Adrift

The weary, exhuberant, exhilarated traverls have returned. We had a lovely time in Maine...no bugs to speak of, water view to die for, kayaking each day , many adventures including spotting bald eagles, Kai's shooting rapids, and the re-discovery of a old wooden fort tucked way into the woods that the boys had built and camped in long ago when they traved to deer isle with their dad...(well there were some bugs on that part of our adventure) It is a wonder to step back in time when there is no telvision to distract- only books, to begin each day with coffee and a sunrise, and the highlight of the day becomes time shared with one another over dinner.... or in my case the beating of my card shark Max for a consistent four days of rummy playing.
Our cabin was named Driftwood..and as my busy lifestyle drifted away, so did the thoughts drift in and out of my head. We have come so far, me and the boys since Caleb's accident.....as I watched them interact with their older brother, I witnessed miracles. Max, the manly kind of man who reaches out with a gentle, loving hand as Caleb teeters on the craggy rocks, Kai helping Caleb in and out of boats, and his undying patience when Caleb is crabby , tired and demanding, in spite of never knowing a Caleb who was ever this way before. We are learning to live and love differently. I sat in my kayak drifting on the waves, still, listening. In the farthest corner of my mind I heard a faint..... helloooo.... which sounded like it was drifting back over to me through present and past; through vast amounts of memory. It brought forth ripples of grief, dispair, sadness. It summond smiles and laughter and then again, tears. But like an old friend who is calling from afar, the faint at first, but perservering voice drowns out all fears, and meets us round the corner with a reminder of who it is we really are...soft, loving, prepared to take on the world with all of it's depth and despair. It is the soft hello of our mother when we first set forth our intentions ..to come forth into this world; not with the promise of pleasure and peace; but with the contrast which life gives us all.............and we move forward with desire.
We are home.