Perhaps Amy would like to let us know how she is...we too are thinking about you.
I had a phone conversation with my friend Shelly yesterday--- we spoke at length about how difficult it is to reach out to those who know you well at times like these.... she assures me that this phenomenon is reciprocal .... it is difficult to find the words to say and just easier to be still. I found could open up to her because I was on the phone and could not see her eyes-- always the eyes that are luminous with truth.
As I look into the eyes of various people around town I see the searching, the pleading, the
wanting for me .. those eyes are most difficult to look into when they are fixed on a friend who knows me well .. because those eyes remember a time that was before .. a time I myself want to return to and cannot , and I observe in them the longing and the pain.
It is with our eyes that we scrutinize, inspect, detect, discern.... want and love.
As Caleb heals, he is more often that not bothered by the loss of his eye. We re-assure, we placate, we try to convince.
Now I am more aware of eyes than I ever cared to be ... look into the eyes looking back at you - so beautiful ... and they do hold the soul in them ... you can peer deeply inside if you choose.
With Caleb - I m convinced that even before, he was able to see into the souls of people ..... it was, I believe, why he was compelled to be kind to everyone. He could climb down inside of people through their eyes.
Now he has a vision which is more direct, fine tuned and his force is greater..
I tell him that blind people often see more clearly than do we!
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56 comments:
I am in awe of your strength.
J
Sharyn,
"The eyes are the window to our soul" is what you have basically said here... An old proverb of sort that I think is so true! I for one much prefer to see the person I'm speaking to than not. However, I understand your concern for that...Let me get on my soap box here and say I think it is better to communicate as well as possible than not. Better out than in heals all is my jist. That Caleb vocalizes his concerns I think is great! He gets it "out" of his system. We can all learn something from our children...
Kevin
sharyn, again your words provide me with deep insight, i feel the same way about looking into someones eyes, and sometimes it is easier to open up on the phone. i did alot of that this wekeend.
caleb has made great strides and i am so proud to be part of your blog and your life. i do not know caleb, yet, but cannot wait to meet him.
to the whole cyber family-
THANK YOU SO MUCH!
when i wrote the other day i never expected anyone to even read my words and i was so overwhelmed with the replies. you made me think, you made me cry, you made me feel so grateful for each and every one of you.
this past weekend sucked beyond belief but i made it thru. i did mountains of soul searching, eating very little since last wednesday, i have lost about 6 lbs. sleeping very little as well.
but i am in a much better place today. i feel confident in who i am and i feel confident that i will find happiness again, whether it is with the same person again down the road or not, i now know that there are wonderful things out there for me if i just open my eyes and my heart to them, they will come.
thank you to everyone who wrote to me and cared what i was feeling. this is probably the lowest i have ever felt in my 42 years and i have been thru some pretty bad stuff previous to this. this incident on wednesday ripped my heart out and ran it over with a mack truck.
after lots of journaling and LOTS of sobbing.... i am better today than i was yesterday and i will be better tomorrow as well.
your words insprired me, your prayers and thoughts made me feel not alone in this world... lonely is the worst feeling for me, it is what makes me most sad.
so thank you for everything.
and a word to lisa k, if you are picking up CT bloggers, i am in windsor, dont forget me!
BIG LOVE, HUGE PRAYERS, AND PEACE to all of you this crisp monday morning
amy in ct
Amy,
I am so glad that you are doing better. I am sure there will be highs and lows ahead, but as with Caleb and Sharyn, eventually the highs will far exceed the lows.
By the way, I am just up the road from you, right over the MA line in Longmeadow.
Sharyn and Caleb,
I have always said the first thing I look at when meeting someone is their eyes. If someone avoids my eyes, it is harder to trust him or her. And I know that when I want to avoid someone's gaze, it is because I am not comfortable having them see into my soul.
So losing an eye must be incredibly upsetting. But we had a dog once who was blind in one eye, and he ran like any other dog, wild and fast through the thickest woods. Caleb, you also will be running fast and wild with your one good eye.
Amy from western MA
Ms. Sharyn, fear not for your Caleb. He shall not lose that quality. He can still see with one eye. And now, or in time, I'll wager he can hear more than he ever heard before. I write this from experience. One of eyes was cut many years ago. I can see out of it with a special contact lens, but everything is blurry and that is the best it will ever be. But my ears... I hear more than I would like to sometimes. It is true, when one sense is lessened or lost, the others will compensate for the loss and become stronger.
So I truly believe he will learn to live with his loss and become even stronger in other ways because of it.
Godspeed Ms. Sharyn
Hey Sharyn,
like i said, even though I haven't written in lately I still am checking in via blog all the time. GREAT to see you yesterday. speaking of eyes, now you see why i really should be wearing my glasses more often....also, the sunglasses are not only an excellent look but as you well know, excellent for adding just a little layer of protection when out in public. i myself really like the occasional mardi gras mask since you get to cover up with sequins and feathers at the same time. xxx kathy
Amy,
I am so glad you are doing better today. I know it sounds corny, but, take it one day at a time. As you found out, we are all here for you. I think our little cyber family is pretty cool. I feel honored to be a part of it. Thank you once again Sharyn for allowing all of us to share your world. You are an amazing woman. Be well
Lisa in Pa.
Hey lady..
In Mayan culture (and many others I am sure) a lazy eye, crossed eyes, or one missing is a blessing, and very much indicates one being able to look into peoples souls, the future, and people with this are usually shamans, healers, and very powerful, something that Lebsta has always kinda had. While I know it must be a hard thing to embrace, he is accepting of all of this, which is really incredible.
Know I love you.. xo.. Clance
I love you Potter/Lindsay clan. You are all extremely beautiful people.
resilience -- the gift of youth.
And as spectacularly difficult as it is for the Mother Lion to do, she gains by following the lead of her Cub.
How wonderful Caleb can express that he is upset by the loss of his eye.He has come so far, so quickly. Soon it will be warm and Caleb and his trusty mates can get back to exploring their world.
hey Amy from western ma,
I grew up in Longmeadow. Small world of course. Are you from "the ghetto" or just moved in???
settie
Ok - this is progress.
That Caleb lost the sight in his eye - terribly sad. That Caleb is now dealing with it and angry about it - or sad about it - PROGRESS - very, very healthy progress.
He WILL still be able to see into one's soul - that trait will never dull...if anything, it will sharpen.
He will "see" more clearly - I promise.
Nancy in NY
Dear Sharyn, My husband and I were vacationing on Cape Cod this past summer and saw signs all along Rt 6and in Wellfleet asking people to pary for Caleb. We soon learned of the accident on 7/4 and I have been keeping tabs on your blog ever since. Hearing of the horrible accident brought me back to my own family's days at MGH 18 years ago when my younger brother was in a serious car accident, had emergency brain surgery and was in a coma for a few weeks. I still recall standing there feeling like I was watching a movie or else that this is the type of thing you hear about happening to a "friend of a friend's family" etc. Even though I am a stranger to you I keep you all in my daily prayers. I am amazed at how you all persevere and the strength you give to one another when you each have your moments of needing a little extra. Working now at Brigham and Women's Hospital, I know how fortunate we were that my brother was taken to MGH - a fabulous hospital. Spaulding and RHCI are also top notch facilities with talented staff. I will keep you all in my prayers and continue to wish you all the best in the future. With lots of postitive vibes coming your way. Ellen in Melrose, MA
Amy in CT,
Life is a like a train ride, and it seems that you got dumped in a place of great pain this past week. But you do not have to stay there..in all that pain. You can put your self first and decide to get back on the train and let it take you to a better place (and if you don't like the next stop, go on to a place where you want to be.) You have the power. My very best wishes, Gail
Sharyn,
I am so sorry about the loss of Caleb's eye; but from everything I've learned about this young man, I don't think it will ever affect his "vision". He sees more clearly than all of us and he has his sight set on the goal of healing. As you've mentioned before, there are always cosmetic transformations; but he still looks adorable to me.
Peace to you all.
Jackie
gail
i like your idea of the train and gettin back on. i am just not ready for that yet, i am going thru the stages of greif and i am deeply engaged in the depression/painful feelings of loss right now. never thought my heart would 'actually' ache, but it does.
but i look forward to the acceptance days when i can board the train again and go someplace better.
thanks again everyone for your words, they continue to help.
thinking of you caleb, hoping you are doing something fun today like bowling or rowing... my visiion in my head of this makes me smile.
keep up the good work.
prayers and peace to everyone this day
amy in ct
I was thinking this morning about Caleb's "anger" over his loss of eye and it struck me that I think this is actually a healthy place for him to be right now with the deck he was dealt. After anger will be acceptance and with what he has proven already - I believe he will "accept". To Amy - an actual "aching" heart is possible (I know from experience), but have FAITH and let God have his Will. Somehow / someday I believe that whatever you are going through will take you to a bigger and better place (if that makes sense). I've been trying to do the same in my life and it actually works, I pray and meditated A LOT! It works!
Sharyn,
Thanks for being so openly real, so human and so you... Your beauty from the inside out and outside in is vibrant through the lines and in between. I love you my dear. Hope Caleb is able to verbally process through some grieving about his eye with you or even with an outside pro who has worked with many others on moving through grieving as well as there is some pretty standard stages that I guess go along with grief...I am wondering if there is a way to incorporate a healing and reduced confusion about his eye through another medium than purely talking like maybe collaging or any art or...other...?
I do eye excersises every morning, this may sound wierd but I feel like it keeps my perspective on life broad (and also helps ward off that scratchy tiredness that comes with computer work time :). Maybe you are already working with someone to strenghten Caleb's good eye. It always seems to me in life when I put intention towards the thing that is working then my focus on the thing which is frustrating me experiences a shift. Wondering if eye excersises or healing, calming things for the good eye would help alleviate some of the stress for Caleb about loss of the other eye...these are just my wonderings, they may not fit at all and in that case please ditch 'em but just know that I am thinking of you both with love and sweetness.
and Amy really glad to see you are coming thru the other side of the darkness. Keep reaching out in your life...the dark is where the learning happens so that we can walk strong and wiser when we are in light.
Hugs,
Jenny H.
Sharyn:
As many have already said, it is good that Caleb is articulating his grief for his lost eye. Even though his grief is painful to you, talking is healthy.
My twenty-something son has a degenerative eye disease, diagnosed when he was barely a teenager. His vision in one eye is minimal, and hanging over his head each day is the possibility that the disease might manifest itself in the healthy eye. He has never truly opened up to me or my husband about his fears of possible blindness, and it's painful to me that he doesn't talk to us about it. I only hope that he does speak to his friends of his concerns, because holding fears/concerns inside magnifies them.
Healing hugs to all, and especially to Amy in CT.
NY/Wellfleet Mom
Settie,
I have lived in Longmeadow since 1983 (grew up in NY), raised my kids here, and now am an "empty nester" here, trying to spend as much time in Wellfleet as we can! When did you live in town and where?
Amy from western MA (Longmeadow!)
Amy,
since I was two. Graduated Longmeadow Highschool in 1984 and lived on Greenacre across from baypath.
settie
Sharyn and Caleb- My brother lost the sight in one eye in his youth- I the younger sister never was aware of why he spilled his milk at almost every dinner or why one eye wandered. One day I asked him - why his eyes were different and I heard the story of his loss, multiple operations, the struggle to learn how to walk without bumping into walls, etc. At the time we finally talked about this he was a senior in high school, a pitcher on the baseball team and was able to drive a car with the help of mirrors to see where his eye couldn't. How promising to be so present with this loss- sending light to you, Amy and all who struggle with loss. am
Big hugs potter family
love uncle judith, nicole, and caleb
Hi all,
I love the "small world" feel as we find all the more connections with each other. Amy, I'm so happy to know you are in Windsor; I am in Wethersfield, and like to visualize my positive energy for you zipping up Rt. 91N to Windsor -- I'll bet we are no more than 20 minutes apart. Know I am thinking of you and hope you eat something, girl! (As a 40 year-old I get to call you "girl" :)). If I make my Cape Cod journey to Wellfleet, you'd be most welcome on the ride (we are close to Longmeadow too!).
I agree with Sharyn and others that sometimes it is easier to talk on the phone with old friends, or perhaps blog with newer ones. Our oldest friends "see" our history and our inner core, and of course their deep love for us colors how they see us at a given moment. New friends remind us there are multiple ways to "see" the same picture, just as Caleb reminds us to "see" what we have with gratitude, courage and light. I'm so glad I've seen what all of us have shared so far, and look forward to more of the ride. Take care everyone, Lisa K.
Sharyn, Caleb, Kai & Max. I am truly deeply sorry to hear of your loss. If i didnt know you all were busy this minute id be over there to give you great big hugs and much love. Your family has gone through so many hardships this last year and i feel for you all. He was a GREAT man and i will truly miss seeing him at work. Much love to you all and hopefully i will see you all soon for those hugs.
-Arozana
I haven't posted in awhile, but like many I've been following everyone's journeys. Amy, I'm also sending my positive thoughts north up 9 and 91 from my location in Madison (not on the water though that would be nice!). I was thinking of you over the week-end, thinking it might do you well to venture down to Hammonassett to see the osprey and feel the wind against your face. Check out the osprey cam at Connecticut Audubon website. http://67.86.143.68:81/view/index.shtml. When I'm going a little crazy, I check in on the nest to see what's new! Anyway, I too have been thinking of Caleb's journey and challenges and progress, and Sharyn's, and appreciating the words of Jeff-in-the-Berkshires (drove up to Great Barrington a few Fridays ago through the back CT roads and had great sour dough pizza there...the Berkshires are really God's country...that few hours rejuvenated me fully)and also thinking of Peg in PA, and like many, though I don't post much, you are all in my thoughts and prayers as Spring begins. Be well all.
Mom in CT
Oh my gosh, what has happened?? We will be thinking of you, Potter family. It sounds like you are facing another challenge. We are all with you, as always.
Wishing you all some peace in this moment of extreme sorrow. Although I don't know the hows or whys, and I'm not sure there ever will be definitive answers, I know that you'll all manage to get through this, as you've gotten through every other hurdle life has thrown at you. My prayers are with you all.
Allison
Hey,
I really didn't expect to be posting again so soon, but how else to reach you, how else to reach my arms around you from across town?
xxx Kathy
I am with you, Gail
The eye of the soul sees what is all around and not just what is in front of it, it sees down deep, sees what is constant and what is true. The eye of the soul is not distracted by awkwardness, or what is irrelevant. When its vision is clear the eye of the soul reveals the core of what is important and what is beautiful. It sees calm in the midst of chaos, it sees through the fog and sees what can be. For those who can truly see, the eye of the soul can not be blinded.
From all that I have heard of Caleb from family and friends, he can truly see.
As I hear of Caleb’s sorrow, I grieve for him, for his loss. This walk is one he has to make on his own at his own pace and come to a place of peace. I send messages of support for his journey.
There are no words, only sadness on this April night.
We hold you all in our hearts-
Audrey and Greg
Sharyn and family- We are so sorry for your loss. Mikey, Kim and I are here with love and light sent your way. Peace, Love, Ann m.
Sharyn, Kai, Caleb and Max and Jan's parents and sisters and Sarah. I know most people in town can't even begin to express the sorrow that we all feel today at this time. Allison expressed it for us with her wish for peace for your family. May prayers are with you all as well.
May God be with you Potter Family. You will be STRONG in my prayers tonight when I lay quietly in my bed. I wish that there was something that I could do.
Sharyn, Caleb, Kai and Max,
Prayers and love. Continuous prayers and love. Please remember you are not alone. Prayers and love are coming your way, from all the corners of the world. My neighbor has prayer flags on her fence, so they blow in the wind and scatter her prayers to all the corners of the earth. Those prayers are coming your way, from all the corners of the earth. Prayers and love.
Joan B.
Candles lit, and prayers on the wind,
we love you all more than words can express or fill this page. May God/angels be with you family of Jan, Sarah, Potter boys, Jennie, & Sharyn.
Can someone here who knows tell us out of towners what happened? I am inferring from the last comment that something has happened to Jan. Please let us know.
Settie---WE LIVE ON GREENACRE AVENUE!!! What number? We are 85.
You must have graduated from high school the year we moved to town.
The small world gets smaller...
My thoughts are with Sharyn and her family. Obviously something awful has happened. Please let us know.
Amy from western MA
there are no words that convey the depth of my sorrow for all of you...i can only hope that jan is at peace and his family will hold together and share memories...i can only imagine what this must be doing to kai and max who have borne so much this past year...and sarah who loved him so...
Jan took his own life today in Wellfleet on the beach.
Does anyone know the present condition of Jan?
Oh, my God---how awful. I cannot find the words to express my deep, deep sorrow. Without even knowing this man, my heart just breaks for him and for his family.
May you all find strength in each other and in knowing how we are all aching for you and with you.
Amy from western MA
Sharyn, Kai, Max, Caleb....Words can not express how we all have felt today. Wellfleet was darkend by black clouds morning Jan. What a tragedy. He will be GREATLY missed.
I have found over time that I have been somewhat desensatized to pain and sorrow...However, today, my heart felt like it had dropped into my chest and was determined to sit there until further notice.
Jan was such a phenominal man, and a wonderful Father who was loved by so many, that we have just all been questioning ourselves today as to what went wrong??!!!
I truely hope that you all get some answers....
Until then, we will continue to PRAY for all of you.
May God keep watch!
Please remember that there are so many people here to love and support you all, and please don't forget to reach out to each and every one of us as needed.
~Nicole Miner.
I laugh.
I love.
I hope.
I try.
I hurt.
I need.
I fear.
I cry.
Let the love in.
kolleen
Potter Boys, Sharyn, Sarah, Jan's family and all of the many who loved him,
My heart is heavy with the news of Jan's passing. Jan was a kind and effervescent man. He gave a helping hand and much good will to everyone. May you find solace and much love and support during this sad and troubling time.
Bev from Vermont
I read in the Times that he was taken to the hospital - did he not survive the attempt? I'm so aching for the Potter Boys and Sarah.
For Sharyn and your beautiful boys,
Deep peace of the running wave to you
Deep peace of the flowing air to you
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you
Deep peace of the shining stars to you
Deep peace of the gentle night to you
Moon and stars pour their healing light on you
Deep peace to you
--A Gaelic Blessing
-we hold you in our hearts,
darby and mark
I hold you all in my heart.
Please know that you are loved.
Susan
After following all the trials your family has been through since last July and now Jan, I can only say that all together you remain a continued force of strength to everyone who touches you. How small our personal problems seem, how petty our grievances, how minor our daily endurances are when we stand next to you and think about all you have faced with so much courage and determination. Please take back from all of us the strength and fortitude you have spread around over the past several months and use it to get through this latest terrible challenge. It seems so unfair that life has dealt you yet another blow and we are feeling your pain along with you. When you think there is nothing left in you to draw on, remember your extended family is here to help and support you with every word, touch, or vibration we can send your way. Love and compassion for all of you . . .
i am sending all of my love and prayers to the potter family...
I am stunned, confused...angry...and painfully sad. I pray for you and your boys, Sharon..and for his family.
I pray for your boys...
those boys...My God.
Sharyn, Caleb, Kai and Max and all who loved Jan,
My Deepest sympathy to you all. What more can be said.
You continue to be held closely in my thoughts.
Sharyn, our hearts and thoughts are with you and your boys, with our hopes that you find peace.
Eric's Mom & Dad
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