It is dusk, and the night white flowers finally have their say, and with dignity and a silent presence they shine under the night sky and perhaps look more beautiful than their colorful counterparts.
So it is with Caleb. In his purity and innocense, he is more beautiful in a way than before and we watch him unfold and blossom before us. He is genuine; a naural beauty.

As many words and thought swirl around me, I am continually pulled back to one statement..." do what it is that you fear the most". For me that would be to abandon the role of caregiver; the be it all kind of mother..to dump it all and just be with Caleb.....to step back from my life as I knew it (work, work, work) to travel and to walk the walk with him - wherever that might lead me, and to whatever lengths that might take us. If I knew that I had but just one year- or one month- it is what I would do in a heartbeat...so why the hesitation? Life does get in the way - or we let life get in the way of what it is that our heart so clearly speaks to us...subtly at times - and shouting at us at others ....... if we allow ourselves the slightest of hesitations, we always hear more clearly what it is that calls to us!
I am trying to penetrate the voice of "me". I have determined that I will try to take this time for Caleb while he is healing. I am waiting for guidance, who I am certain is hanging out at the next block up the way and I am peacefully planning my next move.
Life is too short - I keep telling and telling myself that- but it is time to change that mode from words into action.
We are holding up well/ the boys are doing fine with all of our changes/ they are all turning into white flowers.