Dearest Kai and Max,
I want to speak to you from the heart. I have been experiencing great sadness surrounding all of what has come to pass in our lives. I have been sad that Caleb is lost to us as he once was, and I know this breaks your hearts as well. I can see it in your eyes when you look at him. I am sad that your father chose to leave us when we needed him the most. I sense this loss in your souls when someone speaks his name. I am sad that we will forever be changed. Caleb is very alone now on his journey.... he struggles daily to regain some sense of what has happened to him and why he is the way he is today. He prays each night that he will see again out of his left eye and will hear again out of his right ear. He is sad as well. In his saddness I see his determination and his fight. He is a warrior of the strongest kind because he is full of love. That is what defined him prior to his accident and defines him now in his healing. He is and always will be full of love.
The inevitable has happened.. most of his friends have stepped away, and this is said not with blame or guilt attached to it, but just with more tears as I know how much people, his friends in particular, have meant to him. I have learned something from this. Caleb always put everyone first - even before himself as you know...much like your father did....and now (for the most part) he stands alone . I have learned that putting yourself and your happiness first is the most important thing you can do in your lifetime...follow your bliss. No-one else knows what is best for you...but you do! Because of this trajedy I want more specifically, almost with a certain urgency, to impart on you the idea of following your heart ..against all odds and against convention. Bliss guides you and tells you when you are on the right track. Your emotions back that up. I want to know that you will try to generate different feelings from this day forward, because by doing so you will make everything right that has been wronged.
Be the creator, the generator of your life. Find something in all of this that makes sense and heals you......and know in your hearts that I will forever be at your backs!
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On the fourth of July, 2007 Caleb Potter was involved in a skateboarding accident.
He suffered serious injuries and continues to need all of our positive thoughts and prayers.
This blog is to serve as a space for updates on Caleb's journey of recovery.
He suffered serious injuries and continues to need all of our positive thoughts and prayers.
This blog is to serve as a space for updates on Caleb's journey of recovery.
Adding Comments
Please feel free to add your comments to the blog. All you have to do is click on the number of comments at the bottom of one of the postings. Then write your comment in the box provided on the right side of the screen. Thank you to all of you who have been commenting so far; we're creating quite the community on here! Be well...
A BIG Thank You
In this season of giving thanks and celebrating family togetherness, I wish to extend a warm thank you to everyone who has been involved in a myriad of ways with my son, Caleb Potter, and his recovery. On July 4, he was involved in a skateboarding accident in our little hometown of Wellfleet on Cape Cod, that caused him serious injuries. He came home from Spaulding Rehab in Boston just before Thanksgiving. Through the blog we started:
http://calebpotter.blogspot.com/
the Wellfleet community of support stretched far and wide across the country, and in fact, throughout parts of the world, with many people offering prayers and words of wisdom. We could not have come so far without this legion of support from all of you, in Wellfleet and beyond. We are sincerely grateful.
Sharyn L. Lindsay and family
http://calebpotter.blogspot
the Wellfleet community of support stretched far and wide across the country, and in fact, throughout parts of the world, with many people offering prayers and words of wisdom. We could not have come so far without this legion of support from all of you, in Wellfleet and beyond. We are sincerely grateful.
Sharyn L. Lindsay and family
DONATIONS
THE CALEB POTTER
BENEFIT FUND
Donations may be made in person at any branch of Cape Cod Five Cents Savings Bank or mailed to the bank at P.O. Box 697, Wellfleet, MA 02667.
Thank you SO MUCH
for your contributions.
With love,
from all of Caleb's friends and family
BENEFIT FUND
Donations may be made in person at any branch of Cape Cod Five Cents Savings Bank or mailed to the bank at P.O. Box 697, Wellfleet, MA 02667.
Thank you SO MUCH
for your contributions.
With love,
from all of Caleb's friends and family
Official Information
If you have questions about calebpotter.blogspot.com,
email Sky at:
novembersky.freysscole@gmail.com
email Sky at:
novembersky.freysscole@gmail.com
For Sending Cards etc.
Caleb Potter
c/o Sharyn Lindsay
45 Sapokonish Way
Wellfleet, MA
02667
(please be respectful)
c/o Sharyn Lindsay
45 Sapokonish Way
Wellfleet, MA
02667
(please be respectful)
MORE POSTS!
To make sure that the blog continues to be fresh and quick we've cut down the number of posts shown on this main page. However, all the posts are still there. Just scroll down to the bottom and click on "Older Posts" to read the rest!
19 comments:
Oh Sharyn - It sounds like you are hurting very much right now and feeling a great deal of sadness and feeling very much alone - for yourself and Caleb. Well - we've got your back. We're all right here for you. Come on blog community. Let's step it up for Sharyn.
Hi, Sharyn. Life is so unexpected, isn't it? Right now my two beloved daughters hardly speak to me because of some lies their father told them 20 years ago, after our divorce. The son of one of my best friends has become psychotic. The son of another best friend has developed schizophrenia and she is in denial. My former sister-in-law and brother-in-law lost a child to crib death 30 years ago and it still influences the way they interact with their two other children. Life is certainly no fairy tale. Caleb is still with us, and that, in itself, is a miracle after the type of accident he had. You have friends in the blog community, and you have friends here in Wellfleet. Any time you feel upset, you need to reach out to them. I have been worrying about you since you let two weeks pass without blogging. You used to drive by our house all the time. We would love to have you stop by some time when you need to talk. We are here for you. XOXO
Sharyn,
Thank you for being so honest. I am guilty of reading, and not commenting. I have commented in the past but not lately. I am a little shy. I thought that sending positive energy your way was enough. I think you are an amazingly strong woman and I have a lot of admiration for you. I really only know you through a mutual friend, Miriam and your sister, Carol because she taught my son Aaron in the 5th grade, and this blog. I don't know what to say to comfort you but please know that I care and that I am touched by what you write. If you would like to connect for a coffee or glass of wine I can be reached at happysmilingchic@yahoo.com. Soon the sun will shine longer and the day's will be warmer. Take care and go easy on yourself.
Kara
Hey Sharyn - see - we are all here, and love you so much. Even tho you don't know us, we are here for you. We've got your back. OK everyone. It's working. Keep sending good vibes to Sharyn. Blog community- step it up. Now is the time.
Sharyn,
You're the best Mum and friend your kids could ever have. I'm sad for your sadness and Caleb's loneliness. You write so honestly and fearlessly about your feelings that I'm sure it helps you and your young men, and the rest of us along the way. You have every right to be sad when you need to be sad. And you deserve BIG happiness when your sadness fades in time. blessings- XOXO.
i sent this once before - months ago - it has never stopped being appropriate. it applies all the way around the circle and radiates along the spokes.
please know that you are loved - all of you.
from e e cummings:
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
from my heart to yours with very big love,
susan
Hi Sharyn,
Guilty as charged, for reading every day but not commenting nearly enough. I wanted to comment on your last post, but I was trying to be as eloquent as you, and it just didn't work. I think now I will take your advice and be myself--hopefully, it will come out okay. Sharyn, you are made of pure, 100% love, and your post tonight is just another example. What you have done here in the past year and a half is more than just keep everyone updated on Caleb's recovery. You have created life and love. The greatest gift of love is to open one's self to the very core to let others, many of us strangers, so to speak, in. There are so few people in this world that are capable of the depth of love that you have shown to all of us. I consider myself so very lucky to be able to be a part of such a community where life and love are so fully cherished and shared. Thank you for the opportunity to give some of that love back.
Liz
Sharyn, my heart aches for you and for Caleb. In particular, your comment that 'the inevitable has happened' hit home for me with laser precision. So much so that if you were to visit the random self-indulgent musings on my Facebook site, you'd see (among other pearls of wisdom) the pithy statement "if you really want to learn who your friends are, acquire a disability."
In my own family, this has happened twice - when I was very young, my father was paralyzed by a surgery gone awry, and decades later my daughter lost her ability to speak (and many other things) after her stroke. In both cases, it was exactly as you said... people were universally supportive and compassionate at first, but as time passed, contact became less frequent and they eventually just sort of backed away. I honestly believe none of them harbored any ill will, and probably most of them felt no small measure of guilt. There are so many nuanced layers of reasons... some people are uncomfortable and don't know what to say, where to look, how to help; some activities are no longer appropriate (my Dad didn't play much golf after he lost the use of his legs)... to the person in the situation though, none of that matters. It just hurts.
For what it's worth, I think it may help Caleb to reach out in new directions, identify new communities of people whose interests or experiences or capabilities ane more in line with the new reality. Would Caleb be interested in doing some sort of mentoring or peer counseling of recently brain-injured people at the rehab place that helped him out? He has a great personaity, and as you point out, his inclination is to put others first; the mere fact that he is walking around, breathing on his own, talking with people, and able to smile could really have the power to change the life of someone who is at ground zero. Maybe a new activity/commitment of that sort might bring a sense of purpose, of giving back, as well as some new social contacts. Sometimes putting others first can really be a way of putting oneself first.
These are just some thoughts, I'm in no position to dispense advice. Just please, please know that we have not backed away... we are here, as we always have been. We'e not going anywhere. And you have my phone number, and I am here to listen, anytime you need me to.
I hope that you heed that last paragraph too...your boys need you to heal and lead your life as well.
I will continue to hold you in my heart as you make this journey.
sharyn
when you write to your boys, you are also writing to all of us. i will take your words to heart, i will try to find my bliss, and follow it too.
my heart goes out to all of you. i think of you every day when i look at the blog to see if it has changed and see if there is happy news or sad news.
i am checking in on a group of freinds, ... no ... family... who i care very deeply about.
i pray for caleb to find his place in this healing, and i pray for kai and max to understand and accept and grow and learn to deal with these losses but grow in another direction, a happy one.
and i pray for you dear sharyn, that you will find peace and understanding and hope again, because i have seen you with it before and i know it is in there. time will tell.... and all that time, i will be here supporting you.
amy in ct
Please know you are not alone; I don't write as often because I can't always express what I truly want to say.
Be strong, get out with others, make time for you.
J
sharyn:
just know that we love you, all of you, and send it out each and every day. we're here, anytime.
with love,
elspeth & alex
Sharyn,
For as much as you know how we love to tease each other with humor, I struggled very much to read through your pain here today. I know it's there and I can only hope you can become stronger from it! That's your only choice I hope...
I'm sure you can remember some funny thing that happened.
Hold that thought!
Kevin
I too don't reply when I read-I check everyday and worry when there is nothing new on your blog.
There are more of us behind you then you know-keep up your strength-the days are getting longer...
Like everyday I love you guys, we all do..
Caleb, I miss ya buddy, and can't wait to see you, and give you a big old hug.
Sharyn, we always have your back.. honor your past, but look forward to your future, you have 3 awesome boys, a beautiful family, & SO many people that admire your ways. Strobe light dance parties this summer.. oh yea.
Kai, and Max.. hope you guys are having a freekin blast traveling, you deserve new adventures, and to come back refreshed. Luv you dudes.
Sharyn:
As always, your words are a window into your soul. I'm so very sorry that you and your sons are in an emotionally painful place right now. I wish I could help.
NY/Wellfleet Mom
Hi Sharyn,
Jerry G said what was in my heart to share. For various and sundry reasons, in another lifetime, 99% of my friends, with promises to stay in touch/get together/be there for me, etc., disappeared. Maybe it was the inevitable. But I knew I needed to find another life. Finding resources for Caleb to be with peers, or mentoring, --I think might be a positive option and something that could be discussed with the rehab. Caleb has so much to teach others and so much "to live" about. We all make adjustments to our own personal horrors and I know that he will shine here. Time is going to be a factor. It took me what seems to be forever to figure it out.
There is nothing more painful that viewing your childrens' anguish. And we are mothers. And mothers feel each others' pain. I wish I could take some away from you. I isolated myself and that was not the best move, but I was frozen. You have a good community that I hope continues to reach you and you, can reach out too, even when it seems like a huge chore. Sending warm thoughts and clarity.
Still walking right beside you, Sharyn, still thinking, still praying , still sending healing and strength, and as from the start, still filled with hope that your pain diminishes and your joy knows no bounds. Never doubt it.
As always, with hope,
peg from PA
Sharyn,
You have such incredible strength and wisdom--your advice to your boys is right on. What happened to Caleb can happen to anyone, at any time. What matters is that they have lived the life they were given to its full and not compromised their dreams while waiting for real life to happen. Sometimes we aren't granted that "real life" down the road.
Forgive me for saying this but you have to begin taking your own advice. One door is closed--Caleb's old life and his old friendships but the new Caleb will find new open doors and new friends. And you will too. The Sharyn of today has both myriads of old friends and the prospect of new ones.
Right now you are in the gap between the old and new lives, between Caleb's old friends and the future ones you can't imagine, between your own old life and the future one that is coming. That must be incredibly painful, like trying to ride two horses or like standing at a crossroad knowing you can't take the road you thought you would, but scared to venture down the dark lane into the unknown.
It sounds like its time, as others have said, to reach out to create new support networks for Caleb and new relationships into which he can grow. That will take some of the emotional burden off you that being the only constant in his life is creating. And its time for you to start a new project, one that will create new friendships and new connections. Not because your old ones are stepping back, but because you, too, need to follow your bliss.
aimai
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