Perhaps it is the guilt I feel over the fact that I am still fully functioning that makes me feel sad when I look into Caleb's face and detect the regret in his eye. Perhaps it is the loss of the many years that he will miss out on while he is healing that summons tears forth. I have up close, binocular vision when it comes to him, and yet I cannot find him. I am on the see/saw side of life..watching for the old him and finding the new. I believe the struggle with this type of accident is that, unlike with a death where you miss and mourn, with this you miss and mourn and invite in the new all at once and it is difficult at best to wrap one's mind around that. We are missing our old Caleb and inviting in the new Caleb that we don't yet know very well...but here he is with all the new, startling behaviors that a newborn brings.
He is healing and with that comes some usual, expected patterns. The kind and soft patient that he was has turned into a short tempered, demanding and frustrated young man with a bit of spike to him. We do not recognize him in this. In spite of the fact that I am quite certain this will pass as well as the last stage did, and we wecome it as a sure sign of health, it leaves us frustrated and hurting by nightfall, too weak to discuss it and too forlorn and fragmented to focus on the positive.
The boys and I hold up by holding eachother up.
Now I must discuss another phenomenon which takes place all the while that I am hurting and feeling down. Richness. There is a richness to my life now which was not present before. A springing forth, a new beginning. I used to walk with my father to the newly planted fields of Ohio and watch as he stooped over to scrape away the soil with his big farmer hands to unearth a new seed just beginning to sprout. It was in that promise that he would then cover it up and expect good things to happen. There was a richness in the movement of his hand, and assurance and faith. So now in this day I am that little, toe headed girl walking along side a bigger force, holding his hand and allowing the miracles that happen when we let them.
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On the fourth of July, 2007 Caleb Potter was involved in a skateboarding accident.
He suffered serious injuries and continues to need all of our positive thoughts and prayers.
This blog is to serve as a space for updates on Caleb's journey of recovery.
He suffered serious injuries and continues to need all of our positive thoughts and prayers.
This blog is to serve as a space for updates on Caleb's journey of recovery.
Adding Comments
Please feel free to add your comments to the blog. All you have to do is click on the number of comments at the bottom of one of the postings. Then write your comment in the box provided on the right side of the screen. Thank you to all of you who have been commenting so far; we're creating quite the community on here! Be well...
A BIG Thank You
In this season of giving thanks and celebrating family togetherness, I wish to extend a warm thank you to everyone who has been involved in a myriad of ways with my son, Caleb Potter, and his recovery. On July 4, he was involved in a skateboarding accident in our little hometown of Wellfleet on Cape Cod, that caused him serious injuries. He came home from Spaulding Rehab in Boston just before Thanksgiving. Through the blog we started:
http://calebpotter.blogspot.com/
the Wellfleet community of support stretched far and wide across the country, and in fact, throughout parts of the world, with many people offering prayers and words of wisdom. We could not have come so far without this legion of support from all of you, in Wellfleet and beyond. We are sincerely grateful.
Sharyn L. Lindsay and family
http://calebpotter.blogspot
the Wellfleet community of support stretched far and wide across the country, and in fact, throughout parts of the world, with many people offering prayers and words of wisdom. We could not have come so far without this legion of support from all of you, in Wellfleet and beyond. We are sincerely grateful.
Sharyn L. Lindsay and family
DONATIONS
THE CALEB POTTER
BENEFIT FUND
Donations may be made in person at any branch of Cape Cod Five Cents Savings Bank or mailed to the bank at P.O. Box 697, Wellfleet, MA 02667.
Thank you SO MUCH
for your contributions.
With love,
from all of Caleb's friends and family
BENEFIT FUND
Donations may be made in person at any branch of Cape Cod Five Cents Savings Bank or mailed to the bank at P.O. Box 697, Wellfleet, MA 02667.
Thank you SO MUCH
for your contributions.
With love,
from all of Caleb's friends and family
Official Information
If you have questions about calebpotter.blogspot.com,
email Sky at:
novembersky.freysscole@gmail.com
email Sky at:
novembersky.freysscole@gmail.com
For Sending Cards etc.
Caleb Potter
c/o Sharyn Lindsay
45 Sapokonish Way
Wellfleet, MA
02667
(please be respectful)
c/o Sharyn Lindsay
45 Sapokonish Way
Wellfleet, MA
02667
(please be respectful)
MORE POSTS!
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10 comments:
to be in your shoes, sharyn.... your emotions are all over the place. when we have visited in the past i can see the strong tigress that you speak of with a wonderful sense of humor, and when you write like you did today i see the vulnerable, sometimes agry and sad side.... and yet you look to the future... because that is what we are supposed to do, and you look to that future with hope, healing and a full heart.
my life is certainly changed since i met you all.... you help me realize what is right in front of me.
thank you again for your words and letting us all into your world.
peace prayers and love to you all
amy in ct
Sharyn,
Your blog entry just blew me away...it was one of the most direct and powerful. I must say that it made me think/feel that you are now very much present in the present...the here and now...and that is a very good thing, You are clearly
moving forward.
My very best to you and yours, Gail
Your posts and readers' responses point to the fact that we will all meet on the ultimate roller coaster. The fact that you share your ride so amazingly and openly with us is quite noble, Sharyn. Allow us who are not physically present to hold you up, too.
I just don't what to say Sharyn, such deep feelings laid out there, bare and exposed. Good for you! It is amazing that you can process all of this daily and are still able to express it out in such a powerful way. I try to learn from your experiences although I have nothing so emotional to compare to. Such a unique situation you are all in, yet so many of us out here can relate and use your words of wisdom in our own lives.
Much of your agony I share by simply being the mother of a teenage daughter. It is also like living with a new person daily. I try to cope, to understand, to accept, to protect, to help...but am often met with a blank stare, wide smile, demands or outright hostility. I never know what to expect and I mourn for the little princess she used to be.I miss our closeness, and hope her altered state of being too will pass. Our house is overrun with kids coming and going... a safe place to hang out, her friends up from Fleet visiting for weekends, a few kids turning into large parties, co-ed sleepovers, I'm now counting my beers and holding tight to my wine while wondering how liberal I can continue to be while the teens take life fast and run. I struggle as many have and many will. You survived it thrice and your boys are treasures. I hope I can also find the richness. I'll bring the wine next time I'm in Fleet and perhaps we can unearth a few things together.
Peace,
Jane
Hey Mumzie..
just wanting to say hey..thanks for sharing your thoughts, I think you are doing wonderfully in supporting Caleb's healing. We all learn a lot from you...gracias guapa.
xoxo..
. . . and allowing the miracles that happen when we let them . . . isn't that just life in a nutshell? You truly have such a gift at bringing the lesson into such focus, even as you struggle. I do see the short-tempered frustration as a good sign, but remember the stinging words of my children at two and six and sixteen. I have no doubt that you will find your way and you will allow Caleb to find his, too. Love, El
I too, feel like this new and not so lovely side of Caleb is transient and temporary - and a sure sign of him entering a new phase.....again, hold on tight and cling to yourself, us and anyone you choose to, as you ride out this stretch of road. He is doing what he has to climb up and out of where he was....buckle up and continue to be his Mumsie - the one who was there every minute of the way as he struggled so to survive - the Caleb you get when he gets to the other side of all of this short tempered stuff and anger will delight you...he's still in there.....he will find his way -
Hold on Sharyn - wish I were there for a good drink and a warm talk....maybe even a laugh or two -
Even during our all too brief conversation, I saw all of the wonderful sides that make you,you.
The protective tigress,the sweet and wonderful and powerful Mumsie,the frightened and hurt girl, the frustrated and angry woman.....and I would have loved nothing more than to sit and spend the day with ALL of her!
You wouldn't be you and WE wouldn't be here.....if not for you,the tigress,the vulnerable, the melancholy, the fighter...the wild child (yes, I caught a clear glimpse of her too)!
So keep on going and keep on sharing - that's what we're here for!!
Light and love-
Nancy in NY
Sharyn,
I get exactly what you are saying about Caleb...I used to take for granted seeing his shit eating grin all the time...Now when I hear him make the starting words in a conversation with me I am thrilled to no end to see his progress! Whoever said live each day has it right!
Kevin
Beautiful words, Sharyn.
Caleb is coming back, I am sure of it. The pendulum swings far in both directions but always settles in the middle. You are all healing apace and in your own ways.
As always, with hope,
peg from PA
Sharyn, Somehow I remember reading when my kids were growing up that before each growth spurt, physically as well as emotionally and intellectually, a child goes through an angry, restless stage---at 2,4, 12, etc. Perhaps this restless stage means Caleb is about to go through some kind of spurt as well.
Thinking of you,
Amy from western MA
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