Life with a brain injured person takes on a whole different dimension- a different pace. Like the maple leafed mobile that swings in perpetual motion over Caleb's bed - I am used to moving around. . I am a do-er. Now my day begins with a cup of coffee at his bedside. We watch the birds who hover on the portico watching for the cat and vying for their turn at the feeder. They spot us and gossip. We count the birds...we blow at the mobile. We don't even think about getting up for another hour. We plan our day - will we go to the General for an egg sandwich and then watch Kai surf? Will we wait till Max is up and walk the dog? What slowly measured plan will we come up with for yet another 24 hours? I am the kind who winds the top up tight and begins to pump it again when it shows any sign of slowing...now I am forced to be on the lilting, tilting end where the top threatens to fall over if it does not get juiced up again. Deep breath! I am grateful for this langour. I am learning to trust the process.
I was at a grief seminar and I learned through other's stories that time reveals all unanswered questions. We are changed people from now on - never to be returned to our former selves, but what we might unfold into is acceptable, even welcomed. Will we always want our old lives back? Yes yes yes a thousand times yes....But already I am noticing that when I look people in the eye as we speak, my eyes linger jut a bit longer and peer a bit deeper. I listen better and I understand more. My heart has softened and clearly - even tho my top is slowing down, I trust that I am turning in the right direction.
We hold you in our thoughts.
mumsie
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On the fourth of July, 2007 Caleb Potter was involved in a skateboarding accident.
He suffered serious injuries and continues to need all of our positive thoughts and prayers.
This blog is to serve as a space for updates on Caleb's journey of recovery.
He suffered serious injuries and continues to need all of our positive thoughts and prayers.
This blog is to serve as a space for updates on Caleb's journey of recovery.
Adding Comments
Please feel free to add your comments to the blog. All you have to do is click on the number of comments at the bottom of one of the postings. Then write your comment in the box provided on the right side of the screen. Thank you to all of you who have been commenting so far; we're creating quite the community on here! Be well...
A BIG Thank You
In this season of giving thanks and celebrating family togetherness, I wish to extend a warm thank you to everyone who has been involved in a myriad of ways with my son, Caleb Potter, and his recovery. On July 4, he was involved in a skateboarding accident in our little hometown of Wellfleet on Cape Cod, that caused him serious injuries. He came home from Spaulding Rehab in Boston just before Thanksgiving. Through the blog we started:
http://calebpotter.blogspot.com/
the Wellfleet community of support stretched far and wide across the country, and in fact, throughout parts of the world, with many people offering prayers and words of wisdom. We could not have come so far without this legion of support from all of you, in Wellfleet and beyond. We are sincerely grateful.
Sharyn L. Lindsay and family
http://calebpotter.blogspot
the Wellfleet community of support stretched far and wide across the country, and in fact, throughout parts of the world, with many people offering prayers and words of wisdom. We could not have come so far without this legion of support from all of you, in Wellfleet and beyond. We are sincerely grateful.
Sharyn L. Lindsay and family
DONATIONS
THE CALEB POTTER
BENEFIT FUND
Donations may be made in person at any branch of Cape Cod Five Cents Savings Bank or mailed to the bank at P.O. Box 697, Wellfleet, MA 02667.
Thank you SO MUCH
for your contributions.
With love,
from all of Caleb's friends and family
BENEFIT FUND
Donations may be made in person at any branch of Cape Cod Five Cents Savings Bank or mailed to the bank at P.O. Box 697, Wellfleet, MA 02667.
Thank you SO MUCH
for your contributions.
With love,
from all of Caleb's friends and family
Official Information
If you have questions about calebpotter.blogspot.com,
email Sky at:
novembersky.freysscole@gmail.com
email Sky at:
novembersky.freysscole@gmail.com
For Sending Cards etc.
Caleb Potter
c/o Sharyn Lindsay
45 Sapokonish Way
Wellfleet, MA
02667
(please be respectful)
c/o Sharyn Lindsay
45 Sapokonish Way
Wellfleet, MA
02667
(please be respectful)
Blog Archive
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2008
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June
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- Caleb's short term memory is eeking it's way back ...
- When pressured, I cannot always remember the Latin...
- I am marking the passing of time by the pill box t...
- I tucked him in for a nap today and my heart skipp...
- Father's day
- This winding little dirt road leads you to a home ...
- Sometimes at night while he sleeps, and I cannot, ...
- Life with a brain injured person takes on a whole ...
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- Caleb's 26th
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21 comments:
Sharyn,
It is my opinion that we learn so much from tragedy, grief for any reason, so the source of the grief becomes the teacher. Tragedy, grief is all part of our life cycle. It is just that we are sheltered so much from dealing with it in our western culture. I also personally believe that we live our lives and cope so much better when everything is slowed down so that we appreciate each breath that is given to us. The visual of you and Caleb observing a bird feeder slowed me down right at that moment and we need those constant reminders. I looked at the wooden post outside my window just waiting for me to nail a bird feeder onto so I can count, breathe, plan for, and thank the day given to me.
Again, thank you and Caleb for today's lesson.
Most of us rush through life - running and never really seeing. We don't appreciate the ease with which we pass through each moment.
You always make me think.
Sharyn:
Your last two posts were exceptionally beautiful, and as always, thought provoking. I am heartened by the little rooster story, and today's post reminded me that life is full of intensely beautiful moments, but unless we slow down and look for them, we will miss them. Thank you.
As for Caleb's wish list, I hope I'm not took late to make a few additions:
Like everyone, I wish for him an independent life, love, laughter, and complete healing. But I also have two other wishes: that Yellow Beard returns to the July 4 parade, and come October, Caleb is again shucking oysters at the Oyster Fest.
Sending everyone warm wishes on this intensely warm and intensely beautiful Wellfleet day,
NY/Wellfleet Mom
i miss you guys. sending love in your direction.
x sky
Sharyn, It was nice to see you today. Xo.
Good Day Sharyn and family,
Your description of the birds watching for the cat and waiting their turn at the feeder reminds me of my small patio and a small dish of water which I place under a table for my cat and any other cat who happens to wander by and who might be thirsty. The cute thing is that there are a couple of sweet little "sugar birds"(small black and yellow birds about the size of your Chickadees)who, when the kitties are not around, use it for their private bird bath and only one can fit in the dish at a time so while one bathes vigorously the other waits impatiently,however always on alert for what or who may be lurking behind a fern. Well this morning Ziggy happened to be out sunbathing when the first little bird showed up and did little hop dances on top of the table under which sat the dish of water. The second little bird landed on the table as well and there was a kind of chirping communication going on and suddenly off the two of them went. No bath this morning!! Ziggy,although very quiet and not moving a muscle,watched intently as they flew off and up into the trees.
A wonderful way to start the day--you and Caleb.
Best wishes and love,
Penny
my wish dream for caleb...
he is out bullraking on the flats and comes across something much larger than an oyster... it is a treasure chest...hard to retrieve at low tide, but the thought of what might be inside that beautiful box with the bowed roof and leather handles pushes caleb on to get it back to shore and rest in the sand for awhile...
after some time caleb decides to open the chest.. many people milling around and expecting to see silver goblets, gold coins, jewels, ect.
the copper latch was very rusty but caleb pried it open as easily as if he was shucking an oyster...
so caleb opened the top and all the bystanders were agast that the treasure chest was empty and had nothing of materiel worth inside..
caleb responded:
"on the contrary my friends, this treasure chest holds all of my hopes & dreams"
so true, we learn from what we have been thru. to loose someone unexpectedly, or to go thru something so traumatic.... you tend to really realize the importance of TODAY. i too pay more attention, hold on more tightly, step up to the edge of the water even though it scares me sometimes.
be well today in your thoughts, and know that i am thinking of you all.... you are in my prayers.
amy in ct
Isn't it amazing what it takes to make us slow down and appreciate all that we have? The joyful song of a wren outside your window, a beautiful sunrise over the sea , a big smile on a little baby's face, the twinkle in a lover's eye, these things become commonplace and can go unnoticed until a heartbreak so profound wrenches us out of our complacency and forces us to wake up. Then everything comes into such sharp focus, and we see and feel in minute detail.....why does it take reaching the brink to wake us up to what is really important? I guess it is a human trait, this ability to forget the immediacy of the moment until ones eyes are forced open. It happens to all of us sooner or later and hopefully we learn from what we experience. Life is a teacher that can be cruelly generous with it's lessons....
i hope that time WILL reveal all the answers to your questions, but i'm not entirely sure that time alone can be credited with such critical learning. i AM more certain that because you look so deeply and linger there longer, YOU will eventually find enough to give form and meaning to both the answerable and the unanswerable.
it appears that you are making your way thru the minefield of that which you very well may recover (rejoice!) and that to which you must continue accommodate yourselves ... a delicate balance that requires consummate skill, faith, trust, coordination of mind and heart, and -- time.
sendng all my best wishes,
roberta
Sharyn,
Life can take many turns for all of us. For every door that shuts, another one opens...The strength you have and have given to your boys will get you all there. Try to remember that for sure! An old expression is you learn a lot more from listening than you do from talking...So shut up already... Just when you thought I was going to go a whole paragraph without needling you! Oh well!
Seriously though look where you were and now where you are... You and your boy's infectious smiles do wonders for us all!
Kevin
I am moved not only by the rippling affect that Caleb’s injury has had on you all but also your grace in deliberate determination in moving forward. Becoming aware of how you pump the top and are watching it and adapting the speed to keep it from toppling does draw from a different place than just keeping it going at full speed. I am also glad to hear that you are participating in grief counseling, another wise and positive forward movement.
I have long been a believer in the healing benefits of trying to be in sync with the rhythms of nature. When I am absolutely frazzled it is in nature that I seek peace and order. Whether it be in the woods or on the river or at the ocean, I find my thoughts adapting to the speed of what is around me and my awareness of the smallest of changes becomes more acute. Caleb has worked so much with the rhythms of the sea so I expect that this is a natural and intuitive healing pattern for him.
If Caleb’s injury bestows on you to the opportunity of becoming more connected with those subtle changes that ripple beyond noticing the actions of the birds, then a blessing has been granted you out of all the pain.
I will add to my list of a few days ago that Caleb continues to heal and become one with the healing power of nature and of the spirit around us.
To my own list I will add that I will continue to learn from your experiences and from your sharing and from the wisdom shared by so many others that I know only by screen name and hope at sometime to meet..
Hey Sharyn
You can sing along......
Slow down, you move too fast
You got to make the morning last
Just kicking down the cobblestones
Looking for fun and feeling groovy
Ba da da da da da da, feeling groovy...
I got no deeds to do
No promises to keep
I'm dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep
Let the morning time drop all its petals on me
Life I love you, all is groovy
xoxox kolleen
Dear Sharyn -
I wrote many, many months ago about my husband who died very suddenly in front of my daughter and me in our brand new house in Wellfleet. At the time, I said I believed no one can know the meaning of traumatic events, but I believe those meanings reveal themselves over time. I'm not sure that you've reached that point of understanding yet (and quite frankly, I'm not sure 7 years later I have either!), but I adore the mindfulness in which you conduct your days. I've learned that mindfulness, meditation and contemplation are the only ways to discover the knowing, which is evolving and ever-changing.
I have read each and every post since Caleb's accident nearly a year ago. I never imagined when I posted all that time ago the twist your family's life would take. I think of you often. I no longer worry about you and your family though. You are an incredible woman with amazing depth and understanding of this life. I admire you, even never having met you.
As my family and I look forward ecstatically to our summer in Wellfleet, I hope I bump in to you some day on Main Street. I may not say hello, but I will be happy to see you and to be in your presence.
Best of sunny summer wishes to all of you!
MYG in Lexington
Sharyn,
Whether you believe it or not you’re a ROCK STAR! I think if I saw you walking down the street I would be as nervous to meet you as I would a famous person.
Your strength, humor, and intelligence are inspiring to me and everyone else that reads this blog. The Lindsey/Potter family is going to have a great summer!
J
Sharyn, Just want you to know you and your family are still in my thoughts and prayers! Becky from Florida
Dear Sharyn and the boys,
My wishes for Caleb are that he continue to get stronger,that he is able to keep his wonderful sense of humor which seems to be everlasting according to those who spend time around him regularly.And,very importantly,that he will be able at some point in time have his independence and live a long and healthy life. I also wish and hope very sincerely that you,Sharyn and Kai and Max are relieved of some of the burden which "worry" brings about. All in good time---I feel it.
My best wishes and love,
Penny
Dear Sharyn,
I know this may sound strange from someone who has yet to meet you, but I think of your descriptions of small, beautiful, quiet moments all the time, especially when life is really busy or stress-filled (like the end of a school year). I am comforted by the images you share and often think it would be great to be your neighbor or someone who gets to you on a day-to-day basis. Once in a while I have a dream that I've met all of you or we are somewhere on the Cape together, and I think this reaches my dreams because I'm so moved by what you share with us. My wish is for the small, beautiful moments to fill your story and take over your time.
I'm hoping to meet many of the blog's voices and faces this July -- it will be a samll, beautiful moment for me. Take care, Lisa K.
As is So Often the Case,
Easier Said Than Done:
took a huge hit yesterday and find it very difficult to hear the voice inside that speaks to riding a fresh wave of breath-taking grief and remaining still til the water is again calm.
the mind knows of the balance of mind and spirit...and time... but the heart knowns no such reasoning.
aware today of the extraordinary richness of life, and the sometimes enormous price for loving.
Yes, but the price for not loving is beyond enormous.
Dear Susanna,
I couldnt agree more.
Roberta
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