I ran into my negativity at The Marketplace the other day - that is what my good friend El would claim always happens in a small town. This bumping up against pain is a constant reminder of how very important it is to right the wrong.
Since Caleb's accident, I have found it all so important to start picturing the opposite of what I have been dwelling on, the flip side, the mirrored image. It has been his gift to me.
Betrayal is such an ugly word, one that corsets you to another till the strings tighten and twist, strangling both of you like a couple of bad ass snakes who won't give up till they both perish. I have been one of those snakes. The particulars are not what's important- the story of now - is! When I am able to stand back and scutinize this situation, I realize that the people in your life who seemingly give you the hardest times are your guides in growth and they are to be thanked and blessed. It does not mean that you have to like what they did, but you must accept that the two of you created the situation together- and together is how you will stay until one of you lets loose of the grip, un-coils and forgives.
My story has the same title that so many others have..the headline does not very much....what you choose to do with it does. When I bumped up against my hurt the other day, I realized that in fact I no longer hurt because I was deciding that above everything else in this world, nothing was more important then that I be happy.
Caleb is broken and confused and still I feel that it is our priveledge to be shown this through him...we must be happy because in doing so we believe in him. We believe he will get better, we believe he will laugh again out loud, we believe that he is the creator of his own destiny and that he can do anything he needs to do . We believe that he will walk the walk with us and that we will each follow our path the very best we can..but we will be holding eachother so tenderly, so lovingly as if to say......
"we know a different kind of life from here on....."