On the fourth of July, 2007 Caleb Potter was involved in a skateboarding accident.
He suffered serious injuries and continues to need all of our positive thoughts and prayers.
This blog is to serve as a space for updates on Caleb's journey of recovery.

Friday, March 28, 2008

voices in the night

Caleb keeps amazing us with his propensity to heal and to do it with his own signature flare. He is always up for whatever comes his way and moves through his day with dignity and delight. The therapists at RHCI have suggested that he move forward to another level of physical work as he cannot any longer be challenged by them.....so I am looking into the rock wall at the local gym ( Caleb used to climb) , and have signed us both up for pilates classes. We try to find challenges for him each day ---yesterday Max and I loaded the kayaks and sent him around Long Pond with Max beside him...... Spud and I running around the periphery of the pond, both of us panting trying to keep up.
He remains confused about his state and is sad about the loss of his eye..and has challenges which seem insurmountable at times...
We in the family are trying to concentrate on staying positive and moving forward and believing in Caleb and his determination to heal That pesky little voice still sneaks into my brain from time to time trying to coax me into depression and would have me curtsey to sorrow, but I am staying the course...Max remains always positive and Kai is in his deep well of contemplation, working things out in his own way. . Timmy is around always to keep us focused and laughing, and as always Jennie sees him each day.
Ethan, who lives with us, is around on weekends to add some relief.


Last evening as I lie awake listening to Caleb who was fidgeting well into the night, I ask into the darkness just what it was that I could do for him .......
"Wish me luck" was the tender voice that answered.

42 comments:

Anonymous said...

Caleb,
We wish you luck!!!!!
Jerry and the rest of the G's

Anonymous said...

Caleb,

I wish you luck, and peace, and joy, and strength, and continued healing. I wish you beautiful spring days, your skin warmed by the sun, your lungs filled with beautiful healthy ocean air.

-Audrey

Anonymous said...

Sharyn,

That's an awful lot of testosterone you've surrounded yourself with...I've missed seeing you at the gym, now I know why, you are so busy chasing after bikes, kayaks and climing rock walls, who needs the eliptical machine? Keep on keepin mumsie, you are doing an amazing job with not only your one boy, but with all of your "boys".

Stay strong,
Audrey

Anonymous said...

Peace be with you and to all....

Anonymous said...

you are strong and wonderful - as are your children and loving community around you. caleb has come an amazing distance as you have within your own heart it seems... think compassion and believe in him as you always have!!
you are an amazing woman and i hope i will be as resilient as you one day. your wisdom inspires me. there ain't a storm you can't weather, woman!
go caleb!!

Anonymous said...

You have your hand on the ouija board and Caleb is moving it. Follow his lead which is what is happening and see what you all can do! How can it not be hard to always think of what he CAN do and not of what he can't, but even with the confusion, Caleb seems to be moving ahead, leading you all on the journey. Welcome to Pilates, by the way--it is gentle and strong..

Anonymous said...

I wish you luck and love. Your writing is beautiful as always. Ali Manchester UK

Anonymous said...

caleb.... i wish you luck, and i know you already have so much of it. you have overcome so much and you are doing so well. i have every faith in the world in you.
sharyn.... your words again are beautiful. i thank you so much for your blog and for being part of this tribe.
peace be with EVERYONE this day, and every day.....
amy in ct

Anonymous said...

Amy in CT - still thinking of you and wishing you a good ride through your journey right now.

rosie said...

love you guys. See you soon. Spring is here!

Anonymous said...

Sharyn,

It breaks my heart to hear of Caleb's confusion and sadness over the loss of his eye....it brings home the severity of his accident and then I get so in touch with those dark voices that call to you sometimes - and that's when it's time to remember that with that severity comes the fact that we need to concentrate on rejoicing in the fact that he MADE IT - however changed, he is still here!!! The battle continues, the mourning for what has changed is still there - but he has fought SO hard to get to where he is today - and we are ALL so thankful that that guy has made it this far.....the road continues, and so does his strength and courage - and YOURS!!
Chins up towards spring - better things happen with the warmth of the sun and the ocean touching us...
Strength, love and luck heading your way from NY this Saturday morn.

Nancy

Anonymous said...

Sharyn,

Your posts lately have been so POSITIVE!!

Keep the good news coming....

I have told Timmy and Jeff I want to hook up for bowling with the crew...


Kevin

Anonymous said...

Hi Caleb,
I wish you luck-- and all of the best things in life!

Sharyn and crew,
I wish the same to you!
It sounds like a great place, this
home you all share in the Wellfleet woods.
blessings,
janet

Anonymous said...

You know in your heart of hearts that Caleb, you are one lucky man! and that Lady Luck rides upon your shoulder wherever you go -- so don't fret, keep up your courage and focus your INNER VISION on the prize -- use the healing power of the imagination to bring about the outcomes you want for your life. We all surround you with the love you need to stay the course. xxx Mama Anne

Anonymous said...

We are wishing you much luck Caleb. You have come so far and accomplished so much, you are amazing.
Reading your post on the blog was like a warm ray of spring sunshine. We'd love to read more from you.

Anonymous said...

Caleb,

I wish you luck as you continue to heal. Enjoy the beautiful weather and the support from your family and friends.

Peggy from Western MA

Lesa said...

With those words the tender voice in the night who answered your query with "Wish me luck," implied so much more. Hope and confidence are blanketed in such a declaration as is a further letting go. It's amazing to me how you check yourself in terms of how much to cling and how much to try to let go. What a precarious balance.
Lesa

Anonymous said...

oh my gosh sharyn, i just have to say i love that caleb!

Jeff- in the Berkshires said...

Caleb, I too wish you much luck, where luck can help - though you are where you are now much because of your great inner strength and because you are meant to be here.

I wish you great peace for those times of doubt and sorrow.

I wish you healing, for those neurons are still laying new track.

Sharyn & Spud, I wish rest for you and the energy to keep up with Caleb.

To all I wish bright sunshine to chase away the shadows in the dark.

susan in portsmouth said...

Your post brought me to this remarkable letter that I received from a friend not too long ago -

"From discussions about gambling and gamblers, people's take on "luck" is not that varied.
They believe it exists, or they don't.

For the believers, evidence of it's existence is a common occurence. A person returning from Vegas with more money than they had prior to the trip is said to be "lucky".

Non-believers can't comprehend the notion that their circumstance isn't deserved or paid for through their own effort.
They will say "luck" is only the "meeting of preparation & opportunity"
As for "bad luck", they will search for a reason why they've brought it upon themselves.

I came across only one idea about luck that is not so simplistic, and perhaps no more valid. It equates luck to shimmering. Of course the object that shimmers cannot see itself. In addition, it only
appears to be shimmering from certain vantage points. As subtly as it appears to any viewer, it disappears in turn to someone else, and on and on."

Caleb, you are positively shimmering (even though you can't see it) and when we need it, when it's our turn to share, we can catch a glimpse. Peg has seen it, and Amy in CT, too. I feel privileged to catch an occasional shimmer out of the corner of my heart's eye and know that Sharyn can see it clearly in her moonlit backyard or radiating off her bicycling boy like heat waves off the summer blacktop. I change my mind about whether I believe in "luck" or not quite frequently, but I certainly believe in the shimmer.

I wish you all things good -
Strength and love and patience and growth and continued healing...
and as much radiant shimmering as you can stand!

Susan

Anonymous said...

All the activities you're doing together sounds like fun!

Anonymous said...

Hay - Lots of us like bowling so how about a fun (fund) raising bowling party, if the owners would let out the alleys for a late Saturday or Sunday afternoon? For a set donation, we could get shoes and bowl three strings. ANY TAKERS? Low bowler would get a booby prize!! A walk off the plank or something!!!! FUN FUN FUN

Anonymous said...

Sharyn,
I remember when I first got the call about Caleb's accident. It seemed so impossible then that you would be writng about your boy out on Long Pond again. Yet there he is.

When you're so close to it, the changes may seem small, but out here, they sound monumental.

His eye may never be back, but his brain is working hard to repattern. As long as you see progress, more progess is possible. Each step he takes, each time he's out there moving his body, he's supporting his body's inner Healer.

Watching this from afar is a reaffirmation of the power of love.

Anonymous said...

I feel so lucky to be part of this journey, part of the outer wave of love, energy and strength that I hope reaches your shores each day. I wish all of you luck, peace and gratitude, as so many others have stated as well. More importantly, on the days when luck leaves for a while, I wish you all an awareness of your own guts and courage, a fierce ability to shout down the scary times and then yell out strong again when luck returns.

I wish there didn't have to be moments of sadness or confusion, but I know you have what it takes to weather these challenges.

I will feel lucky the day I get to meet all of you in person. Some days I imagine just getting in my car, maybe picking up a few other CT bloggers, and then just heading straight to the bowling alley or the Spirit Shoppe to hook up with all the cool local people I want to see. In real life, of course, I'd give plenty of warning, but it is a comforting thought on days when I want to have an escape of some kind :). With a little luck, I know we'll make it happen for real. -- Lisa K.

Anonymous said...

They say you are only lucky in love and in horseshoes. I know you have love so let the luck of
horseshoes dance in yours......

Anonymous said...

Spring is here, which brings us one season closer to the Cape! Just wanted to let you know we're thinking of you here in NYC
- Sam G & boys

Anonymous said...

The passing of time when you are in the thick of it, seems so slow, and progress impossible to see or too long in coming....but from our vantage point, you have all made astounding strides. There is still long road ahead, and that is where that pesky little voice comes from....looking back, however, can put everything in perspective sometimes. Six months ago did you ever think you'd be chasing around a pond watching Caleb paddle? Or plan a wall climb or gym dates together? There is still plenty of forward motion happening, which is where the positive energy comes in.
I am in awe of how far you have come, Caleb, Sharyn and all the rest of you who are helping him.
Luck, smuck....you have intentional positivity on your side, along with the courage and will to keep it going. We are right behind you, and right beside you when you need us.
Amy, that goes for you too, I hope yuou feel us walking the path with you.That is what a family does.
As always, with hope,
peg from PA

Anonymous said...

Caleb, Sharyn and family,
We all wish you luck, but you have so much more than that going for you. You have determination, courage, the support of all of us and best of all--each other. Take time to appreciate how far you've come. It's truly amazing.
Amy, we're all holding you in our prayers too. This really is quite a family here and as strange as it sounds, I've come to care about all of you. Pretty powerful when you realize what can be accomplished together. Peace to you all.
Jackie

becky said...

You are still in my prayers. Stay as positive as possible. Take security in the "cocoon" of the home you have built. Let the negative thoughts just TRY to knock at your door. As an outsider it is much easier to look "in" and see what a miracle healer Caleb has shown himself to be in 9 months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Spring is here and I'm one an upswing of my "journey" and have some extra positive energy I will send your way!

Anonymous said...

Climbing and kayaking. I love that guy! What a support system in place to keep Caleb moving forward. You guys are the best!!!

Anonymous said...

Sharyn,
You have so much more than luck on your side........you have us...LOL....we will always be here, for you, Caleb and the family (our family) you guys have become so much a part of my life..I only wish I had as much support as you. Please know we are all here, when you need us.....I have grown to love you all even tho we have never met. That day will come.........thoughts and prayers remain constant.
Sleep well, tomorrow the sun will shine again, on all of us..
Lisa in Pa

Anonymous said...

Caleb- Wishing you and yours light along your path- we are here. There is no doubt that I have been helped and who knows how many others you are helping by sharing this journey. It has been incredible how far you've come....the possibilities are limitless. You are Patience / staying present with love and joy. I honor the healing power we have been blessed to witness and send love to all. peace ann m

Anonymous said...

the best place for caleb is on the flats. it's who he is, it's what he knows...even now.

Anonymous said...

Well,after reading these blogs I find myself analyzing the word "Luck" and at the risk of boring you all I will venture to say that "Luck" is some thing that happens unexpectedly good or bad. So needless-to-say we will stay on the positive side and wish all that there is in "GOOD LUCK" to Caleb and his marvelous family and friends.

So with happy and good thoughts I wish that the coming spring will bring about all the wonderous new growths in as many ways possible:earth,body,soul and spirit.

I long to breath that Wellfleet air.

Penny on St.John

Anonymous said...

It is Sunday March 30th and I am a bit behind the times here.

To Amy in Ct.--

I am truly sorry that you are having a rough time right now. That feeling of the bottom dropping out is one of almost total dispair. It is a shock but the shock will wear off in time and you will get stronger and be able to cope,amazing as it seems. Someone said to me once that we are not given more than we can handle although at the time it doesn't seem so. You are in my prayers and I hope that all levels out very soon.

Peace and love,
Penny on St.John

Anonymous said...

Please overlook my spelling error.

P on stj

Anonymous said...

Caleb and Sharyn,

I am visualizing your trip around Long Pond, both on water and on land. Having rowed myself around the pond, I know it takes a lot of energy. Good for you both.

As others have said, I believe that the more Caleb gets to do all the things he did before the accident, the more it will help reconnect the memories and patterns in his brain.

With luck and love,
Amy in western MA

Anonymous said...

Nice One. I can just visualize Leb and Max gliding along the open pond water...peacefully enjoying a quiet Spring day together. Makes me smile to know life is continuing to stay very positive! Sending my love to the crew.

Lily

Anonymous said...

You are a breathtakingly courageous family, Lindsay/Potters. I wish you much more than luck. I wish you peace, strength, happiness, & healing. And warmer days for future kayaking expeditions...it's coooold in Wellfleet!


Amy in CT: I'm thinking of you, and sending positive thoughts your way.

NY/Wellfleet Mom

Anonymous said...

I think of all of you a lot of the time especially as I keep dealing with my own health issues; docters appointments, procedures, and an inevitable surgery. All of which I will keep dealing with like I always have. But I must confess after 23 years it still doesn't get that much easier to handle..but the surgery I have to have in the next two months has to happen even if I would rather spend my May and June having fun, swimming, and dancing. But enough about that for now.
I feel that of course Caleb is confused he is still building the bridges and connecting the wires. I imagine it is like when you have something you want to say and then it quickly slips out before you have the chance to notice and then you are left with a murky image of what you wanted to say knowing all the while it was important at the time and now the more you try to remember the farther away it gets, and then most of the time you are forced to forget it so you don't get upset even though later when it is the last thing on your mind it pops back in.
I believe the bridges are building slowly and steadily, and then once again he will be able to drive through anything on any bridge he can imagine. Posativety, love, and hope is the most important part of any recovery, physically, mentally, and emotionally.
It is only natural that as his mind continues becoming clearer for him to begin understanding and mourning the loss of his eye I believe it is a step in the right direction as long as he can grow and learn from it. I think that by expressing his loss for his missing eye/vision will help him to keep recovering. How can one not greave over the loss of some part of your body or senses? It is only natural.
I am so happy to hear and read that he needs more challenges that he is coming around and he is still that amazing man we all love and pray for.
You are all doing a fabulous job the Potter/Lindsay clan; I am so proud of the kind of people you all are because you all give that dose of "real" hope, you are real people who are amazing human beings for what you have done, are doing, and have yet to do.
Sharyn I dream a lot of what I think could be events that will happen do to the details..I wish to share one I had not long ago and keep having often because it is always so full of fun and joy that aura you fleetians are so well known for. I will share this certain dream because I think it falls into the timing of what you are going through.
I dream of us slinging back a few beers as the pallettes burn...I hear laughter and a snap as a hot ember flies out of the pile of flames some one quickly snuffs it out on the ground... some one and a dog walks down the road towards the crowd that is standing arouund the roaring blaze.
The boys are there laughing telling jokes and poking fun at each other, it is like any other night except Caleb's laughter carries a sense of beauty as it hangs in the air above the chatter. I laugh with Jenni as I compliment her on her earings they are beautiful I can see the white pearlesent swirls throughout the different shdes of blue as it shines in the fire light (what makes it such beautiful jewelry is that it accents her beauty instead of distracting you from it). The feel of the night is warm, the breeze lifts the heat from our bodies for a mere moment before it settles back on everyone. Some one is climbing a tree like a monkey and there is just such pleasure and comfort as I watch this night unfold.
I end up talking to Caleb as the night starts to dwindle to the wasted and the more intamate crew of friends, he talks of how his senses have changed to compensate for his vision being cut in half, he says that all your senses become more aware to help keep you in balance. He makes me smile and I can feel a warmth of hope when he tells me how glad he is that he can see the beauty in this world, the crisp moon in the sky, the sunsets, the flowers, the waves, Cape Cod in general. That he was sad that he had to loose something and/or anything but that atleast he only lost one eye, and not two, and not his life!!
I bubble with joy as we are all deep in conversation everyone telling stories to the circle of people with their faces all aglow by the same flickering dancing flames. I hear a drum beating and it begins to make my mind a bit cloudy as I try to keep focussing on this wonderful vision then more laughter rings in my ears as I wake to the sun in my eyes. I swear if I close my eyes and breath I can smell the smoke that has embedded itself in my clothes and hair.
I wish a lot of times that you could dream or see some of the dreams I have because they are truly beautiful, warm, and loving just like all of you.
I pray for Caleb anytime he comes to mind and all of you, when I try to go to sleep at night I send love and comfort with the hope that when you (Sharyn especially) lay in your bed and try to dream that you feel arms around you...holding you so you may feel not alone and loved as much as all of you deserve to be.
Thank you so much for taking the time out to blog such amazing blogs they mean the world to so many people. And I love how Caleb wrote on the blog too, what a man!! Strength and well wishes straight from me to you.
Lots of hugs and kisses
Love Rachael
P.s. Sorry if its long and or shifty I have not been sleeping very well so why not write the things I wish to tell you all instead!?!

Anonymous said...

Bowling fundraiser sounds fun and great idea so give more info or if more people show an interest or if you want to talk out details I would love to help as much as I can. So glad you are all doing well, keep up the exciting physical activities. Lots of love your way. I think there is some luck in there and a strong determined man and family as well. Can't wait to meet you all!!!!
Yahoo July 4th week!

Anonymous said...

Bowling fundraiser sounds fun and great idea so give more info or if more people show an interest or if you want to talk out details I would love to help as much as I can. So glad you are all doing well, keep up the exciting physical activities. Lots of love your way. I think there is some luck in there and a strong determined man and family as well. Can't wait to meet you all!!!!
Yahoo July 4th week!