After a teary goodbye on my part- Kai has returned to Amherst. He is a pillar of strength to me and an enduring calming presence which is a neccessary balance to my conspicuous crazed nature. I will miss him. Max and I are the sentries now in charge of Caleb, Buuuf and Spud. We watch and learn. Being the first born, I found that Caleb, out of the three, was the one who taught me the most about parenting by the nature of his positioning as number one. I had to be patient and let him show me the way. For the most part- that is what we are doing once again, this time with the added benifit of my having learned that to go with his program is the better choice. This process of healing is an emotional sandpaper to glass and back again feeling for all of us. But as Kai is strength to me - Max is my mortar who glues and holds fast and won't allow for things to fall apart. ..... We are doing fine.
Jenny still comes by each day with her positive smile and big kiss for Caleb. He has been speaking to her about subjects that are very emotional - the loss of his eye, not being able to live in the apt. with her for now and the nerve-racking nightmares he has had about the accident. To all of us, in spite of his frustrations, we see this as progress on his part. He still hallucinates a bit and is easily confused, but we hope that all of this will heal with time.
We are walking each day, laughing each day and holding tight to one another.
We feel that life with all it's mysteries is still allowing for the best that is yet to come.
Mumsie
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On the fourth of July, 2007 Caleb Potter was involved in a skateboarding accident.
He suffered serious injuries and continues to need all of our positive thoughts and prayers.
This blog is to serve as a space for updates on Caleb's journey of recovery.
He suffered serious injuries and continues to need all of our positive thoughts and prayers.
This blog is to serve as a space for updates on Caleb's journey of recovery.
Adding Comments
Please feel free to add your comments to the blog. All you have to do is click on the number of comments at the bottom of one of the postings. Then write your comment in the box provided on the right side of the screen. Thank you to all of you who have been commenting so far; we're creating quite the community on here! Be well...
A BIG Thank You
In this season of giving thanks and celebrating family togetherness, I wish to extend a warm thank you to everyone who has been involved in a myriad of ways with my son, Caleb Potter, and his recovery. On July 4, he was involved in a skateboarding accident in our little hometown of Wellfleet on Cape Cod, that caused him serious injuries. He came home from Spaulding Rehab in Boston just before Thanksgiving. Through the blog we started:
http://calebpotter.blogspot.com/
the Wellfleet community of support stretched far and wide across the country, and in fact, throughout parts of the world, with many people offering prayers and words of wisdom. We could not have come so far without this legion of support from all of you, in Wellfleet and beyond. We are sincerely grateful.
Sharyn L. Lindsay and family
http://calebpotter.blogspot
the Wellfleet community of support stretched far and wide across the country, and in fact, throughout parts of the world, with many people offering prayers and words of wisdom. We could not have come so far without this legion of support from all of you, in Wellfleet and beyond. We are sincerely grateful.
Sharyn L. Lindsay and family
DONATIONS
THE CALEB POTTER
BENEFIT FUND
Donations may be made in person at any branch of Cape Cod Five Cents Savings Bank or mailed to the bank at P.O. Box 697, Wellfleet, MA 02667.
Thank you SO MUCH
for your contributions.
With love,
from all of Caleb's friends and family
BENEFIT FUND
Donations may be made in person at any branch of Cape Cod Five Cents Savings Bank or mailed to the bank at P.O. Box 697, Wellfleet, MA 02667.
Thank you SO MUCH
for your contributions.
With love,
from all of Caleb's friends and family
Official Information
If you have questions about calebpotter.blogspot.com,
email Sky at:
novembersky.freysscole@gmail.com
email Sky at:
novembersky.freysscole@gmail.com
For Sending Cards etc.
Caleb Potter
c/o Sharyn Lindsay
45 Sapokonish Way
Wellfleet, MA
02667
(please be respectful)
c/o Sharyn Lindsay
45 Sapokonish Way
Wellfleet, MA
02667
(please be respectful)
MORE POSTS!
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28 comments:
You do sound like you are doing fine. Moving forward, covering new ground. Through your words I feel Caleb’s anguish and agree that being able to move beyond just physical survival to working through the trauma and aftermath of the accident is tremendous progress. Your words are so true about how we learn from our kids and how, like them learning to walk or ride a bike, we try to support them but, for them to succeed and grow, we have to let them go on their own. I have been following at least five different parallel and intersecting journeys in you words and they are all good and positive. I stop counting the number of other life journeys that your experiences and words have affected, mine included. I send warm calm thoughts on this cold morning. Thoughts that the Great Spirit wraps Caleb in a warm blanket of love and peace during these times, thoughts of the warmth of the sun on a warm summer day, embracing you all on this journey.
I'm sitting having a cup of coffee and my house is off to a lazy start.....I feel while reading your update that I'm having coffee with you and listening to the latest! Strange.....but, it sounds like things are progressing in a positive way. You make it "sound" so easy! Hopefully when you get some free time you can SERIOUSLY consider writing your story.....you have a gift! Have a great day and say HI to Caleb for us down here!
What a learning experience this has been for you all.....learning about each other's strengths, learning patience and hope, about the power of love, how to value every minute, the list goes on and on. In sharing your thoughts, you are teaching all of us valuable lessons and that is a generous gift for which I thank you.
For Caleb to be talking about his losses is so healing. These things cease to have such a powerful hold over one's mind once they are brought out into the open. Working through this grief process is hard and painful, but it is another step in the right direction.....Keep talking Caleb, you are on your own road to healing, and we are all walking right beside you.
Thinking of you all every day...
As always,with hope,
peg from PA
Sharyn,
My son Brian like Kai goes back to Amherst today as well. I know the feeling and it's not one you like getting used to. Parts of life as our kids grow. We learned from our parents, we learn from our kids and we all learn from each other. Shit! We must all be brilliant by now! Why is my computer screwed up and so slow? How do you hook up the DVD player? I put through the wash two cell phones in 2007. My 2008 New Year's resolution is to let my cell phone be as dirty as possible... Wait a minute, I don't know if that came out right... OK! Everyone that's smiling has the same dirty mind I do... We all keep learning is my drawn out point here.
That Caleb is sharing with Jennie emotional issues tells me a lot about his recovery. I only can take that as a good sign. It's forward progress, just like in winning a football game.
The best is yet to come.
Kevin
Sharyn:
Your hopeful post is like sunshine on this cold, gray Wellfleet day.
NY/Wellfleet Mom
P.S.
I guess I should have said "hope-filled post." Anyway, I hope you know what I mean.
NY/Wellfleet mom
OMG Sharyn......yes you are doing fine. I respect you and love you more than you will ever know God bless, and I pray that one day I will have the strength that you have
Hi Sharyn,
WOW, It's been quite some time since I've been able to log onto the blog. It's great(and theraputic,) I think, to have read your words today. I'm SO GLAD to hear of all Caleb progress. Everytime that someone I know has a visit with Caleb, I get nothing but GREAT responses from those people about how Caleb was during the visit. Phenominal! I miss him, and hope to be able to see him soon. I am happy to hear that you are all doing well over at the Potter/Lindsay compound. Stay well, and please remember that we are ALWAYS here for you whenever you need us.
LOVE,
Nicole and The Miners
Sharyn, it must be both painful and also encouraging to hear Caleb talk about his losses---encouraging because it means he is facing the future and beginning to comprehend what it all means. And yet...oh, so painful. I feel for you all.
Kai should know that there are lots of us out here in western MA who can be there if he needs a friendly face (though he sounds like one strong and independent young man). There are quite a few of us who post regularly from the western counties, so give a call if you or he needs some support.
Amy from western MA
Hi Again, Sharyn,
I couldn't remember if I had e-mailed you this already or not...
A Poem by Gary Neuman. A wonderful and inspiring poem about being a parent. I hope that you enjoy it!!!!!!!!!
I know what's important now.
I've taxied children to violin, swimming, piano, baseball, hockey, and parties.
I've run through the streets drenched with sweat, holding the back of a childs bicycle.
I've jumped with sheer joy when I let go, and saw the bike continue on it's own.
I've had children's songs race through my mind for hours at a time.
I've romanticly danced with my Wife to Barney tunes.
I've built castles, pizza, tunnells, and mud pies at the beach.
I've pushed a swing a million times.
I've cupped the small, warm fingers of my child in my hand.
I've crept into my children's rooms to watch them sleep.
I've found my shoes fifty feet from where I left them, filled with little men, pennies, and tissues.
I've made my children cry, and have cried for them.
I've read the same story no less than a thousand times.
I've dressed moving targets.
I've checked for monsters under beds and in closets.
I've spent nights with bottles, medicines, sheet changes after accidents,
diapers, and hugging scared kids after nightmares.
I've changed over three thousand diapers.
I've gotten goosebumps from watching the smiling faces of my children.
I've stayed in the most luxurious hotels alone, dying to get back home.
I've prayed.....A lot!
Now, don't get me wrong, there have been moments when I've dreamt of luxurious baths and exquisite sleep with a quiet, long breakfast while reading a whole dry newspaper.
I've remembered having money in my pocket.
I've longed to be bored.
I've wished that kid would stop poking me in my sleep.
But I am a Parent, see, and I know what's important now.
LOVE
Nicole M. :)
Sending my love, always...
Lily
sharyn,
seeing the pictures of the boys today and reading your words of motherhood make me stop and think of my own life. nicole's poem that she put up was GREAT.
my only son is going to turn 13 in a month and i look back and think that he was a baby just yesterday. thru a bad marriage, horrible divorce and then the death of his father, this little boy is grown beyond his years.
i think that i only have 5 years left with him until he leaves for college.
i think that i only have 5 years left of him 'under my roof'... whether that means fights or joy, laughter or tears... only 5 years left.
you speak of kai leaving for school and i can feel you from here.
you are a wonderful mother and i am learning from you as you learned from caleb ... leading the way.
thank you for your words.
keep up the good work, caleb. keep talking, keep feeling, keep remembering, keep healing.
you all are constantly in my prayers.
love and peace to you from
amy in ct
Sharyn-
As always your words fill my heart. As I young mother myself I value your insight, your strength, wisdom, and courage. I spend my days, trying to be the parent I'm supposed to be. Learning from my young son, and still trying to find who I'am to be. As the snow blows around outside I'm debating what to do with my day. A long walk out on the dunes would be wonderful, yes cold but glorious. I just can't bare to leave the warmth and saftey of my couch. Sometimes we all just need to feel safe, to feel that the world isn't infact trying to devour us. Sharyn, you and your boys are truly amazing. I wonder daily how I never crossed their paths over the years. I mean I'm 25 and grew up in P-town. It's the strangest thing, since growing up here you think you know everyone. I want/need you to know that you have made a major impact on my life. That you, Caleb and your entire family/friends have altered the way I think and value myself, my friends, and my family. I thank you for sharing your emotions, thoughts, fears, dreams, hopes, nightmares, and loves with me, with all of us.
All my love,
P-town girl.
My heart aches for Caleb in his experience of painful memories and frustration(s)... while at the same time it rejoices (as in, pure JOY) at the progress he is making through a difficult journey back to himself. Gail
Hey, how is the snow out there? I read that the Cape was getting up to a foot of snow! Out here where we usually get more snow, we only got a covering. Hope everyone down there is safe and sound and staying warm and off slippery roads.
Amy from western MA
I read on Cape Cod Times....Wellfleet won first prize for snow...13.5"! Oh well....just cozy up on the couch, no one is going anywhere today. ENJOY!
13+" of white gold!!! I'm sure you all haven't forgotten how to build snow castles! Thinking of you while playing on the slopes of the Mt. Washington Valley. Hugs and God Bless. Natale & Peter
Wow, 13.5 inches! I hope our poor little cottage is doing okay. And I hope everyone down there for the winter is safe and enjoying what must be some gorgeous scenery. What does the beach look like with a foot of snow? Or the ponds? Must be just amazing.
SNOW REPORT from Yurtville in Paine Hollow......
OK OK...there's some question among the tribe as to whether we REALLY got 13.5 inches.....but close to a foot seems to "work"...Twas real whiteout conditions last night from 6-10-ish..it blew really hard NE so that often THAT side --the ocean side--is really sand/gravel/salt blasted.....with nothing on the sand....I x-country skiied (wood...waxed skiis!!)all morning...and found it like skiing on clouds ..in the pinewoods and .along the salt marsh along blackfish creek....now THERE was MORE than a foot as it had drifted...a sweet sweet place to ski...allowing for tidal intrusions which make for saltish/sticky patches...
..the ponds had been ....approaching....freeze.... with a few nights near 20 degrees..but/and NOW.....we'll have to start all over --after the meltage--with the days getting longer...it's gonna have to get pretty cold...pretty quick!!!
I love the snow...and I know that there are a few of US out here that DO....it is WINTER...after all... in New England....as long as we can all keep our home-fires burning!!!!light!ly....ch/dad
...Beautiful poem, Nicole--thank you...
Sharyn, the best IS yet to come...
Let's see: from the boys you have "Patience", "Strengh",and the "Mortar" that holds it all together. Nice combination. Throw in all the great laughs for good measure. Include a smiling and positive Jennie. Add in a Mumsie with the insight, understanding and thoughts that you are able to translate into beautiful words, the fierce love that you have, the beautiful spirit. Then there are other family members, close friends near and far, and so many others who send you love and support each day. Yes, I'd say it seems that what surrounds you can only bring out the best that is yet to come.
And for the 2 AM awakenings... Different things work for different people, so for what it's worth, here is another one: "Moon Drops", a natural homeopathic remedy, available at whole food stores.
Sending you positive energy,
D.
North Eastham
Hi Sharyn,
I've done the 2-4 AM thing so I know how it is. Benadryl works great and I take it most nights, not just to sleep, but to relieve some Winter allergies. Your life sounds like full speed ahead and aren't we all thankful for that? You have much to be thankful for amidst all of the heartbreak you have endured for the past 6 months. I enjoyed the pics of you and the boys around the fire. That's so typical of you-in your natural farm girl element. And talking about Grace and Roland just tore me up. I loved those people!! Your Mom was such a spirited woman and your Dad a tower of strength. And did they know how to work hard..raising 6 kids on a farm. My how we long for them when the going gets rough! I still miss my parents and can bring up tears quite quickly when I think of how much I loved them and how they helped shape me into the woman I am today. My Dad has been gone nearly 22 yrs. and I think of him frequently and how he prepared me to face my life as it is. Your parents taught you well how to be a parent and those skills have blessed you tremendously with three wonderful young men. Abundant blessings to you, Sharyn, as you continue walking on this wilderness journey. Many people have walked the same road as you. Caleb is such a wonderful gift and his progress is indeed miraculous. What else can we expect from a Lindsay/Potter? If everyone in this world loved their children as much as you do, we would eliminate so much dysfunction in this world. As an urban teacher, I see so much neglect and abuse that is inflicted upon innocent children that it makes my head spin. That is not love. It is a rare family indeed that truly loves unconditionally and without reservation. It is so sad how many people fall short of this. You haven't..........and your family, with the love that binds you all together, will triumph over this as one united. Love conquers all!! Keep the great posts coming.
Love to you and your family,
Sue
Ch/Dad, thanks for the snow report! How about some photos?
I love the snow also, though hate driving in it. I have never seen Wellfleet with snow.
i have seen the cape in snow, it is beautiful!
thanks ch/dad!
amy in ct
to amy from western Mass : good x-country skiing again this morning..switched to waxless skiis (w/ridges!)It is Beautiful, still in and among the pine trees and out along the marsh..
I haven't been out to the snowfields..as yet..it's getting a bit mushy....around noon-ish...the best I can do for a picture...is to have you "scroll back/down" to MY "blogg-gish behaviour" on the 19th of October,2007....to check out the photo of the dune at 4-mile/white crest...after a few sledding runs...THAT snow....came down with no wind and the Beach snow WAS beautiful....Sky may have a few photos in her computer??....that shows Cape Cod snow?? (hint hint!!)....it's just another "magical flavour" of our Cape Cod..At the Blue edge of the Blue!!..
gotta love it when it's HERE!!!! light!ly....ch/dad
ps....Kai...the wind hasn't come around to clean it up, yet...you're not missing anything... yet!!;-D....though a few hopefuls were gathered around their coffee cups at LeCount's!!soon come, mon!
Thanks again, ch/dad. You are making me wishing even more than usual that I was there rather than here in western MA. I will scroll down and look for your photo.
Meanwhile, I hope Sharyn and Caleb and Max are not snowed in down there and are perhaps enjoying long walks through that snow.
Amy from western MA
Many years ago, when my children were about 4 and 2, we arrived early at Duck Harbor to be there for low tide. Out of nowhere, three adorable little boys with their little-boy-sized fishing nets ran onto the beach. Their father accompanied them and was amenable to conversation with us, obviously the not-locals. We watched with pleasure as the boys scooped up all kinds of ocean stuff with their nets, and as they clearly got what they came for. The next morning, we arrived at Duck Harbor early again,this time, our own nets in hand. My children were as happy as clams and set up for many many years of happy times at low tide. On that second morning, out of nowhere,one of the most stunning women I'd ever seen walked onto the beach: tall, graceful, statuesque, calm,lovely -- the mother of the little boys with nets. She too was friendly with "the tourists" and easy to engage in conversation. During those two weeks in Wellfleet in 1989, we saw those bright and shining members of the family several more times -- usually unbeknownst to them. We saw them at the beach, running across the road from their house to Long Pond, and even, as I recall , one evening in town, walking to or from the ice cream shop. Even before our children were born, while living in Boston, we spent time on The Cape. After a move to Washington DC in the mid-70's we went back rarely until it was time to introduce our children to the wonders of the place. And thus we returned every year for several weeks at summer's end -- spending time at all the usual and favorite places. Nearly every year, we caught a glimpse of the brothers who clearly ruled The Fleet. This year, after dropping both of our children at their respective colleges, we returned just the two of us for a couple weeks of much needed peace and repair. Upon arrival we saw the signs all over town -- "Pray for Caleb", they implored. Once we learned who Caleb was, and what happened to him, and to his family on July 4, we too were moved to worry about this stranger, and were pulled into the deep and anguished concern of his community. I learned about the blog and began to read Sharyn's gripping narrative, tho in truth, I had very mixed feelings about reading her most intimate writings. But I found that I could not ignore them. While I believe that there is no way to add anything new to the wise and insightful responses that Sharyn's writings have evoked from her readers, I would like to say that it all reads, and feels like sacred text. To which I often think an "amen" at the end of a passage. In my personal and professional worlds, I am often in the presence of those who are wounded, distressed, disturbed and disrupted by a variety of injuries to the brain. It is a long, arduous and frighteningly uncertain road to a recovered life, and takes Herculean strength of mind and body to carry on. I am awed by Jennie's dedication and belief in Caleb's return to life. I am deeply moved by Sharyn, Max and Kai's resolve to keep it going in the right direction, even when fierce winds blow at cross purposes to their efforts. I marvel at their collective capacity to keep faith -- for the sake of their Caleb. I can only offer the same best wishes as the many who have already writen -- best wishes to all of you for continuing strength and an increasing sense of well-being, with heartfelt hope that only the best dreams are fully realized.
To Anonymous (above at 6:01 PM on 1/30/08):
What a beautiful story.....and such beautiful writing and vivid descriptions...thank you.
Amen!
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