On the fourth of July, 2007 Caleb Potter was involved in a skateboarding accident.
He suffered serious injuries and continues to need all of our positive thoughts and prayers.
This blog is to serve as a space for updates on Caleb's journey of recovery.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Max and I were sitting outside on the back stoop looking out over the property...he was seven. A friend of mine drove up, parked in the side yard and walked toward us with 7 puppies gathered at his ankles, running around his legs yapping away. I remember leering at him..knowing that he knew... and I knew that we would end up with a puppy that day.
Max was thrilled when I told him he could choose one. We carefully studied each of them. I had my hopes set on a blonde.. but one dark little guy had the smarts enough to crawl up behind Max and take a bite. Max decided that the puppy chose him...and there was Spud...named by a friend who thought he looked like a fat little potato.

Tomorrow we put him down. The decision had to be made.
Like an old friend..Spud and I have traveled far and wide together. We have walked most of Wellfleet; crazy long walks especially after my separation, Jan's death, Caleb's accident. He helps me to think clearly; to calm myself by just following his footsteps as he bravely trudges forward with no judgments or opinion. He has been my friend.
My sons love him dearly and rub his head while silently whispering their individual love song to him, all the while knowing that tomorrow they will dig the hole he will be placed in.

And like an old friend..I have been annoyed at him at times, have scolded him, have been bothered by him and have ignored him too....but when the time comes when you know you will never be in the presence of that being again...your heart breaks with the thoughts of all that you should have said, could have said, or could have done.

Now the interesting part to me is that I am a trained farm girl..we don't get attached to animals..they only serve a purpose on the farm...but I can't seem to stop crying. Perhaps it is finally the flood that had to be held back with Caleb, the tangled deluge that was not allowed with Jan.

Spud..Thank you for allowing me to let go of all the things I have held so tightly in... as always, you are my ally. Sleep in Heavenly Peace.

13 comments:

Amy said...

Sharyn, My heart is breaking for you. I am a dog (and cat) lover, and I know that awful pain that you described so beautifully. It is so hard to let go, and so much the right thing to do.

I am so sorry for your loss. Anyone who has ever had a pet knows that this is a true loss, like losing a member of the family.

Amy said...

That was Amy from western MA. :)

janet said...

I'm so sorry. Dogs are dear friends. They leave an empty place in our hearts when they're gone. They're intuitive... my two came over to the computer to see what was wrong when I read your post, though I didn't say a thing.
Farewell dear Spud. Peace to you Sharyn, and family.

ch said...

Happy Holy-days to Spud....his memory and memories....and to all of the Potter/Lindsay extended fambly that has known him all these years....

Hail SPUDLEY.....love and light!ly ch/dad....and the rest of the clan

Jeff- in the Berkshires said...

My thoughts and heart is with you also. As another pet owner who also had to make a similar decision after 20 years of friendship, I can appreciate your feelings.

Blessings great Spud, you have been a gift that has left a mark on the hearts of many. Blessings Potter /Lindsay clan

Jeff

Tracy in the Berkshires, Ma. said...

keeping you in my thoughts and prayers...

Kevin Scalley said...

I still miss my dog Brandy who passed 1/1/87....Spud will be missed! Sorry to hear...

peg said...

I have had to say goodbye to two of my heart's companions over the years in the same fashion and both times it felt like a precious chunk of me broke off and went with them. I cry for them still and I am crying now for your dear Spudly. I am so sorry for your loss but glad that you had such a wonderful presence in your life all of these years.
My best to you all.
As always, with hope,
peg from PA

Melinda from Greenfield said...

My Dear Sharyn, Caleb, Max and Kai..you all know too well the pain of loss, as it has been a constant partner these last few years...I encourage you now to look to Gratitude for the wonder still present in your lives, and the wonder that was....Mr Spudley was too cute..felt privileged to meet him at your home...he enriched your lives, and was the best friend ever ( as I too lost my special Kebo at 17 yrs young 2 yrs ago) no judgment, just pure unadulterated L-O-V-E! Does it get any better? How lovely to have that precious energy to hold on to forever....

Just want you all to know that you continue to be in thought, and though not posting as often, still close in spirit, and tracking progress on all fronts. My Mari is a Senior this year, and boy oh boy, soo much to do! I am grateful to see that things are moving forward though often it doesn't feel that way...progress IS occurring...that's so great to know.

Sharyn, you are a wonder....a formidable presence, so generous of spirit. I again, want to thank you for your ability to "stretch" and share with us your "ups" and "downs", thereby illuminating the road for us all to witness. Not an easy task...for this I am grateful~

My sincerest and warm Intention for a New Year filled with dear friends and family, exquisite Health, consciousness raising opportunities, boundless Joy, and lasting Peace that knows no measure~

Grateful for this moment~

Blessings, from our home to yours,

Todo Carino,

Melinda.....Mari too:)

jennifer said...

Spudly J will forever be missed

haley.jane said...

Oh Sharyn, I am so sorry, I remember meeting Spud when I was about 11 years old. I had just befriended your boys when they introduced me to a large bouncing dog at the end of a clothesline. I was a little wary of the wild beast at first, but Spud had a sweet temperment and was always so much fun. He was like one of the boys, a true Fleetian at heart. I spent many summers with your sons, and so I spent many summers with Spud. I am very sorry for your loss, especially at this time of year. He will be missed.

NY/Wellfleet Mom said...

Spud will forever remain in your hearts--ever watchful, ever loving--for the special bond we have with our pets is eternal and can't be broken.

I'm sorry for your loss.

NY/Wellfleet Mom

Neil said...

Sharyn I am so sorry to hear that Spud is gone. He was a part of your family- hearing him bark whenever we stopped at your house always indicated to me that we were about to enjoy seeing you and your boys. Our hearts go out to you, Max, Kai and Caleb,

Neil and Carrie