On the fourth of July, 2007 Caleb Potter was involved in a skateboarding accident. He suffered serious injuries and continues to need all of our positive thoughts and prayers. This blog is to serve as a space for updates on Caleb's journey of recovery.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
None
I can tell you now, there were times I thought I was in hell before ...I wasn't even close.
Sharyn, Please just put one foot in front of the other . . . take things hour by hour and think of what you need to do to protect and take care of yourself and your boys. Sending love from Newton, MA. First time posting but have been following all along . . .
I can't even imagine what you are going through now, and the injustice of it boggles my mind. Please just try to hang on. Do it one minute at a time if you have to, and know that you are so needed by your boys. Strangers you'll never meet are out there, pulling for you, and wishing you well every day.
oh my people, how can this be. non being is freeing, let's let him go. breathing is being, let's let him fly. slipping onto sandy earth at the brink of storm tossed sea, a dive, a flight, as long and cool and refreshing as an oasis, light, peaceful, hush.
please hold on sharon, be the rock we know you are! hold those beautiful boyz close to your heart...you're in my thoughts and wishing you power to get thru this...peace be with you
Sharyn, Just the basics-eat, sleep, hug your boys and loved ones. We care, we love you, we're not going anywhere. I wish we could carry you for a while. Take care of yourself and ask for help if you need it. Sending you fierce wishes for peace and strength. Jackie
Sharyn- I am so sorry- I can't imagine your pain- but I imagine it is double duty pain- yours and the pain you feel for the boys. Know so many out here are keeping you in our thoughts and sending strength, calm and peace your way.
Sharyn and boys - you don't know me but I have followed your story. I used to be a Wellfleet summer girl - many sumers ago. Magoo at a surfer beach, Wendy.. I am sending my love and thoughts and whatever I have. All the best to you. Breathe deeply. All my love - another Lisa B
Just wanted to say that i am sending all my love to you ....i feel so far away and i just want to be close.. The love that surrounds you is very strong! Im thinking of all of you and sending my compassion.
I am so very sorry for your loss. Please find strength in each other and please know that you have a wide and wonderful circle of cyber friends who are wrapping you in love and acceptance.
I am a long time lurker who is raising a beautiful little girl who lost her Mom to suicide. Although I can't begin to know what you are going through, I do understand the deep pain of loss. Please let us know if there is anything at all we can do to help. We are all here for you..
Sharyn, I don't know what to say, except that I'm sorry. I've been following your story for the past 9 months. I don't know why I never commented before, but I figured it was time to start. While I don't know exactly what you're going through, our stories and our sons' stories are a bit similar. It's clear that you and your boys have many people who love and support you, but if you need one more person to listen, I'm here. Take care of yourself, and know that I'm praying for you.
You are not alone. We are here and will be here for the duration. You have a permanent place in the heart of my little family...you are precious and fragile and courageous and fierce and we love all of those things about you and more. Please ask for help if you need it. Please love your boys and pass our love to them, too.
You have an army of people pulling for you and your boys... Life hasn't been fair to you. You have a right to feel all your emotions. You will be better than the wonderful person you already are to pull through this all... I'm pulling for the boys and you...
Sharyn and boys - - - I feel your hurt, your grief. PLEASE, all of you, rage - grieve - scream - pound your fists on the walls - do whatever you need to do to let it all out! We love you, we are all here for you, we will hold sacred space for you to do whatever you need to let your anger/rage/grief out. I continue to send SO MUCH light and love your way. You are already in a beautiful space known as Wellfleet, with a tight, close, beautiful community. Just breathe, breathe, breathe, take one minute at a time and KNOW that so many of us are out here pulling for all of you. Your OneEyed friend in NY xo
After something so tragic, it is difficult to see beyond what has happened and look ahead. You will again see the positive and beauty of life. It may be a dark time, but there is a light, and it is always shining for you, your boys and Sarah. Take each day as it comes...Know that you are all loved.
Sharyn, I love you. We all really, truly love you. I can't begin to imagine the hell you are feeling/living... We know you are strong, it is OK not to be strong once in a while - be yourself, I know you will pull through it somehow. Every time it looked really bleak for Caleb, somehow you all emerged victorious. You are constantly on my mind. Big, big, long, hug... Love, Claus
Sharyn, You and your boys have been constantly in my thoughts. Losing someone leaves such a hole in the soul; losing Jan this way must feel like having your heart ripped out. We're all still out here, trying to give you space to grieve, yet wanting to be right with you at the same time. I have no wisdom to share. I hurt with you, knowing that you have to feel the pain before you can feel better. But I SO wish you didn't have to experience it. Be well, take care, be blessed with peace...it will come. with love, janet
I felt sad and unhelpful last week after I heard the news. If only if only there was something more I, we, could do, I thought. A colleague noticed my sadness and asked why I looked down. I started giving a brief summary of the boy I knew and the mountains his family was/is traveling. A sentence or two into my story, and my friend said, "Wait is this CALEB you are talking about? You went to high school with CALEB?!" She didn't even know of the blog, but she knew she'd been praying for your family all along as well. There's nothing I can send along except positive thoughts and love. And I'm sure there are so many blessings coming your way, whether you know it or not. Stay there...
Sharyn...we love you....you know THAT and we're gonna keep reminding you....every day....the hugs are truly getting deeper....throughout the circles -- that are YOUR circles....this quote came to mind a few days ago...it just now "found me" in print form...YOU know THIS STUFF...inside and out....and we all are doing our best to get through...I post it here for the rest of us....and the ones on the "edges"...that are just finding out....whew!! this is BIG.....
I found this on the Kitchen wall of Christine...mother of Menelik...she passed on due to Breast Cancer in 1998?? when soleil was only just beginning...it is her legacy to me....bless you Christine...Bless you sharyn...the boys and yr family everywhere.....and this amazing circle....be strong...we love you...light!ly...ch/dad
***********************************
ATTITUDE
by: Charles Swindoll
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes. ***********************************
Thanks Ch. I've started a word doc titled, "things I've learned from Caleb's blog that I need to save for possible future use." It's a long file name, but after I'll I've learned here, I need to be sure I can pass some of this beautiful words on when they are needed. Be well. Know you are loved.
Boys, live your lives to the fullest. You are amazing people with an incredible mother. We want you to stay strong and in control of your future. You steer down your own path so please make the ride a beautiful one. You control your future, so please make sure it's full of love and happiness. We love you tremendously and know you are great people in this world.
Prayer circle..."This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine!"
I just don't know what to say, except you are loved, your boys are loved, Jan is loved, everyone hurting is so loved. We will just keep sending it your way. Wishing you the privacy to heal in your own way in your own time, and the enveloping warmth of a community that loves you all. So many hold you in their hearts and prayers for strength.
Dear God - one first thinks - how much can these dear sweet people take? I was away from my computer for four days and just checked in and nearly fell over in my chair out of shock and a feeling of what this can possibly be like for you all. Stay strong (somehow), I know you can do it. I cannot think of what life lessons are supposed to come from this on top of all else you are currently dealing with; but - there must be something?!? I love you and will keep you all very close in my heart and prayers. God bless.
-Sweet Sharyn, sweet, sweet boys, the grace is there. It is here- it is in our hearts and they burn for you. Please take care and let this love comfort you in these impossible times. Love You.
I can only imagine the grief, sorrow, and hurt you and your boys are feeling right now...... please give yourselves plenty of safe space with family and friends to discharge all of the emotions you are feeling...you don't have to be strong right now...that will come later, just self sooth yourself and comfort those boys.......
I can only imagine the grief, sorrow, and hurt you and your boys are feeling right now...... please give yourselves plenty of safe space with family and friends to discharge all of the emotions you are feeling...you don't have to be strong right now...that will come later, just self sooth yourself and comfort those boys.......
Second by second, minute by minute. hour by our, day by day, that is how you move through life right now. Allow yourself your feelings. Know that we are all there with you to help you bear this hurt. Know that we love you all and have our hearts and souls wrapped around your sweet family in a loving embrace. Know that hell won't last forever. Know that we are there with you. We are..... As always, with hope, and love, peg from PA
No words. Just love. Each day, in my small way, I breathe in a little of your pain and breathe out peace. It's all I know to do.
If there are others out there who wish they could do something, and feel strong and centered enough, this practice is called tonglen. Instructions can be found on the web, search on tonglen or Pema Chodron.
You know there are no words to truly bring the comfort you need right now. I know that - but I also know that silence can feel like nobody is there - so I write to you,using words that cannot help. So many people, SO many, are wanting to help you and heal you all....that's what you need to know. You know what your boys need right now - more than ever before - their Mumsie....that's who you are - the best Mumsie in the world - just hold them tight and pass through the stages together. You will all come out the other side - together, however scarred - but together. Your family is a strong and loving one - such special people, with hearts and spirits that your friendships reflect. You CAN do it - you have, and you can, and you will. Let love hold you up -you've got a lot of it behind you.
Time heals. Just get through each moment, each hour, each day. This pain that has seized your haeart, taken over your mind, will ease. You will get through. Scar tissue is tough. It will begin to form over your heart and you will go on. Let the love be your salve. Breathe.
The cream always rises to the top. The sun always shines after a storm. Family is stronger than any force. Time heals.
all of these sayings are familiar because they are TRUE.
Sharyn, One thing I know from experience is that if you do not let yourself be really DOWN, I mean the kinda crying that sounds like a wounded animal, You can end up carrying it around with yourself for far too long. You have permission to rage. . .we will hold this space for you.
Know that we all love you guys, please take care of yourself, and when you have to, lean on the boys a little. They will be more than willing to help you, as you help them. Sending many prayers your way. Lisa in Pa.
Please care for one another in the way you ALWAYS have.. there is a light surrounding you, call out for help, and know there are millions praying 4 you all.
Caring for others pain is exhausting, mentally and physically, but please be aware that you NEED to be taken care of, too. So is releasing the sadness and the anger. Strong 24/7 isn't always a necessary option. It took me a while to realize that and to allow it to happen. Picture all of us holding you(meaning all those who are mourning) up in the water so you can stop treading and truly "feel."
Please know, all who have been affected by this tragedy, that the thoughts and prayers and good wishes of so many, known and unknown, are with you and behind you and beside you. In the darkest of darkest nights we will be that pin point of light on the horizon to dawn; that ever present lighthouse through the storm. The great spirit has you all wrapped in a cloak of morning midst and will stay with you through this journey through hell and into the sunrise of a better day.
You and your boys have been in our thoughts continuously in the past week. You've given Carrie and I some much in the past through your generosity and kindness, and I wish so much that there was some way that we could match that and offer you something to help right now. We love you very much and our hearts are with you and the boys.
Sharyn/Boys/Sarah- we are all praying for you and with you at this very difficult time. Hang in there please. there are alot of people to see you through this.
Before healing, there is pain. Bottomless, all encompassing, overwhelming, and raw. I sit with you. Not judging. Not touching. Not talking. But simply bearing witness to what is for today. Lesa
"Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each." Henry David Thoreau
No need to hide what's going on Your story's all over town But it's all right if everything is wrong Just come on down to the crying ground
Dark skies, feels like rain Why, look at all those thunder clouds I'll bet that dam is just about to break Better come on down to the crying ground
Come on down to the crying ground Let your tears be holy water Rolling down your face, ain't no disgrace Come on down to the crying ground
I can see you want to steal away Where you will never be found But sometimes everybody feels this way So come on down to the cying ground
Come on down to the crying ground Let your tears be holy water Rolling down your face, ain't no disgrace Come on down to the crying ground
No need to tell me what you're going through Cause sister, I've been right where you are now You know exactly what you need to do So come on down, down, down, down...
We are talking holy water Rolling down your face, ain't no disgrace Come on down to the crying ground
Sharyn, Caleb, Kai and Max, we are praying for you and sending you love, and a good cry...
Does anyone know how Sarah is doing? I know this is Sharyn's blog but someone must be able to share that information to those of us who know both wonderful women...we worry about Sarah, too. Thank you.
its ok not to be strong, not to be a rock. no matter what you will come out on the other side of this, by being kind to yourself the ones around you will feel that
I wish I could ease your pain...there are no words. We are still here for you. Know that so many thoughts and prayers come to you and your family from friends and strangers, near and far. May they encircle you, support you, and protect you. You and the boys will persevere.
this is from Joyas Voladoras by Brian Doyle; "The biggest heart in the world is inside the blue whale. It weighs more than seven tons. It's as big as a room. It is a room, with four chambers. A child could walk around in it, head high, bending only to step through the valves. ...Of the largest mammal who ever lived we know nearly nothing. But we know this: the animals with the largest heart in the world generally travel in pairs, and their penetrating moaning cries, their piercing yearning tongue, can be heard underwater for miles and miles." Jan had a heart huger than that. It was the joy of my life to swim through life's ocean with him.
Sharyn, Just know that we are here and whenever you need to have help we're here. Prayer and community will hold you up if you fall. Love to you and all the boys. Fran and Donna
Go on and spend some time at the Crying Ground, (what a beautiful poem)....and so true. All these good thoughts and wishes and desires to send you love and support flowing out from folks....feel them - it's so powerful! It's true - being Mumsie to your 3 does not have to mean you need to be a rock - you just need to be. They know you are there - you know they are there- and no matter how each one of you deals individually with the pain,shock and grief - you will all still be together - and that sun does shine once you get to the other side. Changed, you will be - but on the other side, stronger, wiser and different - and once again, believe it or not - able to smile.I've been there - not believing a smile could or would ever form on my face again.....just keep going - you'll get there - together.
Silence. Thats about all i can get out after i read your post. Im horrible with tragedies, crying, emotions. I wish i could just tell you something to make it all alright for each and everyone of you, but i got nothing. NOthing in my life can compare. Know that i would call you, if i didnt realize already that your phone is probably ringing off the hook, or the answering machine is full. I dont want you to have to talk to me if you dont feel like it and i think by calling i would. Know that if i didnt feel this way, i would. From one fleetian to another my heart is with you, know this post is me calling you, telling you all this, tears pouring from my eyes, love pouring from my heart. I wish i had words.
Sharyn, I am so sorry for all you are going through. I know you have the strength in you to be strong for your boys, they need you now as much as you need them. God Bless you and your family. You are all in my heart and prayers.
We'd like to understand the depth of Sharyn's admitted devastation and loss. We've known everyone for a couple of decades and know that Jan had moved on, found love in Sarah. Are the Potter men spending time with her in the wake of this horrible pain, confusion, anger, grief?
I have had this ache in my heart for you all since i found out. I am so sorry for your loss and pain. I wish i knew what to say...just know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. To my sweet jennie, sharyn, kai and max be strong..breath deep and take one day at a time. God bless and big hugs to all of you.
I am so sorry for your pain and am keeping all of you in my heart. As is often the case, the words of Jeff-in the Berkshires resonate and are my thoughts as well. It isn't necessary to be strong, but please try to take care good care of yourself, and of each other, as much as possible; listen only to the positive voices. Mom in CT
Love, light and strength to you and your boys. You are a beautiful person and a stunning woman. This is a very tough time for you. But I know you will get through it. And I just have this gut feeling that there is something really great ahead for you and your sons. Don't give up and don't loose sight of the light.
There are many of us out here who have read, prayed and rarely commented, choosing to keep you quietly in our prayers. Know that we are here, lifting you up and asking that you are given strength. We are trying to absorb some of your pain so that you will not carry this heavy load alone. Thank you for your poignant, honest words through all of this. The writing will help you heal, even when it hurts to do it.
There are many of us out here who have read, prayed and rarely commented, choosing to keep you quietly in our prayers. Know that we are here, lifting you up and asking that you are given strength. We are trying to absorb some of your pain so that you will not carry this heavy load alone. Thank you for your poignant, honest words through all of this. The writing will help you heal, even when it hurts to do it.
We all walk with you, Sharyn Kai Max and Caleb. Your best friends you see everyday or someone you partied with years ago. The best support is that which catches you falling when you thought no hands were beneath you. We are all beneath you walking together.
I know that there is nothing one can say to make anything better. Any words that I write will not alter the reality of the situation. I just like to say that I miss you, Caleb, Kai, Max, Sharyn, and of course Juan. I miss the days when all was simple and there was nothing to worry about except weeds in garden beds and the never ending mung at the beach. I miss that high pitched heckle that both you and Caleb share. I cannot wait to hear Leb Heckle again, music to my ears, music to my heart. Much Love and Respect Shannon The Wellfleet Canuck
Jan was the third close neighbor to kill himself in my neighborhood in the 22 years I have lived here. They were all manly men a few years older than me, family men and hard workers. I hope that the younger generation of Wellfleet men are, as they seem, more in touch with their feelings and more likely to seek help when they need it. The irony of this situation is that Wellfleet is a vaction Mecca for Psychiatrists but it can be hard for local people to get help when thay need it.
I'v never writen anything in here before but I want you to know that since I got know about Caleb's accident I was thinking and praying for all of you and was checking the blog regularly how is the progress going. Today I feel I have to write, it's to much. Althought am far away in Poland right now I am with you with all my heart, as well as John is although he is in Mexico. Be strong as you can be because you have wonderful boys who need your power and love. Am sending you love, energy and everything the best to YOU.
Sharyn & Family, This is my first post. We live in Wellfleet and fly the Jolly Roger.
This is really too much for anyone to bear...but way down deep inside and past the sadness is a tiny light. You can sense it even now and it means you will persevere...at first because you have to and later with time because you want to. There will be more light to come. Peace to you and love. Roberta in Wellfleet.
Please feel free to add your comments to the blog. All you have to do is click on the number of comments at the bottom of one of the postings. Then write your comment in the box provided on the right side of the screen. Thank you to all of you who have been commenting so far; we're creating quite the community on here! Be well...
A BIG Thank You
In this season of giving thanks and celebrating family togetherness, I wish to extend a warm thank you to everyone who has been involved in a myriad of ways with my son, Caleb Potter, and his recovery. On July 4, he was involved in a skateboarding accident in our little hometown of Wellfleet on Cape Cod, that caused him serious injuries. He came home from Spaulding Rehab in Boston just before Thanksgiving. Through the blog we started: http://calebpotter.blogspot.com/ the Wellfleet community of support stretched far and wide across the country, and in fact, throughout parts of the world, with many people offering prayers and words of wisdom. We could not have come so far without this legion of support from all of you, in Wellfleet and beyond. We are sincerely grateful.
Sharyn L. Lindsay and family
DONATIONS
THE CALEB POTTER BENEFIT FUND
Donations may be made in person at any branch of Cape Cod Five Cents Savings Bank or mailed to the bank at P.O. Box 697, Wellfleet, MA 02667.
Thank you SO MUCH for your contributions.
With love, from all of Caleb's friends and family
Official Information
If you have questions about calebpotter.blogspot.com, email Sky at: novembersky.freysscole@gmail.com
For Sending Cards etc.
Caleb Potter c/o Sharyn Lindsay 45 Sapokonish Way Wellfleet, MA 02667
To make sure that the blog continues to be fresh and quick we've cut down the number of posts shown on this main page. However, all the posts are still there. Just scroll down to the bottom and click on "Older Posts" to read the rest!
104 comments:
take care of yourself.
Sharyn, Please just put one foot in front of the other . . . take things hour by hour and think of what you need to do to protect and take care of yourself and your boys. Sending love from Newton, MA. First time posting but have been following all along . . .
I can't even imagine what you are going through now, and the injustice of it boggles my mind. Please just try to hang on. Do it one minute at a time if you have to, and know that you are so needed by your boys. Strangers you'll never meet are out there, pulling for you, and wishing you well every day.
oh my people, how can this be.
non being is freeing, let's let him go.
breathing is being, let's
let him fly.
slipping onto sandy earth at the brink of storm tossed sea, a dive, a flight, as long and cool and refreshing as an oasis, light, peaceful, hush.
sass
our thoughts are always with you, and our hearts are on the Cape. Take care. Love to you and the boys.
Take care of you.
Sharyn,
We're here. We love you. We love you so much. We're with you forever.
Katie, Mike
please hold on sharon, be the rock we know you are! hold those beautiful boyz close to your heart...you're in my thoughts and wishing you power to get thru this...peace be with you
None of us knows how it feels, none of us knows where you are, all of us know we hold you in our arms, stand with you, will never let you go.
jack
Sharyn, Just the basics-eat, sleep, hug your boys and loved ones. We care, we love you, we're not going anywhere. I wish we could carry you for a while. Take care of yourself and ask for help if you need it. Sending you fierce wishes for peace and strength.
Jackie
Sharyn-
I am so sorry- I can't imagine your pain- but I imagine it is double duty pain- yours and the pain you feel for the boys. Know so many out here are keeping you in our thoughts and sending strength, calm and peace your way.
Laura in CT
Sharyn and boys - you don't know me but I have followed your story. I used to be a Wellfleet summer girl - many sumers ago. Magoo at a surfer beach, Wendy.. I am sending my love and thoughts and whatever I have. All the best to you. Breathe deeply. All my love - another Lisa B
Just wanted to say that i am sending all my love to you ....i feel so far away and i just want to be close.. The love that surrounds you is very strong! Im thinking of all of you and sending my compassion.
much love
brandon barney barnacle B
I am so very sorry for your loss. Please find strength in each other and please know that you have a wide and wonderful circle of cyber friends who are wrapping you in love and acceptance.
I am a long time lurker who is raising a beautiful little girl who lost her Mom to suicide. Although I can't begin to know what you are going through, I do understand the deep pain of loss. Please let us know if there is anything at all we can do to help.
We are all here for you..
Sharyn,
I don't know what to say, except that I'm sorry.
I've been following your story for the past 9 months. I don't know why I never commented before, but I figured it was time to start. While I don't know exactly what you're going through, our stories and our sons' stories are a bit similar.
It's clear that you and your boys have many people who love and support you, but if you need one more person to listen, I'm here. Take care of yourself, and know that I'm praying for you.
Be kind to yourself.
Lovely Sharyn -
You are not alone. We are here and will be here for the duration. You have a permanent place in the heart of my little family...you are precious and fragile and courageous and fierce and we love all of those things about you and more. Please ask for help if you need it. Please love your boys and pass our love to them, too.
Always,
Susan
Good that you wrote -- grief longs to be heard.
Give it its due, in your voice.
We are listening - closely -- all the time.
rcl
Just be good to yourself, Sharyn. You are the strongest woman I know. We all love you so much.
Sharyn,
You have an army of people pulling for you and your boys...
Life hasn't been fair to you.
You have a right to feel all your emotions.
You will be better than the wonderful person you already are to pull through this all...
I'm pulling for the boys and you...
Kevin
Sharyn and boys - - - I feel your hurt, your grief. PLEASE, all of you, rage - grieve - scream - pound your fists on the walls - do whatever you need to do to let it all out! We love you, we are all here for you, we will hold sacred space for you to do whatever you need to let your anger/rage/grief out. I continue to send SO MUCH light and love your way. You are already in a beautiful space known as Wellfleet, with a tight, close, beautiful community. Just breathe, breathe, breathe, take one minute at a time and KNOW that so many of us are out here pulling for all of you.
Your OneEyed friend in NY xo
Sharyn,
So sorry to hear the news, Courtney and I pray for you and your family to remain strong. We're thinking about you in VT.
-Sean
Oh Honey,
Big BIG LONG HUG. and feeling for you and yours in no language known other than an aching heart and welling eyes...
Maryann S.
Sharyn & boys-
After something so tragic, it is difficult to see beyond what has happened and look ahead. You will again see the positive and beauty of life. It may be a dark time, but there is a light, and it is always shining for you, your boys and Sarah. Take each day as it comes...Know that you are all loved.
Jess & Justin
Here are a couple of links that be may be of help to you and to your family
http://www.suicidology.org/displaycommon.cfm?an=1&subarticlenbr=79
http://healingafterloss.org/halo/sos.html
Wishing you peace and love,
laura
Sharyn:
Thank you for the post. Take one step at a time and take care of yourself and your boys.
Peggy from Western MA
Sharyn,
I love you. We all really, truly love you. I can't begin to imagine the hell you are feeling/living...
We know you are strong, it is OK not to be strong once in a while - be yourself, I know you will pull through it somehow. Every time it looked really bleak for Caleb, somehow you all emerged victorious.
You are constantly on my mind.
Big, big, long, hug...
Love,
Claus
Sharyn,
You and your boys have been constantly in my thoughts. Losing someone leaves such a hole in the soul; losing Jan this way must feel like having your heart ripped out.
We're all still out here, trying to give you space to grieve, yet wanting to be right with you at the same time. I have no wisdom to share. I hurt with you, knowing that you have to feel the pain before you can feel better.
But I SO wish you didn't have to experience it. Be well, take care, be blessed with peace...it will come.
with love,
janet
Please include Jan's beloved Sarah in your thoughts and prayers, too.
I felt sad and unhelpful last week after I heard the news. If only if only there was something more I, we, could do, I thought. A colleague noticed my sadness and asked why I looked down. I started giving a brief summary of the boy I knew and the mountains his family was/is traveling. A sentence or two into my story, and my friend said, "Wait is this CALEB you are talking about? You went to high school with CALEB?!" She didn't even know of the blog, but she knew she'd been praying for your family all along as well. There's nothing I can send along except positive thoughts and love. And I'm sure there are so many blessings coming your way, whether you know it or not. Stay there...
Sharyn...we love you....you know THAT and we're gonna keep reminding you....every day....the hugs are truly getting deeper....throughout the circles -- that are YOUR circles....this quote came to mind a few days ago...it just now "found me" in print form...YOU know THIS STUFF...inside and out....and we all are doing our best to get through...I post it here for the rest of us....and the ones on the "edges"...that are just finding out....whew!! this is BIG.....
I found this on the Kitchen wall of Christine...mother of Menelik...she passed on due to Breast Cancer in 1998?? when soleil was only just beginning...it is her legacy to me....bless you Christine...Bless you sharyn...the boys and yr family everywhere.....and this amazing circle....be strong...we love you...light!ly...ch/dad
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ATTITUDE
by: Charles Swindoll
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes.
***********************************
breathe deep...we CAN!!
**********************************
Thanks Ch. I've started a word doc titled, "things I've learned from Caleb's blog that I need to save for possible future use." It's a long file name, but after I'll I've learned here, I need to be sure I can pass some of this beautiful words on when they are needed. Be well. Know you are loved.
Boys, live your lives to the fullest. You are amazing people with an incredible mother. We want you to stay strong and in control of your future. You steer down your own path so please make the ride a beautiful one. You control your future, so please make sure it's full of love and happiness. We love you tremendously and know you are great people in this world.
Prayer circle..."This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine!"
ss mom
I just don't know what to say, except you are loved, your boys are loved, Jan is loved, everyone hurting is so loved. We will just keep sending it your way. Wishing you the privacy to heal in your own way in your own time, and the enveloping warmth of a community that loves you all. So many hold you in their hearts and prayers for strength.
Dear God - one first thinks - how much can these dear sweet people take? I was away from my computer for four days and just checked in and nearly fell over in my chair out of shock and a feeling of what this can possibly be like for you all. Stay strong (somehow), I know you can do it. I cannot think of what life lessons are supposed to come from this on top of all else you are currently dealing with; but - there must be something?!? I love you and will keep you all very close in my heart and prayers. God bless.
Mom in CT
oh, sharyn.
i wish i knew what to say.
i love you.
Pale sunlight,
pale the wall.
Love moves away.
The light changes.
I need more grace
than I thought.
-Sweet Sharyn, sweet, sweet boys, the grace is there. It is here- it is in our hearts and they burn for you. Please take care and let this love comfort you in these impossible times. Love You.
impossible moments in nearly impossible times - moving at their own glacial speed.
impossible moments in nearly impossible times; there's no hurrying grief.
impossible moments in nearly impossible times; they must be endured.
imposssible moments in nearly impossible times; they move eventually toward release.
I can only imagine the grief, sorrow, and hurt you and your boys are feeling right now......
please give yourselves plenty of safe space with family and friends to discharge all of the emotions you are feeling...you don't have to be strong right now...that will come later, just self sooth yourself and comfort those boys.......
I can only imagine the grief, sorrow, and hurt you and your boys are feeling right now......
please give yourselves plenty of safe space with family and friends to discharge all of the emotions you are feeling...you don't have to be strong right now...that will come later, just self sooth yourself and comfort those boys.......
Second by second, minute by minute. hour by our, day by day, that is how you move through life right now. Allow yourself your feelings. Know
that we are all there with you to help you bear this hurt. Know that we love you all and have our hearts and souls wrapped around your sweet family in a loving embrace. Know that hell won't last forever. Know that we are there with you. We are.....
As always, with hope, and love,
peg from PA
No words. Just love. Each day, in my small way, I breathe in a little of your pain and breathe out peace. It's all I know to do.
If there are others out there who wish they could do something, and feel strong and centered enough, this practice is called tonglen. Instructions can be found on the web, search on tonglen or Pema Chodron.
Prayers from Ohio for Jan, you, the boys and Sarah...
God bless you all.
sharyn,
breathe deep, dont forget to eat, know that we are ALL with you.
sending huge hugs and peace and love to you
amy in ct
Just prayers to ease your pain and grief. My heart is with you. Words just fail me. Feel the love, compassion, and hope that all are sending your way.
Amy from western MA
Words fail me. Why has our little community had to endure the loss of more than our share of vibrancy and beacons of light over recent years? Why?
Sharyn,
You know there are no words to truly bring the comfort you need right now. I know that - but I also know that silence can feel like nobody is there - so I write to you,using words that cannot help.
So many people, SO many, are wanting to help you and heal you all....that's what you need to know.
You know what your boys need right now - more than ever before - their Mumsie....that's who you are - the best Mumsie in the world - just hold them tight and pass through the stages together. You will all come out the other side - together, however scarred - but together. Your family is a strong and loving one - such special people, with hearts and spirits that your friendships reflect. You CAN do it - you have, and you can, and you will.
Let love hold you up -you've got a lot of it behind you.
Love,light and healing.....
Nancy in NY
My prayers are with you, as always. I have faith that prayer is STRONG!
- I'm praying for your strength.
Time heals. Just get through each moment, each hour, each day. This pain that has seized your haeart, taken over your mind, will ease. You will get through. Scar tissue is tough. It will begin to form over your heart and you will go on. Let the love be your salve. Breathe.
Saryn,
I am sending prayers to you all. Know you are in our hearts.
Sharyn and Boys, Jennie and Sara,
The cream always rises to the top. The sun always shines after a storm.
Family is stronger than any force.
Time heals.
all of these sayings are familiar because they are TRUE.
Sharyn, One thing I know from experience is that if you do not let yourself be really DOWN, I mean the kinda crying that sounds like a wounded animal, You can end up carrying it around with yourself for far too long. You have permission to rage. . .we will hold this space for you.
xoxoxox,settie
Know that we all love you guys, please take care of yourself, and when you have to, lean on the boys a little. They will be more than willing to help you, as you help them. Sending many prayers your way.
Lisa in Pa.
it's a long long mile to gilead...
Sharyn, and Potter Men,
Please care for one another in the way you ALWAYS have.. there is a light surrounding you, call out for help, and know there are millions praying 4 you all.
I love you all soooo much..
Xo.. Clance
i do not post often -- i send strength hope and peace to you all
Caring for others pain is exhausting, mentally and physically, but please be aware that you NEED to be taken care of, too. So is releasing the sadness and the anger. Strong 24/7 isn't always a necessary option. It took me a while to realize that and to allow it to happen. Picture all of us holding you(meaning all those who are mourning) up in the water so you can stop treading and truly "feel."
Please know, all who have been affected by this tragedy, that the thoughts and prayers and good wishes of so many, known and unknown, are with you and behind you and beside you. In the darkest of darkest nights we will be that pin point of light on the horizon to dawn; that ever present lighthouse through the storm. The great spirit has you all wrapped in a cloak of morning midst and will stay with you through this journey through hell and into the sunrise of a better day.
Just don't get too comfortable in hell, I promise you won't always be there! HANG ON!
Dear Sharyn,
You and your boys have been in our thoughts continuously in the past week. You've given Carrie and I some much in the past through your generosity and kindness, and I wish so much that there was some way that we could match that and offer you something to help right now. We love you very much and our hearts are with you and the boys.
Neil and Carrie
Sharyn/Boys/Sarah- we are all praying for you and with you at this very difficult time. Hang in there please. there are alot of people to see you through this.
Before healing, there is pain. Bottomless, all encompassing, overwhelming, and raw.
I sit with you. Not judging. Not touching. Not talking. But simply bearing witness to what is for today.
Lesa
"Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each."
Henry David Thoreau
Crying Ground
by Pierce Pettis
No need to hide what's going on
Your story's all over town
But it's all right if everything is wrong
Just come on down to the crying ground
Dark skies, feels like rain
Why, look at all those thunder clouds
I'll bet that dam is just about to break
Better come on down to the crying ground
Come on down to the crying ground
Let your tears be holy water
Rolling down your face, ain't no disgrace
Come on down to the crying ground
I can see you want to steal away
Where you will never be found
But sometimes everybody feels this way
So come on down to the cying ground
Come on down to the crying ground
Let your tears be holy water
Rolling down your face, ain't no disgrace
Come on down to the crying ground
No need to tell me what you're going through
Cause sister, I've been right where you are now
You know exactly what you need to do
So come on down, down, down, down...
We are talking holy water
Rolling down your face, ain't no disgrace
Come on down to the crying ground
Sharyn, Caleb, Kai and Max, we are praying for you and sending you love, and a good cry...
Peace-
Audrey
Does anyone know how Sarah is doing? I know this is Sharyn's blog but someone must be able to share that information to those of us who know both wonderful women...we worry about Sarah, too. Thank you.
its ok not to be strong, not to be a rock. no matter what you will come out on the other side of this, by being kind to yourself the ones around you will feel that
Sharyn,
I wish I could ease your pain...there are no words. We are still here for you. Know that so many thoughts and prayers come to you and your family from friends and strangers, near and far. May they encircle you, support you, and protect you. You and the boys will persevere.
With love and healing energy,
DD
this is from Joyas Voladoras by Brian Doyle;
"The biggest heart in the world is inside the blue whale. It weighs more than seven tons. It's as big as a room. It is a room, with four chambers. A child could walk around in it, head high, bending only to step through the valves. ...Of the largest mammal who ever lived we know nearly nothing. But we know this: the animals with the largest heart in the world generally travel in pairs, and their penetrating moaning cries, their piercing yearning tongue, can be heard underwater for miles and miles." Jan had a heart huger than that. It was the joy of my life to swim through life's ocean with him.
Sarah G
Sharyn,
Just know that we are here and whenever you need to have help
we're here. Prayer and community will hold you up if you fall.
Love to you and all the boys.
Fran and Donna
We are sending love and peace your way, now and always.
xo Catherine
Sharyn,
Go on and spend some time at the Crying Ground, (what a beautiful poem)....and so true.
All these good thoughts and wishes and desires to send you love and support flowing out from folks....feel them - it's so powerful!
It's true - being Mumsie to your 3 does not have to mean you need to be a rock - you just need to be.
They know you are there - you know they are there- and no matter how each one of you deals individually with the pain,shock and grief - you will all still be together - and that sun does shine once you get to the other side.
Changed, you will be - but on the other side, stronger, wiser and different - and once again, believe it or not - able to smile.I've been there - not believing a smile could or would ever form on my face again.....just keep going - you'll get there - together.
Nancy in NY
our hearts are aching for you in amherst. sending thoughts, prayers, love etc etc etc...
breathe deep, let it wash over you because it too will pass
ahh sharyn,
i'm feeling your pain, sweetheart! take care of yourself and your boys, everything else can wait!
Sharyn, please ask for help from the angels you will surely be answered. I will continue to pray for you all. love always grace.
sharyn,
one day i had a conversation with "strength & weakness"...
"strength" as always was huge and magnificent in the fore front, a pillar...
"weakness" was in the background,with tears flowing so heavy that i thought i might drown...
i asked "weakness" why it was crying so hard, and it said...
"when you let it out you make peace and you will be stronger than any "strength"...
take good care of you... maybe some gardening therapy is well due...
peace, thoughts, love, tears....
Silence. Thats about all i can get out after i read your post. Im horrible with tragedies, crying, emotions. I wish i could just tell you something to make it all alright for each and everyone of you, but i got nothing. NOthing in my life can compare. Know that i would call you, if i didnt realize already that your phone is probably ringing off the hook, or the answering machine is full. I dont want you to have to talk to me if you dont feel like it and i think by calling i would. Know that if i didnt feel this way, i would. From one fleetian to another my heart is with you, know this post is me calling you, telling you all this, tears pouring from my eyes, love pouring from my heart.
I wish i had words.
-Arozana
Prayers and love for all.
Denise
Sarah is surrounded by love - I can assure you all...
Just wanted to send some love to Sarah, and Jennie too..
Thinking in you both, and sending hope along to heal.
Xo..Clance
Sharyn,
I am so sorry for all you are going through. I know you have the strength in you to be strong for your boys, they need you now as much as you need them. God Bless you and your family. You are all in my heart and prayers.
you have given me so much. i wish i could give something back to you. sending positive energy. lizzie in ct
Hang in there Sharyn. We're all thinking of you and keeping you in our thoughts and prayers from all over.
Lauren in CT
We'd like to understand the depth of Sharyn's admitted devastation and loss. We've known everyone for a couple of decades and know that Jan had moved on, found love in Sarah. Are the Potter men spending time with her in the wake of this horrible pain, confusion, anger, grief?
My heart goes out to you and your family.
my prayers for you and all who are connected.
I have had this ache in my heart for you all since i found out. I am so sorry for your loss and pain. I wish i knew what to say...just know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. To my sweet jennie, sharyn, kai and max be strong..breath deep and take one day at a time. God bless and big hugs to all of you.
-Rachael
I am so sorry for your pain and am keeping all of you in my heart. As is often the case, the words of Jeff-in the Berkshires resonate and are my thoughts as well. It isn't necessary to be strong, but please try to take care good care of yourself, and of each other, as much as possible; listen only to the positive voices.
Mom in CT
Sharon
Love, light and strength to you and your boys.
You are a beautiful person and a stunning woman. This is a very tough time for you. But I know you will get through it. And I just have this gut feeling that there is something really great ahead for you and your sons. Don't give up and don't loose sight of the light.
Patty
There are many of us out here who have read, prayed and rarely commented, choosing to keep you quietly in our prayers. Know that we are here, lifting you up and asking that you are given strength. We are trying to absorb some of your pain so that you will not carry this heavy load alone.
Thank you for your poignant, honest words through all of this. The writing will help you heal, even when it hurts to do it.
There are many of us out here who have read, prayed and rarely commented, choosing to keep you quietly in our prayers. Know that we are here, lifting you up and asking that you are given strength. We are trying to absorb some of your pain so that you will not carry this heavy load alone.
Thank you for your poignant, honest words through all of this. The writing will help you heal, even when it hurts to do it.
Dear Sweet Kai,
My heart is heavy and I wish I could wrap my arms around you and take your sorrow and pain away...
We are so sad for you and your family, you have all been through more than is required of any of us.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you always...we are here for you.
love,
Dianne and David
Sending love, without any solutions.
Winston Churchill once famously said: "If you're going through hell, keep going."
Merritt
Sharyn, Caleb, Kai and Max,
I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry, for you and for him. How can this be?I hated to have to believe the terrible news.
Miriam
Sharyn, Caleb, Kai, Max... My thoughts are with all of you. There is nothing else to say.
Wishing you some kind of peace...
Jerry G
Praying for peace for all of your family and friends...
Jill in Ohio
We all walk with you, Sharyn Kai Max and Caleb. Your best friends you see everyday or someone you partied with years ago. The best support is that which catches you falling when you thought no hands were beneath you. We are all beneath you walking together.
-Truro Love
Sharyn,
This won't really help, but Winston Churchill once said, "when you are going through hell, keep going." Our prayers are with you.
Sharon
I know that there is nothing one can say to make anything better. Any words that I write will not alter the reality of the situation. I just like to say that I miss you, Caleb, Kai, Max, Sharyn, and of course Juan. I miss the days when all was simple and there was nothing to worry about except weeds in garden beds and the never ending mung at the beach. I miss that high pitched heckle that both you and Caleb share. I cannot wait to hear Leb Heckle again, music to my ears, music to my heart.
Much Love and Respect
Shannon
The Wellfleet Canuck
Jan was the third close neighbor to kill himself in my neighborhood in the 22 years I have lived here. They were all manly men a few years older than me, family men and hard workers. I hope that the younger generation of Wellfleet men are, as they seem, more in touch with their feelings and more likely to seek help when they need it. The irony of this situation is that Wellfleet is a vaction Mecca for Psychiatrists but it can be hard for local people to get help when thay need it.
Thinking of you all...sending light and love your way. Whatever you feel is what you feel. With great respect and waves of peace to comfort you..
Dearest Sharyn;
I'v never writen anything in here before but I want you to know that since I got know about Caleb's accident I was thinking and praying for all of you and was checking the blog regularly how is the progress going.
Today I feel I have to write, it's to much. Althought am far away in Poland right now I am with you with all my heart, as well as John is although he is in Mexico. Be strong as you can be because you have wonderful boys who need your power and love.
Am sending you love, energy and everything the best to YOU.
Anna J-C
Sharyn & Family,
This is my first post. We live in Wellfleet and fly the Jolly Roger.
This is really too much for anyone to bear...but way down deep inside and past the sadness is a tiny light. You can sense it even now and it means you will persevere...at first because you have to and later with time because you want to. There will be more light to come. Peace to you and love. Roberta in Wellfleet.
Love-Love-Love
xoxoxo
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