There is a piano lyric which wafts through the house late at night while I am trying to sleep and he cannot. It is both melodious and melancholy at once. It is coming from somewhere deep down in his soft, flannel heart..both warm and tattered . Max plays it...but it plays our heartstrings as well, and echoes how Kai and I feel . We have days filled with lovely occurances, nurses here, friends dropping by, dinner with Sarah.....but at night when the world hushes to a close and whispers are heard throughout, we are trying to soothe our fears and confine them to ourselves...but our eyes give it away, and Max's music grinds us to a halt and brings us back to a gauntlet of emotions. I tell myself that a new breath is only a breath away.....
we continue to connect, and in doing so, we feel sane, but sanity is only as strong as our interpretation of it...and I worry night and day about how we really are doing.
Caleb is continuing to improve. He has more clarity, more memory, more reasoning. We are excited to travel together. This Friday we voyage as far as Bar Harbor with Judith, Timmy and Ethan joining us for the first leg of the trip. From there we will pass to St John's in Canada for an overnight, then on to Nova Scotia. We need to be away from the phone, the bills, the commotion.
Traveling together is what we have been doing our whole lives on so many levels...we wend ourselves forward once again.