If I am to believe , as I do- that everything happens for a reason then I must follow through with this logic...
This is a letter of forgivness. Somehow I must convey to you that I knew in the deep recesses of my mind that something catastrophic was about to happen. I would not have confessed this to you prior to Caleb's accident because it seemed too strange even to me , but I now know with certanty that in the wee hours before, I felt a deepening sense of foreboding doom that was easier to deny than it was to accept. Life builds up to this point....
But back to the forgivness part.....
From day one, Kai was my child and Max was Jan's..but Caleb belonged to us both ..and this is where the story begins.
I have held very tightly inside for about 15 years.... anger at Jan for leaving us.......
We were the beautiful family- golden haired, healthy boys; dark, clever, handsome dad; flaxen haired mother ..the perfect couple, the perfect family...or so it seemed...
It was not meant to be.. Jan wanted another life and as much as I tried to guilt him into being with us, he was not having it. He was braver than I.. he wanted to choose for himself what his life was to be----
I admire what it must have taken for him to decide that he would follow his own path. In the aftermath it was always Caleb who tried to re-unite us- not necessarily as a couple .... but as two people who would look at one another and understand that to be true to yourself is the greatest gift . That is who Caleb was and still is and what he demonstrates earnestly.
Be yourself - you only hurt people more if you don't follow your path..in the long run the damage is greater. I need to forgive.
I sit next to Caleb and realize all the gifts bestowed- so many......... but one that stands out more than others...
"In a dark time, the eye begins to see". m
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On the fourth of July, 2007 Caleb Potter was involved in a skateboarding accident.
He suffered serious injuries and continues to need all of our positive thoughts and prayers.
This blog is to serve as a space for updates on Caleb's journey of recovery.
He suffered serious injuries and continues to need all of our positive thoughts and prayers.
This blog is to serve as a space for updates on Caleb's journey of recovery.
Adding Comments
Please feel free to add your comments to the blog. All you have to do is click on the number of comments at the bottom of one of the postings. Then write your comment in the box provided on the right side of the screen. Thank you to all of you who have been commenting so far; we're creating quite the community on here! Be well...
A BIG Thank You
In this season of giving thanks and celebrating family togetherness, I wish to extend a warm thank you to everyone who has been involved in a myriad of ways with my son, Caleb Potter, and his recovery. On July 4, he was involved in a skateboarding accident in our little hometown of Wellfleet on Cape Cod, that caused him serious injuries. He came home from Spaulding Rehab in Boston just before Thanksgiving. Through the blog we started:
http://calebpotter.blogspot.com/
the Wellfleet community of support stretched far and wide across the country, and in fact, throughout parts of the world, with many people offering prayers and words of wisdom. We could not have come so far without this legion of support from all of you, in Wellfleet and beyond. We are sincerely grateful.
Sharyn L. Lindsay and family
http://calebpotter.blogspot
the Wellfleet community of support stretched far and wide across the country, and in fact, throughout parts of the world, with many people offering prayers and words of wisdom. We could not have come so far without this legion of support from all of you, in Wellfleet and beyond. We are sincerely grateful.
Sharyn L. Lindsay and family
DONATIONS
THE CALEB POTTER
BENEFIT FUND
Donations may be made in person at any branch of Cape Cod Five Cents Savings Bank or mailed to the bank at P.O. Box 697, Wellfleet, MA 02667.
Thank you SO MUCH
for your contributions.
With love,
from all of Caleb's friends and family
BENEFIT FUND
Donations may be made in person at any branch of Cape Cod Five Cents Savings Bank or mailed to the bank at P.O. Box 697, Wellfleet, MA 02667.
Thank you SO MUCH
for your contributions.
With love,
from all of Caleb's friends and family
Official Information
If you have questions about calebpotter.blogspot.com,
email Sky at:
novembersky.freysscole@gmail.com
email Sky at:
novembersky.freysscole@gmail.com
For Sending Cards etc.
Caleb Potter
c/o Sharyn Lindsay
45 Sapokonish Way
Wellfleet, MA
02667
(please be respectful)
c/o Sharyn Lindsay
45 Sapokonish Way
Wellfleet, MA
02667
(please be respectful)
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43 comments:
These are very powerful words. I hear them. I understand them. In my own way I live them. But you alone have the courage to speak them. Your bravery, your honesty is showing me a way. My love and gratitude to you.
i dont know what to say except that you are a brave woman to search your soul and realize the things that you have realized in this journey. thank you for sharing your words and your feelings with all of us. your truth rings in my ears...
prayers to you and your family
amy in ct
Thank you for that! So true! Wow! Good job seeing the truth in a struggle. That is always so hard to do when you are in it and easier when things pass. Or have been years later. You are such a wise lady and again always an inspiration! My heart bleeds a little, missing all you. Your family is so beautiful, tight and inspirational. The bond of a family that, I thought, could never get deeper has deepend. The wisdom that lay upon me has grown. You are becoming a saint. So clever with your worlds, able to move someone's soul so profoundly. Thank you Sharyn for bbeing such an amazing women! I love you and your entire family from the bottom of my heart! Keep up the good work. As I travel I wear the black band around my wrist so where ever I am, in the water on the land, I am thinking about all you and sending my love!
Normally I sign my name on this blog, but today I can't. I am living this right now Sharyn. Although I don't have the children, I am fighting to keep my husband with me and not letting him leave. I too thought we were the perfect couple, the couple that everyone envied.
He is trying, he is working on us, but in the long run I do know that it won't work out. I'm not ready to let go...
Peace to you, and thank you for your strength.
Dear, dear Sharyn
Self examination is always hard and something we don't want to do;
but you,whom I never met and love like a sister, may be being too hard on yourself. Who is not without guilt, certainly not I. You have and still do love fiercely and you have gifted the world with three caring, loving young men. What could be greater than that? You touch my soul daily with your honesty and dignity. You make me realize my blessings while learning to manage the hurts and disappointments that sum up what this crazy ride of life gives us. And as far as the perfect family, what, who is that? Yours looks pretty good to me. You continue to love loudly and without reservation and I will too! (what more can we do?) Jackie
Okay, Sharyn, I've read the blog every day since July, many times each day, and have often marveled at your way with words. But I have to admit that sometimes I thought you were too good to be true, too capable, too beautiful, too loved by so, so many, too easy to go with the flow or the drama or the fear, too much the person I wanted to be but wasn't able to be...but today - this post that you have written - words that seem to have flown from your fingers to the screen without over-thinking or second-guessing - whew!! they grab me, they shake me, they speak truth to me. Thank you so much. And to those who hesitate forgiving, read this post over and over and over. You'll see it's the way. I wish I could meet you, sit with a glass or a cuppa and share our lives that have traveled parallel paths for a few decades, just a few miles apart but worlds apart nonetheless. You are a truly authentic human being.
Caleb, hang in and hang on!
Life takes interesting paths.
I'm still learning from you.
YOU HAVE NOOOOOOO IDEA HOW YOU ARE TALKING TO ME!You have NOOO idea how your BRAVE story has sent me on a journey involving my 3 boys that I have been too frightened to begin for YEARS! Marriage, Children, Divorce, Visitation, Boys, Men, Puberty, School, Growing up, Being a single Mom, Anger.... I have been battling my fears HEAVILY the last few days especially and your words today have again given me the boost that I really needed for today. Thank you.
Miss Sharyn,
You are so humanly wonderful. We are all learning right along with you and your precious familia.. Gracias for reminding me that accepting truths will only do you good, and being you is best. Believe me or not, I think you have done a really great job at being you. I know some things are not always as they seem, but you have always been down to have Sharyn time, or be whacky when others were too serious, or afraid... that is just where Caleb gets his crazed humor that we ALL appreciate.
Screw it, nobody is perfect, and that is what makes us learn, and keeps us entertained.
Thanks again.. be well, bless..Xo..Miss Clance
P.S.
Love ya Caleb!!
Xo..McClance
Sharyn, like the others, your truthfulness and insightfulness are inspiational. I recall very well talking to you in the aftermath of the split with Jan...and what it is to be a spouse and parent-I was neither at the time-but am both now. You told me years ago that they day you have children you stop living for yourself. This is so true. You also told me children do better with a mom and a dad than a single parent no matter how doubly good the single parent can be... and I tell people that all the time. You have taught me so much for so many years. Thanks. Love Claus
As her brave heart trembles having confessed its humble sin, angels softly guide her declaring forgiveness, from within.
Embracing you softly.
Lesa
Your words have reached us all today more than ever, each meaning something a little different when we consider our own lives.
Being true to myself at the moment means loneliness and rejection from someone I have always loved, but to be true to myself I can no longer be a doormat for her to tread on. I am ANGRY too and try to let it go, but am deeply hurt by the indifference she shows.
There are no perfect families, some just choose not to talk about it.
Thank you Sharyn, you are brave and perfect for showing us that you are not perfect.
Ali Manchester Uk
Your capacity for love has astounded me since the beginning of your journey, Sharyn. You are facing your demons with courage, and embracing them with open arms, which is harder by far than denying them.
Someday I would like to be a woman like you, strong, loving, and beautiful, with a diamond purity of spirit which shines and glitters through dark nights.
Good luck, most sincerely, brave Queen Sharyn.
love,
Mia
Dear Sharyn...mumsie....Cedar and Sky’s “other” mom.......
I feel the waves of recognition....surprise...and of ....so many levels of human-ness...that ...we have shared...and continue to share....
At some level .....we -our families-have travelled Parallel paths....on a slightly...different time frames.....different ....difficult...paths..as we became dear-ly dis-connected with what....and "who"... had “gone before”.....jan and sharyn...chuck and anne....and we..all....carried on......
when my/our paths....our families.... were dividing/splitting/re-arranging...... you gave me counsel....advice...a shoulder to cry on...some helpful ideas.....shared life lessons that you had already learned for yourself......and wished me good luck...and said that NO ONE -else-has the right to suggest THE RIGHT WAY for “this” to be done..... and I heard you.....I heard you.....sometimes, it HURT...but/and.... I heard you!
Our children,today, are strong...and frail.....and loving....very human...and sometime seemingly Super-human......as needs be.....they,each of them.... truly LIVE.....
the circle allows us/them to do “what needs to be done”!! They have learned from each of us....how to cope...how to deal...how to keep on keeping on.....AND how to celebrate LIFE throughout.....however HARD or lonely or endless it may have seemed......or even still sometimes seems....today!!
They have learned to LOVE in oh so many ways... from us...and sometimes in spite of us --as parents.....friends.....amd as fellow travellers along this Path.....our kids are good kids...WE are good people......and we all learn a little more each day....
....and you, Sharyn/Mumsie.... continue to speak YOUR truth.....and that seems incredibly IMPORTANT : for EACH of us....to Speak our truth.....always striving for compassion...and hopefully ...kindness....and indeed...when it comes along.....forgiveness!
Perhaps...”my understanding”....of “WHY....us?”.....”why....me?”.....
”why...now?”.....came a little easier to ME because of my discussions with you...waaaay back ...when.....
I DO know that I am grateful to have had you as a dear friend and confidant....and to know that Anne had that ....too!
I am so grateful that we share our town....our kids....our growth...still...through it all.....
Thank you....it sounds....trite....but it’s TRUE.....thank you ....”for SHARING “....and caring......and forgiving ....Yourself, too!
We are all.... I am truly...the Better for it.......
smiles toward the past .....AND the future.....light!ly.....ch/dad
Sharyn, Again you have left me speechless, breathless. Your honesty, your pain, and your insights are hard to absorb without losing my breath. Some of us need to forgive, others need to be forgiven. And we all have to forgive ourselves for all the anger, mistakes, and bad choices we made. So while you are forgiving others, remember also to forgive yourself.
Amy from western MA
to get things off of your chest...our chests...is a powerful and moving and humbling thing. being authentic...real...i too have been living through a mask..drinking too much, dealing with hidden depression i don't share...being super-teacher and super-organizer and super-student...living OUTside of myself rather than in...your words help me to remember i get to take off that mask and be authentic. yup, gotta stop that kind of drinking...it sure ain't helping..yup gotta take time out for me and reconnect to nature and my inner nature, and yup..gotta ask for the kind of love and help i need to work through my stress and my depression. thanks for helping me today. you have no idea how timely this is. love to you and the boys. lisa
I am so struck by what all of us are sharing. I feel like each of us is tending a garden within, one planted with our powers, our gifts, our shortcomings. Sharyn, master gardener, teaches again how to weed what chokes us, how to nurture what is fragile, how to cultivate what is strong. Ch/dad, adventurer and poet, shares again how to keep the soil most rich for the roots taking hold. Lisa B., gifted teacher, uproots what needs to be moved into the light, even if what she moves is hard to lift. Me, I'm just drinking in the water you all bring today, grateful for how my own garden grows a bit stronger because you've stopped by. Peace to all, Lisa K.
Sharyn, your words really hit home. Forgiveness can - is - one of the most difficult things we ever need to do. And forgiving others is one thing... forgiving oneself is the toughest of all. Our family knows this all too well. I suspect (and reading the posts above would seem to confirm) that there's something in this that is universal.
May we all find some peace, at least for a little while.
Jerry G
Just to say-- I can't think of many things that are 'more adventurous' than motherhood...
Sharyn,
You’re singing to the Choir with me! In a similar situation we share that you are somewhat familiar with of me, I know where you come from. Whoever said, "Forgive and forget" probably didn't have kids or a spouse for that matter! Hard to do and I still struggle with it in my life's pains. That you throw your emotions out on to the World Wide Web is courageous...I think venting is a necessary relief we are all feeling here being the 21st person to comment here.
Thanks for being you!
Kevin
"being true to oneself"--one of the FOUR AGREEMENTS---living your life and not anyone else's and who said that was going to be the easy path. I think that living someone else's life is living a lie and can't bring joy to that person or people in his/her life. I have done it and it felt good at the time but not looking back. And children really pick up on that as I think they are the most intuitive of all creatures. My own children have guided me in ways they cannot imagine and I have learned to listen to them very carefully. When they were teenagers their dad and I separated, and they said they were "happy now"--"why?", I asked(this was after, of course, some meltdowns on their part)--because their parents were happier and therefore, they got the better end of the deal. Sharyn, how brave of you to bare those pent up feelings. Forgiving yourself is the biggest gift of all....you can't deny your feelings, even in retrospect. That is how you felt at the time and why not? I hope that you are breathing easier and maybe had a good cry, too....the feelings leave easier that way.
I guess shoveling snow would be a good stress relief, too.
And blessings to all the bloggers who shared themselves with others who have become a close circle of friends during the last 7 months.
I have to say, this is better than church. You have struck a chord in me as well Ms. Sharyn. Forgiveness is so hard. So hard to do. But so necessary. I am guilty of not forgiving as well. I've known for too long that it is something I need to do. But knowing it and doing it are so far apart.
I think we go about our busy daily lives almost robotically, that we forget what needs to be done to heal our souls. And it is often through reflection that we take the time to figure it all out.
Claus wrote: You told me years ago that they day you have children you stop living for yourself. This is so true.
I'd like to second that one. I don't know why we should, or just plain do, stop living for ourselves, but we do.
From here, it seems as though you put yourself on hold, raised your children and now it is your time. You have clearly done a fine, fine job of raising your three boys.
Continue on this powerful journey. We are all with you. All learning from you and growing with you too. Thank you for your honesty. For your grace. For your life lessons. Thank you for sharing. You have helped so many, and maybe someday even me.
Godspeed, Ms. Sharyn.
God Bless you and your family.
"in a dark time, the eye begins to see"......ahhh, this resonates. You've touched a tender spot for many, and in recognizing and releasing your anger, you've broken the scab open for others. Your absolute dedication to sharing and baring your soul on this journey is the glue binding us all together.........once again, thank you for your gift of eloquence and openess.
The thing about forgiveness is once you accomplish it, it is so freeing. Carrying around hurt and resentment only hurts you, not the person you think has wronged you. I know what you mean about that feeling of dread, I also have felt it.I think we are picking up on the fact the something is out of whack without being able to put our finger on exactly what is about to go wrong. Anyway, I too am working on forgiving my ex but the closer I get to letting my anger and resentment go the better it feels. Good luck with that! Love, Susanna
What started as a prayer for one has turned into a lifeline of hope and inspiration for us all. Sharyn, your words never cease to touch a cord and your honesty inspires us all to be better people. Thank you for your willingness to reveal your fears,hopes and dreams with this community created for Caleb but blessing us all.
Take Care.
Deb, Groton, MA
My Dear, Dear Sharyn... I am writing through my tears this morning as I read your words. It is ALWAYS about Love and Forgiveness. It is so easy to sit here and send homilies and pontificate about what "one might do", and another to ACTUALLY DO.
Like you, refelcting on my past married life, not living authentically, and in concert with ones "truth" sends ripple into the universe that we don't even understand. But, what I hold to be true is that the most damage one can do to oneself is to compromise oneself. It takes courage, as Kevin has stated, to be able to admit ones inadequacies. It takes humilty, and a need to change things in a way that fill your soul. You can only hide from pain for so long, and then you explode. When my childrens father left us many years ago I found it easier to hold on to the pain, and vow to never forgive him for "dismantling" my family. What I didn't realize was my need to hold on to the pain, and how that fed me, or so I thought. What I have realized now is that what I saw in him was only a reflection of something in myself, which I needed to change. The need to forgive became greater than the need to dislike, hate, dispise....., but that only came after much discerning, reflection, soul searching about what I really wanted and needed in my life. The answer was simple, to be loved, repected, and treated in the way that I treat others..That road to forgiveness is constantly ahead of me, and some days it's easier than others, especially on the days that I wish the "family" were together. I am coming to respect our differences, and the varying turns our paths have taken, including the new, and younger women in his life, his new home etc. I don't have to feel sad anymore about those differences. We have both turned out to be wonderful people, and "great" (most humbly stated) parents in our own rights.
I have often thought of Jan as I have written, and wondered what he was thinking and feeling, and if he felt "out of the loop" in this process....I believe he has been carried by this community as well in loving thought...please forgive any judgment on my part...you are a loving and wonderful parent.Jan..your boys are blessed to have you...
To Sharyn, my arms reach around you and give you a warm and reassuring hug.....your realization will fill your days with light and love..
May it be so......
Con Todo Carino,
Melinda
Dear Sharyn,
Again you touch my heart at the very core.
To forgive is to have courage, this my dear woman you have in abundence.
A Meditation
Be still, go within. Picture Aladdin on his magic carpet floating through the air...and, he tells you,''come join me.''Soon you find yourself floating and moving about... sometimes smoothly...sometimes swiftly.The ride resembles the waves of a curvy line.Soon you find that there is no place where there is not.You gain entrance into all facets of the universe.
You see dear friend, this wave travels
through everything and it is just a matter of hitching on for the ride.
When there is a traffic jam of waves,we see the formation of a condensing form untill our imagination turns into illusion. The world is full of illusion when what is only real is the one carpet ride going through the maze searching to return to the simplicity where there is the the ability to ride anywhere you want. No traffic jams,no obstructions, no detours.When you learn to ride the wave freely and with proficiency entering into the illusion, it is just another trip.
At the end of this trip take a deep breath in your mind say,'' I forgive you, you will no longer have any hold on my life. I forgive myself and let go of any imbalance.Imagin as you forgive others, they disappear in a cloud of smoke to continue their journey.
Sending healing prayers to you and Caleb. Chris (Jims Mom)
okay, so i've read this blog a few times now and have been digesting it- amazing really-your words which clearly flow straight from the heart through your fingertips directly to all of us reading-as if you wrote this blog for each of us individually striking deep chords, paving a way for each of us to find something in ourselves, something deep within ourselves. this entry reminded me of how a book should be started. a beginning of a journey that had long since begun with a narration that had found its voice. my deepest thanks.
Your words, like birds, fly to my heart.
During the two semesters I knew Caleb at CMC he was nothing short of real. He was without a doubt one of the realest, truest, most honest people I have ever come across in my life. And at 18 years old, in a land far away from home he was one of the few people I knew I could always count on. He was wise beyond his years and no matter what we did, no matter what kind of situations we got ourselves into his mindset never changed. He was himself day in and day out, always, and in this crazy world it's refreshing to come across people like that for a change. Send him some Steamboat Springs love from me.
-Derek
Your blog was so incredibly moving today, Sharyn! Your words speak to so many of us in today's world. Thank you for sharing what must have been very difficult to articulate.
Sharyn, I am often moved by your words. When I slow down and consider them in meditation they resonate deeply and draw from within like the occasion piece of music that is in sync with the vibrations of my body. It carries me and becomes one with me.
Over the months I have seen in your writing the willingness to challenge, to seek, to forgive and let go and it seems clear from the many eloquent blogger comments that your journey and your sharing touches many. As I fend off yet another round of the “family” cold allowed in by my worry and stress of about work and life or pushing back the temptation to revisit old wounds, I feel your journey to “forgiveness”.
As a parent I grieve for you in the feeling of foreboding that was there before Caleb’s accident. A bending of time, a coincidental feeling? I am one that believes that is no cosmic “reason” for an accident or occurrence. There may be a reason of cause in effect reason but nothing beyond that. But, out of something bad can often bloom something good. Like the vibrant re-growth of a forest after a devastating fire, the dead wood has been cleared. The opportunity of the subsequent journey becomes the “reason, not the accident. The discovery, the uncovering of long buried “stuff” and bringing it to the surface, the opportunity to understand….the view becomes clearer as does the opportunity to heal. The healing and gentleness that comes from this community that is drawn together in the prayer and thoughts for healing for Caleb and has overflowed to so many is truly magical.
Though not in context with this post, something that has hit me like a 2x4 this week in thinking about your writings and the many comments by others is the “asking for help” and the willingness to accept it. Not something easy for many of us “guys”. This weighs heavy and I thank you for the gift of this personal awareness.
Tomorrow as I light the 5 candles I have for many months I will continue to carry good thoughts in my heart for your journey, for Caleb and the journeys of the many joined here.
Sharyn --
I recommend a book to you, which I am now reading myself. It's entitled, "The Forgiving Self; The Road from Resentment to Connection." It has been revealing, enlightening and a breath of fresh air for me.
You are so brave. How difficult -- impossible -- it can be to let go of all the bad, pent up feelings, and truly, deeply forgive.
I was also moved by your description of the foreboding you felt prior to Caleb's accident. Several years ago, my daughter, then 5, broke her arm disastrously at school. When school called, I knew before I picked up the phone that something bad had happened. I believe so many of us as mothers have this other-worldly ability. Whether we choose to listen to it is another issue. It is scary and takes courage. I believe to open yourself to this "mother's intuition" takes the exact same courage as it does to deal with whatever is thrown at us and our children. You have about as much courage as I've ever seen demonstrated in a person. I admire you and think of you often. You are setting a shining example for each and every mother who reads this page as religiously as I.
I am always particularly struck by the depth of your understanding of your three boys, coupled with the true acceptance you have of each of them as individuals. Not who you want them to be, but who they are in their cores. So many parents today focus on who they want their kids to be or who they should be. There is no good to that can come of that, I don't believe. You should be proud of your mothering instincts. I think I would not be quite so messed up today had I had a mother like you as a little girl!
Warm thoughts and blessings to you on this balmy winter day.
Dear Sharyn,
So glad things are still moving forward for Caleb. The fragility of life becomes ever so apparent as a 62 year old friend in perfect health died of a sudden heart attack last week.
We all need to be grateful for what we have.
love,
Flo
I am still waiting for the gift of being forgiven. It has been 20 years, and I have long since forgiven myself and forgiven him for his part but he moved away, and never forgave me for mine. It is not something I dwell on on a daily basis...actually it comes up in dreams now and then still.... ....unfinished business.
You have given Jan, Caleb, Kai,Max,
and yourself a wonderful gift. It may have taken a while to get to this place, a lot of pain and grief and bitterness over the years, but you have made it through. Baring one's soul and owning up is harder than hard and yet you have done so with grace and trust, and we are all honored by the trust you show in us. Forgive yourself for being human and don't look back.
As always, with hope,
peg from PA
Sharyn,
I remember growing up and always being jealous of Caleb's cool mom, not that i dont love my mom tremendously, but our life was pretty much following the rules-which was passed down to my mother and so bestowed upon us. But you were always such a beautiful person to me and you seemed so free. Same with Jan, when he comes into my department, i love seeing him because you both remind me of my childhood-for some reason your faces just connect me to the past and i love you both for it! It is always great to hear him say things are "good" or "ok", its music to my ears! You make a great team even if you arent a legally connected team anymore-you both bring so much to the table that the other stuff doesnt matter. You have made beautiful children who have grown with beautiful hearts!
Caleb, i hope to see you again soon! I should stop by again when you are feeling better, leave it to me to pick a day where you arent feeling so hot! Next time i will do better. I look at this elementary school picture from time to time, with a few of us standing in a circle such as Alexis Kmiec, Josh Packet, you, me, and i think Zoe and it just makes me laugh. We were so cute, who could resist us! Be well my friend, i love you dearly!
-Arozana
Forgiving myself for not honoring myself and my children but staying busy and "productive" for years (while blaming my ex for our troubles) led only to increased stress on the family and myself. The gift of time and feeling safe has brought me to forgiving myself-a work still in process. All of this is so hard and unending. Parenting has brought me the greatest gifts but also the hardest challenges in facing myself. Whatever we use to distract ourselves...drinking, working, smoking, etc in the end we are lucky when we recognize it for the blind alley it is. As a community it is wonderful to find support in each other on this journey. Thanks-am
The gift Caleb brought me was of offering a welcoming hello- with that engaging smile. In that moment I heard an echo of kindness calling within myself. Praying for you all so intensely this summer - I came to wonder- why haven't I asked for this healing for myself? Making space for change and peace...these gifts I am forever thankful for. You have an amazing gift , Sharyn Thank you for being open once again on a universal theme at such a personal level. There's no way round this mess- that's the gift of middle age. We now get to face all the muck that we thought we had successfully buried. Who knew life was an unending circle ? Delightfully there are some bennifits to getting older but they escape me at the moment .
may the circle be unbroken..........
A Prayer for all.
GOD
grant me the Serenity
to accept the things I
cannot change, Courage
to change the things I
can and Wisdom to know
the difference.
Thinking of you today and always. Love to the boys. Take care,
betsy
Your words are sincere and poetic. Please, you should consider publishing them somehow, someday to be a source of comfort for others...words someone can read and identify with and know that you, too, have experienced...life.
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