I don't know how it is.. but I feel like today we have a new start - a new beginnig, my perspective has changed and I feel better. I remember when my boys were new to this Earth and for a couple of months they would refuse to sleep---- with number one it didn't matter so much - I could catch up on sleep when he napped during the day.. then son number two came along and the no sleep thing became bigger - then number three and the sleep deprivation seemed monumental and took me to the very brink.. to the breaking point --- and then it seemed as tho they somehow sensed it and would suddenly sleep through the night.. which of course created still more sleep dprivation, because now I was up all night wondering what was wrong.
Today feels like that - I am beyond - at least for today -- the worry stage and am finding my footing.
I miss Caleb - the Caleb who I have known for 25 years - who I grew up with , while he grew up by my side, who I lived with through my wild years and my married years, and cried with through my devastated years , and walked next to as a friend; who's hair I fluffed with my finger tips'' 'the boy who's eyes could penetrate mine and could see beyond what other's could see...
But today for some reason I am looking up instead of down and I am finding my footing in spite of not looking where I am going - and I feel better for just trusting!
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13 comments:
Keep looking up, the view is good........... and welcome to the other side of the road.
I remember those sleep-deprived days well...a good part was having some quiet time with each baby alone, even if it had to be in the wee hours.
You sound better, more
optimistic, ready for what may come!
peace,
janet
that is what i tell you all the time girl, keep your face up to the sun.
i am so glad you sound better.
yes that caleb is not here right now, but you do still have him and that is the miracle....
the miracle that has kept him here with you...
the miracle that has grown your tribe from a handful to hundreds...
the miracle that we have all seen (thru your words)
and we are pleased to be part of.
prayers to you this night
amy in ct
Your voice is clear. I hear hope and optimism and anticipation - and rest! Something new is around the corner, some glimpse of whatever the gift hiding in the last challenging year might be. Take your time with the footing thing - plant one firmly before you pick up the other, and you'll stay balanced and grounded and better able to greet the gift with open arms when it appears.
Big love to you all -
Susan
Keep looking up, to the sky and the stars beyond....there is no limit to how much hope a heart can hold...it seems you have made it to the other side of the road at last....take a run and jump for joy! Today is a better day and Caleb is alive and still by your side......as are we.
As always, with hope and love,
peg from PA
Sharyn,
Great to see you out and about....
Glad to hear it's looking "up" for you!
Kevin
Sharyn -
There's so much in your words I wish we could talk about at the bar at The Wicked Oyster, or at my kitchen table...... our babies....,our wild years,missing the "old" Caleb...but for now...
I am SO happy to hear your "voice" and it's one of triumph and hope.
I hope you can find your footing and stay in that place more often.
Remember to give yourself permission to NOT be there sometimes too - none of us can stay "up" all the time - be careful not to be too harsh with yourself.
One day at a time - one step at a time - and as always, we are here - stepping along, right beside you!
Nancy in NY
Ah yes, sleep deprivation can really put a monkey wrench in your best plans. You do sound much better, I am so glad you seem to be finding your way in your brave new world. I hope that everyone at your house is taking full advantage of International Talk Like a Pirate Day! I certainly intend to.
Sharyn, It amazes me that even though I do not really "know" you, when you sound up, it makes my day. When you are down, I feel sad. Isn't it amazing how connected we humans all can be?
Keep smiling and looking up. Your feet will know where to go.
That was from me...Amy from western MA
(So many people named Amy here!)
ARGH!! Take the day and talk like a pirate Lindsey/Potter family!!!
J
When you smile, we all smile!
Keep looking up.
NY/Wellfleet Mom
I hope the positive outlook continues for you!
Thinking of you all-
Jerry
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