The Art opening was wildly successful- beyond anything I could have made up. Not so much about the money involved, even tho Chris sold many paintings, Dede's art hangs at Sams deli now, and Caleb sold out...but because of the faces; the proud faces of those lovely artists involved.
I feel like I could put on a wedding now, or a banquet for 100 at least. It was so much work, and so much more than rewarding. And my feet were killing me by 9.
And yet like a wedding I would imagine, when all is done..there is a certain amount of let down, a what's next question that hangs in the air. I feel a bit blue nowadays wondering why, after all the glamor and excitement, I still wake with the same dread....and I still remember a life from the past....and Kai? did you see the face of Max on Easter Sunday studying the face of Caleb without his knowing that I was watching? A pensive, searching face...trying, I imaging to recall who his brother was before, and not quite being able to do so...in the same way that I search each and every day for the same thing. It is always this way now- pleasure mixed with absolute pain...and pain with absolute pleasure. It has changed our lives forever and a day, forever and a year, forever and a lifetime.

Art opening

I have spent the last two days hanging the art show for Caleb, and hanging my emotions out on the clothesline. I feel dried up! I teeter between cheers and tears at all times. Looking at his pre- injured art and what he can do now is a vivid picture of great accomplishment and at the same time a telling story of what is now. I am so proud to be doing this and so sad to be doing this! Will this be my life from now on?

Tracy is the owner of the gallery..a young woman who I met when I was young with children the age of hers now. We spoke slightly and delicately of the bond of women and fathers and their children...and she voiced the fears that all humans have- how to keep them safe! I don't want to tell her that there are forces beyond us that we cannot understand that collide and take us to places we do not want to visit. I wish for her that she will not ever visit the places I have been.
But here we are now...sad, lonely, happy, elated...so many mixed emotions which cannot be swallowed at once. Perhaps the last lines of the bio that I wrote for Caleb sums it up- His family wants you to go home and hug those who you love best as they now know so well how quickly life can shift.
And Caleb wants you to know that he is the "coolest Man on Earth" and that he needs a girlfriend.