Sitting down the road from Caleb's therapy sipping mocha at the Chocolate Sparrow.
I spy a man who I recognize from the Club (my former life). He was always gregarious with hello's all around the room - then he, like me would settle into his workouts not wanting to converse, since we were the rather serious about working out kinds.

Somehow he looked older, shruken, and not as chipper. We exchanged hello's again and I settled into a seat next to his, waiting for Caleb's hot cocoa to go.

Soon we were sitting closer, like lover's we were face to face, not aware of anyone else in the room. He lost a son around Christmas time and he was aware of Caleb through the papers, but was not aware that Caleb belonged to me...so there we sat , eye to eye, telling our stories and finding solice in eachother....It is interesting when you can feel..actually feel another human's pain ---till now it was always- "oh I am so sorry" and then I got to walk back into my normal life. Now I sit on the edge of my chair and hang on every word and look into the pained soul who is now my mirror.
But isn't this why you are all drawn to this page - this written account of love, love lost,death, pain, strength,laughter, courage and the willful urge to go on. It is within all of us - it is us, each and everyone. ... and like lover's - you and I on this page sit looking into eachother's lives with dewey eyes and a lump in our throats, and we feed eachother the necessary ingredients of hope in order to go on.

Jenny came to Fleet last night and stayed over with us - so wonderful to see her...she is bubbly as ever and doing well. Bowling night left Kai and I on our own- so we went margarita hopping around town and found ourselves on the upper deck of one of my customer's houses (and friend) overlooking the bay ...and so high up that you might touch a star. We finally spoke openly of Jan and Caleb, our lives . Kai said when he would see Caleb's truck around town..he would park and seek him out... he said that it was like that feeling of being in love where you are only focused on seeing that one person and nothing else matters. I know it well.... we are perched across from each and every one of you out there who follow along with us and feel for us and hope for us....and I would not give up my chair for anything!