Here we are, and always remain, a patchwork quilt of emotions, dreams and desires. A life sewn back together and cherished. I used to sing a pretty little tune in my head, and now it is a sad song that carries me. But through adversity comes change, and like that little green snake that resides in my pond, we slide along behind, shedding our old skin... and grow new.
Caleb and I sat cuddled together on my bed just before he left me to slumber away..and I spoke openly about his accident and told him how much I miss the old Caleb. For the first time he prompted the conversation and wanted to tell me how it felt from his vantage point...how he feels locked inside and cannot get back to who he was before. I reply that I too cannot seem to find who I was before his accident either...we are patched together..torn pieces and bare threads hanging loose. This is more than just a heartbreak for me..it smells of death.
Life goes on....he is active in the community, a bit happier each day, confident, and riding a wave to change.
I have been devising a plan to turn part of my property into a cutting bed so that I can employ Caleb and another brain injured man in the spring with the hopes of building this into a much bigger program. This is now my life and I take it on with open arms...bring it on... I shout into the heavens! So come buy your fresh flowers from us. We are looking for a name..Caleb and I will be selling at the farmer's market in Orleans and then hopefully the following year at the Prez Hall here in town. Organic veggies and flowers are the menu - so all of you free thinkers ..just give me some input if you have any.
And along with all of that, I still hold onto my childhood dream..that there will most certainly be a happy ending!
And I will once again find the beauty that is Caleb.
Monday, November 30, 2009
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24 comments:
"Happy Changes Garden"
J
"New Root and Bud..."
"Many Great Changes At the Last Possible Moment Garden" (after the Grace Paley story.
aimai
Sharyn,
amazing to hear that you had that conversation with Caleb...your journey is so challenging, your honesty is always refershing.
here are the results of a brief brainstorming session I ahd with myself!
Long Pond Produce
Flower Power
Pirate's Produce
Yellow Beard's Bounty
Long Pond Garden
Wellfleet Gardens
I'll keep working on it!
Claus
This is absolutely marvelous! Therapeutic settings focusing on individuals' skills and interests are almost always a success, therapeutically and, sometimes, commercially. Coming from the mental health system, I am reminded of Wild Acre Inns with its focus on horticulture, Gateway Arts with its focus on art, and Tunefoolery with its focus on music. Sharyn, keep plodding along. Your open and direct conversations with Caleb will move both of you along towards healing. I am seeing seedlings of blessings sprouting around you. Despite your heartaches, I see ideas and hopes for the future coming from you and Caleb.
I love the plan, it's inspired! How about bloomers... in some form...bloomers & friends? None of us are quite who we were 2+ years ago. You and Caleb seem to be healing and growing, rejoining the community that loves you. I value your honest words, the sad song, too. Those old, threadbare quilts can be the most precious and valued keepsakes, worthy of patching and mending and reinventing as new works of art. I'm looking forward to buying your fresh flowers and veggies!
Seeds of Hope?
Seeds & Hope?
Potters-n-peas?
Grateful Gardens?
Graceful Gardens?
The image of you and Caleb chatting before dream-time is very comforting and so, so moving. I am very glad that you have made it to this place and growing in to this new life with such grace and hope.
The seed catalogs will be out soon! I will think of you as I page through...
As always with hope and love,
peg from PA
Field of Dreams....
Field of Dreams.....
Here's a great name!
This Bud's for you!!
What do you think??
;-))
Kevin
Dear Sharyn,
I read your blog at the end of my work day yesterday and started thinking that your idea of a cutting garden is fabulous. Maybe at some point you can build a greenhouse/hothouse and be open all year round!!
You mentioned patchwork quilts and I immediately got a warm feeling and thought some more! Well when Ziggy, my handsome, relentlessly persistant cat woke me by rubbing his cold nose against my arm I,of course, had to get up and let him out. Something to do with the full moon I suspect. Couldn't get back to sleep so visions of patches of herbs and flowers and veggies ran thru my head. Thus: LINDSAY-POTTER PATCHWORK GARDENS.
Love and best wishes,
Penny & Ziggy (he is partly responsible)
"Hope Grows"
We just got out our Christmas things and found the cards that we received from Caleb last winter. Would you like to receive cards for him again? We would be happy to put some in the mail!!! If so, please post your address again.
Thanks,
Charlotte
(mom to Kaylynn and Kristin)
I think just plain PATCHES--
Patches hold each side together and strengthen the whole(hole)--reminds me of the many knee patches I put on my childrens' pants.
Sharyn, the garden is a wonderful idea! Please let me know if I can help you promote it.
I was so very moved by your conversation with Caleb, and especially by his words. I have gotten to know the "new" Caleb, not having had the chance to know the "old" Caleb, and what a lovable human being he is.
You are moving forward so beautifully together.
Please stop singing that sad song. I've got some great Bruce Springsteen to share. I used to sing "No Retreat, No Surrender" all the time, and its optimism lifted my spirits.
Piratical Botanicals
Blossom
Sharyn:
Your post was especially beautiful today. I read it twice: the first time for content; the second time to savor the graceful way you stitched together your prose.
Your cutting bed idea is brilliant! It's exciting! And it smells of LIFE! Go for it!
I'm going to put in a vote for a name suggested by another blogger: Hope Grows. (But I have to say, Kevin's suggestion takes the prize for clever AND funny!)
Sending positive thoughts your way for a therapeutically AND commercially successful project.
NY/Wellfleet Mom
Sharyn,
It was very moving to read your description of the conversation between you and Caleb. It's hard to imagine how you both must feel when you look back and forward together. I guess the "together" is the most important part of that and it's part of what's so hopeful, to me, in what you shared.
I love the idea of the cutters table, and just to have an excuse to drop by when we know that you guys will be there. I think Marc's suggestion of Piratical Gardens is a good one, along with many of the other suggestions. We're thinking of you,
Neil and Carrie
Sharyn, once again I'm blown away by one of your poignant posts. In the here-and-now, although it's heart-wrenching to read of Caleb's comment about being 'locked inside', it's also revealing in a good way, I think, in that it reflects a level of awareness that he is no doubt building upon. The pieces may fit together differently, but it seems clear that he continues to focus on putting them together, which is great.
Looking ahead, since you invited 'free thinking'... I wonder whether there may be a way to achieve some kind of synergy by combining this new undertaking with Caleb's prior career and many contacts/friends in the shellfishing world. It sounds crazy, I know... but consider that a half dozen oysters on a bed of fresh [organic?] lettuce, presented nicely with [freshly grown?] garnishes and interesting [I'm out of my league here] recipes can bring $15+ in some of the fancier big-city joints. It seems to me that, at some level, fresh produce and fresh shellfish are complimentary goods. Being located in Wellfleet, there may be an opportunity to partner up with some folks already in your sphere, and bring some really tasty and profitable combos to market.
In any event, it's always good to get an update from you. Keep the faith, and please remember that we are still here for you (nutty ideas and all.)
Jerry
After being moved so much by your previous post:
Scallop Heart Gardens
I've watched this post for almost a week. Moved by the raw honesty of your discussion with Caleb; the feeling that you are both trapped yet as a heart that continues to grow stronger and beat more loudly with each passing week, neither of you are going to be trapped. On a mutual pathway, you and Caleb, but on very individual journeys.
Sharyn, I think I can feel in your words (both as a parent and an adult) how this experience can have the smell of death. As I sit in stillness I hold this deeply.
How ironic that the pathway you are choosing is that of new life, of growth, flowers, abundance and harvest.
Yes life goes on and with each passing day I send good thoughts to you all.
My name suggestions include some combos of others suggestions
Pirates Bounty
Pirates Harvest
Pirates Patch
Though I also have to admit that Kevin's also has a certain charm to it :)
Jeff
Change/growth is the very fabric of our lives. Sometimes the combination and textures of fabrics work well with a particular design, sometimes, not! But, one has the opportunity to work the pieces into a desirable design that suits the eye with color, texture, placement etc.
As a quilter, I see quilting as a metaphor for life...one starts a quilt with lots of different shapes and colors of fabric...how the finished product will turn out can be a mystery..sometimes up til the very end. Not unlike life, where we make our plans, piece them together, and hope they work out and make us happy. Having to deal with the occasional "spill" or "tear", requires us to shop around for the right fabric to match the torn piece, or the right soap to take care of the spill...life throws us the "curve ball" which requires us to duck, block, run or just stand up and catch the darn thing!!!
We are all made up of very interesting and colorful pieces,which makes our quilts vibrantly beautiful outstandingly unique....How beautiful that you and Caleb have reached a point where you can share those very conversations, once thought ...never to be had, and actually feel gratitude and relief for speaking the words. Though I imagine it may be bittersweet.
Today you are grateful for all the possibilities, as they present themselves. Today, you are looking forward, with the occasional twinge, reminder of what was.....BUT, the most brilliant light, lays in the moment at hand, and the possibilities of tomorrow~
Garden of
My entry: Bittersweet Delight
My Best and Brightest Wishes to all for a Glorious, Peaceful and Abundant Holiday Season,
Carino, Melinda
Change/growth is the very fabric of our lives. Sometimes the combination and textures of fabrics work well with a particular design, sometimes, not! But, one has the opportunity to work the pieces into a desirable design that suits the eye with color, texture, placement etc.
As a quilter, I see quilting as a metaphor for life...one starts a quilt with lots of different shapes and colors of fabric...how the finished product will turn out can be a mystery..sometimes up til the very end. Not unlike life, where we make our plans, piece them together, and hope they work out and make us happy. Having to deal with the occasional "spill" or "tear", requires us to shop around for the right fabric to match the torn piece, or the right soap to take care of the spill...life throws us the "curve ball" which requires us to duck, block, run or just stand up and catch the darn thing!!!
We are all made up of very interesting and colorful pieces,which makes our quilts vibrantly beautiful outstandingly unique....How beautiful that you and Caleb have reached a point where you can share those very conversations, once thought ...never to be had, and actually feel gratitude and relief for speaking the words. Though I imagine it may be bittersweet.
Today you are grateful for all the possibilities, as they present themselves. Today, you are looking forward, with the occasional twinge, reminder of what was.....BUT, the most brilliant light, lays in the moment at hand, and the possibilities of tomorrow~
Garden of
My entry: Bittersweet Delight
My Best and Brightest Wishes to all for a Glorious, Peaceful and Abunant Holiday Season,
Carino, Melinda
How about "Fresh"
Fresh produce
Fresh outlook
Hi Sharyn,
The garden sounds like Paradise in Wellfleet!
If you could use some extra help to make this dream a reality, I would love to help!
Happy New Year,
marcia
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