 years ago. These posts, these comments, these raw emotions, send me reeling back to those days.

Sharyn, I love your decision to wear white, a reflection of his light. We grew to accept what my f-i-l did as a choice that he had every right to make. Of course, it is a choice that we wish he didn't make, with all our hearts, but we respect that he had a right to not live in misery anymore.

You have all been in my thoughts, even more so in these past 16 days. The anger, guilt, sadness, I remember them so well. And it breaks my heart that you are experiencing them now, and to know that they will be with you all for some time.

Many, many positive vibes from me are being sent to you all. May Jan enjoy the beautiful light, and may his light be with you all, always.

nancyk4444 said...

Sharyn,

I am probably too tired to say what is in my heart right now - but your words here and now are more beautiful and inspiring than ever. I can so clearly hear how well you have come to truly KNOW yourself - and getting there is a gift.A gift that some never receive.
I will picture you in white on sunday, and know that in your heart, you are celebrating and honoring the person Jan was,your love for each other, the 3 incredible human beings you created together, and also, as hard as it may be - your understanding of the very personal choice he made....you are beautiful to even begin to be able to see it from his point of view....you honor him tremendously - another thing you are teaching your boys and another gift you are passing down to them.
From what I can tell, they cannot go wrong - having been raised by 2 parents filled with such light and love and heart.
I so hope to meet you this summer - to share a drink - a hug or just a look into each others eyes.
That will be MY gift, to myself.

Kevin Scalley said...

Sharyn,

I'm very glad I know you!

Kevin

suzibee said...

Beautifully, beautifully said as always, Sharyn. That you can see this from so many sides shows the depth of your insight into life's journey. Bless you all now and in the days ahead as you hold tightly to each other walking toward healing and calmer seas ahead.
You are all amazing and your grace touches us all.
With love and awe,
Suzibee

jff said...

True humanity is when people hold each other up, whether it is an accidental grouping or not. There are no "exes" as that is part of your history and who you became and embedded in your children. The present and the past join in strength, comfort and understanding...

TC said...

Sharyn,
You should be proud of who you are...you have been an inspiration to me and so many others! I am so sorry for your loss...my thoughts continue to be with you all.
You are in my prayers,
TC

p.s. Don't sweat all the negativity, there is already too much of that in this world.

carolynkramer said...

Sharyn,

You are a true inspiration to us all.

Let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the human spirit. -Kahlil Gibran

You have taught us all that there
is nothing greater than
true love and the human spirit: thank you. Your boys are blessed to have you as an example of strength and loyalty. I'm sure Jan is looking down on us all, knowing that great love and beauty would shelter you and your family due to his decision to swim with the seals..... See you on Sunday.

Dedicated to Jan :
I hope you are sailing on a dream
of a crystal clear ocean Jan.

Calypso
John Denver

To sail on a dream on a crystal clear ocean,
to ride on the crest of a wild raging storm
To work in the service of life and living,
in search of the answers of questions unknown
To be part of the movement and part of the growing,
part of beginning to understand,

Aye Calypso the places you've been to,
the things that you've shown us,
the stories you tell
Aye Calypso, I sing to your spirit,
the men who have served you so long and so well

Hi dee ay-ee ooo doo-dle oh
oo do do do do do doo-dle ay yee
doo-dle ay ee

Like the dolphin who guides you, you bring us beside you
To light up the darkness and show us the way
For though we are strangers in your silent world
To live on the land we must learn from the sea
To be true as the tide and free as a wind swell
Joyful and loving in letting it be

Aye Calypso the places you've been to,
the things that you've shown us,
the stories you tell
Aye Calypso, I sing to your spirit,
the men who have served you so long and so well

Hi dee ay-ee ooo doo-dle oh
oo do do do do do doo-dle ay yee
doo-dle ay ee

he dee Ay-ee
Hi dee oh ooo
hi dee ayee
hi dee oh ooo

With love ~ Carolyn K.

Amy said...

Sharyn, You amaze me. If only we all could have your strength and sensitivity and capacity for love and hope. Keep that outlook, and all will be well---not easily, not immediately, but in the long run, all will be well.

Amy from western MA

susan in portsmouth said...

Dearest Sharyn,
Your generosity of spirit is the thread that binds these pages-posts-moments together. I trust you when you say that you are a very private person, but I'm MOST grateful that you are able to step outside of that desire for privacy long enough to gift us with glimpses into your heart. I thank you from the bottom of mine.

I am certain that the wondrous support system you have created/fostered will carry you and your most beautiful boys forward...into the next GOOD thing that is due to come your way.

much love,
Susan

heather said...

Even through grief, your words are beautiful, moving, and filled with wisdom and grace.
I also lost someone I love dearly by his own hand, and at first I thought, How am I ever going to be able to accept something so absolutely unacceptable?
but I chose to respect his decision, and to understand that he was sort of in a different dimension, feeling and comprehending things in a way that was different from anything I could comprehend.
I believe that Jan's life was richer because you were in it...all of you wonderful inside and out gorgeous Lindsey/Potter clan & co.
I wish I could ease your sorrow, and I wish you peace.

Unknown said...

Sharyn, you once spoke of finding grace. You have, in great abundance and clarity. These lessons we have to learn as we wend our way through this life can be painful past the point of bearing, but learn them we do, and come out to the other side richer in wisdom, peace and understanding. I wish for you the lovely solace that comes with acceptance and forgiveness.
I think of all of you so often and am glad to hear that you have all come to an accommodation with this grief.....there is no getting over it, but coming to terms with it is important.
My best to you and yours.....
As always, with hope,
peg from PA

Anonymous said...

Sharyn, your positive yet sincere outlook is admirable. You're a beautiful, amazing woman with a family and friends to match. Keep supporting each other, and know that I'm keeping you in my thoughts.

Blessings,
JB in Sandwich
(Superman's mom)

amy in ct said...

sharyn
beautifullly written as usual.
you are an amazing woman and i truly love to read what you have to say. i hope that one day i will be the type of woman that you have become.
i will be there in spirit on sunday, maybe i will wear white as well, it sounds like a great idea.
please know that i am praying for ALL of you still. your lives have touched mine in ways i cant even explain.

peace to all this sunny thursday
amy in ct

blackbird said...

Your grace is inspiring.
You will be in my thoughts this weekend.

Julie said...

Sharyn,

It is so nice to know that you are all working as a team to get through this.
Good luck on Sunday, I hope it is a beautiful day for all of you.

Peace.

J

Lisa said...

Sharyn, very beautiful, you are amazing. You inspire me with your strength. Will be there in thought on Sunday.
Lisa in Pa.

deb in groton said...

Sharyn,
You continue to amaze me with your strength and willingness to see the good in all things. I lost a dear cousin last April to suicide at age 40 and I know the tumble of emotions you're all feeling.

I'm reminded of a line in It's a Wonderful Life - "Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?"

May the hole in your hearts be filled with the knowledge that Jan is at peace. Blessings to all - I'll be there in spirit on the 20th.

Deb

Claus said...

Sharyn,
Your insight and honesty are a constant in your writing; it is always so enlightening to read. You are full of foregiveness, love, and postive energy. We have no control over what people say about us in life, we enjoy the positive, and can sometimes learn from the negative. You know very well who are and what you are. We have all learned that people who talk negatively about others are mostly expressing fears and issues inside themselves, projecting onto others. Celebrate, as you have chosen to do, yourself, your life, your family, friends, and community. We never stop thinking about you, and you are all very present in our minds.
Love,
Claus

hannah said...

in indian culture it is traditional to wear crisp white in mourning as opposed to our somber black. i believe that they have it right, it is a much more beautiful sight.

Siggy said...

Sharon, I'm amazed to hear you sound so cogent and clear and strong. Bless you. When I went though this, it was months and months before I could form a coherent sentence, never mind find light and hope in the people and things around me. I'm proud of you, and happy for you that these good things are accessible to you alongside your powerful sadness. Thank you for the update on your beautiful, strong sons. We are all out here pulling for you and your family.
Sheila in CT

Anonymous said...

Sharyn, the purity of your soul continues to astonish me and inspire me. You are so beautiful inside and out. I aspire to reach the heights of your enlightenment in this life, I truly do. I will be on the cape this summer, and will be stopping by for visits and to help with whatever I can. I love love love love love you all.

C & E said...

Yeah Sharyn!!!
I think we all wanted to jump into the blog and erase the negative comments, we all worried that they would hurt you deeply. Damn! you are such a tough cookie:-)
Glad to hear that you are all together, supporting one another. It's been a challenging year & no doubt you will all emerge as wiser,stronger people.

Lesa said...

Ten years ago I lost a friend of mine who chose the same day Jan did to take his own life. He had been planning it for well over a year. Jan's death reeled me back to that time again re-igniting the ashes which I thought were finally cold. I miss my friend. He was a good man. And I continue to offer my support, love and prayers for continued healing to Sarah, the boys, Ken, and of course you Sharyn.
Namaste.

Jeff- in the Berkshires said...

Sharyn,
As I read your post I felt a swell as deep as a giant wave about to crest. I think if it were possible for a great big cyber hug you would all have it. So if you are into visualization picture an enormous prayer circle surrounding and hugging the entire family and those who were close to Jan. The victims of suicide are truly those left behind and you will all make your way as best you can, one step at time, one day at a time. Please know that you are all in our thoughts thoughout every day.

I too am sorry for the negative posts. They were mean in a way that was so disconnected from reality and the tone here that the person(s) seemed more malicious than thoughtfully hurtful. I know it is easy to say but the comments should just roll off as worthless ramblings.

I wish you all great peace and good thoughts. As the sun rises from the east on Monday and the winds blow at the beach please know that it carries good thoughts and messages of healing from all places and especially from us in the west. The beach will be filled with the spirits of hundreds of us that you can not see but we stand with you, beside you, we seek to lift you up like the updraft lifts a gull.

Jeff

Lisa K. said...

Dear Sharyn,

You are so lovely and strong, and your words are genuinely inspiring. In my family we say that more important than to "work hard" or to "play hard" is to "love hard," meaning to love with a relentlessness that refuses to be undone by any crisis. Clearly your family "loves hard" as well, and your willingness to do this so publicly is a gift. I'll be thinking of all of you on Sunday, and wishing you the strength to keep "loving hard" :). Lisa K.

Amy said...

This poem was distributed by email by my employer today as part of National Poetry Week. I think you will see why I thought to share it here as well.

My thoughts will be with you all on Sunday, hoping that "if pain visits...it has phantom feet," as the poet so beautifully put it.

Amy from western MA

Earliness at the Cape

Babette Deutsch



The color of silence is the oyster's color

Between the lustres of deep night and dawn.

Earth turns to absence; the sole shape's the sleeping

Light -- a mollusk of mist. Remote,

A sandspit hinges the valves of that soft monster

Yawning at Portugal. Alone wakeful, lanterns

Over a dark hull to eastward mark

The tough long pull, hidden, the killing

Work, hidden to feed a hidden world.

Muteness is all. Even the greed of the gulls

Annulled, the hush of color everywhere

The hush of motion. This is the neap of the blood,

Of memory, thought, desire; if pain visits

Such placelessness, it has phantom feet.

What's physical is lost here in ignorance

Of its own being. That solitary boat,

Out fishing, is a black stroke on vacancy.

Night, deaf and dumb as something from the deeps,

Having swallowed whole bright yesterday, replete

With radiance, is gray as abstinence now.

But in this nothingness, a knife point: pleasure

Comes pricking; the hour's pallor, too, is bladed

Like a shell, and as it opens, cuts.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Sharyn,
if you are being refined by fire, you are becoming a pheonix.

i love and am inspired, changed, charged, by your grace and perspective. you are right to make the choices you are making. thank you, for sharing your everything with us. perhaps you have no idea how your strength, your weakness, your love, your pain, is touching us. if so, know that it is overwhelmingly powerful.
you are blazing.
Anna H.

Clance said...

Sharyn, and familia..

It is good you are working through the many emotions, I am glad to hear you are not letting yourselves be totally numb to such an intense passing/occurance. You are all super fortunate to have one another, and know we all hold you deeply in our hearts.

I truly feel that with you all finding some peace (as tuff as it is) in Jan's decision, you allow him to be where he is now on his own terms, and in turn it makes it easier and more relaxed for him.

Loving you all..
Xoxo.. Clance and fam

becky said...

WOW!!!!!!(I think I'm a broken record here). My prayers continue for your family! YOur words continue to inspire me as a woman, mother and a person. I'll be thinking of you this weekend and I will find something to wear right along with you....

Anonymous said...

dearest sharyn and family...

oh sharyn, where do i begin? i remember so specically the first time visiting cape cod to see jen when she was living there, going to eric's pizza when he had it in his basement, seeing kai with his dreadies...playing in the sand...the ponds...so many memories... in all of my memories, of pirates and beaches, laughs and tears, you sharyn have been a solid light and foundation in my love and passion for wellfleet. i've always loved your smiles, personality, endless love for flowers and beauty...you are that beauty. with every flower that blooms...it has to break free from the bud (shoutout to spudly!!) in order to become a gorgeous natural creation of life. you are that beauty. you inspire so many...one's you've met, and one's who may have not know your story before last july 4th... stay strong...livin' out the beauty you have been blessed with..."loving hard" as lisa said...

keep on lovin' all of you...and i can't wait to see you this weekend, with or without words...simply to witness you again in person to show you how much i love you, your family, and the phenomenal community of wellfleet...

i endlessly love you all...
stay strong.
xoxo
keri

Wolfman said...

It's been hard to marshal my thoughts since I found out we lost Jan-an innocent call to Curt from my "other" life in St. Louis had me pulled off to the side of the road while I tried to come to grips with this. Losing my dad was sadly but majestically inevitable-he was 94. Losing my buddy Jan, however, is something else altogether, which I have trouble expressing. I can only say that I have been blessed to have been able to call him "friend," and to have, through him, been introduced to an incredibly strong, spiritual and most remarkable family. Please accept my humble condolences, and I am making every effort to be at the celebration on Sunday. God bless all of you.

Debbie said...

You truly the most admirable, awesome woman. It warms my heart to know that you, Sarah, Ken and the boys all have each other to lean on in these hard times. All of you are just so awe-inspiring to me. I feel honored to know you all, if only just through this blog. I feel so humble when I read your beautiful words. I will be at Jan's memorial service on the 20th, in spirit. I will certainly take time out that day to send love and peace his way, and to his loving family I continue to send healing light and SO MUCH love. I really do love all of you and admire all of you so much.
Debbie in NY

Nicole said...

I just learned an awful lot from that post. Pretty humbling. Many blessings to you, Sharyn, your boys, Ken, Sarah, and all Jan's family and friends.

cb said...

I've come to Wellfleet today after many weeks away. It felt peaceful and healing. Then I checked on the blog to see how Caleb was doing and was shocked and so sad to hear of Jan's death. What heartbreak. I knew Jan years ago and remember him with warmth. (He built strong things out of wood for us and for friends.) I'm so sorry for everyone close to him.

Carol B.

Jerry G said...

Sharyn, I can add nothing of value beyond what everyone has said above. I'm so glad that you all seem to be holding up well. Lana and I continue to think of you all every day.

Wishing you peace, as always, Jerry

ariana said...

Sharyn, Caleb, Kai, Max, Sarah, Jan's family, and community:

It's taken me a few weeks to try to even begin to compose my thoughts and to get to the place to even be able to write anything here. I have been thinking about you all every day and checking the blog to see how all of you are doing. You would think having experienced the same thing in my own life that I'd be able to offer you some great words of comfort. But that is exactly it, there are no words.
I just want to extend my arms out to you all, especially to Caleb, Kai, and Max. To let you guys know that it's okay to be weak right now. If you need anything don't hesitate to ask...I'll be back on the Cape in 4 weeks.

Embracing you all,
Ariana

NY/Wellfleet Mom said...

Sharyn:

There are many whispering voices. Listen only to those that make you feel loved, that make you feel stronger.

Sending love, light, peace, healing, and hope to you, your children, Sarah, Ken, Jan's Mom, and everyone who knew and loved Jan.

NY/Wellfleet Mom

Tracy in the Berkshires, Ma. said...

Sharyn,
Your Authenticity is where your beauty lies.
and to add to what Ann H said,
If you are being refined by fire.....you are becoming gold.

"I honor the Spirit in you which is also in me."

Tracy in the Berkshires, Ma. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
WebMommy said...

I will wear white with you as well, to send out more light into the world, to support you in your decision to find the goodness in every life, and to celebrate the living. What a powerful statement, to wear white!

Much love from Ohio, from a stranger and a kindred spirit. We are here with you.

Blessings,
charlotte

tim bob said...

I pitty the Negative Nellies from the other day. they clearly live someplace a lot lamer than Wellfleet.

Sharyn said...

Sharyn, what a beautiful message. Yes, we have grown side by side through the years here in Wellfleet; I have watched you and you have watched me and we have reflected that growth to one another; I am so honored to be walking the Path with you and our collective "family".
Love, Anne

Roberta said...

Sharyn -Unfortunately, we did not know Jan, but it will be an honor to support you and your family and friends on Sunday at the beach. I will wear white with you as a sign of peace and healing.
Roberta in Wellfleet

Unknown said...

With grace and dignity, you amaze me...I continue to pray for you all to find some peace in the moment you can hold on to. The world is a much better place for having you in it, you teach us all so much about life, and love and healing.

Peace to you all tonight-
Audrey

Unknown said...

Bless you Sharyn - your words are so beautiful and heartwarming. Really. I have to believe that Jan will love seeing you dressed in white as opposed to the usual mourning colors - what a great idea. You really are a wonder. You WILL all make it through this. Just take care to treat each other and yourselves very gently EVERY day - you will be alright; and, we will all do what we can to hold you up whenever you need it.

All love, Mom in CT

Maryann in NY said...

Our hearts will be with you all on Saturday.
love, the Stows

Jeremiah F. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jeremiah F. said...

Jan

Watching the water trickle out
Mud flats, gold streaks with stunning red.

We looked at the horizon certain that you would be there, that you were not caused unspeakable pain.

As I looked around you were at the Wicked Oyster with your Sunday New York Times smile, your arm was holding Sarah in a warm loving way.
Your laughter rang clear above other voices and I knew you were present in our memories.

Peggy F.

arlene said...

Sharon,
Our inner lives often go unnoticed, even to ourselves. You have taught us to stop and pay attention to our own and to others' inner lives through your words, your authenticity. For that I am grateful. And we will stand with you and the extended family on Sunday when inner and outer thoughts run will likely together.
love, arlene

Mommato2 said...

What a beautiful post from a truly amazing lady.

Your courage and spirit are an inspiration for all of us.

I am sorry for you that some people were unkind...I admire you so much for how you responded to them in this post, and wonder if I could ever have shown so much grace.

A huge hug to you and your family from a neighbor in Canada.

Anonymous said...

Dearest Ones in Wellfleet,

TIME is such a healer...if we look back to the readings of last year on this blog one often "hears" panic, desperation, a grasping at any little glimmer of hope, fear, sadness, all very appropriate for the circumstances that occurred.
But, slowly, and surly, the tone, and spirit of the writings lightened. There was mention of great hope, peace, forgiveness, healing, and the power of love and support from friends, family and perfect strangers. There were setbacks, but really only "momentary" blips on the screen on life...Caleb was healing, Sharyn no longer saw only the hurt and pain, the boy who would never return, the pain in the relationship of "ex's". But then, slowly the voice of grace, gratitude,and healing became a theme, looking to the future with a hopeful eye, not the "what if's".

To have the opportunity to be part of and support this extraordinary metamorphasis in a person, family, cyber community is life altering. The lessons learned here go far beyond the Lindsay/Potter tribe, and have touched us all in ways that words cannot describe. We have all shared in a process of collective conscience that has changed the shape of our thinking, and has allowed us to think in a way, less constrained than before. The possibilities are endless.....

To Sharyn, Caleb, Max, Kai, Sarah, Ken, Jan's mom, thank you for allowing us to share with you our deepest thoughts, strengths, our weaknesses, desires and great hope for a better tomorrow. I am humbled by this process, and have, and am learning so much. For this I am gratful. Thank you all from the bottom on my heart.

Tomorrow folks will gather, not just in Wellfleet, but throughout this planet, to honor and celebrate the rich life of a father, brother, son, partner, former husband, friend, community member. There will be sadness for the loss, but there will also be great joy and celebration and love for a life lived and shared with so many people. For this I am grateful...

Until tomorrow...

In Love and Gratitude,

Melinda

Jeff- in the Berkshires said...

Well said Melinda.

Tomorrow as you gather on the beach and together afterwards to celebrate Jan's life I will be there in spirit. Out here in the hills I will light a candle and say a prayer, I will send warm and bright thoughts and carry you all in my heart. Just as I do each sunrise as I look to the east.

A special peace to Sarah, Ken, Jan's Mom, Max, Kai, Caleb, Sharyn and all who were close to Jan.

Peace to all who will gather or will be there in spirit, safe journey to all who will be traveling.

Jeff

Claus said...

Sharyn,
I was on my way to Wellfleet, bag packed etc... looking so forward to seeing all of you, and a few dear old friends from the summers of my "youth"...but I am sorry to say I had to cancel the journey at the last moment...both Sophia and Sacha are sick, Kirsten will be away, so family duty calls...As much as the gathering is celebrate a life that ended in a tragic way, I was so lookind forward to seeing you all, and being part of the postive energy and great support group of Wellfleet and these pages.
May the sun shine on all of you, have a wonderful day.
Love,
Claus

Alycia said...

Sharyn, Caleb, Max, Kai, Sarah, Ken, Vivvi and all of Jan's loved ones,

I carry Jan and all of you in my heart today although I will not be able to be with you at the service.

Peace and love to all of you.

Alycia

Jackie said...

Isend this love letter to all the many people who have loved and been loved by Jan. Please be washed in sunlight and peace and know that the gravitational pull that controls the ocean, also pulls our love to all of you today and always.
Jackie

Clance said...

Thinking in you all today,
may we be united, near, and far for our mutual love & respect for Jan Potter...
xoxo.. sending prayers, Clance.

anonymous said...

When someone dies, a cloud turns into an angel and flies up to tell god to put another flower on a pillow. A bird gives the message back to the world and sings a silent prayer that makes the rain cry. People disappear, but they never really go away. The spirits up there put the sun to bed, wake up the grass, and spin the earth in dizzy circles. Sometimes you can see them dancing in a cloud during the daytime when they're supposed to be sleeping. They paint the rainbows and also the sunsets and make waves splash and tug at the tide. They toss shooting stars and listen to wishes. And when they sing wind songs, they whisper to us "Don't miss me too much. The view is nice, and I'm doing fine."

Thinking of you all today. I'm with you in spirit.

anonymous said...

I found this soon after I lost a cousin in a car accident.

Gone from our sight,
but never our memories-
Gone from our touch,
but never our hearts.

MaudeLowell said...

Potter/Lindsay family -

I've been a summer resident of North Eastham my entire life and have been following your story since last July. I appreciate tremendously how much you share of yourself and your family on this blog. Sharon, many of your posts have helped me through the mental battle that I fight. Thank you.
Today is my first post.
I know that Jan's memorial is occuring as I write this and I am thinking of all of you.
I tell the story of your amazing family to someone new almost every week and I know that I will be talking about all of you for the rest of my life.
Jan will be forever remembered by those who knew him and by those, like me, who know of him. The latter, Sharon, is because of you. Your commitment to this amazing blog. It has turned out, in a way that is both sad and wonderful, that through your writing, Jan's life and legacy is known by legions of families around the globe. I can think of no words to describe the power of that gift.
I'm honored to be part of your community. Thank you again for your voice.
Please look into writing a book.

Kim Harris said...

I wish I could be there with you for support and to celebrate Jans life. He will truly be missed. I am so glad to hear your strength in this past post. You are and inspiration.
My thoughts and spirt are with you all.
Much Love,
Kim Harris

amy in ct said...

thinking of all of you today
wishing i could be there too

amy in ct

susan in portsmouth said...

Just returned from a walk on our beautiful beach with Hannah. The sun is bright here today, the breeze strong and sweet and the sand was warm against our tender winter feet. We carried you all with us for the hour or so that we walked - as we do all the time anyway - and said silent prayers for Jan and all whose lives he touched. The sea answered with a steady, reassuring song....We felt you.

I hope the day was filled with love and grace and good memories for all of you.

You inhabit my heart,
Susan

susan in portsmouth said...

Post Script:

The special at the market today?
Wellfleet Oysters. We will be indulging tonight and thinking of all of you with every incredible bite.

More love,
S.

kolleen said...

The sea was steady, reassuring and comforting as it came through the speakers at Jan's service today. Stories and honesty were welcomed by all who gathered. The boys paddled out into the water as
goodbyes went with them through gentle waves. Time and love to you all.......
Kolleen

Unknown said...

I spent today planting: trees, shrubs & perennials. A cool wind blew through the trees, and the giant old maple out front has tiny leaves sprouting from buds. As I dug my hands into the sun-warmed soil, I was thinking of how powerful the forces of nature can be....my small hands closed around clumps of earth making room for new life to grow....all around there are signs of rebirth; the long cold winter is over. My thoughts this day turned to all of you on the beach in Wellfleet, celebrating the life of one of your own, hearts singing with joy and sorrow, souls joined together in peace. My heart was there with you, my tears watered freshly planted flowers, and my soul felt the gladness of a world renewed. I am with you all in spirit, more than ever before I feel the connection.
As always, with hope,
peg from PA

Unknown said...

Dear Sharyn, Caleb, Kai, Max, Jan's family, and extended Potter/Wellfleet family~ just letting you know that I am still here in Boston thinking of you always. How incredibly far you guys have come, I marvel at your strength, courage, beauty, and pioneerness (I'm making that a word if it is not already--it is ideal for you all). You inspire me every second of every day. I wish I could be there in Wellfleet to say this to you in person, but for now, this wonderful blog will suffice. Sending infinite loads of fleet love and hugs your way~molly

georgia said...

We awoke to an unseasonably cold morning here on Puget Sound. I ventured out for a run at about 9am (noon in Wellfleet). Despite the cold and newly fallen snow in the Olympic Mountains, the world was brimming with life renewed...flowers blooming, leaves emerging from their buds. As I rounded the last bend to return home, a grey-whiskered seal popped his head out of the water. As he and I regarded each other, my heart filled with hope for all of you.

hatfield said...

your strength and spirit amaze me. you are all in my thoughts... love and peace.

CapeSummerGirl said...

When I was a little girl, my mother told me time and again, "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."
As an adult I do my best to heed her words, more profound than I gave them credit for being when I was young. I try to put that request into action each day, in my relationships with others, in my writing, and in general.
I can't believe that in your darkest hours, people would have the audacity to be unkind. It only shows how dark their hearts must be. Perhaps they lash out because they want so much to possess even a fragment of your family's spirit and determination, and to have even a moment of community support as you have had.
Sharyn, we DO support you - ALL of you - because in this world there is not enough light, not enough radiance. You, your family, Sarah and the whole Wellfleet community shine so brightly. It is a beacon of hope to all others struggling with their own burdens.
We learn from your examples of strength, courage, determination and Love.
Knowing that you soldier on no matter what befalls you gives us the courage to conquer our own woes.
I visit this blog often not only because I have come to truly, deeply care for your family, but also because every time I do I am struck by the powerful Love that resonates in each post, in each response. My heart fills and I feel a sense of peace at knowing that Love still exists in our crazy world. It's right there in Wellfleet.

mo said...

L'Homme et la mer

Homme libre, toujours tu chériras la mer!
La mer est ton miroir; tu contemples ton âme
Dans le déroulement infini de sa lame,
Et ton esprit n'est pas un gouffre moins amer.

Tu te plais à plonger au sein de ton image;
Tu l'embrasses des yeux et des bras, et ton coeur
Se distrait quelquefois de sa propre rumeur
Au bruit de cette plainte indomptable et sauvage.

Vous êtes tous les deux ténébreux et discrets:
Homme, nul n'a sondé le fond de tes abîmes;
Ô mer, nul ne connaît tes richesses intimes,
Tant vous êtes jaloux de garder vos secrets!

Et cependant voilà des siècles innombrables
Que vous vous combattez sans pitié ni remords,
Tellement vous aimez le carnage et la mort,
Ô lutteurs éternels, ô frères implacables!

— Charles Baudelaire

Man and the Sea

Free man, you will always cherish the sea!
The sea is your mirror; you contemplate your soul
In the infinite unrolling of its billows;
Your mind is an abyss that is no less bitter.

You like to plunge into the bosom of your image;
You embrace it with eyes and arms, and your heart
Is distracted at times from its own clamoring
By the sound of this plaint, wild and untamable.

Both of you are gloomy and reticent:
Man, no one has sounded the depths of your being;
O Sea, no person knows your most hidden riches,
So zealously do you keep your secrets!

Yet for countless ages you have fought each other
Without pity, without remorse,
So fiercely do you love carnage and death,
O eternal fighters, implacable brothers!

The Flowers of Evil

Jan, you may have left us but not our debate! May your spirit live on. And it will! Because everytimes we cook a one pot meal we will remember you. So long my friend.
mo
http://www2.snapfish.com/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=220555137/a=128774450_128774450/t_=128774450

Please visit the link above to see some wonderful photos of Jan, the Galdstens', & friends.


mo

penny on st.john said...

I was thinking of you all yesterday and thought peaceful and happy thoughts.

It must have been a beautiful sight-----people dressed all in white on the beach. Swans and egrits.

May Jan's spirit live in us all.

Penny on St.John

Jerry G said...

Jan's memory was truly honored yesterday. The day itself was so spectacular, it was almost surreal. Bright sunshine, blue sea, and so many people coming together in tribute. Through people's words and stories I came to appreciate that I, too, had lost something in not having had the privilege of knowing this man.

Wishing you peace and comfort...
Jerry

c. miner said...

My mom described the memorial in great detail, and I was glad to share it from the other ocean. You are strong and beautiful. Be well
Casey Miner

mo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mo said...

http://www2.snapfish.com/
thumbnailshare/
AlbumID=220555137/
a=128774450_128774450/t_=128774450

Sorry my friends! The link was chopped up due to the blogg limitations. Above I divided the link
into four threads to avoid that.

Man and the Sea

mo