An e-mail from Kai...
Hello mum.
Finally just got your email. I've just come from 3 hrs of surfing a big, clean fun wave and am salty and crusty. I am doing well and enjoying my time- but still all I think of is home and caleb and all of us- as if it would be wrong for me not to do so. And this is ok- beacause I will think of it no matter where I am. This is not a bad thing- to think- I have some distance and perhaps, hopefully, some new perspective. It was so good to talk to Caleb last night (a.m. for you). He sounded really good, clear and spoke more fluidly than the last time I spoke with him. He said, "I sound better than I really am"- that saddened me. It all does. There is no escape form it- I did not come here to run from it, but to examine it all. I am well. We are getting good surf and everyone is getting along well. I love you and miss you. Heal up. Talk to you soon.

Caleb. I love to hear your voice over the phone because I miss it- waking me up in the morning or asking where your dinner is at night. All I can think of when I am here is having you here with me and how much fun we would have. I see you in so many places here. I sometimes have a hard time when I'm talking to people because the things they say seem so fake and unimportant. You never wasted words- even when you were joking around and I always love talking with you. When you are feeling better and more healed- we will come to some warm place and swim in some clear green water. Caleb- I have always felt closer to you than any other living thing. I felt I could tell you anything- without even saying a word you would understand me. Like I told you the other morning, it breaks my heart a thousand times every day when I think of you getting hurt, and the struggle that you face every day- just to get through the day. I am amazed at how strongly you turn into the storm winds that rage against you- head on and pushing farther and farther with each step. Caleb, you were hurt so badly that parts of you were taken from you- and I miss those parts so deeply- but I love you and and as I promised in the hospital- I will always be your little brother and I swear to help you with anything you need for the rest of our lives. I will always help you heal in anyway I can. I love you. Your little brother Kai.