I must have walked by that B bus parked at Stop and Shop a thousand times over the course of the years, and never paid it any attention till today. I went searching for it, payed Caleb's fare and off he went independently to school. Now let me explain a little about the emotions I continuously go through in these situations....elation for one, knowing that Caleb is even able to do this, anger because this trip which usually takes 40 min from door to door will now take 1hr and 45 min because of all the stops....and these are disabled people riding this bus. Helplessness knowing that he will have to find his way to the classroom that he could not remember the last 3 times I drove him...and so then how will he find the bus coming back? Tenderness for the fragility of life that most people walk around not even aware of. Of course as I walked Caleb to the opened door, a young mother and tow headed little boy passed by reminding me, like a long, low punch in the gut, that I too was once full of wonder and contentment about all 3 of my sons, proud and smiling, walking unaware. It is a push/pull, tug of war in my heart almost every moment of the day. Blessings that we are still here to witness it, but shredded at the corners, and a bit tattered in our hearts.

Caleb's first day at college, and my stomach was rolled tighter than a joint!
So I sat with my back to the "real" world outside the cafeteria where all the students stood fashionably dressed, flirting and trading high fives, and watched Caleb and his new gang walk by, unnoticed. But I noticed that simultaneously two worlds could collide and smile and move forward, find new friends and find themselves, each at their own pace. So I sat (as I did when Caleb first went off to preschool) by the window and watched with trepidation, worry and concern till he turned towards me with the biggest grin on his face, and laughter in his eyes. And just as I did when he went off alone at age six, full of excitement and full of promise ....I wept.

CBS

For those of you who looked for us on Wed. morning show- we were bumped for the lady who got attacked by the monkey. "Breaking news" they called it. Otherwise I could have claimed that I was on the morning show with Michael Douglas and the President! I will let you know when they might be airing again, but then again, I could get bumped for a gorilla riding cowboy! Go figure.
We are well. Caleb was accepted, and will begin college classes in September. Project Forward is a spin-off from the Community College and accepts disabled persons into life teaching skills classes. I am thrilled for him, although his complaining sounds just like he did when he was 7. " School again?"